NICK NOTE

Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.- Hunter S. Thompson

BY NICK VUJICIC

elcome to the second issue of AIA digital magazine! We are so excited to bring you more inspiring and enlightening

stories to lift your spirits. Thank you for all of your kind comments and your enthusiasm for this new effort to reach people around the world with our messages of hope and encouragement. The theme of this second edition of AIA—Keep your heart in the game!—is near and dear to my heart because of two of the greatest events in my life: my marriage to Kanae, the love of my life, and, exactly one year and one day later, the birth of our first child, the amazing Kiyoshi!

Our bouncing baby boy is now two years old! Getting married and having a child is such a blessing and a joy! Sure, it’s hard work. But these past few years have taught me so much about love, namely, that as Hunter S. Thompson once said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing right.” I take that to mean that the best things in life - like marriage and parenting - require hard

work and a commitment to stay in it for the long haul. In other words, in order for me to be all in, I need to have my heart in the game.

When I saw Kiyoshi being born and he looked directly into my eyes with his electric baby blues, my world changed forever. My heart changed, too. When the nurse put him

on my chest to rest, we melded together. And now when he comes running to me and hugs me on his own, well, there is just nothing in the world like it.

An older friend of mine says that as her children grew up, she thought each stage—from infancy, to pre-school, to grade school, junior high, the teen years, and college age—was better than the previous stages. That is how I’m feeling about love as it has

“The best way to attract and find love is to give it away as freely as you can.”

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 01

progressed from the courtship stage, to marriage and family.

Kanae also has made me a much better person, and she says the same for me, though I’m not sure I believe that is possible. When both of us have our hearts in the game, we learn how to love each other better, which is another incredible blessing. In other words, we are committed to each other and complement one another in our strengths and weaknesses. As a result, we want to be better for each other and for our son and the other children we hope to bring into our family. By the way, baby number two is due later this year!

Having a child together really brought our hearts into the game even more. Our lives changed

dramatically and the way we love each other is deepened by the appreciation and gratitude we feel. At that stage you realize you have this lover and best friend and partner who also shares your love for your child and your extended family. And all of these good results are available to those who hold nothing back in nurturing the loving relationships you already have!

And there’s more! Your lives become deeply intertwined and putting the family’s interest above your own seems so natural that it requires no effort at all. You become partners with common goals and a common mission and direction. You may have different passions, but you also have many more

shared passions, including your devotion to your children. That’s what happens when hearts are all in for one another.

I am so grateful for our life together, in part, because I searched for love for so much of my life. Because of my disabilities, I wasn’t sure I’d ever find it. As I matured, I grew more aware of the fact that everyone deals with insecurities and hurts and rejection. It is part of our shared humanity. I also realized that because we are all insecure and vulnerable, the best way to attract and find love is to give it away as freely as you can.

So do not hold back. Give love without expectation and conditions. Guard your heart only from those

who’ve shown that they are not worthy of your trust and affection. Live, learn and love if that is what God has put in your heart. Know that you are worthy of love and let all of those within your reach know that the same is true for them. That requires hard work and sacrifice but results in lasting joy! Love is a miracle we all can share. Our hearts are in the game! Yours should be, too!

Love,Nick

“When I saw Kiyoshi being born and he looked directly into my eyes with his electric baby blues, my world changed forever. My heart changed, too. When the nurse put him on my chest to rest, we melded together. And now when he comes running to me and hugs me on his own, well, there is just nothing in the world like it.”

02 APRIL 2015

Summer is the season we’ve all

been waiting for. It’s 100 days

of high dives, ball games and

barbecues. It’s 100 ways to dress

a burger, catch some shade or

get out of town. It’s 100 chances

to clear the calendar for what’s

most important.

Every two seconds this summer,

someone like you will need blood.

Donating is quick and easy and,.

like all good things this time of

year, it’s worth celebrating.

What are your summer plans?

This summer, there are 100

chances to give hope. Choose

your day to help save three lives.

Donate blood.

