Alterations along the way

Alterations along the way

Jodie Foster –PiliaAbigail Menzies

Laura CukPamela Younes

Documentary alterations

Draft 1

The audience said..

-There was too many shots of London-Presenter’s clothing didn’t match the documentary topic-The audience disliked the location of the presenter-They also didn’t like the way the presenter looks directly at the camera-The title doesn’t match the topic of the documentary -They liked the location of the public interview but place the interviewees against a wall

Targets -Reduce shots of London-Change the presenter’s clothing to something dark and less distracting-Change location of presenter’s scenes-Ensure the title and topic of the documentary matches-Change location of the expert interview so the background isn’t distracting-Get more shots for the experiment to

What you changed from previous draft?Why?

N/A

Draft 2

The audience said..

-Presenter’s clothing still didn’t match topic of documentary-The background of the scene with the sociologist doesn’t look professional-Statistic was a bit random and didn’t link to topic-The location of the presenter was distracting and too noisy

Targets -Don’t film in a park-Make the 1 minute introduction clear-improve editing skills in experiments-Change clothing of the presenter-Film during the day to get better lighting


-Changed presenter’s clothing to a greenish jumper and a grey jacket because the pastel colours she wore before was distracting-Change location to a bigger park so we could have people walking in the background-included shot reverse shot on experiment so it flows better-Used titles to introduce the experiment participants

Draft 3

The audience said..

-Title ‘Games vs Reality’ doesn’t link to video game topic-Liked the way how we used go animate to introduce different genres in the 1 min intro-The brick wall in the public interviews looked weird-The background in the mid shot of the participant of experiment is distracting

Targets -Better lighting for the experiment-Cut down on archival footage-Refilm the public interviews elsewhere-Film the participants on a blank wall so the background isn’t distracting


-Changed location of the presenter to a canal as the previous locations were noisy-Included subtitles to make the 1 min intro clearer-Filmed the sociologist at a different angle so we wouldn’t get the distracting background-Got more public interviews so we could balance out our own footage with archival footage-Included a brief history of video games

Draft 4

The audience said…

-The expert interview in the montage doesn’t fit in-They liked our use of a split screen in the experiment-The wind in the public interviews is distracting-Public interviews are a bit long-Go animate doesn’t fit into topic-Liked our use of transitions

Targets -Refilm some of the public interviews-Ask the public more focused questions so their responses are shorter-Include more clips at beginning of montage-Make sure go animate links more to the topic


-Got clips of people using technology rather than random clips of London-We didn’t have the presenter introduce the expert interview

Ancillary alterationsMagazine DPS & newspaper advert

Draft 1


-The picture in the advert looks grainy-The colour scheme doesn’t link to video games-There’s too much space around the pull quote-Both pictures for the advert and DPS doesn’t link to topic of video games-They disliked the title for the advert

Targets -Use a different camera to take picture for advert-Avoiding using copyright images in the double page spread-Make the double page spread and advert more challenging


N/A

Draft 2


-Background of advert looks dark and a blurry-Couldn’t tell whether the person was suppose to be a video game character or not-Image in double page spread doesn’t link to video games-The title ‘Betrayed or Portrayed’ was catchy but doesn’t link to our documentary

Targets -Change the headline-Change colour scheme-Take the advert image in a different locatin


-Added in actual text rather than dummy text-Changed the colour scheme -Added the pull quote more professionally-Changed the photo for the advert

Draft 3


-Didn’t like the capital ‘D’ in the headline-Too much space after the standfirst-The layout for the DPS is basic-It doesn’t make sense why the characters are outside

Targets -Place the scheduling info and title in empty space-Take the advert images in a different location-Make the layout for the DPS more challenging-Change headline


-For better lighting we took the picture outside-Changed the colour scheme-To be more challenging we placed the pull quote over the primary image-We used two characters for our dps instead of one

Draft 4


-Liked the choice in colour scheme for the adverts-The double page spread is too busy, they don’t know where to look first-Characters in the dps shouldn’t look at the camera-DPS main image doesn’t look real

Targets -Change title for the advert-Take image for dps in a different location-Change the size of the logo in the tomb raider advert


-Took the dps image in an indoor setting as the outdoor setting is confusing-Tried to make the dps more challenging by changing the size of the font in the headline

Alterations along the way

Entertainment & Humor

Transcript of Alterations along the way