An Integrated Development Environment

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PsychologyPsychology is science that involves the scientific study of behavior and mental processes. Theclinical profession of human psychology recognizes mental processes, their effects upon human

behavior, and treats behavioral or emotional disorders. This guide provides psychology articleswith comprehensive information on the study of psychology, application of psychologicaltheory, human behavior, mental functions, the nature and functions of the mind.

Highly Sensitive Person TraitsDo you know what traits distinguish a highly sensitive person from the other people? What is the

reason behind those differences? This article presents a list of highly sensitive person traits. Gothrough it to enhance your knowledge.

The person who is highly sensitive has an innate trait of high sensitivity. There are some easilynoticeable psychology traits that can distinguish highly sensitive people from the regular ones.Some of the identifiable highly sensitive person traits are shyness, social phobia, social anxiety

problems, introversion, innate fearfulness, etc. Though it may seem like, but a highly sensitive


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person does not have below-average intelligence. Rather he is a gifted person who is creative,thoughtful and very imaginative.

Medical professionals carry a test to confirm whether an individual has this particular personalitytype or not. This test is known as the highly sensitive person test. This test comprises mainly of a

list of questions. The correct answers to all these questions help the doctor to come to aconclusion. According to studies, 15-20% of the human population has a highly sensitive personality. Following are some of the common and easily noticeable highly sensitive persontraits. Check up on intj personality type .

N oticeable Highly Sensitive Person Symptoms

y I s able to perform deep processing of information.y Picks up on subtle things while in the process of learning.y I s not able to learn well when over aroused.y I s loyal, sentimental and thoughtful.y I

s good at doing tasks that need deep concentration and focus.y I s able to accomplish tasks with great accuracy, detail and speed.y I s very painstaking.y I s good at fine motor movements.y Gets more affected by caffeine in comparison with non-bearers of this highly sensitive

person trait.y Can stay still for a longer time than regular people.y H as a more active right brain.y I s creative by nature.y I s imaginative.y Takes time to come out from the effect of some sort of stimulus.y Can understand human emotions deeper than regular people.y I s better at finding errors.y I s good at avoiding errors and mistakes as well.y Does not give his best on being watched.y Does not work well when the situation is quiet calm and relaxed.y Tends to mix less with others.y Prefers to feel and experience quietly by himself.y I s a great organizer. This is one of the most positive highly sensitive person symptoms.y I s a loyal, hard working perfectionist. Therefore, it is great for an employer to have

highly sentimental people in the workplace.y I s caring and compassionate. This particular highly sensitive person trait makes the

company of such a person wonderful.y I s inclined towards spirituality.y I s blessed with an incredible aesthetic sense.y I s concerned for the environment.y H as a sense of appreciation for nature, arts and music.y N otices subtleties like changes in a person's appearance, changes in some object's

placement.y Performs well in the presence of known people.


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y Prefers to play quietly.y Asks deep and thought provoking questions.y Gets easily disturbed by noise.y Reads the mind and mood of others.y I s able to notice slightest unusual smell.

As is clear from the information given above on highly sensitive person traits, in such a personthe signal for perception of things in the surrounding is significantly magnified by the time itreaches the brain. Because of this, the feeling and emotions are comparatively stronger in ahighly sensitive person. This is the reason that explains how highly sensitive people anddepression are found to be associated. I f you find your case to be similar, you must be lookingfor information on how to control your overtly sentiments and emotions at times. For your information, you have a genetic makeup that accounts for the exaggeration of your feelings.Therefore, you cannot control your emotions like how regular people do. H owever, you can tryto do so by trying out certain self-relaxing and self-calming things. You can take help of yoga ,meditation and deep breathing techniques to cope with anxiety and stress . Leading a disciplined

life with proper hours of sleep and relaxation will also help you help yourself. Take good care of yourself to lead a happy and content life.

Psychology Careers: Jobs with a PsychologyDegreeI f it is jobs with a psychology degree that you need to know about, then here's to making wishescome true. Presenting an article on various jobs with a psychology degree.


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People opt for getting jobs with a psychology degree because these psychology careers are notonly interesting and challenging, but the right kinds of jobs with a psychology degree can alsoturn out to be some of the most top paying jobs with a psychology degree. The interesting aspectof getting jobs with a degree in psychology is that it allows you to be dealing with the social and

biological aspects of the human nature. There are different fields in psychology that you canchoose to study from, and eventually specialize in. The choice is mind boggling. H avingachieved a degree in psychology , however, if you are not sure about the kind of jobs with a

psychology degree that you can get, then just follow this article for some answers.

Psychology is tough. Finding the answer to the question - " W hat drives us to do we do what wedo and why do we do it ?" cannot be easy. That is what a psychologist will do. There is aninteresting story to relate here. At a party, a skimpily dressed girl walks in and everyone turns tolook at her. The psychologist turns to look at everyone else. Of course, that is not all that

psychology entails. Psychology has several branches and because of the nature of the subject,most of the jobs you can get with a psychology degree are rather high paying. H ere are some of the jobs you can get with a psychology degree: Read more on psychologist job description .

High Paying Jobs with a Psychology Degree

School Counselor/Psychologist This job has been in demand for quite sometime now, what with the society's change in attitudeto focus on the mental health of students. The school boards have agreed that tackling the mentalhealth and well being of the students early on in their student life will make the students better

people and more adjustable and happy in later life. The school counselor and psychologist doesexactly that. Most report of a deep satisfaction that they feel because they are helping solve

problems in the society that might have risen later on. Read more on careers in school


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psychology .

Sports Psychologists This is one of the best jobs that you can get with a psychology degree. Sports psychologists willdo everything that needs to be done to motivate a sports person. This will involve them helping

the athletes to focus on their competition and how to win; how to overcome the fear of failureand provide anxiety cures, thereby helping them to deal with their stress. This is turning out to beone of the most popular of the jobs with a psychology degree. Read more on sports psychology .

Engineering Psychologists This combines the fields of psychology and industry. These psychologists will mainly conductresearch on how people can work more efficiently with machines. This will involve studyingabout what needs to be done to make the computer more user friendly, such that it causes lessstrain to the eyes and less fatigue overall. So also what should be the maximum workload so thatmaximum productivity is achieved. Thus, for a person who likes to study human behavior andhas a love for machinery, this is one of the best jobs with a psychology degree.

Genetics Counselor This is a fairly new field in jobs with a psychology degree. These psychologists mainly helpfamilies understand genetic disorders by providing information to them and supporting them.Since many people and even doctors, don't know about genetic disorders and how it can affectthem, these psychologists will help them by providing valuable information about how genes cancause genetic disorders. They might also help them find local services that handle these issues.Read on psychology jobs with a bachelor's degree .

Animal-Assisted Therapist AAT (Animal-Assisted Therapist) is a type of therapy that involves making the use of animals totreat patients. This is mainly used in treating children who are suffering with autism spectrumdisorders. This therapy is designed to improve the emotional, physical, cognitive and socialfunctioning of the patient. I t also provides motivation and education. I t is done on an individualor even group basis and involves usage of several animals, including cats, dogs, dolphins, birds,lizards and rabbits along with other small animals.

G overnment Jobs with a Psychology Degree

H ere is a list of the possible jobs with a psychology degree in the government sector.

Teacher Teaching is a very satisfying job and at the same time can be very demanding. To be a

psychology teacher qt high school, one will have to have a degree in psychology. But if it isteaching college students that interests you then you will need to go in for a master's degree.Read on careers in child psychology .

Social Worker A social worker will perform duties that involve analyzing a patient's mental capacity andcognitive behaviors, thus a psychology degree becomes a must if one wants to be a social


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worker. One could work as a caseworker for child abuse issues, rehabilitation issues and aswelfare case workers.