Choose your day to give hope.

redcrossblood.org

days of summer.days of hope.100

FEATURES

CONTENT

HIGHLIGHTS

DAD’S HEART OF INFLUENCETom Ziglar, son of renowned motivational speaker Zig Ziglar, shares his father’s “secret” formula for motivating others.

THE HEART OF SUCCESSMotivational Speaker, author, and pastor, John Maxwell, offers us a break down and explanation of his process for success.

KEEP YOUR HEARTHEALTHYDr. Keisuke Miyahara talks about the risks of heart disease and the importance of keeping your heart healthy.

PROTECTING KIDS’ HEARTSDr. Mary Lamia discusses the fine line between love and infatuation and knowing the difference.

COOKING FROM THE HEARTDaniel Churchill shares with us a delicious recipe to cook for that special someone.

HEART TO HEART AUTHENTICITYDr. Randi Gunther shares the benefits of being up front and open when beginning a new relationship.

NICK NOTENick sends his warmest welcome from Attitude is Altitude Magazine.

CURRENTSSmiley, the Blind Therapy Dog, Jessica Cox the Armless Pilot, The Grace Factor and more!

THE HEART OF A MAN WHO WANTS

TO CHANGETHE WORLD

If you don’t know Shai Reshef, you should. Or, rather, you will. You see, Reshef is out to change the world. Through online education.

08

38

2406 22

30

36

18

14

00 41

GOOD WORKS FROM A HEART OF FAITHOne man’s discovery of his life’s avocation.

HAVING THE HEART TORISE ABOVEAustralian Idol pop star, Thanh Bui, and his rise to the top.

LEADERSHIP

06 APRIL 2015

BY TOM ZIGLAR

My late father, the motivational speaker and author Zig Ziglar, impacted and influenced millions of people around the world during his lifetime. He always had his heart in the game and was able to help others to greater potential. If you desire to influence those around you, and your motive is to leave a powerful, positive legacy, then you will benefit from the influence formula that Dad used.

I call it his “secret” formula because I don’t think he realized he was doing it. It’s just part of who he was and it came from deep inside him - from the heart. In fact, he was so skillful after years of training and thousands of speeches that influencing others came naturally to him.

You can have a similar impact! It doesn’t matter if you are working with someone one-on-one, in a small group, or speaking to a room of thousands, the formula for a heart of influence will work for you. And here it is.

The key to success is having a heart of influence - helping others keep their hearts in the game!

HOPE

Dad knew that without hope, people will not even try to better their lives. In a presentation, he would ask his audience members to raise their hands if there was anything they could do in the next week to make their personal, business, or family lives worse.

Then Dad would ask if there was anything they could do in the next week to make their lives better in those same areas.

Finally he would say: “Ladies and gentlemen, without realizing it, you have determined in your mind that you have the power to make things better or worse. The choice is yours.” This is where hope is born. The hopeless won’t even try. When you realize you can do something, however, you have hope, and action follows hope.

IDENTITY

Never underestimate the power of your personal story. In his speeches, Dad shared his personal story of being born in and raised in Yazoo City, Mississippi, during the Great Depression. He was the 10th of 12 kids. His father died when he was five. His mother had only a fifth grade education. Dad’s first job was selling peanuts on street corners at age six. He entered the Navy after high school and never finished college. In his first sales job he sold nothing for the first two and a half years.

After giving those unimpressive details, my Dad would say, “One day everything changed.”

At that point, people in the audience saw my father as an unremarkable person, so they often would think: “Well if he can be successful, maybe I can, too.” No longer was Zig Ziglar a celebrated motivational speaker with super powers. Audience members realized he was just a normal person who had overcome enormous challenges.

The people you are trying to influence need to know and relate to your story. They need to know it wasn’t always easy for you either; that you have scars,

that you have overcome great challenges, and that you have made some bad decisions along the way.

When they see the transparent, real you - when they can look into your heart - they can identify with you. When they identify with you, they will try what you recommend and get results.

WILL + SKILL

Dad believed that to be successful we all need to work on our Will and our Skill on a daily basis.

