“Building Confidence, Focus, Positive Habits, Leadership...

Copyright: © Jason Froehlich – Folsom Martial Arts Center

“Building Confidence, Focus, Positive Habits, Leadership, & Self Defense Skills In Your Teen With Martial Arts They Can Use To Become A

Total Winner!”

By: Master Jason Froehlich 4th Degree Black Belt – Thai-Kickboxing and Tae Kwon Do

2nd Degree Black Belt – Hapkido Black Belt – Pankration

Blue Belt – Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Blue Belt – Doce Pares Eskrima

A Jason Froehlich Book/ Original Copyright © January 2013 All rights reserved. No parts of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

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Disclaimer The character, habit, and life skills advice contained within this book may not seem appealing to some people or students, and the reader(s) should consider all material within before engaging or enrolling their child, teen or self in martial arts/karate training. Not all students will grasp onto the lessons taught at Folsom Martial Arts Center and parents and students should be aware that the material within is used in the most positive way to help the student to become a total winner in life. It also should be known that the author is not a psychologist, behavior analyst, or other professional with degrees in such fields. This material has come through years and decades of research and application as well as personal experience. Therefore all parents and students reading this should be fully aware of this. The author, publisher, and all affiliated with this book are not held responsible in any manner whatsoever for any physical or psychological injury which may occur through reading and following the instructions herein of the use of this advice. Before pursuing any martial art, Thai-Kickboxing or karate training, it is recommended that you consult your Physician, Doctor, or other medical professionals before starting this or any of the programs. The views and opinions expressed throughout this book are meant to serve as a guideline and are ideas that may better your child or your physical and mental wellbeing. There are NO guaranteed results from following any of the ideas or advice in this manual.

About the Author Master Instructor Jason Froehlich is a native of Dickinson, North Dakota. He has been fascinated and involved in martial arts, mental training, nutrition, fitness, strength training, and endurance since he was 13 years old. Once he started training in martial arts and competing in martial art tournaments at the age of eighteen, he quickly realized the importance of the mental and physical skills that martial arts started to give him. He started to see how these intangible, “unseen” benefits would help him transform into the total winner in life that he always wanted to be. He quickly realized that his martial arts training was giving him something more than just the self defense skills that he hoped to gain.


He wanted to be a champion and he knew that if you want to be a champion, then you need to do everything that a champion does, and that includes all the mental and physical training that they do. After about four years of martial arts training, in October of 1994, he joined the United States Marine Corps and started to further understand how martial arts training would benefit his new field of endeavor. In February of 1997, he was accepted into the elite All Marine Corps Martial Art Team, which to him was a dream come true. He hadn’t realized this at the time, but the new lessons in life that he was learning through this intense, elite training on the All Marine Corps Martial Art Team would actually come to benefit his future students as well. This further training and the journey to becoming a champion on that team would equip him with the knowledge and experience on how to become a champion in life. While on the team, he competed at the All Armed Forces Games against all the other branches of military service, and placed a bronze medal in his weight division. In October of 1998, after serving four years of active duty in the United States Marine Corps, he was honorably discharged, and started teaching the benefits of Martial Arts, Thai-Kickboxing and Korean Karate in a full time manner. Currently, he continues to expand his martial arts knowledge through training and teaching. Acquiring the skills and benefits that Martial Arts training offers, is something that Master Jason takes from his own training, and in turn gives to his students, be they children or adults. In the remaining portions of this book, you will find the great benefits that Master Jason has received through his training and how he passes them onto his current students. You can find out more about his martial arts program by calling his studio and speaking to his friendly and helpful Studio Manager, Rose. She may be reached at 916-983-3604. Or you can always visit his website: http://www.folsommartialarts.com.

