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Transcript of Another Year Screenplay
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ANOTHER YEAR
A lm by
Mike Leigh
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Title: SPRING
A big close-up. A middle-aged WOMAN. She is in pain. Shewears no make-up.
Another woman speaks, out of vision. We will discover that
she is a DOCTOR.
DOCTORSo how long's this been going onfor?
WOMANI don't know.
DOCTORA few weeks?
WOMANA long time.
DOCTORA year?
(Pause)
WOMANI suppose so.
DOCTORA whole year? You've taken yourtime to come and see me, haven'tyou?
WOMANYou think it's going to stop,don't you?
DOCTORRight, I'm just going to take
your blood pressure. Can you popyour arm on the desk for me?
(The close-up ends. From here on in, the shots vary.)
(The WOMAN puts her arm on the desk.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)There you go. Can you straightenit up, and push up your sleeve?
(The WOMAN does so.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)Are you dozing in the daytime?
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WOMANSometimes, so I just needsomething to help me sleep.
DOCTORI know. How much sleep are yougetting at night?
(She wraps the cloth around the womans arm.)
WOMANI'm not getting any, am I? That'sthe problem - that's why I'mhere.
DOCTOR
I understand, sweetheart. Okay...it's just going to go tight.
(She pumps up the apparatus. The measure rises in thegauge. Tense, the WOMAN breathes heavily. The DOCTORremoves the cloth.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)Have you got any particular
worries at the moment?
(The WOMAN vaguely shakes her head.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)No financial problems?
WOMANNo. I dunno what that's got to do
with it.
DOCTORWhat about at home? How arethings with husband?
(The WOMAN doesnt reply. The DOCTOR gets up, moves roundthe WOMAN, and stands behind her with her stethoscope. Wesee that the DOCTOR is pregnant, and black.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)Okay, if you could just leanforward for me and take a fewdeep breaths, in through your
mouth.
(She does so; the DOCTOR listens to her back.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)And again.
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(More breathing.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)Ts lovely and clear.
(The DOCTOR returns to her desk.)
DOCTOR (CONTD)Have you got any kids?
WOMANYes.
DOCTORAre they still at home with you?
WOMANSon is. Works with his Father.
Daughter's left - only see herwhen she wants something.
DOCTORAnd how about you? Have youstarted your menopause?
WOMANYes.
DOCTOREverything okay?
WOMAN(Shrugs. Then - ) So will yougive me some sleeping tablets?
DOCTORMaybe, but it might not solveyour problem.
WOMANGive me a night's sleep, though,
wouldn't it?
DOCTORHow much alcohol are youdrinking?
WOMANI don't drink. My husband drinks.
DOCTORIs that a problem?
WOMANNo.
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DOCTORAre you taking any drugs?Medication...?
WOMAN(Shakes her head)
DOCTORHow about coffee? Are youdrinking a lot to keep awake?
WOMANCoffee - yes.
DOCTORTea?
WOMAN
Yes.
DOCTORWell, we might have to look atthat, mightn't we? (Pause.) Okay.Your blood pressure is slightlyraised, but I'm not overlyconcerned about that at the
moment. But I do want you to havea blood test, just to check yourthyroid. You can make anappointment at reception.Alright?
WOMANYes.
DOCTORNow... I will give you somethingto help you sleep, but justenough for a week.
WOMANWhat good's that?
DOCTORInsomnia isn't a disease.Sleeping tablets won't make it goaway. We need to find the cause.Now you're obviously anxious, anda little depressed; so I want youto come back, and speak to ourcounsellor.
WOMANWhat for?
DOCTORI think she'd be able to helpyou.
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WOMANBut you'll give me theprescription now?
DOCTORYes. But will you see the
counsellor? I think it will doyou some good. You think about itfor a moment.
(The WOMAN looks anxious, as the DOCTOR enters data ontoher computer.)
Pouring rain. A middle-aged couple scuttle out of a
reasonably large Edwardian semi-detached suburban house,loading gardening equipment into the back of a large Volvoestate car. They drive off.
An allotment. It has stopped raining. The couple are TOMand GERRI. He has a beard, straggly hair and spectacles.She has long hair. Both are informal and alternative indemeanour and attire.
TOM is turning over soil with a spade. He stops, and joinsGERRI, who is planting.
GERRIDon't do your back in.
TOMI know. It doesn't get anyeasier. Job for a younger man,this.
GERRI
Joe used to love it here.
TOMDid you speak to my son and heir?
GERRII left him a message on hisanswer-phone. (She plants aplant.)
TOMIt's going to rain again.
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More heavy rain. TOM and GERRI are sitting in their nearbyshelter on the allotment, sipping mugs of tea. They share ajoke. They look happy and contented.
Clear, bright weather. A train passes a Land-Rover, whichdrives across a barren piece of wasteland by the RiverThames. A motor barge on the water; the cityscape in thedistance. The car circles a drilling rig, and stops.
TOM gets out of the passenger seat, wearing a hard hat, asuit and tie, and a yellow safety jacket. He and a young
male colleague, who has been driving, walk over to the rig.Two men are laying out a long metal tube on a bench.
TOM (CONTD)Alright, then?
WORKERAlright, boss.
TOM'S COLLEAGUEWhat you got? You hit rock, then?
WORKERYeah - we just gone through. Thisis the fourth, so I reckon, what?... Seventeen-and-a-half, give or
take.
TOM'S COLLEAGUESeventeen and a half? (To TOM)It's got to be a scour hollow.
TOMProbably.
(The other WORKER joins them.)
TOM'S COLLEAGUE
Alright, Mick?
MICKAlright?
TOMHello.
(MICK helps the first WORKER, who unscrews a small sectionat one end of the tube.)
TOM (CONTD)How long will it take us to getback?
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TOM'S COLLEAGUETwenty-five, with traffic. Areyou hungry?
TOMI am.
TOM'S COLLEAGUEGood.
FIRST WORKERThere you go.
(He has removed the section. He holds it out to TOM, whoscrapes off a small sample of muddy clay with his fingers.He inspects it for a second.)
TOM
(cheerfully) Yes! London clay!Thank you!
TOM'S COLLEAGUEThanks, Andy - See you!
ANDYCheers!
TOMTa ta.
(TOM and his colleague get into the car and drive off, asANDY and MICK get on with the job.)
A large industrial shed. Long tables. Techniciansinspecting and logging sample of clay, etc. TOMS COLLEAGUEunwraps such a sample. He examines a small piece of clay
with a megnifier. TOM looks on.
TOM'S COLLEAGUE
Dusting of mica.
TOMLet's have a look.
(TOMS COLLEAGUE passes him the sample and the magnifier.)
TOM'S COLLEAGUETs quite nice.
(TOM inspects it, and laughs. Warm, enthusiastic.)
TOMVery nice.
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(His COLLEAGUE is breaking off another chunk of earth. TOMpoints to it.)
TOM (CONTD)It's just a dusting, isn't it?
TOM'S COLLEAGUEYeah.
The Medical Centre. Another small, unsympathetic room.GERRI is counselling JANET, the insomniac from the firstscene.
GERRI
What would you say was thehappiest moment of your life?
JANETWhat d'you mean?
GERRIYour nicest memory. Have a think.
(JANET sits in silence. Miserable and expressionless. GERRIwaits for a while.)
GERRI (CONTD)
When your children were born?Your wedding day?
JANETI don't know.
GERRITake your time.
JANETI can't remember.
GERRICan't, or won't?
JANETMm?
GERRICan't or won't remember?
JANETDon't know what I'm doing here -I don't want to come. Don't wantto talk about my family - whyshould I? None of your business.
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All I need is a good night'ssleep, and nobody's helping me.
GERRIJanet, I want to help you -that's why we're here. I know
it's not easy to talk aboutpersonal things. Suppose the boot
was on the other foot, andsomeone came to you - say, yourdaughter, and said I haven'tbeen sleeping for months. What
would you say to them?
JANETGo to the doctor.
GERRI
What else would you say?
JANETI don't know.
GERRIWhat would you ask her?
JANETIs she eating alright, orsomething like that.
(GERRI looks at her for a few moments.)
GERRIGood. Anything else?
JANETThat all she needed was a coupleof months of proper sleep, andthen that would sort it out.
GERRISort what out?
JANETThe sleeping.
GERRIOkay. (She reflects for amoment.) On a scale of one toten, how happy would you say youare, Janet?
JANETOne.
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JANET (CONT'D)
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GERRIOne. (Slight smile.) I thinkthere's room for improvementthere, don't you? What is the onething that would improve yourlife apart from sleep?
JANETA different life.
GERRIA different life. Change isfrightening, isn't it?
JANETNothing changes.
(Pause.)
A little later. GERRI sees JANET out of the room.
GERRII hope to see you next week,Janet. Same time. I'll be here,but it's up to you. No pressure.Bye.
(JANET walks out of the room without saying anything. GERRIsighs, closes the door, and moves back into the room.)
Later still. Outside GERRIs room. She comes out with aCLIENT, who puts on his cap.
GERRI (CONTD)Bye, bye, Sam.
SAMBye.
(GERRI shuts her door, and crosses the waiting-room.)
GERRILook at you! You look like you'refit to burst.
(She is addressing TANYA, the pregnant doctor we metearlier. They walk along together, GERRI gently touchingTANYAs tummy.)
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TANYAI am fit to burst. Big Boy's
wrestling his way down.
GERRIWell, if he pops out, give me a
shout.
TANYASweetheart, I'll do more thanshout!
(GERRI laughs and goes into an office. An attractive,middle-aged woman with her hair pinned up and wearing a low-cut dress, is sitting at a computer, surrounded by piles offiles. She is wearing reading glasses.)
WOMAN
Hi, Gerri.
GERRIHello, Mary
MARYYou're a sight for sore eyes.
GERRICan you process these for me?(She is carrying some documents.)
MARY
Oh, well, seeing as it's you...
(She takes the documents.)
GERRIHow are you?
MARYI'm... snowed under, to behonest. (She takes off herspectacles.) And I've got aheadache.
GERRIHave you seen the doctor? (MARYlaughs.) Hello, Gemma!
(A young woman is passing her.)
MARYI don't suppose you fancy a drinktonight, do you?
GERRII'd love one.
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MARYOh, great - are you sure?
GERRII've only got an hour.