Will is the heart, the desire, the want-to, the passion, and the attitude.

Skill is the how-to, the process, the system, and the technique.

Success in anything we do requires both. Every day we need to fill our minds with things that build our Will and Skill, including positive books, CDs, seminars, and associating with positive, uplifting people. REFILL

Finally, don’t underestimate the need to Refill. Refill is the daily reminder we all need to remember to Refill our Will and Skill.

We should never stop learning or growing. Every day presents a new challenge. People who experience success year after year, and those with the most influential hearts - constantly Refill themselves with life-changing Will and Skill material. If your goal is to influence others in positive ways - whether it’s your family, your team, your company, a large audience or an individual - remember Hope, Identity, Will and Skill, and Refill. Emphasizing those key areas will help you and others keep your hearts in the game and committed to long-term success!

TOM ZIGLAR ser ve s as CEO of Ziglar Inc . For more information,

v is it z iglar.com or contact Tom at tz iglar @ziglar.com.

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 07

FEATURE

08 APRIL 2015

If you don’t know Shai Reshef, you should. Or, rather, you will. You see, Reshef is out to change the world. Through online education.

Reshef is the president and founder of Pasadena, California -based University of the People (UoPeople), the world’s first tuition-free online university. Started in 2009, UoPeople has so far admitted over 2,000 students from 150 countries around the world, offering degree programs in computer science and business administration. The year 2014 marked the university’s official accreditation as well as its first bachelor’s graduates. Three thousand volunteers, many

of them professors from the most prestigious universities in the nation, handle the teaching and academics. About a third of UoPeople students are from the U.S., but the rest come from other countries - some impoverished - where education is unavailable, culturally unacceptable, or financially impossible. With a simple application process and an Internet connection, any student willing to pay the $100 per exam fee can embark on a journey leading to an associate’s or bachelor’s degree. But more than merely gaining a degree, Reshef says UoPeople graduates are equipped to bring greater societal change around the world.

BY MARK RICHARDSON

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 09

10 APRIL 2015

His heart to see this through is as lofty as his goal for UoPeople: “If we give 100,000,000 students an education, our world will be a different world.”

Early indicators are that Reshef, an educational entrepreneur with over 25 years of experience in the international education market, is on the right track with UoPeople. He has been named one of Fast Company’s 100 Most Creative People in Business; selected by OneWorld as one of its ‘People of 2009’; awarded an Ashoka fellowship; joined UN-GAID as a High-level Adviser; granted membership in the Clinton Global Initiative; granted an RSA

Fellowship; selected by The Huffington Post as the Ultimate Game Changer in Education; nominated as one of Wired Magazine’s 50 People Changing the World; and selected as a Top Global Thinker by Foreign Policy Magazine.

Starting a university, let alone one that is staffed by thousands of volunteers and charges no tuition, is no small feat. And Reshef’s vision to educate 100,000,000 people is outrageous, in some degree. So in an exclusive telephone interview, AIA Magazine asked Reshef to provide a glimpse into his heart and how he will accomplish something that’s clearly so much bigger than any one person. His

guiding principles for how he started UoPeople are instructive for anyone who wants to accomplish anything worthwhile.

“If you want to accomplish something that is big,” he says, “first make sure you know your objectives - the how and why of your goals are critical. And then never give

up.” Beyond clear vision and self-determination, however, Reshef quickly cited the need for others to be on board with your idea.

“Success requires other people, so surround yourself with other people. You’ll convince them to join in your dream if you believe in it,” says Reshef. Years ago, when he first announced the vision for UoPeople at a conference, the New York Times picked up on the event and wrote an article about it. From that event and that article Reshef received hundreds of emails from professors wanting to join. “So many could identify with my vision for UoPeople; they saw that my heart was in it, that I believed in it with all my heart. It’s time had come.”

Reshef adds that a vision for big change and impact doesn’t

necessarily mean reinventing the wheel. “No matter what your dream is, see what ingredients already exist to make acheiving your goal easier. I used existing Internet and computing technologies; all I had to do was put all the ingredients together.”