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Table of Contents: Foreword The Inner Circle of Winners – Page 5 Lesson 1 Self-Confidence: The Great Equalizer – Page 8 Lesson 2 Focus: The Struggle to Pass High School – Page 10 Lesson 3 Discipline: How to Use This Habit to Become Unstoppable – Page 13 Lesson 4 Learning to Earn: The Power of Earning – Page 15 Lesson 5 Perseverance: How Winners Become Winners – Page 17 Lesson 6 Habits: Learning to Be Consistent and Regimental – Page 19 Lesson 7 Self-Talk: The Inner Voice That You Can Never Seem to Ignore – Page 21 Lesson 8 Leadership: The Way to Help Others Become a Total Winner – Page 23 Final Note An End Note from Master Jason Froehlich – Page 24


Foreword: The Inner Circle of Winners Winning is something we all enjoy. No one who I have ever spoken to or asked the question, “Do you like losing?” has ever said that they want to be a loser. Everyone wants and enjoys the feeling of accomplishment and winning. And winning is not something that is reserved for a few select lucky people. It is there for anyone who is willing to follow a few guidelines to win. Most people thinking of winning in terms of an object or a certificate – a trophy the size of a palace, maybe, or an award that says “#1,” “Best _____” you fill in the blank. The true prize that winning gives you is something beyond what I can describe with mere words. It has the power to make you feel great; it is a feeling that you cannot buy in a store, sum up or measure. It does not just fall on your lap and it is not served to you on a silver platter just because you asked for it. The true prize of winning is in the moment that you see yourself for the first time, and you see the greatness that you are capable of. It gives you something that we are going to talk about in greater lengths in Lesson One – Confidence. The powerful thing about winning is that it can lead you to a road of more conquests, more opportunities for you to adapt, overcome all challenges and win again. This self-realization has a power that is unmatchable. Winning comes in different ways, shapes and forms. It does not have to be about winning a game or sporting event. Winning can come in the form of taking your grade point average from a 3.0 to a 4.0 for the first time. It can also come in the form of being able to focus on a task longer than you did in the past or having the courage to speak in front of an audience. For adults in the work field, winning can come in the form of being able to tolerate co-workers with whom you do not see eye-to-eye, and not letting them “get under your skin.” Winning can come in the form of consistent mini-improvements here and there until one day, you look back and see the big picture of how much you have really improved. This is much like climbing a mountain – you cannot conquer that mountain with just a few long strides and then abracadabra: you’re on top! No – climbing a mountain requires perseverance; it requires patience in knowing that it may actually take you tens and thousands of strides before you reach the apex of that mountain. And perseverance requires the right kind of attitude. The most important thing that I’ve learned from being inside the circle of winners is that attitude determines everything. With the right attitude, I discovered that winning became easier because I no longer viewed things from a negative perspective. By having the right attitude, you increase your potential of winning. This attitude became the key that unlocked my potential forever. So when I set out to develop a Martial Art Program, I wanted to create something tailor made to help students realize what


they are capable of by first changing their attitude toward themselves. I wanted to create a Martial Art Program that would give my students the key to unlock their own potential forever; a program that would give them the tools to find their personal fulfillment in life even when they become adults later in life. It was with this mission that my character building, life skills, and leadership martial art program called “Building Champions and Leaders for Life Program,” was born. This program was created especially for the students at my school who take the lessons and knowledge to heart, and use it in their life. My very own Master Instructor is someone who I still look up to and consider a wise person. He once told me a short, metaphoric story, which I would like to share with you. It is a story about “Mother Eagle.” Although the story is told from Mother Eagle’s perspective, this is a story that fathers can relate to as well. Mother Eagle, as majestic and wise as she is, knows that in order for her eaglets to survive, they will need to learn how to fly one day, and the sooner the better because as she knows, nature although beautiful and nurturing, can also be harsh. Any mother, whatever her species, be she human, four-legged or winged, would want her young to live and prosper. Mother Eagle knows that if her chicks do not learn how to fly, surely they will die because she will not be around forever to feed them. She knows that one day, she too will leave this earth, and when she is gone, she wants to know that her eaglets will be able to fend for themselves. Mother Eagle knows the importance of self-reliance. So Mother Eagle does something radical in order to teach her eaglets the importance of survival and self-reliance. As harsh as this may sound, she proceeds to make her nest uncomfortable by making it smaller and smaller each day. She does this to coax her eaglets to fly out of the nest and do what an eagle does best – soar in the skies. So one by one, her eaglets do something amazing – they take a leap of faith, spread their majestic wings…and they fly! Mother Eagle is able to breathe a sigh of relief because she knows that when they soar in the sky, they are less likely to encounter larger, predatory animals like bears or lions who would surely overpower an eagle on the ground. With her eaglets flying, she knows they are now in control of their own life. As a parent, much like Mother Eagle, your biggest wish is for your child to someday be able to live and prosper as well – you want them to be able to survive and be in control of their own lives when they are older. As a parent, you know that you will not be around forever to take care of your child when he or she becomes an adult. You want your child to soar in the skies too; you want your child to be successful and happy. We want the lessons that we teach our children to empower them to take a hold of their newfound freedom and soar. As a martial arts instructor, I want to see all my students soar higher than they ever imagined they could. I want them to see the potential and unique abilities