F orensic Psychologists These psychologists apply psychological principles to legal issues. They are often called to serve

cases in court because they can help determine the parentage of a child or analyze the defendant'sstate of mind and conclude if he can stand for trial. They are sometimes trained in both law and psychology. They also conduct research on jury behavior and eyewitness testimony. Thus theyare an important link in solving certain court cases. Read more on forensic psychology .

Research/Experimental Psychologists These psychologists conduct research at corporations, universities and non-profit organizationand several other government based sectors. They conduct experiments and study the patterns of

behaviors in animals and humans so that they can draw conclusions about issues like attentionspan, effects of drugs, learning processes, genetics, neurology and motivation. I f you want tolearn more about the jobs with a bachelor degree in psychology , then read the following articles:

y Psychology Careers With a Bachelor's Degree y Psychologist Salary Range

M ind Reading TricksSo, you want to learn some mind reading tricks eh? Well, I don't know if you will be able to read

minds like a book after reading this article, but you will certainly have a rough idea about howyou can read people.


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As one goes ahead in life, one realizes that most problems in the world arise due tomisunderstandings. I f only people could understand each other better, life would be simpler.When you fail to understand what exactly the person in front of you wants, he can make lifedifficult for you! You wish that if only you knew some mind reading tricks, handling difficult

people at work would be simple! This article will give you some mind reading tricks and t ips

which will help you to understand and read people better.I f you came to this page looking for mind reading card tricks or magical tricks, I am not going togive you anything like that. By mind reading tricks, I mean to give you tips on how to read

people's behavior through their body language and the subtle cues that they give through their overall behavior and speech. These are mind reading tricks which teach you to read between thelines.

You cannot learn these mind reading tricks in a day. I t takes years of experience to understand'people'. You need to have a keen eye to see tiny details of behavior patterns that people show.You need to study people like shrinks, without being intrusive like them! You must practice

reading minds of people to such a degree, that you feel what the person is going through just bylooking at him. Very few can do that, as very few can really see people for what they are! Mostof us take people around for granted and see them as we want them to be. To be an expert atmind reading tricks, one has to have an unbiased eye which can see people for exactly what theyare. Don't judge before you can see them clearly.

M ind Reading Tricks & Tips There is nothing exotic about mind reading tricks. Some people are naturally good atunderstanding what the person in front of them wants. They get ahead in life taking advantage of

people. There are few who realize that such an ability can be used to help people out. They become excellent shrinks. Though you and me may never be experts at mind reading tricks, likethese people, we can try our level best to master them. This may reduce a lot of unnecessarytension and friction that arises through our dealing with people. One thing that you need tounderstand is that you have to love people to understand them better! H ere are some mindreading tricks which I have garnered through my own limited experience of life on this dear Earth. The trick is be genuinely interested in that person. I t is all applied psychology .

L ook Into the Eyes The eyes are the windows of the soul they say. Whatever goes on in the minds of people, alwaysgets reflected in their eyes, even if the face may try to betray those emotions. At leastmomentarily, the emotions inside show themselves in a person's eyes. Learn to see it andinterpret it.

Understand the Unsaid Many times people say some thing, but in actuality they are trying to convey something else.This may seem cryptic to you, but you will understand it, if you try to think about it. Why don't

people say what they want to say? There are many reasons why people leave things unsaid andsay things which are sometimes completely opposite. Ego is one reason, fear is another and mostof the times its confusion about what they really want! So, hear the unsaid and the said. See itthrough the eyes and the body language. People do say exactly what they feel, but if you can hear


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the unsaid, you can understand them more better. For that you must experience that persontotally and never judge a person from just what he says. See him as clearly as possible.

Read the Body L anguage Cues There are many body language cues which you learn to read through experience. There is no one

set of body language rules like road signs. They change from person to person. Look for all theimpulsive, jerky movements as well as posturing cues. They tell you a lot. Read more on

y Body Language Tips y Body Language Signs y Reading People by Body Language

See Things F rom His/Her Perspective To read a person's mind requires no special mind reading trick, more than the ability to seethings from his/her perspective. Look at world warped through his/her emotions and experiences.Well that is never exactly possible, but you can get an idea about why he reacts to certain things

in a certain way, if you only put yourself in his/her position.

Observe Without Preconceived Notions I read somewhere that, if you judge people, you have no time loving them. I n the same way I would like to say that if you judge people immediately, you will never have enough time tounderstand them. When you listen to a person, listen keenly and do not judge before taking inwhat they are trying to convey. Observe the facial expressions, look in to the eyes and take all of it in without judging. Later you can analyze it. This way, you do not miss anything. As youspend time with that person, you eventually learn the patterns of his behavior. H e or she willslowly become predictable, as you perceive a thought forming in their minds through subtleexternal manifestations, long before it becomes obvious.

Understand the Core of That Person One of the greatest mind tricks is to understand what forms the core of that person. What arehis/her core values? What idea does that person represent? Every person is an idea which is amanifestation of what are his core values, principles, his insecurities, fears, what drives him andwhat he is emotionally invested in. I f you can understand that, then reading that person's mindand predicting what he'll do will become possible. That is, you'll be able to read their mind.

N one of these mind reading tricks are easy to pull off, as you must have figured out by now.They require you to experience a person and observe for long. Every one of them requires

practice over years and an inherent ability to empathize with a person. There are people you'llmeet who are opaque to your mind reading tricks. They are highly controlled, non-impulsiveindividuals. They can cloak their emotions and intentions masterfully. They will seem like anenigma to you.

Read more on:

y Reading Mind Tricks y H ow to H andle Difficult People


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You will always meet somebody like this eventually and then your expertise at mind readingtricks will be tested! H ope, I have been able to convey some idea about mind reading tricks.Whatever little I have learned, I have mentioned it here. When you know people more andunderstand them deeper, there is much that will amaze you and much that will make you repulsewhen you probe their deeper nature. You being one of them, they are not hard to understand.

Value the beautiful things you find inside and try to forgive the ones that shock you. You willfind great love, compassion as well as great hatred. You will perceive light and darkness. I n the process, you will learn to handle reality! You will realize that what one sees is only relativereality!

Passive Aggressive TraitsPeople suffering from passive aggressive traits often suppress their anger and frustration and

inculcate a pessimistic attitude towards life. They prefer to take a non-verbal way of expressingtheir annoyance and displeasure.

I n simple words, a passive aggressive trait is defined as the passive, moderatist resistance to meet

the expectations in professional and interpersonal situations. You can call it a negativistic personality trait, that is tagged by a pervasive pattern of pessimism and inactiveness. Let's learnsomething more about the passive aggressive traits.