UoPeople currently educates students from 151 countries and, as

such, very diverse backgrounds. Reshef says the current students range in age from 18 to 66 (average age: 29); 30% are female, 70% are male; and 65% are from foreign countries. “These stats, however, don’t reveal who the students are,” he says, noting that many students are actually from hardship situations where they could not finish a previously started degree program or could not attend another school due to cost or lack of seats. Reshef says UoPoeple students include women from African countries who are deprived of education for religious or cultural reasons, or they are refugees because of political reasons, and so on. Some are survivors of genocide in Rwanda. Because of the many hardship situations, however, many UoPeople students are more motivated than a

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 11

"IF YOu WANT TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING

THAT IS BIG, FIRST MAKE SuRE YOu KNOW

YOuR OBJECTIVES -- THE HOW AND WHY OF

YOuR GOALS ARE CRITICAL. AND THEN NEVER

GIVE uP."

S h a i w i t h s t u d e n t s i n H a i t i . I n

N o v e m b e r 2 0 1 0, at t h e C l i n t o n

G l o b a l I n i t i at i v e , U o P e o p l e

c o m m i tt e d t o a c c e p t i n g 2 5 0

q u a l i f i e d H a i t i a n y o u t h t o s t u d y

f r e e o n l i n e , h e l p i n g t h e m a c c e s s

e d u c at i o n a n d d e v e l o p t h e

s k i l l s n e e d e d t o r e b u i l d t h e i r

c o u n t r y. U o P e o p l e f u l f i l l e d i t s

c o m m i t m e n t t o a c c e p t 2 5 0

H a i t i a n s t u d e n t s i n M ay 2 0 1 4 .

12 APRIL 2015

typical university student.“These are people who want to improve their life and have a better future,” he says. “So we offer opportunity where there is no other opportunity.”

Of course, offering the opportunity at UoPeople requires a willingness to face obstacles. At first Reshef thought the recruitment of volunteers would prove most challenging. With the outpouring of support and interest, the next challenge that loomed on the horizon was the accreditation process. Reshef says that while it was a top priority, it took many years to acheive, and a lot of work and money. An additional challenge is getting word about UoPeople to people in other countries. “Articles

like this are great,” he says, “but we want to serve the refugees who may not read magazines or hear news in the media.”

So what drives Reshef to stay at it and get the word out about UoPeople? “I honestly believe that I’m changing the world,” he says. “The mission for me is so big, I can’t stop. It must be achieved. Something inside me makes me run without stopping, working 16 hours per day. Some internal thing keeps pushing me forward. And I love it!”

Reshef’s goals for UoPeople include becoming financially sustainable, which occurs, he says, at 5,000 students enrolled. He’s also working on two additional programs, one in health science as

"NO MATTER WHAT

YOuR DREAM IS, SEE

WHAT INGREDIENTS

ALREADY EXIST TO

MAKE ACHIEVING

YOuR GOAL EASIER."

I n M a r c h o f l a s t y e a r, R e s h e f

m a d e a n a p p e a r a n c e a t t h e

T E D C o n f e r e n c e i n Va n c o u v e r,

C a n a d a t o d i s c u s s U n i v e r s i t y

o f t h e P e o p l e a n d s h e d l i g h t

o n h i s g o a l s f o r d e m o c r a t i z i n g

h i g h e r e d u c a t i o n .

well as a Master of Business Administration degree. In any programming decisions, Reshef hopes to have a significant operation with refugees.

“More than anything else, I want to help a lot of students,” he says. So UoPeople is building a model for the universities in developing countries to show them how it can be done. “Look at our model,” he says. “You can educate every single person in your country!” This, says Reshef, is one way of solving the issue of the 100,000,000 that need an education. “If they start this and stay at it, one day they’ll wake up and realize they’re doing it.”