that they possess and use them to help propel their goals, whether they are lofty or humble goals. Throughout this book, I will share with you all of the tools of success that I share with my very own students. This book is dedicated to all of my students past, present and future, and to their parents to whom I say this: I am your ally and your partner in helping you guide your child to be the best that he or she can be. So without further ado, here are some of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned through all the years of my own martial arts training. These are lessons that I teach in a very clear and outlined lesson plan for them to have the rest of their life.


Lesson 1 Self-Confidence: The Great Equalizer

I did not always have confidence in myself. In reality, I had some of the least amount of confidence in myself because of certain things that happened when I was in grade school. Those things that happened to me crushed my spirit, negatively affected my confidence and shattered my self-image. And this followed me all throughout high school and into my early years of adulthood, looming over my head like a gloomy cloud. I will tell you more about this when I get to Lesson 2: Focus. When I got into martial arts at the age of eighteen, I wanted to learn how to defend myself because of a fight that I witnessed at a friend’s party. What bothered me the most was that I was standing right beside the person who was attacked, and I didn’t even know what to do; I felt like a deer caught in headlights. This incident, however, was a turning point in my life because it made me realize my vulnerability in not knowing how to defend myself. The fear that I felt was enough to motivate and compel me to turn to martial arts and self-defense. At first, I wanted to learn how to fight, but the further I delved into my martial arts training, I started to discover one of the more powerful “unseen,” intangible traits of martial arts: Confidence. After just a short period of training, my physical skills improved, but at the same time, I started to develop more confidence in my ability to defend myself. As my years of training progressed, so did my confidence in my ability to protect myself and it wasn’t until later (about 3 years into my training) that I realized something else started to shift within me. Not only did I start to have confidence in the fact that I could defend myself, but also I started to see that confidence spread into other areas of my life. I was able to talk to others without feeling self-conscious of what I was saying or feeling like I wasn’t good enough, or some other self-defeating thought. I started to view myself in a whole different light; I started to respect myself. I could see that this newfound self-confidence was opening up doors of opportunity for me, giving me greater potential to accomplish most anything I wanted to. I no longer allowed anyone to push me around or determine my fate; I no longer allowed anyone else to make decisions for me based on what they wanted. I had the confidence to stand up for myself and get what I wanted. I had finally found my voice….and I loved the sound of it. I respected my new confidence because I learned that I did not need to use physical force to get what I wanted. I just needed to let others see that I carried myself differently based on what I believed about myself – I carried myself with confidence.


Confidence, I realized, is what you believe about yourself. Not just what you believe, but whether or not you really are going to stand up for that belief. If you stand up for something, then it makes it difficult for others to push you around toward something that they believe. You start to think about what direction your moral compass points toward, and you start to see if the views of other people are in line with yours. If they aren’t, you can quickly make a decision based on your moral compass and not theirs. Not only did confidence open up doors of opportunity for me, it also guided my life in a productive way that benefited me and those around me. Having confidence makes things easier because you are willing to live your life without fear. And when you start to live your life without fear, you can begin to see your total potential, along with all the possibilities that life offers. Living a life without self-doubt and constant fear of what others think about you is a more fulfilling feeling than allowing a gloomy cloud of fear or negative, self-sabotaging beliefs and thoughts to hover over your head for the rest of your life. With confidence, you begin to see that you are capable of accomplishment, and if you allow it to, that same confidence will build upon itself, higher and higher until you have reached a level of your fullest potential. The fact that I wasn’t always confident, didn’t have the best self-esteem and had to humbly learn, on my own, how to become a confident (and what I consider) total winner in life, fuels my purpose to share this message with my students and give them something that they can use their whole life. If you are reading this and feel that your child is lacking confidence, I can assure you that even in a short period of time, your child will learn how to come out of his or her shell and find the confidence within to overcome the fear of anything challenging. It may be that some children are shy, but shyness is only a product of fear. Give them the power and the tools to overcome their fear and you will quickly see their shyness dissipate. This is just one lesson that my martial art program will help your child learn, the next lesson is near and dear to me because it is what led to my lack of confidence.