MARYThat's alright.
GERRITom's cooking supper.
MARYOh, lovely!
GERRII'll see you later.
MARYYeah... Yeah.
(GERRI goes. MARY reflects for a moment, then resumeswork.)
In a busy bar. GERRI and MARY are seated at a table,sharing a bottle of white wine.
MARY (CONTD)Dyou know, Gerri, I've neverbeen with a man who could cook.
GERRIHaven't you?
MARYNo. They could do lots of otherthings. (Laughs.)
GERRI
That doesn't get you fed.
MARYYeah - keeps a girl happy,though. (Giggles.)
GERRIAnd you can't cook.
MARYNo. Well, I can a bit, but it'snot really my thing.
GERRINo, it's not!
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MARYOh - don't remind me about that,Gerri!
(She giggles again. GERRI smiles.)
GERRIYou could put an ad in the paper:Chef wanted.
MARYYeah. Chef-stroke-boyfriendrequired for gorgeous girl - no:mature woman, with cat.(Laughs.) No - matur-ish. Wedon't want to put em off, do we?
(MARY now observes a handsome middle-aged MAN in a suit.
He is standing at the bar, alone, drinking a glass ofwine.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh, it's really lovely the wayyou and Tom do everythingtogether.
GERRIWe're very lucky.
MARYYeah, you are - but you deserve
it: you're both such lovelypeople.
GERRIOops - me halo's slipping!
MARYYeah, Saint Gerri. (Chuckles.)No, but I'm really comfortable
with where I am in my life, asyou know. I've got my lovelylittle garden flat; I've got a
good job; I've got my health,touch wood, I've got myindependence. I haven't gotanybody telling me what to do.I mean, don't get me wrong, it'snot all rosy - I have good daysand bad days like everyone else,don't I? But, hey!!
GERRIAre you going to do somethingabout your garden this year?
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MARYOh Gerri, no - don't remind me,I'm really guilty about that.I've neglected it, haven't I?
GERRI
Yeah, you have.
MARYOh, but yesterday... I was justbrushing my teeth, and I lookedout the window, and I saw thesetwo little daffodils peeping overthe top of the grass. I must getit cut this year.
GERRIYou have to get yourself that
lawn-mower, Mary.
MARYYeah, I know. Couldn't I just geta man in? It wouldn't cost too
much.
GERRIHmm. Gardener-stroke-chef-stroke-boyfriend.
MARY(Laughing) Yeah. Oh, but no... I
don't want to spend too muchmoney at the moment, because I'mgoing to get myself a little car.
GERRIOh, are you?
MARYYeah - I've decided, it's abouttime.
GERRI
It's a big step.
MARYYeah, I know - it's exciting,isn't it? I mean, I've got alittle bit of money - not a lot,but... enough. But it does meanI'm going to have to cut back on
my, you know - shoes, clothes,jewellery, all my little knick-knacky things. But that's alrightbecause I've got loads ofclothes. I mean, my wardrobeisn't big enough.
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In fact I'm not doing anythingthis weekend, so I'm going to getup really early,sort out all my
winter clothes, put em intoplastic bags and shove em underthe bed. (She picks up the wine
bottle, and aims for GERRIsglass.) Can I top you up?
GERRINo, I'm going now, Mary.
MARYOh, aren't you going to help mefinish the bottle?
GERRINo, really.
MARYOh, alright. Well, I think I'mgoing to stay for a little while.
(She pours herself the rest of the wine, and glances at theMAN at the bar.)
MARY (CONTD)How's Joe? Have you heard fromhim this week?
GERRI
No. But I'm sure he's fine.
MARYStill not got a girlfriend?
GERRII've no idea.
MARYHe must have something on the go,a good-looking boy like him.
(GERRI has put on her cape. She gets up, and kisses MARY.)
GERRISee you on Thursday.
MARYOh...
GERRIAnd you're coming for supper onSaturday.
MARYOh, lovely. Thank you, Gerri.Give my love to that lovely Tom.
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MARY (CONT'D)
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GERRII will. You take care.
MARYYeah.
(GERRI goes. MARY prepares to flirt with the MAN at thebar, who for a moment glances in her direction. But almostimmediately, MARYs seductive expression melts to horror,as an attractive YOUNG WOMAN with long, blonde hair and abroad smile arrives, and embraces the man. They kiss on thelips, and MARY looks crestfallen.)
GERRI is enjoying her ample, beautiful back garden. She
tends to a bush, takes a relaxing breath, and goes into herconservatory, where she sprays a plant or two. Then shepicks a leaf, which she sniffs as she enters her expansive,attractive kitchen. She crosses to the stove, where TOM isstirring, He is wearing an apron. She puts her arms roundhim from behind, and snuggles up.
GERRIWhat's for supper?
TOMArrabiata. Are you hungry?
GERRII'm starving.
(TOM stops stirring, and turns to face her.)
TOMHello.
(He kisses her on the lips.)
TOM (CONTD)Have a taste.
(He holds out the wooden spoon.)
GERRII hope it's not too hot.
TOMYou can never tell with chillies.
(They taste the sauce in turn, GERRI first.)
GERRINo...
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TOMNo?
GERRIOh! - it's comin out me ears!
TOMGood. Glass of wine?
(GERRI is getting some plates.)
GERRINo, I've had a couple. Oh, go on -just a smidgeon.
TOMThat's the spirit.
(He pours some red wine. GERRI sets the plates on thetable.)
A few minutes later. They are sitting at the table, eating.
GERRIHow was your day?
TOM
Good. I was out and about;getting my hands dirty. How aboutyou?
GERRIDisappointing. Pass me theparsley.
(He does so.)
TOMNo breakthroughs?
GERRII had my alcoholic teacher inagain.
TOMYeah.
GERRIHe was pissed as a fart.
TOM(Amused) Really?
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GERRI(Smiling) It was very upsetting,actually.
TOMHow did you handle it?
GERRII bought him a double scotch.No, I had to challenge him. Itold him it was up to him.
TOMHow did he take that?
GERRIWell, I don't know. We'll have tosee.
TOMWell, at least he came.
GERRIHmm. Have we heard from Joe?
TOMNo. But I haven't checked myemails.
GERRII'll ring him later. I'd love to
see him.
TOMHe's alright.
(GERRI reflects, maternally.)
An airy room on a busy main street. Traffic noise outside.
Twenty or so chairs, arranged in a square. A few people arewaiting, This is a community law centre.
JOE enters, a young man of around thirty. He is carrying awrapped sandwich and a can of Coke. He addresses an elderlyMAN, who is with a young WOMAN.
JOEMr Gupta?
(MR GUPTA and the WOMAN get up. JOE shakes MR GUPTAshand.)
JOE (CONTD)Joe Hepple. Nice to meet you.
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WOMANI just came with him.
JOE
Ah - good. Just follow me thisway, please.
(He leads them out of the room.)
JOE (CONTD)This way.
An upstairs corridor. They follow him into his tiny,cluttered office.
JOE (CONTD)Excuse the mess. You sit there,Mr Gupta (He moves a chair.)And... (to the WOMAN) ... I'llpop you there.
(He closes the door.)
A little later. JOE is sitting at his desk. He has a letterin his hand.
JOE (CONTD)Okay, now we've opened all theseletters, and I've seen all I needto see for the time being.Obviously, it's a sizeablecorrespondence, and,understandably, Mr Gupta hasn't
exactly been in a position toopen them, seeing as he's been inhospital for the past ten weeks.But, you're looking fit andraring to go, Mr Gupta.
(MR GUPTA has not understood any of this, and turns to hisfriend.)
MR GUPTATieh?
(The WOMAN shakes her head, meaning to say, not to bother.JOE picks up another document.)
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WOMANExcuse me...
JOEMm?
WOMANEr, how long will this take?
JOEOh, not too long.
WOMANEr, its, just, I have to getback to work.
JOEWhat dyou do?
WOMANEr,... restaurant; familybusiness.
JOEOh - tasty.
(She isnt amused.)
JOE (CONTD)Okay. Erm, it's important for MrGupta to understand that at this
point he is in no danger of beingevicted.
(Speaking in Hindustani, the WOMAN explains the situationto a confused MR GUPTA.)
JOE (CONTD)Okay? I'm just going to take youbriefly through whats going tohappen in Court. Erm... I'll berepresenting Mr Gupta on the day.We'll put the case to the judge,
and... (a phone rings) he willagree to adjourn, which will thengive us time to sort things out,okay? So, I'll just... excuse me(He answers the phone.) Hello?
Early on a Saturday evening. MARY puffs on a cigarette,puts it out on the pavement, a scuttles across a busy mainroad.
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Inside TOM and GERRIs front hall. MARY arrives, andknocks. As GERRI come to the door...
GERRI
I'll get it!
TOM(elsewhere) Alright!
(GERRI opens the door. MARY is carrying a potted plant.)
GERRIHello, Mary!
MARYHi, Gerri. It's stopped raining,
thank goodness.
GERRII know. Welcome!
MARY(entering) Oh, thank you. Ibought you a little present -some thyme.
GERRIThat's lovely!
MARYIt's nothing much.
GERRI(taking it) Thank you.
MARYOh, there he is!
TOMHello, love!
(MARY hugs TOM.)
MARYHello, Tom. Oh...! Oh, I'm sorry -I just had to have a cigarette,and I know you don't like thesmell.
TOM(Laughing) Don't be daft!
MARYI'm trying to give up though -aren't I, Gerri?
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GERRIOh, are you?
MARYOnly, I've just had a badexperience on the tube.
TOMAre you alright?
GERRIWhat happened?
MARYThere was this man...
GERRIWhat did he do?
MARYWell, he was lookin at me. I
mean, every time I looked up, hewas lookin at me...
TOMOh, dear.
MARYYeah, it was a bit unsettling, tobe honest.
GERRIWell, you're here now.
MARYExactly. And I'm very happy to behere with both of you.
(She pulls a bottle of wine out of her bag, and gives it toTOM.)
MARY (CONTD)This is for you, Tom.
TOMAh!
MARYIt's nothing special.
TOM(reading the label) Buenos Aires.
MARYYeah, because I thought - well,you went there, didn't you, thetwo of you? Argentina.
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TOMNo, we didn't - no.
GERRINo.
MARYDidn't you?
TOMNo.