W hat are the Indications of Passive Aggressive Traits?

y Passive aggressive traits in men are generally seen as a procrastinate approach towardsthe task assigned to them. They have a careless attitude towards deadlines. They follow


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their own time schedules and routines, without caring for those who want their work to bedone in a different way or at least on time.

y Passive aggressive people often feel themselves to be oppressed by others. According tothem, they are the innocent victims of other's unfair treatments. The matter gets evenworse when they find people around them upset because of their behavior.

y A common symptom that is noticed in people suffering from passive aggressive traits isthat they keep devising ways to catch others attention. For example, they hardly come ontime to any party, social gathering or even a date. They want others to wait for them andgive them importance.

y I t is observed that passive aggressive people often indulge in fights with their near anddear ones. They, actually, invent ways to start quarrels with a close friend or a relative.This is because, they fear intimacy. They are afraid of getting too intimate with others.

y Passive aggressive traits in women and children is marked by a fear of takingresponsibilities and incumbency. They want to live their lives on their own terms andwant to be actually free from any sort of boundedness and subjection. You will often findthem making excuses for not completing any task with their forgetfulness and weak

memory.y Another common fear shown by passive aggressive people is the dread of dependency onothers. I n order to beat such trepidation, they try to bring others under their control andcommand.

y Ambiguous behavior is again a common symptom shown by the sufferers of passiveaggressive traits. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand the meaning or significance of their speech and behavior.

y Passive aggressive traits victims rarely hold themselves responsible for any wrong deedthat they actually have done. Most of the times, they are found to blame others for thethings that go wrong because of them. And the worse, they want others to be punished for their baseless obligations.

y People suffering from passive aggressive traits are found switching between hostilerebelliousness and contrition. They keep on making exaggerated and persistentcomplaints of their misfortune. They are often sullen and argumentative. You can alsoread more on mental illness symptoms .

W hat is the Cause for Passive Aggressive Traits Development? According to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders , passive aggressive traits isnot considered as a personality disorder . But surely, it is a problem in itself. I t not only gives aself-defeating feeling to the sufferers, but also makes them hurt others around. There can be anumber of causes behind the development of passive aggressive traits in individuals. The most

probable one is the growing up in a family or social atmosphere, where not much importance isgiven to an individual's needs and wants, where expressing personal desires is not accepted andis taken as a selfish and self-centered nature. Such an upbringing, plants a subconscious feelingin the individuals, like desiring something which they want is unfair and unacceptable. I n suchsituations, children contrive to protect the relationship with their family members and friendswhich they cannot afford to jeopardize.

How can You Help a Passive Aggressive Traits Sufferrer? I f you find the symptoms of passive aggressive traits in any of your friends, family members, or


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children, there is something that you can do to help them come out of this sub-consciouscomplex. H owever, I would like to mention that the suggestions cited here are effective, andhave assisted a number of people which help the sufferers to recover from passive aggressive

behaviors to a great extent, but has no guarantee. The reason is that every individual's mind setand psychology is unique and no set rules can produce a similar effect on them. Treating passive

aggressive traits mean changing or completely removing the impressions deep embedded in one'ssubconscious. Still, you can give it a try.

y According to psychologists, you need to understand that a passive aggressive person isactually dealing with a psychological aggression within him and at the same time tryinghard to protect you from his hostility. A feasible idea is to not give him any chance to get

belligerent.y Avoid taking a domineering role with the sufferers of passive aggressive traits. You will

only make the condition worse with unnecessary stress and conflict. I nstead try to givehim the opportunity to make decisions and plans. Suggest him some options and let himchoose on his own.

y A passive aggressive person does not want to take any responsibility and commitment.You should realize it. Try to avoid those situations where you depend on him for animportant piece of work to be done from his side. Give him all the possible opportunitiesto live a free life, as per his definition of freedom. Let him live on his own terms. Readmore on mental health treatment .

Your getting annoyed by the passive aggressive traits sufferer's lateness, inefficiency,forgetfulness and offensive behavior is accepted and understood. Still, to help improve thecondition you need to inculcate a patient, calm and affectionate attitude towards him. Give himsome time and opportunity to recover and lead a satisfied and pleasant life.

B rainwashing TechniquesOne of the most evil practices on Earth, brainwashing techniques are aimed at changing or altering an individual's thought patterns. I t is done to introduce new thoughts and instill a new

belief system in the person. To know more about brainwashing techniques, read on...


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Brainwashing is a technique used in the reformation or alteration of an individual's thought

process and beliefs. The motive or purpose behind brainwashing a person is mostly evil or antisocial. The person who brainwashes someone generally resorts to harassing the victim, both

physically and mentally.

Robert Jay Lifton, a psychiatrist from the United States, studied brainwashing techniquesimplemented in Chinese war camps. These techniques were used to brainwash American

prisoners of war (POWs). According to him, the process of brainwashing involves varioustechniques, grouped under the following steps.

B reaking the Self-belief : This is the first step of brainwashing. I t involves breaking down a person's morale and the present beliefs, by means of physical and mental torture. The techniquesused in the process are enlisted below.

y A ttack on the Identity : I n this technique, the identity of the person to be brainwashed isattacked. I t creates a dent on the self-esteem of the person. The process may continuefrom a few days to several months, till the person becomes exhausted, disoriented andloses control over his mind .

y G uilt : The victim is constantly humiliated, so that he feels guilty about simple mistakesand the beliefs he holds. Eventually, a sense of shame develops in the victim and he

begins to lose confidence .y Self-betrayal : I n this technique, the victim is coerced to give up or denounce his beliefs

and also the social system he comes from. I t creates a kind of an identity crisis in themind of the victim.

y N ervous Breakdown : The victim who is already completely exhausted and disoriented,may suffer from a nervous breakdown . H e becomes prone to several psychologicaldisorders.

Possibility of Salvation : I n this stage, the person who brainwashes the victim, doesn't need totorture the victim or use coercive techniques. H e uses the following methods to bring the victimunder his control.

y Leniency : After bearing the harassment for a long time, the victim is shattered, both physically and mentally. At this point of time, the person or agent carrying out the


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said one particular very busy sales person. "Could be, but, are you saying that your stress hasnothing to do with your headache?" was my comment.

Some of the answers were unclear, unspecific, with many doubts and dilemmas.

DoI

believe in the link between emotions and health? Yes,I

strongly believe in this link, and ithas been known for many decades, if not centuries. But, I dont understand why so many peopleare still so unsure about this statement.

To all of you, who are still in some kind of dilemma, or even if you dont believe in the link between emotions and health, I need to convince you that this link exists. I ts not in myimagination.

What weve learned so far in the field of human health is that unhappy, sad, angry, pessimistic or depressed people are more often sick than others, and with more chronic diseases. Some diseasesare psychosomatic, or just partly psychosomatic, which means illness comes from a mental or

personality disturbance, and not from a physically dysfunctional organ or system. Or, to put itanother way: You are sick because of your emotions/health/body connection, not because of anyorganic dysfunction.

Whats the link between emotions, state of mind, attitude and our health? The link is theimmune system. Let me explain it.

Each distressing emotion produces a very powerful hormone, called cortisol. This is really a badhormone, that suppresses the immune system, which is our protection against illness. I f youwant good health and a strong immune system, then be positive, happy, joyful and optimistic.This is a fact known for many years, but obviously not to everyone.

Do you want to improve your immune system? Then start doing meditation, tai chi, yoga, payattention to your diet, exercise, improve your mental health and stay positive! Why? Becauseanger, anxiety, fear, depression, and many other things, affect the immune system itself.

N owadays we know that emotions produce biochemical changes in the body. Distressingemotions produce distressing results in the body. I nterestingly, in each human body, there is onespecific organ or system that is the weak point of the organism. I n medical jargon they called itin Latin, "Locus minoris resistentiae"- meaning "the place of least resistance to microorganisms"(Medicine N et.com). The weak point could be your immune system, your stomach, your neck,your back or your shoulders that bothers you the most often. I f you have more problems with one

particular organ or system, think about your emotions.

There is one gland in the human body that is watching your thoughts! I snt it incredible? Thatsmall gland known as the thymus, located behind the breastbone, plays a very important role inthe immunological defense system. As a part of the immune system, the thymus produces white

blood cells - in particular, lymphocytes, called T-cells. These cells are the most powerful tool inthe fight against disease and infection.