Lesson 2 Focus: The Struggle to Pass High School

If you are reading this and your child’s lack of focus and concentration (whether at home or school) comes to mind, then let me start by sharing a personal note about myself: This lesson on focus has a more personal attachment to me because as a child, I suffered from lack of focus and concentration in the worst way that any child could. It all began when I started second grade and schoolwork started to get a little more challenging for me because I would have rather been doing a million other things than being stuck in school. Now, it wasn’t that I detested school, but rather that I just wasn’t focused enough to see past what I wanted to focus my energy on. And schools in the past and present day, don’t have the time, resources and knowledge to teach students how to focus. The school systems do a phenomenal job at teaching students academics, but nowhere will you find a school teacher whose lesson plan is outlined solely on training the mind how to focus. So as my story goes on, I made it through second grade and into third. But it was probably during the second month of third grade that I was sent to the school office to meet a “specialist” to decipher squiggly, odd-looking abstract-like pictures, place different shaped blocks into corresponding spaces, and answer an array of questions that did not make a drop of sense to me. All of this was done to determine if I had a “learning disability.” I know that I passed all of the tests that they put me through because the “specialist” was clearly pleased that I completed everything he wanted me to do. However, it was still established that I had a learning disability and I was consequently sent to a special class to receive further lessons on the academic areas that I struggled with. I want to be clear about the fact that I had no learning disability, but rather had a wonderful case of lack of focus. I say this because even while I attended those “special” classes, I still didn’t learn more about the subjects that I had to continue to learn. I didn’t focus in regular class and I didn’t focus in the special classes either. In the beginning, when I would get dismissed from my regular classroom to go to the “special” class, I thought it was cool; it almost felt like a privilege to be able to leave my regular classroom while everyone else had to stay behind. It was cool until everyone in my regular class realized the truth behind the “special” class that I’d get sent off to. And once everyone figured it out, I started to get labeled as the “dumb kid.” And let me tell you – there is no better way to crush a child’s spirit than to call that child dumb. Needless to say, this shattered my self-image. Children have no filter and because of this, they can be cruel towards one another. This label stuck with me until eighth grade when I finally tested out of this class. And the only reason I finally tested out of that class was because the teacher sensed that I didn’t truly belong in that class; she sensed that I was smart enough to be in regular classes, but she couldn’t pinpoint


that my downfall was a lack of focus. So she gave me an ultimatum: she told me that if I took a test and passed it, she would release me from the confines of the special class. Well, as you can imagine, I didn’t want to be in that special class another minute longer, so what did I do? I studied my butt off for that test, and guess what? I passed it. And as promised, I was released from that special class. No kid, especially in high school, wants to be labeled as the stupid one. And here’s the kicker – even after spending all those years in the special class (3rd grade through 8th grade, to be exact) I still did not learn a single thing about focus. Once ninth grade came along, I successfully failed English and had to spend the summer doing English classes just to avoid having to repeat 9th grade English while I was in the 10th grade. Again, these are things that could have been avoided had I learned how to focus. But, as I said, the school system (and unfortunately) my parents were not able to help me learn how to focus. I trudged through high school with this issue and by the skin of my teeth did I emerge through the fog of graduation-war. It came down to a final test in one of my classes that was going to determine if I passed high school or if I would have to retake some classes to just obtain my high school diploma. It was tough and was the reason why my confidence was virtually nonexistent. I didn’t believe in my abilities. In fact, I remember how whenever my teachers would come around the classroom returning our graded tests back to us, I used to take my paper and quickly flip it over to hide my test score before anyone else could see it. I never spoke about my lack of learning because I didn’t think much of myself. Therefore, I became more and more introverted and kept to myself. My poor confidence stemmed from my poor focus. That sounds strange, but because I didn’t have a clear blueprint to help improve my focus, my confidence was crushed because I feared being perceived as dumb. Well, I passed high school and found myself fortunate enough to quickly find a job in my local city. This job provided me with the funds to enroll myself in a martial arts school at the age of eighteen. The truth is that I wanted to be in martial arts ever since I was in the fifth grade, but my parents couldn’t find the time to enroll me in martial art classes because we lived fifteen miles away from the school, on a farm that required a lot of time doing hands-on chores. I love my upbringing, but it didn’t give me the tools that I really needed. And it wasn’t until I enrolled myself in martial arts training that my instructor told me (on just my second day of training, mind you) that I needed to learn how to focus. He said something to me that helped me realize that my problem was lack of focus. Instead of telling me that I have a learning problem, he said, “Jason, you need to learn how to focus your energy.”