GERRITom's been to Brazil. Digging hisholes.
TOMYeah.
MARYOh, I'm so stupid sometimes!
TOMThat's alright.
GERRIThat's fine.
MARYOh, honestly, (She mimes shootingherself in the head.) Oh, what
are you going to do with me, eh?I'm just going to run upstairs -is that alright? I won't be a
minute.
(She hurries upstairs. GERRI repeats MARYs shooting-herself-in-the-head gesture. Amused, TOM and GERRI go intothe kitchen.)
A bit later, in the kitchen. TOM is chopping vegetables atthe table. GERRI is preparing salad. MARY has a glass of
white wine.
MARY (CONTD)I haven't seen you sinceChristmas, Tom.
TOMReally?
(MARY looks at the set table.)
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MARYOh, it's just the three of ustonight.
GERRIYes.
MARYOh, I'm surprised.
GERRII did tell you.
MARYDid you?
GERRIMm.
TOMWe wanted you all to ourselves,Mary.
MARYOh...! Thank you, Tom. That's
what all the boys say.
(TOM looks at her.)
MARY (CONTD)No, I wasn't sure what to wear. I
didn't know if it was going to beone of your lovely big dinnerparties, or just us - you know,casual...
(TOM moves to the sink, next to MARY.)
TOMI think youve got it just aboutright, Mary.
GERRI
You look lovely.
MARYOh, thank you, Gerri. (She yawns)Oh... sorry
GERRIDid you have a late night?
MARYOh.... I stayed up, watching thefilm. I couldn't wake up this
morning. No, but it was lovely,having a lie-in on my day off.
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GERRIWe stayed in.
MARYDid you?
GERRIWe listened to some music.
MARYOh...?
TOMAmongst other things.
(A slightly chilly reaction to this from MARY.)
MARY
I thought Joe might be coming.
TOMI don't think so.
(TOM collects the chopping board from the table.)
GERRIHe's coming tomorrow.
MARYOh, that's a shame. I won't seehim. Did Gerri tell you about me
getting a car, Tom?
TOMYes.
MARYWhat dyou think?
TOMExciting. Whatre you gonna get?
MARY
Well, I dunno.... er, somethingsmall and.... red.
TOMSmall and red? Well, that narrowsit down.
MARYYeah.
GERRII hope you're hungry, Mary.
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MARYOh, I'm starving, Gerri. You know
me.
GERRIWe'll have to fatten you up.
MARYOh, it's lovely having yourdinner cooked for you. You don'treally bother when you're byyourself, do you? I don't,anyway.
TOMYou're looking well.
MARY
Oh, thank you, Tom!
GERRIYou're nice and slim.
MARYAm I? Well, I've always beenslim, haven't I?
GERRIUnlike me. Middle-aged spread.(She pinches her spare tyre.)
TOMShut up! You're perfect -gorgeous in every way. (He kissesher on the cheek.) And you knowit!
(Pause. TOM makes salad dressing. GERRI smiles at MARY, whois looking a little bleak. She manages a half-smile, andfinishes her wine.)
GERRISit yourself down, Mary. Help
yourself to another drink.
(MARY sits at the table. GERRI squeezes TOMs arm.)
GERRI (CONTD)Hows that dressing coming along?
TOMAs well as can be expected.
(TOM gets on with it. GERRI stirs a pot on the stove. MARYpours herself another drink, and continues to look bleak.)
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Later, in the living room. Dark outside. GERRI and MARY aresitting, side by side, on the sofa. TOM is sitting ion a
armchair, facing them. All have glasses of wine on the go,but only MARY is fairly drunk.
MARYI hear you're going to theEmerald Isle again, Tom.
TOMThat's correct. Rent a cottage,take the car.
GERRI
Put the tent in the back.
TOMAnd the sleeping-bags. If the
weather's nice we might do a bitof camping.
MARYOh, no! I wouldn't fancy sleepingin a tent, thank you very much.
TOMNo, I never had you down as one
of nature's Girl Guides, Mary.
MARYNo, Tom! But I am alwaysprepared. (Laughs)
GERRIYes, but what for?
MARYFor anything, Gerri. You know me!(Laughs)
GERRI(Chuckling) Yes, I do!
MARYI'm not going to get a holidaythis year. But then, I never do,do I, Gerri? Because I haven'tgot anyone to go with. It'salright for you two - you've goteach other.
GERRIWe're going to the Ring of Kerry.
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MARYThe what?
TOMThe Ring of Kerry. It's an area.
GERRITralee, Dingle Bay...
MARYOh, lovely - you've been therebefore, haven't you?
GERRIThat was Donegal.
MARYOh.
TOMThe geologist stands on the beach
with his back to the sea, andlooks at the cliffs.
GERRIWhilst the geologist's wifestands on the beach with her backto the cliffs, looking at thesea.
(MARY ponders this hazily, then - )
MARYYou see, I can't afford to buy mycar and have a holiday. But, if Ihad more money, then I could doboth.
TOMBut when you've got your car,Mary, you'll be able to go
wherever you want, veryreasonably.
MARYExactly, Tom. That's exactly whyI'm getting it. You see, I likejust taking off and escaping,don't I, Gerri?
GERRIMm.
MARYI feel like I'm being somebodyelse.
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TOMReally? Who's that, then?
GERRITom!
(TOM grins. GERRI cant conceal a smile.)
MARYI like to get on the train... Butyou see, the car is cheaper thanthe train, isn't it?
GERRINot environmentally.
MARY
Oh, what? You mean... (she stampsher feet.) Those are my carbonfootprints, Gerri. (Giggles.)
GERRIYes, I know.
(MARY laughs uproariously.)
TOMFinancially, cars are cheaper.That's why there's no incentiveto go by train.
GERRIWhat about the airlines?
TOMNo government wants to increasethe duty on aviation fuel.
MARY(vaguely) No.
TOM
And this government won't investin the railways, so anything wedo is a piss in the ocean.
MARYAbsolutely.
GERRIAnd then there's the bigcorporations, who keep theirlights on all night in emptyoffice blocks.
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TOMAnd we're all expected to do ourbit with eco-bulbs.
MARYI know. Should I stop recycling
then, Gerri?
GERRINo.
TOMYou've got to set an example.
MARYYeah.
GERRI
Plant a few tomatoes.
TOMOr courgettes.
(GERRI laughs quietly.)
MARYI am very environmentallyfriendly, actually.
TOMAre you?
MARYYeah. I don't fly. I don't livein a house that's more than Ineed. I don't cook.
TOMOther people cook for you,though.
MARYWho?!
TOMYou get take-aways, don't you?
MARYThat doesn't count. Everybodygets take-aways. You've built
whole motorways, Tom. Howenvironmentally friendly is that?
TOMExactly!
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MARYYes! Cars, more cars, morecars... At least, I'm buying anold car.
GERRI
Recycled.
MARYYeah!
TOMYet we're constantly told thatthe measure of a thriving economyis the sale of new cars.
MARYYes, but, Tom... If I buy a new
car, that's another car.
TOMYou're absolutely right, Mary.And would you like some coffee?
(MARY blinks vaguely. Then - )
MARYNo, thank you.
GERRII'd like my usual.
In the kitchen, TOM stirs the coffee in the cafetiere, andwaits for it to brew.
Meanwhile, in the living-room, MARY strokes GERRIs arm.
MARYAre you alright, Gerri?
GERRIYes, Mary, I'm fine. How are you?
(MARY reflects, exuding drink and sadness. Then - )
MARYI'm happy!
GERRIGood.
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MARYI just wanted to say, that if youever need to share anything, I'mhere for you. I'm a very goodlistener.
GERRIThank you, Mary. But I'm fine.
MARYYeah, I know.
(Pause. Then MARY throws her arms tightly around GERRI,who is a little taken aback, though she doesnt show it toMARY.)
GERRIIt's very kind of you, Mary.
(Staying in the clinch, MARY turns her head, so that sheand GERRI are now cheek-to-cheek.)
MARYOh, Gerri! Everybody needssomeone to talk to, don't they?
GERRIYes, Mary, they do.
(MARY breaks the embrace.)
MARYOh, well... Onwards and upwards!
GERRIYou'd better stay the night.
MARYNo.... no.
GERRIWell, I think you should.
MARY(saluting) Alright, Gerri -you're the boss.
GERRIWe'll find you a t-shirt again.
MARYWill you?
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Upstairs, on the landing. GERRI comes out of the bathroom,holding a towel and a new toothbrush.
GERRII've found you a toothbrush.
(MARY is sitting on the stairs.)
MARYI sometimes wonder what he'sdoing; if he thinks about me - Ibet he does.
GERRIHow old was he?
MARYHe'll be sixty-four now.
(TOM is at the top of the stairs.)
TOMSixty-four? Blimey, he's olderthan me!
GERRIAlmost a pensioner.
TOMHe'll be past it now, Mary - giveus your hand.
(MARY takes his hand, and he helps her up.)
MARYOh.... no, Tom.... he was lovely.
GERRIWell, we all grow old.
(MARY leans unsteadily on the bannister rail. She lowersher voice.)
MARYOh, no, but... he was very, very,sexy Gerri - d'you know what I
mean?
TOMToo much information!
(This amuses GERRI.)
MARYI bet he regrets it, deep down. Ihope he does. (She leans in adoorway.) He was my big love. Buthe was married.
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Well, what can you do, Tom? Youcan't walk around with a labelsaying, Don't fall in love with
me, I'm married, can you?
(She has now staggered to TOM at the bathroom door.)
TOMSome people wear a ring. (Hedisplays his.)
MARYHe didn't. But he wasn't a badperson. He loved me.
TOMSounds to me like he was aduplicitous shit.
GERRITom!
(TOM and GERRI exchange a look.)
MARYDyou think it was my fault, Tom?
TOMNo, I don't, Mary. Honest.
GERRI
It takes two to tango.
(MARY staggers back to GERRI, and holds her hands. TOMraises his eyebrows, and closes the bathroom door behindhim.)
MARYOh, so you think it was my fault,Gerri?
GERRII didn't say that.
MARYNo, I know you didn't, really.
(Now she leans on the doorway of JOEs bedroom.)
MARY (CONTD)I blame my big heart.
GERRIWell, we all have to makechoices, don't we?