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One of the many possible ways to become ill is this one: Troubled thoughts: worries/depression/fear/anxiety/anger, leads to stress. The stress shrinks the production of the lymphocytes (T-cells)in the thymus. Less T-cells means a weaker immune system. With a weak immune system, anyattack to the body (exposure to an infection) actually means disease.

Now you know a little of how the link between emotions and health works. Being a physicallyhealthy person is the result of being a person with a positive attitude and a positive mental health

outlook - and vice versa.

There is one science, known as psychoneuroimmunogy, where you can learn more about the link between emotions and health. I n the word psychoneuroimmunogy psycho stands for the mind,neuro stands for the nervous system and immunology stands for the immune system.

Who knows, maybe youll see for yourself that the link between emotions and health exists.

M ood Changes CausesMood swings can change a person's life. I t can take a well-rounded person that has everythingunder control and turn their world upside down.Do you know what is meant by the phase mood swings? I t is when a person's personalitychanges very quickly. Sometimes there are good reasons for these changes, other times theremay not be. For example, you may receive good or bad news that causes you to go through achange in your mood. You may be startled or shocked in some way. When your mood changesfor these reasons then it is a natural occurrences and it is expected. I t's when a person has rapid

mood swings for no apparent reason that it becomes a problem. There are different causes of mood swings which are mentioned below.

Mood swings can be caused by pms. Pms stands for pre-menstrual syndrome. During this time awoman's hormones are going through a lot of changes that can make them go from happy to sador vice versa very quickly. Many times when a women is very emotional others just naturally sayshe has pms, rather she really does or not. Pre-menopause and menopause can also cause somesevere mood swings that can affect a person's life. They can take a well organized person thatalways seems to have everything under control and turn them into a person that gets upset easilyand losses control.

Even puberty can cause mood swings. H owever, once a teen becomes a young adult and their hormones go back to a more stable level these mood swings normally disappear for the most part. A mood swing that will not go away on its own is the ones that are caused from a personsuffering from bipolar. This can be a very serious mental illness that needs to be treated. I f a

person that is bipolar does not get the help they need it could have some very seriousconsequences. I t could even eventually ruin any chance they have of living a normal life.

Mood swings are also linked with AD H D and other hyperactive disorders. This is because being


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hyperactive can cause your emotions to sometimes run wild. mood swings are sometimes a verynatural thing that everyone experiences at different times in their life. I f you only go throughthem once in awhile then you shouldn't worry. H owever, if you begin to go through extrememood swings and have no idea why, then you should visit your doctor to see if there is a medicalcondition that is causing you to go through these problems. Severe mood swings can damage

relationships and cause friendships to be lost, don't let this happen to you if you are having problems.

Learn more about Mood Swings and OCD at here .

" Sorry, W hat's Your N ame Again? " Six Stepsto Relieve the M ost Common M emory W orryH ow to remember names...I f you live in fear of forgetting prospects' names, sometimes within mere seconds of beingintroduced to them, you're not alone. Surveys show that 83% of the population worries abouttheir inability to recall people's names. I ronically, while most of us hate having our namesforgotten or mispronounced, the majority of us claim we just "aren't good at rememberingnames" or putting faces together with names when we meet people again.

I f you have difficulty recalling names, you know that the two most common scenarios areforgetting the name instantaneously upon being introduced to someone new, and failing to recallthe name of someone you've met and interacted with in the past and should know but just can't

pull up from your memory bank.

Forgetting names becomes more than just an embarrassing social faux pas in sales. Straining torecall a name can so preoccupy you that you are unable to fully pay attention to your client or

prospect. H e or she may perceive you not only as unfocused and easily distracted, but also as notvery bright if you're unable to devote your full attention to him or her. Even worse, if you forgetthe name of a client with whom you've worked in the past, he or she may view your memorylapse as a betrayal of trust, which can cost you a great deal of money if that client severs therelationship.

I ntegrating Learning Styles to I mprove N ame Recall

While common, this frustrating phenomenon can be relatively easy to overcome when youcommit to taking steps to improve your memory. The most important key to really effectivelearning of any kind is understanding that there are three learning styles: visual, auditory, andkinesthetic (physically interactive). The more you can apply all three of these styles to a task, themore quickly and solidly you will learn anything.

Practice each of the following steps to improve your name recollection in every sales and social


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situation.

When you're first introduced to someone, look closely at his or her face and try to find somethingunique about it. Whether you find a distinctive quality or not is irrelevant; by really looking for amemorable characteristic in a new face, you're incorporating the visual learning style. And a

word of advice: if you do find something that really stands out about someone's face, don't sayanything! Within minutes of meeting someone new, it's generally a bad idea to exclaim, "Whoa!That's a huge nose!"

The next step utilizes both auditory and kinesthetic learning styles. When you meet someone,slow down for five seconds, and concentrate on listening to him or her. Focus on the prospectand repeat his or her name back in a conversational manner, such as "Susan. N ice to meet you,Susan." Also make sure to give a good firm handshake, which establishes a physical connectionwith the prospect.

Creating a mental picture of someone's name incorporates the visual sense again. Many people

have names that already are pictures: consider Robin, Jay, Matt, or Dawn to name just a few.Some names will require you to play with them a bit to create a picture. Ken, for example, maynot bring an immediate image to your mind, but a "can" is very close. Or you might envision aKen doll. The point is not to create the best, most creative mental image ever, so don't get caughtup in your head during this step of the process, thinking, "Oh, that's not a very good picture.What's a better one?" The worst thing you can do when learning is to stress yourself out andoverthink the process. I f an image doesn't come to you right away, skip it and do it later. You'llundo all of your good efforts if you're staring dumbly at your prospect, insisting, " H ey. H old stillfor a minute while I try to turn your name into a picture!"

Once you've identified a mental image that you associate with a person's name, the next step is to"glue" that image to the person's face or upper body. This bridges that gap many peopleexperience between being able to recall faces but not the names that belong to those faces. I f youmet a new prospect named Rosalind, for example, you might have broken her name down intothe memorable image of "rose on land." N ow you must create a mental picture that will stick with you as long as you need it and pop into your head every time you meet her; this should besomething fun, even a little odd, that will bring "rose on land" to mind when you see her face.You might imagine her buried up to her neck in earth, with roses scattered around her, for example. Because you created the image, it will come up next time you see her and enable you torecall her name.

At the end of the conversation, integrate auditory learning by repeating the prospect's name onemore time, but don't ever overuse someone's name in an effort to place it more firmly in your mind. Use the prospect's name only right at the beginning of the conversation, and then again atthe end; if you feel like you can do so naturally, you might insert someone's name once or twicein a natural fashion during the course of the conversation, too. But if you've ever had astereotypically pushy salesperson use your name a dozen times in a five minute conversation,you know how annoying, even weird, this can be, so don't overdo it.

Writing is a form of kinesthetic learning - you're getting a part of your body involved in the


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learning process - so if you're really serious about wanting to remember people's names for thelong term, keep a name journal or a log of important people you meet, and review it periodically.Forget Me N ot: I t's the Effort That Matters Most

The most important thing to know about this memory process is that even when it doesn't work,

it still works! For example, if you get stuck trying to make a picture out of someone's name, skipit for now. The next day, when you have a chance, give the matter a few minutes of concentratedthought. I f you still can't get a picture, stop and take up the matter a week later. Even if you'restill unsuccessful at creating a mental image, you've thought about the prospect's name so much,there's now no way you'll ever forget it! So you've actually accomplished what you set to do inthe first place.

People can't remember names for one main reason: they're just not paying attention. This processforces you to think. I f, for example, you struggle with the step of creating a mental picture, theother steps - looking at the prospect closely, shaking his or her hand confidently and repeatingthe name a few times - are easy to do, will solidify the name in your memory, and will ultimately

convey a positive image of you to clients and prospects. That positive image will certainly makeyou memorable to prospects, enabling you to close more deals and increase your bottom line.