Now, isn’t that funny that someone with no “academic” credentials to evaluate me on my ability to learn said that I needed to learn how to focus rather than how to learn? Yes, it does seem odd to me. But, he was right. It wasn’t that I couldn’t learn – it was that I wasn’t focusing my energy and efforts. My mind wandered like a plastic bag in the wind, and so did my imagination. But I was fully capable of learning anything once I focused and concentrated my energy. It was tough, at the time, to learn how to focus, but it wasn’t impossible. I spent my days at the martial arts school and even though my training entailed much of the physical aspects of martial arts, my mental training was being stimulated twice as much because of my wandering imagination. I had to remain centered in the moment and remain focused on the task at hand or I would find myself in a difficult situation. Not to mention, I had to focus, concentrate, and remember the skills that I learned so I could pass my test and get my next belt so I would be one step closer to a black belt. All of the focus training that I received in the martial art school in my home town of Dickinson, North Dakota and then in my Marine coach’s martial art school in San Diego, CA, gave me the skills I needed to become an honor student in college several years later. Now, I didn’t become smarter in the time that I graduated from high school and started college, it was just that I became more focused, listened better, had more concentration, and was able to remain still to retain the information that I was learning. I tell you all this because I NEVER want any of my students to have to go through what I went through in grade school and all the way through high school. It was tough for me and can be tough for anyone. That is why I am on a mission to help teens get past their focus concerns and learn how to become more disciplined in the way they listen, concentrate, and remain on task to reach their goals. I think you probably would agree that focus leads to success in life and when you lack focus, you have a hard time finding direction or staying on course. With focus, your chances of becoming successful increase exponentially. If you believe that, then I believe you will enjoy all the focus and concentration drills that are part of my martial art program for teens. In the next section, I want to talk to you about what I teach for discipline and why I believe it is so important.


Lesson 3 Discipline: How to Use This Habit to Become Unstoppable

I don’t know if you would agree with me, but I believe that discipline leads to success as well. Combined with focus, you create a habit that transcends you to becoming unstoppable. When you are disciplined enough to remain on task, then anything becomes easy to win. Now, that doesn’t mean that winning is easy. Rather, it becomes easier because you aren’t allowing other things to get in the way of your progress. My mother is probably one of the most disciplined people I know. Discipline is a quality that I admire and love in her and it’s something that I have always aspired to become. I never really thought about how valuable this quality was until I joined the United States Marine Corps. While I was in the Corps, they polished the quality of discipline within me until it was very shiny, bright and unmistakable. Even though my mother instilled this quality in me and the Marine Corps polished it, it was really up to me to learn how to become self-disciplined. Self-discipline is something that we all aspire to reach in our life. Whether that is to stay healthy and fit, eat good food, speak wonderfully to our spouse and children, or anything else, self-discipline is a trait that is highly looked upon as very valuable – almost as valuable as gold – and probably more valuable once you see that it can do more for you than gold ever can. The Marine Corps did a great job polishing this character trait in me, but what I also want you to know is that my martial art training was the leading linchpin that helped me become more disciplined after I left my parents’ nest and started living on my own. Training in martial arts to reach your black belt requires years of discipline and focused training. Without it, you simply cannot reach the level of black belt. If you don’t show up for training, don’t take the time to practice, or aren’t disciplined to go through the moves that you are taught in class, you won’t truly reach the level of black belt. It’s safe to say that the same thing applies to learning in school or keeping your house in order. If you aren’t disciplined to do your homework, aren’t willing to practice your subjects in school, or keep your house/room clean, then things quickly begin to crumble around you. I learned this lesson the hard way, which is how most of us learn, unfortunately, but as soon as I started my training in martial arts, I quickly realized how discipline in one area of my life became beneficial in other areas of my life.


