APOLOGY STRATEGIES IN NATIVES/NON-NATIVESAnna Trosborg

In the Romanian language we have many ways of apologizing. While English and Danish speakers in most of the cases tend to reject their responsibility and become offensive, Romanian speakers usually admit their mistakes, but they try to provide a justification. If we take the example given in the study by Anna Trosborg - the conversation in the library – the complainee does not take on responsibility for damaging the book. In case of the same conversation between Romanian speakers, the complainee would rather say:“I’m sorry; I know I’ve made a mistake… I wanted to erase my comments, but the sheets of this book are so antique and so precious, I thought I would do more damage erasing it”. Minimizing the mistake is a very common reaction in both the case of English and of Romanian speakers. A common solution in both of the cases is to apologise but also to blame someone else. In the Romanian area we can meet a very common example of this behavior in high schools. Students tend to minimize their fault by blaming someone else.

Eg.: Teacher: Ion, why didn’t you hand in your homework? Student: Oh, I’m sorry. I wanted to, but my little sister just ripped it apart. I didn’t have time to do it again.

While English and Danish speakers both tend to simply acknowledge the responsibility and apologize, in case of the Romanian speakers this alternative is used very rarely. They rather plead for understanding and offer any repair, then simply just saying “I’m sorry, I know this is my fault.” They rather use roundabout phrases, try to avoid the concrete apology. Eg.: Mother: Where have you been? I was worried about you the whole night! Daughter: Oh, come on! It wasn’t a big deal, don’t make such a big fuss of it, try to relax, you know I can take care of myself. I’ll wash the dishes today, I won’t do this again.A common aspect of the strategies in the two languages is that when the complainee acknowledges the responsibility, the tone of the apology is very direct and polite. According to this study, there are a few aspects of apology strategies, which are quite common in case of Romanian speakers, but very rare in case of Danish or English speakers. There are many cases, in which Romanian speakers become very aggressive; they try to protect themselves by attacking back the complainer.

Eg: Mother: Oh my God! Your room is a mess! I asked you a million times to clean up! Daughter: Oh, yeah? But when I left my room and helped you with your paper work, you had no problem with how my room looks like, right?

In this case, the complainer has no other alternative, then to leave the room or start a fight.

SZÉKELY TÜNDE-VIOLALMA GE

3rd Year