About the Author:

Roger Seip is the President of Freedom Speakers and Trainers, a company that specializes inmemory training. Workshops are presented all over the country. To learn more, visitwww.deliverfreedom.com , call 888-233-0407, or e-mail [email protected]

By Roger Seip Ads by Google Study Psychology in USA Find and Apply to TOP US Psychology Schools through Learn H ub Psychology.Learn H ub.com Watch the AC360 Videos Where Truth Got in the Way of an Agenda. FreedomMag.org/AC360_Videos Planning to Study in UK? Search & Apply for Top UK Colleges. Know Everything Before You Join!MingleBox.com/Study-in-UK

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The Habit of Identity


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I n a famous experiment, students were asked to take a lemon home and to get used to it. Threedays later, they were able to single out "their" lemon from a pile of rather similar ones. Theyseemed to have bonded. I s this the true meaning of love, bonding, coupling? Do we simply getused to other human beings, pets, or objects.

Habit forming in humans is reflexive. We change ourselves and our environment in order toattain maximum comfort and well being. I t is the effort that goes into these adaptive processes

that forms a habit. The habit is intended to prevent us from constant experimenting and risk taking. The greater our well being, the better we function and the longer we survive.

Actually, when we get used to something or to someone we get used to ourselves. I n the objectof the habit we see a part of our history, all the time and effort that we put into it. I t is anencapsulated version of our acts, intentions, emotions and reactions. I t is a mirror reflecting back at us that part in us, which formed the habit. H ence, the feeling of comfort: we really feelcomfortable with our own selves through the agency of the object of our habit.

Because of this, we tend to confuse habits with identity.If asked W

HO they are, most peoplewill resort to describing their habits. They will relate to their work, their loved ones, their pets,

their hobbies, or their material possessions. Yet, all of these cannot constitute part of an identity because their removal does not change the identity that we are seeking to establish when weenquire W H O someone is. They are habits and they make the respondent comfortable andrelaxed. But they are not part of his identity in the truest, deepest sense.

Still, it is this simple mechanism of deception that binds people together. A mother feels that her off spring are part of her identity because she is so used to them that her well being depends ontheir existence and availability. Thus, any threat to her children is interpreted to mean a threat onher Self. H er reaction is, therefore, strong and enduring and can be recurrently elicited.

The truth, of course, is that her children ARE a part of her identity in a superficial manner.Removing her will make her a different person, but only in the shallow, phenomenological sensef the word. H er deep-set, true identity will not change as a result. Children do die at times andtheir mother does go on living, essentially unchanged.

But what is this kernel of identity that I am referring to? This immutable entity which is thedefinition of who we are and what we are and which, ostensibly, is not influenced by the death of our loved ones? What is so strong as to resist the breaking of habits that die hard?

I t is our personality. This elusive, loosely interconnected, interacting, pattern of reactions to our changing environment. Like the Brain, it is difficult to define or to capture. Like the Soul, many

believe that it does not exist, that it is a fictitious convention. Yet, we know that we do have a personality. We feel it, we experience it. I t sometimes encourages us to do things at other times, as much as prevents us from doing them. I t can be supple or rigid, benign or malignant,open or closed. I ts power lies in its looseness. I t is able to combine, recombine and permute inhundreds of unforeseeable ways. I t metamorphesizes and the constancy of its rate and kind of change is what gives us a sense of identity.


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Actually, when the personality is rigid to the point of being unable to change in reaction tochanging circumstances we say that it is disordered. A personality Disorder is the ultimatemisidentification. The individual mistakes his habits for his identity. H e identifies himself withhis environment, taking behavioural, emotional, and cognitive cues exclusively from it. H is inner world is, so to speak, vacated, inhabited, as it were, by the apparition of his True Self.

Such a person is incapable of loving and of living. H e is incapable of loving because to love (atleast according to our model) is to equate and collate two distinct entities: one's Self and one'shabits. The personality disordered sees no distinction. H e I S his habits and, therefore, bydefinition, can only rarely and with an incredible amount of exertion, change them. And, in thelong term, he is incapable of living because life is a struggle TOWARDS, a striving, a drive ATsomething. I n other words: life is change. H e who cannot change, cannot live.

W hat If You W ere Intuitive?When you understand what your intuition is and apply a few simple techniques, you can make it

powerful and useful.

You Already Are Intuitive

Think back to a time when you had a hunch about something. That was intuition. I t is nothingmore than your mind using more than what you are consciously aware of. But how do you trustyour intuition? H ow can you improve it and use it? First, understand what it is.

Gary Kasparov can play and beat the best chess computer. H ow is this possible when thecomputer can calculate positions many moves further ahead than he can. I t is because of hisintuitive grasp of the game. Experience allows him to combine analysis with a "sense" of whichmove is best.

I ntuition also works as a warning device. My wife and I both felt we shoudn't get on that bus inCuenca, Ecuador. Psychic? N ot at all. We knew crowded busses were prime locations for

pickpockets. We saw the drunk man bumping into people. We didn't think about these thingsconsciously, but they registered in our minds, and warned us. Unfortunately, we ignored our intuition, and I was robbed.

Of course, a strong hunch can be for irrelevant reasons too. I f you were hit by a blue taxi as achild, you might have "intuitive" hunches not to get into blue taxis for the rest of your life. So


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Enlarge I mage H ave you ever used your intuition to solve problems? Can you trust your intuition? Can you

improve it?W hat Is Intuition?

I ntuition is simply a feeling , sense, or hunch based on information not available to your conscious mind. Some say this comes from the ether or wherever, but I 'm content to believe thatour minds have a lot more going on in there than we know.

H ow can Gary Kasparov win a chess game against a computer that can calculate positions manymoves further ahead than he can? By using his intuitive grasp of the game. H is experience allowshim to combine analysis with a "sense" of which move is best.

I ntuition can also warn us. My wife and I felt we shoudn't get on that bus in South America. Weknew crowded busses were prime hunting grounds for pickpockets, and we saw the drunk man

bumping into people. We didn't think about these things consciously, but they registered in our minds, and warned us. We ignored our intuition, and I was robbed.

Of course, you can have a hunch for irrelevant reasons too. I f you were hit by a taxi as a child,you might have "intuitive" hunches not to get into taxis for the rest of your life. So how do youknow when to trust your intuition?

Three Simple Steps To B etter Intuition

1. Watch for it. You'll have hunches and ideas more often. I bought a conversion van, and now I see them all over. H ave you had a similar experience? The same process will happen if youwatch for your intuition - you'll start to see more of it.

2. Question it. I f I had asked myself why I felt bad about that bus, I might have thought, "Ohyeah, crowded busses are a bad idea. I know that." Try to see in which areas your intuition works

best, or not at all. I f, for example, your hunches about people are always wrong, don't follow


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them.

3. Give it good information. Your skill, knowledge and experience determine the potentialeffectiveness of your intuition. A weak chess player will never intuitively beat that computer. Solearn enough about a subject, before you expect any good hunches. Remember the programmer's

maxim: garbage in - garbage out.

Do these three things and you'll have more useful intuition more often.

Creative M emory TricksI f you looked at fifteen things on a table, could you remember what they were an hour later? Youcan with a simple technique.

Enlarge I mage What's the biggest problem with memory tricks? Remembering to use them, of course. There aremany memory techniques that work well, but you'll forget them when you need them most -unless you make using them a habit. So when you take the time to learn a technique, use it untilit becomes automatic. H ere are some to try.