I took those lessons on discipline and applied them to my whole life to become a total winner. And I take these lessons on discipline and teach the students in my program how to use them in their life in a very clear and concise message. It may take some time to become disciplined because discipline is about learning what you have to do and not what you want to do. You have to learn how to do the things that are important first and then you can do the things that aren’t so important. It’s about setting your priorities straight. This habit will make you successful in life and that is why I teach it so much in the program for all the students. Discipline is one of the key elements in our training – whether that is physical or mental. If your teen becomes part of this program, I will assure you that the message of discipline is something that is taught in every class. The next lesson that I learned in my martial arts training was so powerful that I realized that patience and delayed gratification is worth more than having something just handed to you on a silver platter.


Lesson 4 Learning To Earn: The Power of Earning

“The worst things in life come free to us.” – Ed Sheeran

When I first heard the above quote phrased in a song by Ed Sheeran, it resonated in me and immediately made me think of one of the most important lessons in martial arts. The reason I say this is because if I had been simply given my black belt with zero to no effort required or if I had just purchased it from a store somewhere without having to earn it, I would not feel as strongly as I do about what I teach and what I have learned. Someone once asked me if I would give up my black belt and all the knowledge that I had gained along the way for a sum of money that would last me the rest of my life and allow me to live as lavishly as I wanted. I told them, “NEVER!” It would have been like making a deal with the devil. The lesson on learning to earn was so powerful for me that I gained patience from it, beyond what I can describe. Patience is a virtue that must be learned through some kind of training. There are times when we want instant gratification – to just simply be given whatever it is that we want. In our society, we have become accustomed to being able to buy or take what we want. It’s not that I vehemently condemn instant gratification, but there are things that money cannot buy, and there are things that we cannot simply take as we please. We must earn them. Sometimes it means learning how to earn the hard way, but I am sure that you’d agree that nothing worthy in life is just handed to you. For instance, your paycheck isn’t handed to you simply because you ask for it, and your high school and/or college diploma isn’t granted to you simply because you occupy a seat in the class. I am sure that you had to work hard to get to where you are today. There is value in earning. I know I had to learn the value of earning, and I believe that teaching my students the power of earning will give them the confidence to believe in themselves to stay on course and stick with something until its completion. When it comes to finishing what they start, many children tend to start many things and then quit only after a short period of time because they find out that it will take longer than they expected to reach the goal they want. They are tempted to quit when they realize that instant gratification is out of reach.


All the students come in and see the “magic black belt” that I wear on my waist and they want it. I teach them that the black belt is something that is earned and not just given. They must earn it through dedication, perseverance, and an attitude becoming of a humble warrior. I teach them that earning a black belt is a journey that can become challenging, but on the road that they travel to become a black belt, they will gain the knowledge from the lessons within martial arts. As a parent you want your teen to go off to college, get a higher education and see their dreams come true. I want them to have that as well. But in order for your dreams to come to life, you must finish what you start and follow through on hard work. Our dreams sometimes take half a lifetime or almost a full lifetime to come to fruition, but when you stay the course and follow the next lesson that I am going to talk about, then becoming that total winner in life becomes more of a reality.