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MARYWhy do I always get it wrong,Gerri? I mean, look what happened
when I got divorced from thatshit! I let him palm me off withfive thousand nothing pounds. And
what am I left with now? Sod all!I'm living in a poky rented flat
when I should have my own home atmy age. It's not fair!
(She is fraught. She turns around, staggers into the room,and collapses onto the bed, face down.)
MARY (CONTD)Bastard!
(GERRI proceeds to put her to bed.)
A little later. TOM and GERRI are sitting up in bed,reading books. Pause. GERRI closes her book, and takes offher spectacles.
GERRIMy goodness!
TOM
Mm?
GERRIShe gets worse.
TOMI know. Desperate.
(GERRI puts away her book and spectacles and turns off herbedside light.)
GERRI
I feel a bit guilty.
TOMWhat?
GERRIWell, you know.
TOMNo....
(GERRI lies down next to TOM. He puts his arm around her.)
GERRINo. You're right.
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TOMI don't think I really enjoyedHistory at school.
GERRIDidn't you?
TOMMaybe I did.
TOM (CONTD)It's just that the older you getthe more relevant it seems. (Heputs his book and spectaclesaway.) To state the bleedinobvious.
GERRIWe'll be a part of History, soon.
TOMExactly.
(GERRI laughs.)
Next morning. Clear, Spring weather. TOM is outside hishouse. Just as he opens the tail-gate of his car, JOEarrives on his bicycle. He is wearing a cyclists safetyhelmet.
TOM (CONTD)Aha!
JOEAha!
TOM
(funny voice) What are you doing,riding on the pavement, youngman?
JOE(Alighting) I'm breaking the law,officer.
TOMEy, up!
JOEHiya!
(They embrace for a moment.)
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TOMHow longd it take you?
JOEAbout an hour.
TOMAre you knackered?
JOEI'm ready for bed.
TOMLate night?
JOEHangover. Dyou want a hand?
TOMYes, please.
JOEI'll stick this away.
TOMAlright.
(As he carries his bike towards the side door of the house,GERRI and MARY appear at the front door. At first, MARYdoesnt see JOE.)
MARYOh, he's back. That was quick,Tom. Did you get the manure?
TOMCompost.
MARYHere's Joe!
JOEHi, Mary.
MARYHello, Joe. What a surprise.
(JOE kisses MARY on her cheek.)
JOEAre you alright?
MARYI'm great. How are you - oh,continental! (JOE has kissed heron the other cheek.) Oh, he's allsweaty! (She strokes JOEscheek.)
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JOEI've been riding all morning.
MARYHave you? I like your hat.
GERRIAha!
JOEAha!
(They hug.)
MARYAh, that's right.... never forgetto kiss your mum!
JOEI never do.
MARYNo - you're a good boy, aren'tyou?
JOEYeah.
(GERRI joins TOM at the car.)
MARY
I remember when you were thisbig. You were a naughty boy.
(JOE unlocks the side door.)
JOEI still am, from time to time.
MARYOh, really?
JOE
I like your coat.
MARYOh, thank you. I think I'm a bitover dressed for a Sunday morning- what dyou think?
(She opens her coat briefly.)
JOEIs that what you wore in bed?
(He puts his bike inside. MARY joins him.)
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MARYI slept in your bed, actually -is that alright?
JOEAs long as you cleaned the
sheets!
MARYNo, I didn't actually - is that aproblem?
JOEWe'll have to wait and see, won't
we?
MARYOh, right. Oh, sorry, Tom! I'm in
your way.
(TOM is passing her with a bag of compost. MARY follows JOEinto the street, giggling.)
MARY (CONTD)All these strong men!
(JOE passes her with another bag of compost.)
Look at his muscles. (She feelsJOEs arm.)
GERRIThat's why we had him!
(MARY giggles. TOM and JOE join the women on the pavement.)
MARYAlright, well.... I'm off, then.
TOMYou don't want a lift to thestation?
MARYOh, no, it's alright.
TOMAre you sure?
MARYYeah, I'll be fine. I could do
with a walk.
GERRIYeah.
MARYSorry about.... you know....
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GERRIIt's okay.
TOMIt was good to see you.
MARYOh, thank you, Tom.
GERRIAre you alright?
MARYYeah; you know... Had a bit of a
wild night, Joe. (Pause.) Well,I'd best be off.
(She glances over her shoulder, away from the others, at
the horror of the lonely, empty day ahead of her.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh - thanks for saving me thatbreakfast, Gerri. It was reallydelicious!
GERRIYou're very welcome, Mary.
MARYYeah. It's lovely to see you,Joe. I'll see you soon, I hope -
yeah?
JOESee you soon.
MARYYeah, hopefully. (Pause) Well,have a lovely day together, allof you.
TOMRight. Ta-ta, then.
MARYYeah.... bye.
(She walks off.)
MARY (CONTD)See you on Tuesday, Gerri.
GERRIBye, Mary. Take care!
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MARY(Over her shoulder) Bye. Bye,Joe!
JOEBye.
MARYBye!
TOMBye!
(TOM and JOE unload more bags. After some distance, MARYglances round at them for the last time. Then shedisappears.)
GERRI pushes a wheelbarrow through the allotments. Passinga man hoeing, she joins TOM and JOE at their patch, andsets down the barrow.
GERRIThere you go.
JOEDelicious!
GERRIPresent for you.
(JOE empties the wheelbarrow of compost. TOM is working ina kneeling position.)
JOEMatt's getting married.
GERRIOh, Matthew!
TOMOh, is he? Matt with the guitar?
JOENo, that's Paul.
TOMOh - Matt. Yeah.
GERRIThats great!
TOMHave you met the young lady inquestion?
JOEI certainly have.
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TOMIs she worthy of him?
JOENo, they hate each other.
GERRIYou mean, is he worthy of her?
TOMOh! Beg your pardon, MrsPankhurst!
(GERRI laughs)
TOM (CONTD)Where's the stag-do this time?Buenos Aires?
JOENo, Dublin.
GERRIOoh, lovely.
TOMAnother capital city brought toits knees!
JOEWell, we'll try and leave it as
we find it.
GERRIWhen are you going?
JOEJuly - the wedding's August.
GERRILovely. I'll make some tea.
(She goes towards the shed. The men continue to work.)
TOM and GERRI sit side by side in their shed. JOE stands.GERRI pours mugs of tea from a large Thermos flask.
GERRI (CONTD)So, when is it going to be yourturn?
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JOEA week on Wednesday.
GERRIOh - you didn't say.
JOEI didn't want to spoil thesurprise.
TOMI knew.
GERRIOh, no! I haven't bought a hat!
(Pause. They drink.)
GERRI (CONTD)Any news? Nobody...?
JOENo. Still quiet on that front.
(TOM gives GERRI a gently sardonic look.)
GERRIWhat...?
(They both smile. But JOE gazes reflectively into thedistance.)
FADE TO BLACK
Title: SUMMER
A bright, sunny day. In a train. An overweight, slightlydishevelled , middle-aged man staggers down the carriage,
carrying two cans of lager an a bag of potato crisps. Hisattention is caught briefly by a young woman, who passeshim going the other way. Arriving at his window seat, he isobliged to disturb a grumpy, middle-aged woman.
He is KEN.
KENSorry, love. Excuse me.
(The woman gets up for him, and he sits down. Debris fromprevious food and beer is on the table. He opens a beer,and takes a swig. Then he starts on the crisps.)
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TOM and GERRIs front door, from the inside. KENs figureappears, through the frosted glass. He knocks vigorously.TOM sprints out of the kitchen, followed by GERRI.
TOM(half-singing) Who's that a-knocking at my door?
(He opens the door.)
KENIt's only me!
TOMBugger off!
KENHello, Tom, mate!
(They hug each other.)
KEN (CONTD)Hiya, Gerri, love!
GERRIHi, Ken! How are you?
KENI'm alright!
(He hugs GERRI.)
GERRIOh - crushed ribs!!
KENOh, sorry!
TOMGive us your bag.
(He takes it.)
KENI'm bursting for a pee. I'll justrun upstairs - is that alright?
(He goes upstairs, followed by TOM.)
TOMI'll put it on your bed. You'rein Joe's room.
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Moments later, TOM goes downstairs.
More moments later... KEN comes into the kitchen, takingoff his overcoat.
KENOoh, that's better. I neededthat!
TOMI'll take your coat.
KENThanks, mate.
(TOM hangs the coat up in the hall.)
KEN (CONTD)Gerri!!
(He hugs her again.)
GERRI(laughing) Careful, Ken! Wouldyou like a beer?
KEN
Oh, I'd love one - ta!
(TOM leaps onto KENs back, so that KEN is giving him apiggy-back. They rotate exuberantly for a few moments,laughing and whooping, Then KEN puts TOM down. GERRI givesKEN a beer. She and TOM pick up glasses of wine.)
GERRIManiacs.
(They all laugh.)
A bit later, at the kitchen table. The three of them areeating supper and drinking wine. KEN also has a beer on thego.
KEN has his jacket off, and his shirt open at the collar,though he still has on his tie, very loosely. He muncheshis food urgently, grunting.
KENIt's great, this.
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GERRIThank you.
TOMBetter?
KENI haven't eaten since breakfast.
GERRI(unconvinced) Haven't you?
KENNo. It's great to see you both!Cheers!
TOMCheers!
GERRICheers!
(They clink glasses. TOM and GERRI chuckle together,gently. KEN gulps down his wine, and returns to his plate.)
GERRI (CONTD)So how's your flat, Ken?
KENOh, same old, same old.
GERRIYou employed a cleaner yet?
KENIf I got a cleaner in there,she'd turn around and walkstraight out again.
TOMYou never know - it might giveher a purpose in life.
KENIt's a bit of a mess but it suitsme.
GERRIYeah.
KENFive minutes walk to work. Iusually get the bus, but... ifI'm late, I have to leg it, if I
miss the bus. I stop at the caff,pick up breakfast; I have acroissant if they haven't got anyiced buns. Cup of tea.
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I have to smuggle it in. This ladSteve, he's a right fascist.
TOMThat's your boss, isn't it?
KENYeah, my boss. My supervisor.
GERRIIs he still there?
KENOh, yeah. He's only been with usthree - no, two years. Thirty-five, looks twelve, treats melike a child. Bloody graduate!
TOMYou're a graduate.