Using a Story-List


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I went to a party as a child. There was a game that involved looking at a table covered in 15various items. After a few minutes, we were taken to another room, and each child was given

paper and a pencil. We had to write down as many items as we could remember. I recalled sevenor eight, but one boy won the prize by remembering all 15 items.

Years later I learned why he won. H is father taught him a simple trick that none of us other kidsknew. The technique is to tie the items together in an imaginative story. For example, what if youwant to remember a list of the following things: Soap, milk, honey, fork, and flowers.

Start a vivid story in your imagination, adding each item to it as you go: At the sink, you reachfor the SOAP. The soap dish is full of M I LK, so you wash your hands in that. Then you combH O N EY into your hair with a FORK, and finally pick up a bouquet of FLOWERS and smile atthe mirror. Say each item while mentally reviewing your "movie," and you'll remember all fivethings, even the next day.

Some OtherM

emory Tricks Tell yourself to remember. When you learn a person's name, for example, tell yourself,"remember that". This signals your unconscious mind to rank this input as more important.

Know W H Y you want to remember something, and H OW you'll remember it. To remember a person, for example, ask why they'll be important to you in the future, imagine where you'll seethem next, and connect that to anything you notice about them. Seeing the importance of remembering really helps, and additional associations (where you expect to see the person next)set the memory more firmly in your brain.

Do you ever forget where you put your car keys? You've probably tried retracing your steps, atleast doing it in your imagination. This can work well, but even better is to prevent the forgetting

beforehand. When you set the keys on the chair, see yourself walking in and setting the keys onthe chair. You won't forget where they are.

There are many more of these memory tricks. I f you want them to be useful, though, don't justread about them. Make a memory technique or two into a habit, starting today.

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight,meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck andanything related to self improvement. You'll find more at http://www.Self I mprovement N ow.com

The Psychology of Torture


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There is one place in which one's privacy, intimacy, integrity and inviolability are guaranteed -one's body, a unique temple and a familiar territory of sensa and personal history. The torturer invades, defiles and desecrates this shrine. H e does so publicly, deliberately, repeatedly and,often, sadistically and sexually, with undisguised pleasure. H ence the all-pervasive, long-lasting,and, frequently, irreversible effects and outcomes of torture.

I n a way, the torture victim's own body is rendered his worse enemy. I t is corporeal agony thatcompels the sufferer to mutate, his identity to fragment, his ideals and principles to crumble. The

body becomes an accomplice of the tormentor, an uninterruptible channel of communication, atreasonous, poisoned territory.

I t fosters a humiliating dependency of the abused on the perpetrator. Bodily needs denied - sleep,toilet, food, water - are wrongly perceived by the victim as the direct causes of his degradationand dehumanization. As he sees it, he is rendered bestial not by the sadistic bullies around him

but by his own flesh.

The concept of "body" can easily be extended to "family", or "home". Torture is often applied tokin and kith, compatriots, or colleagues. This intends to disrupt the continuity of "surroundings,habits, appearance, relations with others", as the C I A put it in one of its manuals. A sense of cohesive self-identity depends crucially on the familiar and the continuous. By attacking bothone's biological body and one's "social body", the victim's psyche is strained to the point of dissociation.

Beatrice Patsalides describes this transmogrification thus in "Ethics of the unspeakable: Torturesurvivors in psychoanalytic treatment":

"As the gap between the ' I ' and the 'me' deepens, dissociation and alienation increase. The subjectthat, under torture, was forced into the position of pure object has lost his or her sense of interiority, intimacy, and privacy. Time is experienced now, in the present only, and perspective- that which allows for a sense of relativity - is foreclosed. Thoughts and dreams attack the mindand invade the body as if the protective skin that normally contains our thoughts, gives us spaceto breathe in between the thought and the thing being thought about, and separates betweeninside and outside, past and present, me and you, was lost."

Torture robs the victim of the most basic modes of relating to reality and, thus, is the equivalentof cognitive death. Space and time are warped by sleep deprivation. The self (" I ") is shattered.The tortured have nothing familiar to hold on to: family, home, personal belongings, loved ones,language, name. Gradually, they lose their mental resilience and sense of freedom. They feelalien - unable to communicate, relate, attach, or empathize with others.

Torture splinters early childhood grandiose narcissistic fantasies of uniqueness, omnipotence,invulnerability, and impenetrability. But it enhances the fantasy of merger with an idealized andomnipotent (though not benign) other - the inflicter of agony. The twin processes of individuation and separation are reversed.

Torture is the ultimate act of perverted intimacy. The torturer invades the victim's body, pervades


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his psyche, and possesses his mind. Deprived of contact with others and starved for humaninteractions, the prey bonds with the predator. "Traumatic bonding", akin to the Stockholmsyndrome, is about hope and the search for meaning in the brutal and indifferent and nightmarishuniverse of the torture cell.

The abuser becomes the black hole at the center of the victim's surrealistic galaxy, sucking in thesufferer's universal need for solace. The victim tries to "control" his tormentor by becoming onewith him (introjecting him) and by appealing to the monster's presumably dormant humanity andempathy.

This bonding is especially strong when the torturer and the tortured form a dyad and"collaborate" in the rituals and acts of torture (for instance, when the victim is coerced intoselecting the torture implements and the types of torment to be inflicted, or to choose betweentwo evils).

The psychologist Shirley Spitz offers this powerful overview of the contradictory nature of

torture in a seminar titled "The Psychology of Torture" (1989):"Torture is an obscenity in that it joins what is most private with what is most public. Tortureentails all the isolation and extreme solitude of privacy with none of the usual security embodiedtherein ... Torture entails at the same time all the self exposure of the utterly public with none of its possibilities for camaraderie or shared experience. (The presence of an all powerful other withwhom to merge, without the security of the other's benign intentions.)

A further obscenity of torture is the inversion it makes of intimate human relationships. Theinterrogation is a form of social encounter in which the normal rules of communicating, of relating, of intimacy are manipulated. Dependency needs are elicited by the interrogator, but notso they may be met as in close relationships, but to weaken and confuse. I ndependence that isoffered in return for "betrayal" is a lie. Silence is intentionally misinterpreted either asconfirmation of information or as guilt for 'complicity'.

Torture combines complete humiliating exposure with utter devastating isolation. The final products and outcome of torture are a scarred and often shattered victim and an empty display of the fiction of power."

Obsessed by endless ruminations, demented by pain and a continuum of sleeplessness - thevictim regresses, shedding all but the most primitive defense mechanisms: splitting, narcissism,dissociation, projective identification, introjection, and cognitive dissonance. The victimconstructs an alternative world, often suffering from depersonalization and derealization,hallucinations, ideas of reference, delusions, and psychotic episodes.

Sometimes the victim comes to crave pain - very much as self-mutilators do - because it is a proof and a reminder of his individuated existence otherwise blurred by the incessant torture.Pain shields the sufferer from disintegration and capitulation. I t preserves the veracity of hisunthinkable and unspeakable experiences.


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This dual process of the victim's alienation and addiction to anguish complements the perpetrator's view of his quarry as "inhuman", or "subhuman". The torturer assumes the positionof the sole authority, the exclusive fount of meaning and interpretation, the source of both eviland good.

Torture is about reprogramming the victim to succumb to an alternative exegesis of the world, proffered by the abuser. I t is an act of deep, indelible, traumatic indoctrination. The abused alsoswallows whole and assimilates the torturer's negative view of him and often, as a result, isrendered suicidal, self-destructive, or self-defeating.