Lesson 5 Perseverance: How Winners Become Winners

One of the things that teens do is give up on something before seeing the full potential that they could have received from actually completing it. Now, it doesn’t mean that you force them to do things they hate. If a teen absolutely hates martial arts training, has no interest in it, or loses interest for whatever reason, I never encourage parents to force their child to train at my school. Forcing a child to train in martial arts when they absolutely despise it creates a damaging experience for the child; furthermore, that teen’s display of discontent during class will not be conducive to the training environment that they are in with other students. This is why I do not tolerate negative or lazy attitudes in my school – if a teen displays a sheer distaste of martial arts, I will kindly decline to train that teen. This is not to be harsh – rather, it is to protect the training environment for the vast majority of students who do want to train and who enjoy training. But let’s take the goal of reaching a black belt since we are talking about martial arts here. If they want to earn a black belt, it requires that they don’t give up. If you quit, then no one else can help you reach that goal. This is one of the most important lessons that martial arts training has taught me. I learned that if I want something, then I must follow through, finish, and never give up on the process. I know that if I give up, my goal will remain stagnant. This is a message that I teach them from the very first day that they start martial art classes at my studio. There are going to be things in life that will be very challenging for them to do. They will see that other students who are more advanced than them and will see that certain techniques that I teach require repeated practice. However, when they learn to never give up and keep challenging themselves, they develop the mental and physical strength to overcome challenges and win. The training at my school is made to be challenging and designed to progressively take students through more and more challenges so they can develop the skills to overcome obstacles that they may face and win – ultimately becoming a total winner. I’ve learned how to never give up, which has been a challenge for me as well because there was a time in my life when I would quit even at the slightest sign of defeat or difficultly. I never wanted to face the fact that I might lose.


The truth is that not all champions win the first time they try something. They lose more times than want to before they actually win, but they do one thing that sets them apart from everyone else: they never give up. It’s just like the saying goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Only when you never give up do you become a total winner. That is what I want the students in my program to get. I want them to gain the wisdom of learning how to overcome their fears by never giving up. Learning that not all things come easy in life, but if you continue to persevere and push forward, eventually something great will happen. I want them to have that because school gets tougher as they progress in grade levels, and the challenges don’t end there – especially when they find themselves in college, whether it’s at an Ivy League, a State College or even a community college. They will face new challenges as time goes by because there is no guarantee that life is going to be easy. In order to survive in this world, you need to persevere. I am sure you know that life isn’t all rose gardens and there will be turbulent times, but during those times, the ones who don’t quit are the ones who win and come out on top. In my next lesson, I learned how the habits that we develop ultimately lead us to where we want to go.


Lesson 6 Habits: Learning To Be Consistent and Regimental

Besides being disciplined in the Marine Corps and in Martial Arts, I learned how to create healthy, positive, and productive habits in my life. Martial arts training requires that you are habitual about the training that you do in order to become good and master what you set out to do. Habits come in many different forms, but when it comes to habits, what I like to reiterate to my students in class is from a great author by the name of Stephen Covey and his son Sean. They both wrote the books, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.” What I teach the teens in my program is from the book by Sean, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.” Here is the list that I cover with the teens in my program:

Habit #1: Be Proactive, be the leader of your life!

Habit #2: Begin with the end in mind, start with a plan!

Habit #3: Put first things first, do important things first!

Habit #4: Think “win-win,” find a way that everyone can win!

Habit #5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Listen first, and then talk!

Habit #6: Synergize, work together to do better!

Habit #7: Sharpen the saw, take care of yourself! The reason I teach them these habits is because I’ve realized how powerful habits can become in life. With positive habits, you can live a healthier and more fulfilled life. You will continue to bring and attract what you want in life rather than what you don’t want. Your child will first learn to read and recite them out loud to themselves, and then they work on memorizing them. Once they memorize all 7 habits, I take them though each habit and continue to teach them what each habit means and how they can apply these habits to their life inside my martial art school, at home, and in their academic school life. Now, if you are reading this and feel that your teen might be too resistant to benefit from these habits, rest assured that at first they seem resistant until they develop good habits and see how powerful they are for them. Just image if you were given these habits at a young age; imagine that you understood the power behind them – just think how much further along in life you could be. I know I imagine


this and wonder what kind of a difference these habits would have made in my life if someone would have put me in a program like this. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized that habits are something we first do over and over again and then they become engrained in your lifestyle. Just think about your habits for a second and see if those habits outline your winning success. I want the teens in my program to have powerful and positive habits so they can take them and use them to become that total winner in life that I keep talking about. Give them those habits and see them soar to new heights.