GERRIWe're all graduates, aren't we?
KENOh, yeah. So we are!
GERRIYou forgot. Would you like somesalad, Ken?
KENNo, no, I'm alright - ta.
GERRISure.
KENMm. I mean, you spend nearlyforty years trying to get peopleout of the dole queue and intojobs. What thanks do you get? I'msick of it!
TOMAt your age you could walk away,couldn't you?
KENI dunno...
TOMYouve got a good retirementpackage; index-linked pension.
KENI couldve walked away two yearsago.
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KEN (CONT'D)
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TOMWhy didn't you?
GERRIWell, it's not that easy, is it?
TOMIsn't it?
GERRIWhat would you do with your timeif you retired, Ken?
KENPub. Eat, drink, be merry. Idon't know.
(He takes a large swig of wine. TOM and GERRI exchange
glances.)
How's Joe?
GERRIHe's fine.
TOMHe's well, yeah.
GERRIYou'll see him on Sunday.
KENOh, great. Has he got agirlfriend?
GERRINo, I don't think so.
TOMNot that we know of
KENWho else is coming to the
barbecue?
TOMJack and Janey...
GERRITanya, a GP from work.
TOMMary.
KENOh, Mary. Is she?
(GERRI looks at TOM.)
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TOMAnd then, of course, there'syourself, sir. The guest ofhonour!
GERRI
Hooray!
KEN(Laughing) Oh, I don't know aboutthat!
(Pause.)
TOMWhat else you been up to?
KEN
Oh, nothing much. Oh - oh, no -hey! Guess where I went, theother week.
TOMWhere?
KENHull versus Derby.
TOM(Laughing) Who dyou cheer for?
KENDerby, of course!
TOMDid you?
KENI had to keep quiet - I got stuck
with the Hull mob.
TOMWas there 'owt worth cheering?
KENNo, it were crap.
TOMI don't think my brother ever
missed one home game.
KENNo. Me and me dad used to stand
with him on the terraces.
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GERRIHe always used to leave Carl atyour mum's on a Saturdayafternoon. Do you remember?
KEN
Oh, yeah.
GERRIYou could hear the roar of thecrowd from your front room,couldn't you?
TOMCourse you could; it's only threestreets away.
KEN
Our house used to shake.
TOMOurs did. They all did. Duringthe Clough Glory Years, we wereat the centre of the footballinguniverse.
GERRIYou never went!
TOMI did occasionally. I wasn't
manic, like him. (IndicatingKEN.) I don't think Ronnie canafford to go now, the price ofseason tickets.
KENHow is Ronnie? I haven't seen himfor years.
TOMHe's seventy now, you know.
KENIs he?
GERRICarl's forty-one.
KENBloody hell!
TOMLinda's still working.
GERRIShe's kept him all his life.She's worn out, poor woman.
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KENIs Carl still the same?
TOMAs far as we know. Very sad.
GERRILinda's heartbroken.
TOMSos Ronnie.
GERRIHe's cut himself off.
KENI used to have a drink withRonnie. When my dad was in the
home, I'd go down to Derby. Hewas always in the pub.
TOMYep! That's one of the advantagesof being free from the tyranny ofregular employment.
KENYeah, he never bought a round.
TOMAre you accusing my brother of
being a mean bastard?
KENYeah, I am!
TOMYou're right, he is!
KENI know!
(They all laugh. KEN takes a swig of beer from the can.)
Later. Its now dark. The three are sitting in TOM andGERRIs garden. KEN takes a swig from yet another can ofbeer. He is smoking a cigarette, and he is drunk.
KEN (CONTD)I mean, I... you get to a certainage... I can't go to the places Iused to; they don't like oldfogies.
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TOMYou don't have to go there.
KENYeah, but they're my pubs.
TOMNot any more, they're not.
KENExcept they're not like pubs now.They're all poncy bars.
TOMExactly. Things change.
KENWhen I started at work we'd all
socialise together. On a Fridaynight everybody would go to thepub for a drink. Go for a curry.But now....
GERRIIt's hard, isn't it?
KENI mean, who would I go on holiday
with? There's nobody, let's faceit! The only time I went onholiday was with Pam... Spain.
Nightmare.
TOMDidn't you go away with Andrea?
GERRINo, she went off with her sister.You remember.
TOMOh, yeah.
KENStood me up, the bitch.
TOMIt leaves a nasty taste, doesn'tit?
KENGirls in bikinis covered withsuntan oil. Boys flexing their
muscles on the beach. No, it'snot for me.
TOM(Laughing) Oh, I don't know!
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GERRI(Laughing) Sounds nice. You couldtry a cultural holiday.
(TOM raises his eyebrows)
KENNo, I'm not one for culture.
TOMPub culture!
KENYoung people, young people.Everything's for young people!These bars, you know, they'refull of young people shoutingabout nothing.
TOMI seem to remember you got bannedfrom a number of pubs in Hull forshouting about nothing. When you
were a young person.
KEN(Laughing) Yeah... right.Ken: we like you. You're a goodbloke, you're good on the darts.But if you talk about politicsagain, you're barred.
(They all laugh.)
KEN (CONTD)No, but these kids. They're justbloody noisy.
GERRIIsle of Wight festival, 1968. We
were noisy, weren't we?
TOM
We weren't - he was.
GERRI(To TOM) You were noisy.
TOM(To GERRI) You were noisy.
GERRII know I was noisy. Remember'Plastic Penny'?
KENPlastic Penny...
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GERRIWhere are they now?
TOMYou fancied Plastic Penny.
(GERRI laughs)
TOM (CONTD)It's the young person'sprerogative to be noisy.
KENYeah, I know, I know. It's all myown fault. I'm not meeting theright people. I'm stuck in a rut.
GERRI
It's not your fault, Ken.
TOMYou are stuck in a rut. That's
why you can't face retirement.
KENYeah, I know. (Pause.) I'mdreading getting on that trainSunday night. I always do.
GERRIWhy?
KENI know what I'll be thinking.There's nothing for me in Hullanymore. Except my job. Most of
my friends have gone.
TOMHit you hard when Gordon died,didn't it?
GERRI
And his wife.
TOM(To GERRI) She gone?
GERRI(To TOM) Yes!
KENOh, yeah, they're both gone, now.Funnily enough, I was thinkingabout him on the way down. Ilooked out the window, somewherein Lincolnshire.... I saw thisfucking tree. It re...
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(He starts to cry) It reminded meof his funeral.
(He breaks down.)
GERRI
Oh, Ken! Ken, Ken!
(She gets up, puts her arms round him, and cradles him.)
GERRI (CONTD)Come on...
KENGerri, I'm sorry.
GERRIIt's alright.
KENSorry...
GERRIIt's alright, don't worry.
KENI'm sorry, Tom. I'm sorry.
(TOM looks on, a little helpless and in pain.)
In her bedroom, GERRI looks in the mirror, and combs herlong, grey hair.
TOM and KEN have moved to the end of the back garden. TOMsways gently on JOEs old swing, while KEN, who has sobered
up a bit, sits near him, smoking a cigarette.
TOMHowre you doin?
KENI feel like shit.
TOMYou look like shit.
(KEN laughs.)
55.
KEN (CONT'D)
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TOM (CONTD)Apart from that, how are youdoing?
KENI still feel like shit.
(TOM laughs.)
TOMI'll race you to the top.
KENWhat?
TOMSnake Pass - I'll race you.
KEN(Laughing) Oh, yeah.
TOMWhen was the last time you sat ona bike?
KEN1896. Penny Farthing.
(TOM laughs.)
TOM
I tell you what. You and me,we'll walk... from Edale toMatlock Bath. Take as long as ittakes. Stay in nice pubs alongthe way. What dyou reckon?
KENI tell you what: I'll stay in thepubs, you do the walking.
TOMBugger that! You're carrying the
bags!
(They both laugh.)
TOM (CONTD)How about it? Serious. We'll goin the Autumn.
(Silence)
TOM (CONTD)Whatre we going to do with you,then, eh? You can't go on likethis, that's for sure.
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(Pause.)
The next morning. A bright, Summers day. Blue sky. Staticclouds. An electric pylon on the distant horizon.
GERRI strolls contentedly through the allotments. Shecarries a large basket. She arrives at her plot, and stops.She closes her eyes, enjoying the sun and the gentle breezeon her face.
Meanwhile, four men pull their caddies across a golf course- JOE, TOMs friend JACK (a genial, middle-aged fellow),TOM and KEN. Tall residential tower blocks in the distance.
JACKSo, is it every man for himself,or are we having teams?
JOETeams.
TOMIf I may make so bold, I would
suggest that the best plays withthe worst, Jack.
JOEGood idea.
TOMIn other words, you're with Ken.
JACKThanks. It's me and you, Ken! Isthere anything on it?
TOMBottle of wine.
JACKYou're on.
Now, under an expansive sky, they have parked their caddiesat the first tee. They prepare to play. Jack holds up acoin.
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JACK (CONTD)Are you ready?
KENYeah.
TOMYeah, go on.
(JACK drops the coin.)
JACKIt's you.
(They all laugh.)
TOMShall I kick off?
JOEYeah, you take the honour.
(TOM gets out his golf club.)
TOMSo, this father and son team.
JOEThe Double Hepple...
TOM
Yes, take on these unknownmavericks...
JACKThat's us, Ken!
KENGood luck, Tom!
TOMAnd good luck to you, Mo. (Heshakes KENs hand.) Can I just
say what a great pleasure it isto be playing with you onceagain?
JOEYeah, yeah. Watch and learn, Ken.
JACKThere's wine on it.
TOMRight. (He places his ball.) Off
we go.
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(He prepares to tee off. He has a practice swing. They allwatch him. Suddenly, just as he is about to hit the ball,KEN does a very loud mock sneeze, putting his handkerchiefto his nose. He roars with laughter and runs off. TOM dropshis club, and runs after him, mock-hitting him as he goes.)
TOM (CONTD)I knew it! I knew you were goingto do that! All my life I've hadto put up with this nonsense fromyou, and I'm not going to have itany longer!
(They disappear over the horizon. JACK takes a shotinstead.)
A bit later. KEN is urinating behind a bush.
JOEDon't scare the wildlife, Ken!
TOMHow many times a night do you go?
KEN(emerging) I lose count.