Thus, torture has no cutoff date. The sounds, the voices, the smells, the sensations reverberatelong after the episode has ended - both in nightmares and in waking moments. The victim'sability to trust other people - i.e., to assume that their motives are at least rational, if notnecessarily benign - has been irrevocably undermined. Social institutions are perceived as

precariously poised on the verge of an ominous, Kafkaesque mutation. N othing is either safe, or credible anymore.

Victims typically react by undulating between emotional numbing and increased arousal:insomnia, irritability, restlessness, and attention deficits. Recollections of the traumatic eventsintrude in the form of dreams, night terrors, flashbacks, and distressing associations.

The tortured develop compulsive rituals to fend off obsessive thoughts. Other psychologicalsequelae reported include cognitive impairment, reduced capacity to learn, memory disorders,sexual dysfunction, social withdrawal, inability to maintain long-term relationships, or even mereintimacy, phobias, ideas of reference and superstitions, delusions, hallucinations, psychoticmicroepisodes, and emotional flatness.

Depression and anxiety are very common. These are forms and manifestations of self-directedaggression. The sufferer rages at his own victimhood and resulting multiple dysfunction. H efeels shamed by his new disabilities and responsible, or even guilty, somehow, for his

predicament and the dire consequences borne by his nearest and dearest. H is sense of self-worthand self-esteem are crippled.

I n a nutshell, torture victims suffer from a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Their strongfeelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame are also typical of victims of childhood abuse, domesticviolence, and rape. They feel anxious because the perpetrator's behavior is seemingly arbitraryand unpredictable - or mechanically and inhumanly regular.

They feel guilty and disgraced because, to restore a semblance of order to their shattered worldand a modicum of dominion over their chaotic life, they need to transform themselves into thecause of their own degradation and the accomplices of their tormentors.

The C I A, in its " H uman Resource Exploitation Training Manual - 1983" (reprinted in the April1997 issue of H arper's Magazine), summed up the theory of coercion thus:

"The purpose of all coercive techniques is to induce psychological regression in the subject by


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bringing a superior outside force to bear on his will to resist. Regression is basically a loss of autonomy, a reversion to an earlier behavioral level. As the subject regresses, his learned

personality traits fall away in reverse chronological order. H e begins to lose the capacity to carryout the highest creative activities, to deal with complex situations, or to cope with stressfulinterpersonal relationships or repeated frustrations."

I nevitably, in the aftermath of torture, its victims feel helpless and powerless. This loss of controlover one's life and body is manifested physically in impotence, attention deficits, and insomnia.This is often exacerbated by the disbelief many torture victims encounter, especially if they areunable to produce scars, or other "objective" proof of their ordeal. Language cannotcommunicate such an intensely private experience as pain.

Spitz makes the following observation:

"Pain is also unsharable in that it is resistant to language ... All our interior states of consciousness: emotional, perceptual, cognitive and somatic can be described as having an object

in the external world ... This affirms our capacity to move beyond the boundaries of our bodyinto the external, sharable world. This is the space in which we interact and communicate withour environment. But when we explore the interior state of physical pain we find that there is noobject "out there" - no external, referential content. Pain is not of, or for, anything. Pain is. And itdraws us away from the space of interaction, the sharable world, inwards. I t draws us into the

boundaries of our body."

Bystanders resent the tortured because they make them feel guilty and ashamed for having donenothing to prevent the atrocity. The victims threaten their sense of security and their much-needed belief in predictability, justice, and rule of law. The victims, on their part, do not believethat it is possible to effectively communicate to "outsiders" what they have been through. Thetorture chambers are "another galaxy". This is how Auschwitz was described by the author K.Zetnik in his testimony in the Eichmann trial in Jerusalem in 1961.

Kenneth Pope in "Torture", a chapter he wrote for the "Encyclopedia of Women and Gender: SexSimilarities and Differences and the I mpact of Society on Gender", quotes H arvard psychiatristJudith H erman:

"I t is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. H e appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. Thevictim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demandsaction, engagement, and remembering."

But, more often, continued attempts to repress fearful memories result in psychosomatic illnesses(conversion). The victim wishes to forget the torture, to avoid re-experiencing the often lifethreatening abuse and to shield his human environment from the horrors. I n conjunction with thevictim's pervasive distrust, this is frequently interpreted as hypervigilance, or even paranoia. I tseems that the victims can't win. Torture is forever.Philosophical Musings and Essays Essays about current topics in philosophy.


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W hat is positive psychology?Learn about positive psychology.

Enlarge I mage H uman psychology is always painted negative and as a study of negative human behavior;

basically we perceive psychology as a sign of trouble, and thus attempt to correlate it to suchdestructive issues like depression, psychosis, unhappiness, mental disorders and mania. Sadlymost of the clinical examinations also tend to look at psychology, as something that is a maladyand most of the treatment attempts are aimed at treating the disease than stopping them fromhappening. Thus there is a pressing need for a new, revived way of looking at the old concept of

psychology. Also called "Positive Psychology", this area is more concerned with the sunnier sideof psychology, which is the area of those people, who are happy and move with confidence,wherever they go and whatever they do. Positive psychology may shed more light on why some

people behave in such a pleasing manner and how they have developed that trait. Ultimately, thisintense study may help us to find a lasting cure for many of our negative psychologicalconditions and other eccentric behaviors.

Positive Psychology is a new attempt to redefine and readjust the existing disparity or imbalance,to encourage and support psychologists to try and attempt to contribute to positive aspects of human life, not only just perform something about negative things. Being a new branch of

psychology, this field is still in its infant stage and is hotly contested for its veracity and

advantages, by both detractors and supporters. Some of them tend to neglect this new theory,while others vouch for its authenticity. Many of them never believe in the concept of joy, love,

positive talk, optimism and love, while others see a broad daylight in professing the techniquesof all good human behavior to cure any psychological malady.

N ew theories of positive psychology condemns the traditional practice of treating psychological patients as mere numbers or objects, and also the supporters of the new theory disapprove thecurrent methods of approaching a sensitive issue as important as psychology. Many experts who


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support the positive psychology theory have varied ideas about what actual psychology is andhow it can best be researched to solve many perennial problems. H owever, these experts areunited by a view that, normal human beings possess excellent qualities, and that we can still becapable enough to make better choices about what we believe and do, in spite of all thoseunfortunate events, occurred due to reasons beyond our control or by factors of our genetic

disposition.

Positive psychology often relies heavily on the principle of optimism, which is a cherished positive parameter of human excellence. There is remarkable evidence that optimistic people areusually happier and highly productive than ultra pessimists. Optimism can also be taught andlearned by human beings. According to the new theory, there tends to be a positive flow of things in those people who are highly optimistic and cheerful. This flow is usually not checked inthem, in any manner, at any time and thus this set of positive flow causes a person to be tougher mentally and psychologically. Positive psychology and its application may take a while to beuniversally accepted for clinical practice.

The Purpose of ShameH ave you tried unsuccessfully to heal your shame? Discover how shame and control areintricately tied together, and that when you give up your attachment to control, you will find your shame disappearing.

Many people on a healing path have found it extremely challenging to heal their shame. Yetwhen you understand the purpose of shame, you will be able to move beyond it.

Shame is the feeling that there is something basically wrong with you. Whereas the feeling of guilt is about DO IN G something wrong, shame is about BE IN G wrong at the core. The feelingof shame comes from the belief that, " I am basically flawed, inadequate, wrong, bad,unimportant, undeserving, or not good enough."

At some early point in our lives, most of us absorbed this false belief that causes the feeling of shame. As a result of not feeling seen, loved, valued, and understood, we developed the belief

that we were not being loved because there was something wrong with us. While some childrenwere told outright that they were not okay that they were stupid, bad, or undeserving other children concluded that there was something wrong with them by the way they were beingtreated.