Lesson 7 Self-Talk: The Inner Voice That You Can Never Seem To Ignore

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you are right.” – Henry Ford

If anyone ever tells me that they never talk to themselves, I won’t believe a word they say. We all have inner conversations with ourselves and those conversations, no matter how hard we try, will always ring loud in our ears. What you tell yourself matters more than what anyone else says about you. Now anyone can say something hurtful and mean to us, but what we repeatedly say to ourselves is what we eventually believe to be true. If someone calls you a loser, but you tell yourself that you are a champion, then my friend, you will be a champion. However, if we continue to say negative things to yourself, then those negative beliefs will eventually manifest into your life. Just as the quote by Henry Ford goes, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you are right.” Whatever you believe to be true about yourself will be true. Now, remember my story about having to go to learning disability classes by third grade? Well, everyone around me was telling me that I couldn’t learn, so I started to tell myself that I was dumb and couldn’t learn. Eventually, I started to believe what I said about myself. It wasn’t until I started to tell myself other things over and over again that I started to believe otherwise about myself. It wasn’t until I started taking martial arts classes that I started to see that the negative things I said to myself were NOT true. I started to realize that the words that were traveling through my mind and the inner-conversation that I had with myself was holding me back rather than propelling me forward toward my goal. I started to see that the things I attracted into my life were a product of the self-talk that I had with myself. It was when I started believing in myself that I started to fill my inner-conversations with positive messages and self-talk. Once I made this vital mental shift, I started attracting victories and that winning feeling in my life. Now, today in my program I make sure that we use powerful self-talk to lock in the positive wins in each student’s life. And, the beautiful thing is that the mind doesn’t have to instantly believe what is being said. If you repeat something over and over again, eventually you will believe it because your subconscious mind is a very powerful mechanism.


With repeated messages and self-talk, your subconscious mind grabs hold of it and begins to act in accordance with what you say. So, I have a system put in place that the students take home and use on a daily basis to lock in their powerful messages that will lead them to becoming that total winner I want to see them become. Now, in the last section, I will explain how all this becomes powerful not just for them, but for everyone that they are around.


Lesson 8: Leadership: The Way to Help Others Become a Total Winner

Where would the world be without leaders? There is no such thing as a perfect leader, and yes, there are individuals who have been known to abuse their positions as leaders, but a leader who has a pure heart and good intentions can inspire others to do the same. We all want our children to grow up and become the type of leader who maintains a pure heart and always has good intentions. Whether they are simply a leader in their own life or in the lives of others, we want only the best for our children. As your partner in this process, I want the very best for them as well. That is why I teach a very thorough and systemized leadership course for the students. They first realize how to become a leader in their own life so they can lead others, but having the character trait of leadership is highly sought after by everyone in life. In the leadership course that I teach the students, they learn what a leader is, how to be a good leader, and how to lead others by first leading themselves based on the previous lessons written about in this book. Leadership is a huge course on itself, but when they start at a young age, they can decide what to do with the powerful skills that they have been learning with martial arts. Leadership is one of the great powerful ones. It has taken me far in life by learning how to become a leader in my own life and then how to lead others in a very positive way. I am hoping that I can share the wisdom I have gained from leadership with your child so they can have the same qualities. If you think of the great leaders in life, I want your child to be respected and thought of as one as well.


Final Note I have covered eight lessons that martial arts has provided in my life. There are many others, but these are the most powerful ones I wanted to share with you. If you’d like your teen to get this from our program, then give us a call at 916-983-3604 today and talk to the studio manager Rose to see how we can help you take the next steps. However, I urge you to please understand that my program is a higher-learning environment and not just a place to play a sport or do another physical activity. I want them to gain more than just learning another “sport.” True martial arts is not about sports, it’s about personal growth. My students have fun as they learn real martial arts, and they enjoy themselves along the way, but I don’t want to mislead you to believe all I teach is Martial Arts in this program. I teach them life skills and character traits that most parents what their children to learn. Sincerely, Master Jason Froehlich Folsom Martial Arts Center 25075 Blue Ravine Road, Ste. 130 Folsom, CA 95630 916-983-3604

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