JACKYouve got to get it sorted out,Ken.
TOMYeah.
(KEN joins the others, who are playing at the base of anenormous electricity pylon. JACK tees off.)
JACKOh! What a beauty!
TOMLovely!
JACK(To KEN) Good shot, partner!
KENOh, yeah - sorry. Good shot,Jack!
JACKThank you.
(TOM puts his arm round KEN.)
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TOMYou alright?
KEN(Out of breath) Yeah.
(JOE prepares his ball.)
Later. Three long shadows on the putting green - JOEs,TOMs and JACKs. We only see their feet.
JACKYou want it out, Joe?
JOEYep.
(JACK takes the flag out of the hole.)
TOMGood luck, partner.
JOEIt's all down to this.
(He putts the ball. It proceeds directly towards thehole...)
JOE (CONTD)Looks good...
(The ball drops into the hole. They all roar with delight.We see the shadow of TOM shaking JOEs hand.)
Now a small, old red car drives erratically down TOM and
GERRIs street. MARY is at the wheel. She parks clumsily,half on the kerb. She gets out, with her bag and a bottleof wine. She runs to TOM and GERRIs front door. Sheknocks, but gets no reply. She is agitated. She adjusts herhair and her knickers. Then she suddenly realisessomething, and rushes through the side entrance, and intothe back garden.
MARYGerri! Tom!
TOMHa! Here she is!
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GERRIHello, Mary!
(Grouped round a garden table near a barbecue are TOM,GERRI, KEN, JACK and TANYA. GERRI is holding TANYAs baby.The table displays the remains of a meal. TOM is wearing
shorts and his apron. MARY joins them excitedly.)
MARYSorry I'm so late!
TOMWhat happened?
MARYIt's taken me three hours to gethere. I left home at two. I hadto ask a policeman in the end. I
got so lost.
GERRIYou got lost?
MARYYeah, I'm really sorry.
GERRIYou've been here loads of times.
MARYI know.
GERRIYou know the way.
MARYYeah, but I came in my car,Gerri. Oh, God!
TANYAWhat's happened?
MARY
Oh, I'm so stupid! Why do I spoileverything? I wanted it to be asurprise.
TOMYou bought a car?
MARYYeah.
JOEGod help us.
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MARYI got it ever so cheap. I wasreally chuffed with myself,because they wanted seven hundredbut I offered six hundred; but wesettled at six-fifty. But they
were a really nice couple ofguys, though. I think they werebrothers. One of them had a goldtooth.
TOMDid he?
MARYYeah. But, they wanted cash. So Ihad to go to the cash point onWednesday and Thursday and
Friday. So, I couldn't collect ittill after work on Friday. Butthey rang on Friday morning tofind out what time I was going togo round with the money, and hadI sorted out the insurance? Well,that hadn't even crossed my mind!So, I spent the whole of my lunchbreak on Friday sorting thatout... And it was reallyexpensive because I haven'tdriven since 1984. But I didn'ttell you on Thursday, Gerri,
because I knew I was coming heretoday, and I wanted to surpriseyou all.
TOMWell, it is a surprise. Shall Itake that from you? (MARY isstill clutching the wine.)
MARYYeah - thanks, Tom.
TOMThank you.
MARY(Giggling) Oh, Tom.... sorry.
(She gives him a hug.)
MARY (CONTD)Can I have a little glass,please?
TOMAre you sure.
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MARYYeah.
GERRIYou shouldn't drive if you'redrinking, Mary.
MARYYeah - I know, Gerri. But, you'reallowed a couple of glasses,aren't you, Tanya?
TANYASmall ones.
MARYYeah - Yeah, is that alright,Tom?
TOMYeah.
(He goes off into the house. MARY giggles.)
MARYHi, Gerri. (She kisses GERRI.)I'm really sorry.
GERRIOh, don't be so daft.
MARYHi, Tanya. (She kisses TANYA.)
TANYAHello!
MARYOh, we really miss you at work,don't we, Gerri?
TANYASweetheart!
MARYWhen you coming back from
maternity leave?
TANYAGive us a chance!
(MARY laughs uproariously, and goes to JOE. She hugs himtightly.)
MARYHi, Joe!
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JOEHi.
MARY(Tighter still) Oh, it's reallylovely to see you.
JOEYou, too.
(MARY disengages herself from JOE.)
MARYHi, Ken.
(KEN moves towards her.)
MARY (CONTD)
Are you alright?
KENYeah...
(But MARY moves away.)
JOECome and sit down, Mary.
GERRIHave a seat, Mary.
(MARY moves round the table.)
MARYIs anyone sitting here?
TANYANo.
GERRINo.
(MARY sits at the table next to JACK.)
MARYOh, this is lovely. Hiya, Jack!
JACKI thought you were going to miss
me out, Mary!
MARYOh, sorry.
(She kisses him on the cheek.)
MARY (CONTD)Where's Janey?
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JACKOh, she's a bit under the weatherthis afternoon.
MARYOh, Im sorry to hear that; I'm
starving. Oh - the baby!
TANYAOh yeah - the baby!
MARYI'm sorry, Tanya.
TANYAThat's alright.
(MARY leans over the baby.)
MARYHello, little Isaac.
TANYASay hello. Don't mind the funnylady!
MARY(Giggling) I'm sorry. I didn'trecognise him. Oh, he's asleep.Oh, hasn't he grown? He's gotever so big.
TANYAThey do that.
(TOM has returned. He gives MARY a glass of white wine.)
TOMHere you are.
MARYOh, thanks, Tom.
(MARY takes a long swig of wine. GERRI gets up and givesISAAC to TANYA. MARY returns to the table.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh, that's better.
GERRIWe've saved you some food, Mary.I hope it's still warm.
(She takes a cloth off a bowl of food.)
MARYOh, thanks, Gerri. Oh, yeah,thatll be fine.
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(She helps herself to some meat.)
TOMI'll do you some fresh, if youlike.
MARYOh, no, Tom. Don't worry about
me.
(TOM sits down. Everybody is now seated, except KEN, who isstill hovering.)
JOESo you didn't get arrested then,Mary?
MARY
No I didn't, Joe. He was verykind to me, actually.
JACKWhat cc is your car?
MARYWhat dyou mean?
JACKHow big's the engine?
MARY
Oh I don't know... It's aboutthis big, I think.
(She demonstrates the size of her engine with her hands.Loud amusement from all. She looks perplexed. She giggles.)
MARY (CONTD)What's so funny?
GERRIDon't be cruel!
TOMHe means, how powerful is it,Mary. How many cubic centimetresis it?
JOEYou should know that.
JACKOn the back, there's numbers,like one-point-six, or one-point-nine.
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MARY TO ALL:Oh yeah. I know, yeah. Well,that's boys' stuff, isn't it?
TANYAIt's not important.
MARYNo, Tanya. I think I'm going tohave a cigarette before I eatthis.
JACK(getting up) Excuse me - I'll getout of your way.
GERRI(getting up) Shall we take Isaac
over there?
TANYA(getting up) Okay.
MARYOh, I thought you wouldn't mind,cos we're outside.
GERRINo, we don't, Mary. You carry on.
(TOM and JOE get up.)
TOMYou're alright - you're alright.
MARYYeah.
TANYAIt's okay - I fancy a swing.
(MARY giggles, and gets out a cigarette. KEN joins her. Hist-shirt reads Less thinking - more drinking.)
KENHave one of these, Mary.
(He offers a cigarette.)
MARYOh, no, it's alright. I've got myown, thank you.
(She starts to light her cigarette, but KEN beats her to itwith his lighter.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh. Thanks.
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(She isnt enthusiastic.)
KENI'll have a smoke with you.
(He sits next to her. She moves away from him a little.)
MARYWell, I don't really smoke,normally... just the occasionalone or two.
(They both have a drag. Mary gulps some wine. Pause.)
KENHowre you doing?
MARY
Yeah, I'm... Im really well,thanks, Ken. (Another gulp ofwine.)
KENStill on your own, are you?
MARYYeah, I am, and I like it likethat - you know?
KENYou're like me.
(An embarrassed silence. They both take drags on theircigarettes. KEN sips his beer. Pause.)
Meanwhile, TANYA sits on the garden swing, while TOM standsbeside her, holding ISAAC, who is still asleep. During thisscene the camera slowly tracks across TANYA and TOM, endingof GERRI and JACK.
TOMHe's good.
TANYAHe's great. He's a hungry bugger.
TOMIs he?
TANYAJust like his dad.
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TOMIs he a good dad?
TANYAYeah.
TOMIs he a nappy changer?
TANYAIsh.
TOMI expect you're too capable.
TANYAOh, I am.
TOMLike Gerri was.
GERRILike Gerri was what?
(ISAAC whimpers a little.)
TOM(To GERRI) Mind your ownbusiness.
TANYA
We're talking about you, not toyou.
(GERRI laughs)
JACKHey, thanks for popping around onFriday. Janey really appreciatedit.
GERRIHow is she?
JACKNot good.
GERRINo.
JACKShes exhausted all the time,just getting up and down thestairs - knocks her out.
GERRII noticed.
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JACKAnd, you know, she could do withlosing a few pounds, but she'snot getting any exercise, so...
GERRI
How are you doing?
JACKOh, I'm alright. We staycheerful, you know? We don't letthings get us down.
GERRIThat's the spirit.
(Pause. GERRI sips her wine.)
The kitchen. MARY and KEN are at the fridge. MARY ispouring herself some wine. KEN tries to do it for her.
MARYNo, it's alright, Ken. I can pour
my own wine, thank you very much.
(KEN lets go of the bottle.)
KENSorry.
MARYLook at the food in this fridge.(She closes it.) I haven't gotanything in mine. I'll see youlater, alright?
(MARY rushes off. KEN looks helpless and sad.)
JOE and GERRI are sitting on the garden bench.
JOEHere she comes.
MARYCan I come in the middle?
GERRICourse you can.
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(MARY sits.)
MARYNever come between a mother andher son. (Laughs) Oh, this is mysecond one, Gerri.
JOEAre you sure?
MARYYeah; and then that's it. (Shetakes a mouthful.)
GERRIThis could be the making of you,Mary.
MARYYeah. I think so, Gerri. I mean,just driving here today, I feltlike a whole person...
GERRIDid you?