Once we establish our core shame belief, we become addicted to it because it serves us in two primary ways:


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1) I t gives us a feeling of control over other peoples feelings and behavior.

As long as we believe that we are the cause of others rejecting behavior, then we can believethat there is something we can do about it. I t gives us a sense of power to believe that others arerejecting us or behaving in unloving ways because of our inadequacy. I f is our fault, then maybe

we can do something about it by changing ourselves, by doing things "right." We hang on to the belief that our inadequacy is causing others behavior because we dont want to accept othersfree will to feel and behave however they want. We dont want to accept our helplessness over others feelings and behavior.

2) I t protects us from other feelings that we are afraid to feel, and gives us a sense of control over our own feelings.

As bad as shame feels, many people prefer it to the feelings that shame may be covering up loneliness, grief, sadness, sorrow, or helplessness over others. Just as anger may be a cover-upfor these difficult feelings, so is shame. Shame is totally different than loneliness or grief or

helplessness over others: While shame is a feeling that we are causing by our own false beliefs,loneliness, grief, sadness, sorrow, or helplessness over others are existential feelings - feelingsthat are a natural result of life. We feel grief over losing someone we love, or loneliness when wewant to connect with someone or play with someone and there is no one around or no one opento connection, love or play. Many people would rather feel an awful feeling that they arecausing, rather than feel the authentic painful feelings of life.

I f you are finding it difficult to move beyond shame, it is because you are addicted to the feelingof control that your shame-based beliefs give you control over others feelings and behavior and control over your own authentic feelings. As long as having the control is most important toyou, you will not let go of your false core shame beliefs.

You will heal from your shame when:

1) You are willing to accept that others feelings and behavior have nothing to do with you.When you accept that others have free will to be open or closed, loving or unloving - that you arenot the cause of their feelings and behavior and you no longer take others behavior personally -you will have no need to control it. When you let go of your need to control others and insteadmove into compassion for others, you will let go of your false beliefs about yourself that causethe feeling of shame.

2) You are willing to feel your authentic feelings rather than cover them up with anger or shame.When you learn to nurture yourself by being present with caring and compassion for your ownexistential feelings, you will no longer have a need to protect against these feelings with blameor shame.

Control and shame are intricately tied together. When you give up your attachment to control andinstead choose compassion toward yourself and others, you will find your shame disappearing.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I


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H ave To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and " H ealing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful I nner Bonding healing process. Learn I nner Bonding now! Visit her website for a FREE I nner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her [email protected] . Phone Sessions Available.

M emory In Learning Just How Does It AllW ork?Understanding what memory is and how it works may encourage some who are frustrated byeven minor memory lapses. I n this excerpt from his book, Dr. Brian Walsh discusses types of

memory, how emotions affect memory, and how memory decay can be combated.

Enlarge I mage I f all the data received by our senses were stored in our memory, we would soon beoverwhelmed. The subconscious mind sorts through the input, and retains only a fraction for long-term memory storage. Every second, the eyes absorb ten million bits of information, theskin takes in a million bits, and the ears receive one-hundred thousand bits. Of these millions of

bits processed, only about forty of them reach the conscious mind. Data that are not deleted aresorted and filtered by the subconscious mind. N ext, they are either sent to the conscious mind, or encoded for medium and permanent memory storage.

The active brain can "remember" things that actually did not happen, or that are not correct. Ask

any police officer who has interviewed witnesses. The mind makes assumptions in order to link events. People "remember" words that are implicit or not stated, with the same probability asexplicit words. Studies with fMR I (functional magnetic resonance imaging) have demonstratedthat the same brain areas are activated during questions and answers about both true and falseevents. This may explain why false memories can seem so compelling to an individual reportingthe events.Types of Memory.


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Remembering is the storing of memories, and the later recalling of them. I ts a biological processthat involves dedicated brain structures. When a memory is encoded, it is dismembered andhanded off to different parts of the brain for storage. Getting all these pieces back together is aninaccurate process. H ence, RE-membering is not perfect. Knowing that memories are formed indifferent categories, and that they move between categories, can help in developing strategies for

improving memory and learning.

There are two broad categories of memory: non-conscious, and conscious. The latter includes both short-term, and long-term memory.

N on-conscious memory takes two forms. One of these, implicit memory, automatically storesexperience and concepts, and plays a role unconsciously in affecting perception and behavior.These memories are the basis for forming an individuals view of society, and his or her place init. The other form, muscle memory, plays a role in the mechanical execution of a series of motions, as in riding a bike or playing a musical instrument, learned through repetition over time.

Conscious short-term memory is the working memory. I t's a place for stuff that you need to

hang on to for only a short time. Maintaining information for only a few seconds, it enables us toremember a current thought, and so, for instance, take part in a conversation, keep a lecture incontext as it progresses, or maintain the thread of a story or movie.

Conscious long-term memory: Although stored in our unconscious mind, this memory is of theevents and facts that we can consciously recall and verbally describe. I t includes that of words,symbols, and general knowledge about our perception of the workings of the world. I nformationof a personal nature, something witnessed or experienced, is better remembered when associatedwith emotion.

The brain links information unconsciously. You can purposefully help to maximize this effect.As you perceive new input, match it as best possible to material already in your memory, byusing images, sounds, key words, and concept maps. A vital ingredient for memory is reviewing,and it is effective only when done at specific times after absorbing the information; for instanceafter one hour, one day, one week, and six months.

The brain thrives on challenge and complexity, and its primary drive is survival. I t needs tosurvive socially, economically, emotionally, and physically. The brain is pre-wired to learn and,if optimum conditions are not present, employees may learn to fear change in the workplace, andstudents may learn to fear subjects like math. I t is the management of emotions that giveslearners greater command over their learning. Overwhelming stress has a detrimental effect.Researchers have evidence that high stress experienced by a pregnant woman can distress thefetus, resulting in learning difficulties for the child later in life. Among infants and toddlers, highand chronic levels of stress can make learning more difficult, perhaps even shrinking the part of the brain associated with memory.

Tips to Remembering

I magine that I recite to you a list to you of thirty items. I then ask you to write them down after I finish. You would remember things that are:

at the beginning of the list


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UnUsUaL repeated, repeated at the end of the list

The remembering of the first and last items is helped by what is known respectively as their

primacy and recency. Every study session has primacy and recency opportunities.If you studyfor one hour, then take a break, you get one of each. I f you study for twenty-five minutes, take a

short break, then study another twenty-five minutes, you get double the primacy and recencyevents. H ow great is that?

As mentioned earlier, memory is not stored in a single location in the brain. I t is deconstructedand distributed all over the cortex. The emotional content is stored in the amygdala, visualimages in the occipital lobes, memory of the source in the frontal lobes, and venue is stored inthe parietal lobes. Remembering is actually an act of reconstruction.

Memory Decay, or loss of remembered events, is a natural phenomenon as new experiences

displace existing memories. You can easily counteract this loss of learned material through periodic review.

A greater variety of input streams from eyes, ears, tactile, and emotion allow for more pathwaysto exist for dynamic reconstruction, thus creating richer memory. Multi-modal instruction makesa lot of sense. Accelerated Learning addresses the need.

To get a handle on just how unlimited our ability to learn is, multiply the number of neurons (10 billion) by the number of branch spines (10 million) by the number of dendrite spiny protuberances possible on each spine (100 million). The result indicates how many newconnections are possible when learning. Using this size font, the answer is a "1" followed byzeros that extend for some 6.2 million miles. The capacity of our memory is virtually unlimited.

An Integrated Development Environment

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