MARYYeah, a free spirit. I mean, eventhough the journey was a completenightmare from beginning to end -it was awful, people were getting
so cross with me. Dyou know whatI mean, Joe? It's a lovely littlecar. I want you to come out andsee it later. I feel really goodbehind the wheel - reallyspecial. You looked so lovelyholding that baby, Gerri.
GERRIHe's delightful.
MARY
I expect you're looking forwardto being a grandmother, aren'tyou?
GERRIHmm... you should ask my sonabout that.
JOEIt's got nothing to do with me.
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MARY(Laughing) He's great, isn't he?You should come out and have adrink with us some time, me andyour mum.
JOEYeah?
MARYYeah, why not? We often go, don't
we, Gerri?
GERRIOccasionally, yes.
JOEYeah, I know you do.
MARYYeah, yeah. Or it doesn't evenhave to be your mum - it could bejust us.
JOEJust you and me?
MARYYeah, well we've known each othera while, haven't we? We're oldfriends, aren't we?
GERRICould you get me a refill, Joe?
JOE(getting up) Yes, Mummy.
GERRIThank you.
(MARY laughs uproariously. As JOE crosses the garden to gointo the house, he stops for a moment to speak to TANYA,
who is changing ISAACs nappy. As he goes into theconservatory, KEN waddles out, holding a glass and a winebottle.)
MARYOh, here comes Ken.
(TOM comes out of the conservatory, overtaking KENquickly.)
TOMEverything alright?
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TANYAYes.
(TOM picks up a bottle of sauce from the barbecue, andreturns to the house.)
TOMHes a good lad.
TANYAYes.
(KEN ambles towards TANYA.)
MARYHe could be quite good looking ifhe wanted to.
(KEN and TANYA chat. We see all this from a distance, i.e.from GERRIs and MARYs point of view.)
MARY (CONTD)He should lose a couple of stone,shouldn't he?
GERRIHe was a good looking man when he
was young.
MARYWas he?
GERRIMm. He's got a good heart.
(They watch him. Then GERRI turns to MARY.)
GERRI (CONTD)Life's not always kind, is it?
MARYNo, it isn't, Gerri.
(She reflects on this for a few moments. KEN and TANYAchat.)
MARY (CONTD)I don't mind the grey hair; Ithink that can look quitedistinguished on a man of hisage, but... (she shudders) ...you know.
(GERRI looks at MARY for a moment, then looks away. MARY isunsure as to GERRIs thoughts. She reflects again.)
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In front of the house. JACK leaves. TOM stands on hisdoorstep, his hands in his pockets. He is still wearing hisapron.
TOMI'll give you a ring in the week.
JACKWe'll have a proper game nexttime.
TOMYeah. Ta-ta.
JACKSee yer.
(He goes. TOM glances up and down the street, then goesinside, closing the door. A dog barks in the distance.)
JOE crosses the back garden, and joins MARY, who is sittingon the steps of a wooden cabin at the far end. She stillhas her wine glass.
MARY
Hi, Joe.
JOEHi.
MARYHave you come back to me?
JOEI have.
MARY
They all come back in the end.
JOEDo they?
MARYIn my nightmares.
JOEOh, it's as bad as that, is it?
MARYOh, let's not open that can of
worms.
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JOENo, let's leave that closed.
MARYNot today, anyway.
(She strokes his arm.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh, how are you, Joe? Is lifetreating you kind?
JOE TO MARY:Can't complain.
MARYReally?
JOEYes.
MARYNothing you want to share with
me?
JOENo, I don't think so.
MARYBecause you know that you cancome and talk to me... any time
you like.
JOEWell, I'll come and find you if Ineed you.
MARYYeah; yeah. I like to feel thatI'm always there for you.
JOEThanks, Mary. How are you?
(MARY finishes her wine.)
MARY(introspective) Yeah, I'malright... (suddenly sparkling)No, I'm great, actually!
JOEWell, you look well.
MARYDo I? Oh, thank you. (Laughs) Isuddenly feel really liberated.
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JOEWell, you're a free spirit now,aren't you?
MARYI know!
JOEYou're your own woman.
(She laughs)
JOE (CONTD)The world's your oyster.
MARYIt's so exciting, isn't it? Ifeel like Thelma and Louise.
This little car is going tochange my life.
JOEWell, let's hope so.
MARYI do feel a bit guilty, though.But at the end of the day.... so
what? It's my little present tome.
JOE
That's fair enough.
MARYYeah, because if I don't treat
myself, nobody else is going to,are they?
JOEWhat are you going to call thiscar?
MARY
Ooh, I don't know. Why, do yougive names to things?
JOEI've got names for everything.
MARY(Giggling) Really? Like what?
JOEWell, my nose is called Roger...
MARYOh, you mean... your body parts?
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JOEYeah, I'm not going to introduceyou to everyone, though.
MARY(Laughing) What, not even little
Percy?
JOEOh, you've already met my knee,then?
(MARY laughs)
MARYOh, Joe - we must go out and havea drink one night. We have such alaugh.
JOEYeah, we do.
MARYYou see, the thing about you and
me is... that we've always justsort of clicked, haven't we?
JOEYeah.
(Pause.)
MARYIt's nice when that happens,isn't it?
(Pause. JOE nods imperceptibly. MARY glances up at thecabin.)
MARY (CONTD)Dyou remember when you showed meyour little box?
JOEYes.
MARYYou wouldn't tell me what was init
JOEI'm still not gonna tell you.
MARYI know!
JOEWhat?
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MARY(Giggling) I'm not telling you.
(She climbs the steps of the cabin, and opens the upperbarn door.)
MARY (CONTD)I still think about that. We hada barbecue that day, didn't we?Oh, it still smells the same.It's messy, isn't it? Yourkidsll will enjoy playing inhere, won't they? One day.
(Pause. She closes the door.)
MARY (CONTD)So, is there anyone special in
your life at the moment, Joe?
JOENo.
(MARY comes down the steps.)
MARYOh, good. No - what I mean is,that's alright, you'recomfortable with that, aren'tyou?
JOEAm I?
MARYWell, the thing is, Joe, you'reyoung. You still want to be outthere, don't you?
JOEWhat, sewing my wild oats?
MARY
Well, yeah. Live life while youcan. Don't think about tomorrow.
JOEA lot of my friends are getting
married.
MARYOh, but... Yeah, you wanna becareful, Joe, because...See, I got married in mytwenties, and granted, he was the
wrong man, but I was too young -I couldn't handle it.
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But when I was in my thirties, Imet the right man, and I wasmature, I was ready for it.(Pause.) I mean he left me,but... what can you do?
JOEIt's never too late, Mary.
MARYOh, no, I know it isn't, Joe...and you know me - I'm very much aglass-half-full kind of girl. Butit's tricky, because... I meetthese older men who want somebodyyounger, and that's great,because I fit the bill. But...
when they find out that... you
know, I'm not as young as theythought, they don't want to know.My looks work against me. How olddo you think I look, Joe?
JOESixty...? Seventy...?
(A brief moment of horror, then she realises.)
MARYOh, stop it!
(They laugh. But the laughter fades away. Pause.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh, it's alright - you don't haveto answer that. So, when are wegoing to have this drink, then?
JOEOh, I don't know - I'll have tocheck my diary.
MARY
Yeah, you do that. Give me acall.
JOEI will.
MARYPromise.
JOEI promise.
(Pause. JOE looks away, In these few moment, we see inMARYs face a multitude of painful thoughts and emotions.)
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KEN is standing in the kitchen, by the hall door. He isholding a glass of red wine and the bottle. TOM comes in
from the hall.
TOMHello, mate. Got to get yourtrain - we should get cracking.I'll run you to the station.
GERRI(entering) You've had too much todrink, Tom.
TOM
(taking off his apron) No, Ihaven't!
GERRII think you have.
TOMI'm alright.
GERRIWe can get him a mini-cab.
KEN
No, I'll be fine on the tube.
MARY(entering) Oh no, you don't wantto get a mini cab.
TOMNo, it might take twenty minutesto turn up. We haven't got time.
MARYI had a really bad experience in
a mini-cab once.
(Enter JOE.)
GERRIYou're going on the tube, aren'tyou, Joe?
JOEOf course.
MARYOh, no - don't go on the tube,Joe. I can give you a lift - youcan be my navigator.
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JOEOoh, that sounds fun.
MARYYeah.
TOMYou can give them both a lift.You're all going in the samedirection.
GERRII'm not sure Mary can managethat.
MARYOf course I can, Gerri. (Shelooks at KEN) Oh, I don't know...
KENI'll be fine on the tube -honest.
JOE(putting on his coat) It's agreat idea.
MARYI don't know how to get to King'sCross, though.
JOEI do. We can all go together. (Hegoes out to the hall)
TOMThat's great. Is that alright
with you, Mary?
MARYYeah, of course it is, Tom. It'llbe good practice for me. I'mgonna run upstairs, before we go
on the journey. (She goes)
GERRII'm not sure about this.
JOE(returning) It'll be fine.
KENId better pack me bag.
(He follows JOE out of the room)
GERRITom!
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TOMWhat?
(GERRI laughs)
In the street. MARY leads them out to the car.
MARYWhat dyou think, Tom?
TOMWell, it's small and red. It's
what you asked for.
JOEWhatve you done, Mary?!
(MARY rushes excitedly round to the drivers door.)
MARYIt's great, isn't it?
TOMNice bit of parking, Mary!
(MARY giggles then - )
MARYOh - ! Oh, God - I didn't lockit! It's a good job it didn't getpinched, isn't it? (She gets intothe car)
TOMBy the way, Mary, it's a one-point-four.
MARY(Giggling) Oh - thanks, Tom!
TOMWell, you must come again. Nowyou don't know the way.
(KEN starts to get into the car, but TOM stops him, andgives him a hug. Then KEN hugs GERRI. As he gets into thecar, JOE hugs GERRI.)
MARYs car races through Londons busy traffic.
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In the car. JOE is in the front, KEN behind.
MARYOh, God, Joe. What am I going todo without you?
JOEYou'll be fine.
MARYCan't you stay in the car justtill we get to King's Cross?
KENWe'll be alright, Mary.
MARYKen, what are you talking about?You don't even know London!!
JOEIt'll be sign-posted.
MARYOh, it's so lovely having yousitting next to me, Joe. Telling
me where to go and what to do.
JOEIt's been a pleasure, Mary.
MARYOh, please! I'll take youanywhere you want. I'll take youhome, if you like!
JOEJust herell do.
MARYOh, God, alright - let me pullin.
(She stops the car.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh... bye then.
(She kisses JOE.)
MARY (CONTD)Lovely to see you. Don't forgetto give me a ring, will you?
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JOENo, I won't.
KENBye, Joe.
JOEYeah, take care.
(JOE and KEN shake hands.)
KENSee you soon.
JOELook after yourself.
MARY
Oh - Joe, where do I go?
JOEStraight ahead, left round theone-way system.
MARYYeah, okay. Oh, bye then... Bye.
(JOE gets out.)
KENI'll get in the front.
(He proceeds to do so.)
MARYOh, no, Ken. We haven't got timefor this!
(He pushes the front seat forwards.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh, for God's sake!
(He gets into the front, and closes the door.)
MARY (CONTD)Oh, no need to slam the door!
The car pulls up outside Kings Cross Station.
MARY (CONTD)Better hurry up.
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KENYeah, I'll run.
MARYYeah. See you soon, then.
KENGood bye, Mary.
MARYBye.
(He leans towards her.)
MARY (CONTD)Bye, Ken.
(She proffers her cheek, and he kisses it. Then he puts his
arm round her.)
KENI like you, Mary.
MARYNo, Ken!
KENCan I phone you?
MARYNo.
KENJust for a chat.
MARYNo, you can't!
KENI could come down and see you.
MARYCan you take your hand off of me
please, Ken?
(He removes it.)
KENSorry.
MARYLook, I'm gonna have to be honest
with you. I just don't have thosekind of feelings for you, Ken -I'm really sorry.
KENRight.
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(He takes his bag from the back seat, accidentally hittingher with it - which he doesnt notice.)
MARYOh.
KENSorry, I got carried away. Ididn't mean to.
MARYIt's alright. But hurry up, yourtrains going in a minute.
KENThanks for the lift.
MARY
Yeah, alright. Bye.
(He gets out, and rushes off.)
MARY (CONTD)God Almighty!
(She reverses erratically, confusing an unfortunate youngman who is trying to cross the road behind her. The cardrives off, making unhealthy noises.)
Under the Summer sky, KENs train races back to Hull.
FADE TO BLACK
Title: AUTUMN
The allotment, A crisp, Autumn day. Bright sunshine. TOM isdigging up pumpkins. GERRI is picking tomatoes.
Outside the house. TOM takes a box containing their producefrom the back of the car, and follows as GERRI, carryingher green wellies, unlocks the front door, and enters.
GERRII'll put the kettle on.
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TOMThe sooner the better!
(TOM walks past the living-room doorway.)
TOM (CONTD)Oh!!
JOEAhh!!
(He is lying on the sofa, a book open in his hand. Theylaugh.)
TOMWhatre you doing here, you daftbugger?!
(He puts the box in the hall. JOE gets up and hugs him.)
JOEI've come to surprise you.
(TOM goes into the room.)
TOMYou certainly did that.
GERRI(entering) It's lovely to see
you.
(She hugs JOE.)
TOMOh!!
GERRIUh?!!
(A young woman is behind the door.)
WOMANHello!! Sorry! He made me hidebehind the door.
(Much amusement all round.)
GERRIYou frightened the life out of
me!
TOMSo who's this, then?
JOEMum, Dad - this is Katie.
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KATIEHello!
JOEThis is Tom, and Gerri.
KATIETom and Gerri! That's brilliant!
TOMYeah, well... we've learnt tolive with it over the years.
(He puts an arm around GERRI.)
TOM (CONTD)So what's your name again?
KATIE/ JOEKatie.
TOMKatie.
JOESo, have you been at theallotment?
GERRIYes.
TOMYeah. Gathering the last of theseason's harvest...
GERRIWe've brought back some lovelytomatoes - haven't we?
TOMYeah.
KATIE
Sounds gorgeous.
TOMWe were just going to have asandwich...
GERRIAre you both hungry?
KATIEI'm starving.
JOEShe's starving.
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GERRII'll just go and change.
(She goes out.)
TOM
Just get out of this filthyclobber.
(He follows GERRI, who calls - )
GERRIYou go on through, Joe!
JOEAlright.
(JOE and KATIE proceed towards the kitchen. They kiss. Then
he squeezes her bottom.)
In the kitchen. GERRI is putting flowers into a vase.
KATIEThis is a lovely big kitchen,isn't it?
JOE
(ironic) It's gigantic.
KATIE(humorous) Shut up!
(She gives JOE a loving squeeze. TOM takes food from thefridge and puts it on the table.)
GERRIThank you for the flowers, Katie.
KATIE
Glad you like them.
GERRIThey're lovely.
KATIEOh, they're alright.
GERRISit yourself down.
KATIEThank you.
(KATIE and JOE sit at the table.)
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TOMSo how did you two meet?
JOEOur eyes met across a crowdedbar.
KATIEWe'd both been stood up by ourdates.
TOMAh, the bonding of the jilted.
JOESomething like that.
KATIE
Pretty much.
GERRIWhen was this?
KATIEOh, about three months ago,
wasn't it?
JOEYeah.
(TOM continues to set the table.)
GERRIYou never told us.
TOMMaster of discretion. I didn'tknow he had it in him.
GERRIMy enigmatic son.
JOE
You know me!
TOMMust be important.
KATIEOh, he's a dark horse.
JOEI wanted to keep you a secret.
KATIEYour son's a weirdo!
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GERRIYes, we know. He's havingtreatment.
(TOM and GERRI sit at the table.)
TOMHelp yourself. Tuck in. Whateveryou want.
KATIEThank you. (To JOE) My mum anddad know all about you.
JOEDo they, now?
TOM
And what do they do, Katie?
KATIEOh, my dad's a postman, and my
mum works on a make-up counter.
TOMOh, yeah?
GERRIAnd what do you work at, Katie?
KATIE
I'm an occupational therapist.
GERRIOh, are you? Where do you work?
KATIEAt the Royal Free.
GERRIOh, that's a great hospital.
KATIE
It's pretty good.
GERRIDo you specialise?
KATIEYeah. Care of the elderly, andstroke rehab.
TOMWhat's straight rehab?
JOE(Laughing) Stroke rehab!
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GERRIYou are going deaf.
TOMOh, stroke rehab - I thought yousaid, straight rehab.
KATIEWhat's straight rehab? What, forgay men who are on the turn?
TOMFor straight men, whove triedbeing gay, but want to berehabilitated into beingstraight.
(JOE and KATIE laugh.)
KATIEJoe tells me you're a counsellor,Gerri.
GERRIYes, I am, for my sins.
KATIEBut it's great to come home atthe end of the day and feel likeyou've made a contribution, isn'tit?
GERRIYes, of course.
TOMOr not, as the case may be.
KATIE(To TOM) Oh, I'm sure youcontribute!
TOM
I'm not talking about me. I'mtalking about you lot in thecaring professions. I don't care.
JOEWe know!
GERRIHard man.
KATIEAnd I know you're a geologist,Tom. But what exactly do you do?
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TOMAh, yes. Well, strictly speaking,I'm actually an engineeringgeologist, which means that I -
GERRI
He digs holes.
TOMI investigate...
JOEYou dig holes!
TOMAlright, I dig holes!
(Everybody laughs)
KATIEThat's just calling a spade aspade, isn't it?
GERRII always call it a shovel.
TOMYou call it a fork. I call it atrailer-mounted tripod cablepercussive boring unit.
GERRIAnd that's why I love him.
TOMNo, I investigate the groundbeneath our feet, to test thefeasibility of variousengineering and buildingprojects.
KATIEOh, it sounds amazing. What are
you working on at the moment?
TOMAh, yes. Well, right now the mainproject is an eight-metrediameter tunnel, which is goingto alleviate the pressure onLondon's Victorian sewage system.
KATIEBlimey! Eight metres! That's big!
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TOMOh, yeah. And it'll follow thepath of the Thames for twenty
miles, up to eighty metres underground.
JOEAnd that's just for thishousehold.
(KATIE laughs)
TOMSo, it's quite a big number. ButI'm not doing it on my own.There's a few of us. And it won'tbe finished till after I'm dead.
KATIEOh no! Youd better get a moveon!
(They all laugh.)
TOMHelp yourself. Anything you want.Dyou want some ham?
KATIEOh, no thanks. I'm a veggie,actually.
TOMAre you?
KATIEMm. This cheese is gorgeous,though. Thank you.
GERRIHelp yourself.
KATIE
Thank you.
JOEWhat you got planned later?
TOMAh, yes... We're having avisitation.
JOESounds ominous.
GERRIMary's coming for tea.
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JOEOh, I was right.
KATIEWho's Mary?
GERRIShe's a friend from work.
KATIEOh, right.
TOMYes, she's er... Hmm, yes.
JOEShe's something else.
KATIEI won't ask.
(KATIE laughs.)
A little later. JOE opens the front door to reveal MARY.
JOE(singing) Ta-da!!
MARYOh, Joe! How lovely to see you!
(She comes in and throws her arms round him.)
MARY (CONTD)This is a surprise. How are you?
(TOM joins them.)
JOE
I'm good.
MARYOh, you look great!
JOESo do you.
MARYOh, thank you!
(She laughs, and hugs him again.)
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TOMHello, Mary! I'm Tom, I'm hisfather, I live here.
MARYOh, Tom! My two favourite men.
(She hugs TOM.)
JOEIn you go.
(MARY takes JOEs arm.)
MARYYou never rang me.
JOE
I'm sorry.
MARYWhatever happened to that drink
we were going to have?
JOEI've got a surprise for you.
MARYOh, Joe - you shouldn't have!
(KATIE comes out of the conservatory, holding a basil plant
in a pot. She is followed by GERRI.)
KATIEHello!
JOEKatie, this is Mary. Mary, thisis Katie.
KATIEHello, Mary - it's nice to meetyou.
(She shakes MARYs hand.)
MARYOh, hi.
GERRIThis is Joe's girlfriend.
(MARYs ebullience drains away. She is devastated.)
KATIE(To MARY) I like your jacket. (ToJOE) Look, your mum gave me a potof basil. Smell that.
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GERRIShe's going to make him some