Shai Reshef wants to change the world through online education. Staying focused and motivated to accomplish this goal, he says, requires him to remember a piece of advice he received long ago. “A friend told me: When you give to others, you get so much more back than what you gave. This became my motto and informs my heart for UoPeople.”

MARK RICHARDSON is the editor of AIA Magazine. You c an

re ach him at editor @the aiamag.com.

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 13

LEADERSHIP

All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don’t discover why. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others.- Danny Thomas

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 15

And I’ve developed a definition of success that underlines that truth, yet puts success within the reach of anyone. Do you want to know what it is? LET ME GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. SUCCESS IS... Knowing your purpose in life, Growing to reach your maximum potential, and Sowing seeds that benefit others.

Now, let’s take a look at how pursuing each of these things is part of the ever-unfolding process of success.

BY JOHN MAXWELL

hen will you be successful? If you’re like most people, the answer that comes to mind is ... someday ... somewhere off in

the future. You think suddenly you’ll wake up and declare, “I made it!” because you reached a particular goal, accumulated a certain amount of money, or received a type of recognition you’ve always wanted. THAT’S THE WRONG KIND OF THINKING

I’ve studied success and successful people for almost five decades, and I’ve discovered that success is a journey, not a destination.

KNOWING YOUR PURPOSE

Psychologist Viktor Frankl said, “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life. Everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” In other words, each of us has a purpose for which we were created. Our responsibility - and our greatest joy - is to identify it.

To find your purpose, look at two things: your passion and your giftedness. What is the deep desire set in your heart, the thing that sets your soul on fire? What do you get most excited about?

Add to that your unique mix of abilities, skills, resources, and opportunities. No one else’s in the world are exactly the same. What could you be great at that you would love to do? GROWING TO YOUR POTENTIAL

Novelist H.G. Wells said that wealth, notoriety, place, and power are no measures of success whatsoever. The only true measure of success is the ratio between what we might have been and what we have become.

Did you get that? If you are willing to strive to become who you can become, you’re moving closer to realizing your purpose and potential.

It’s been said that our potential is God’s gift to us, and what we do with it is our gift to him.

How do you reach your potential? By focusing on what you’re best at. Training in it. Improving it. Making the most of it. I did that in the area of communication. It’s my best thing, and it’s the foundation for everything else I do.

Dedicate yourself to growing every day. Doing that makes you successful today, and it prepares you for tomorrow. SOWING SEEDS THAT BENEFIT OTHERS

When you know your purpose and are growing to reach your potential, you’re well on your way. But there’s one more important part to the success journey: helping

JOHN MAXWELL is the founder of The John Maxwell Company,

The John Maxwell Team and EQUIP. These organizations

have trained more than 5 mil l ion leaders worldwide. Visit

www.johnmaxwellteam.com for more information.

16 APRIL 2015

To find your purpose, look at two things: your passion and your giftedness. What is the deep desire set in your heart, the thing that sets your soul on fire? What do you get most excited about?

others. Without that, the journey can be a lonely and shallow experience.

Entertainer Danny Thomas said, “All of us are born for a reason, but all of us don’t discover why. Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others.”

You can change the world by giving yourself away to others. Take that step, and your success journey will be complete and fulfilling.

MEDICAL ADVICE

18 APRIL 2015

THE HEART

For the ancient Greeks, it was the center of the soul. For their Egyptian contemporaries, it was the center of life and morality. The Romans considered it the most vital organ in sustaining life. Clearly the heart has long been a focal point for humankind and still serves as a symbol of love and life around the world. Sometimes we talk of having “heart” in terms of having soul, passion, and drive. Sometimes we talk of the heart in terms of beats per minute and blood pressure and health. “Having your heart in the game” is more than just a physical matter but it is not less than that. And no matter how you look at it, modern medicine only confirms the importance of taking care of this most vital organ.

Whether you are 22 or 102, your heart is an incredible biological machine, critical to maintain in order to live a full and healthy life. In fact, your heart first began to beat at about 22 to 23 days into your creation in your mother’s

To d ay, w e a l l a g r e e t h at a h e a l t h y h e a r t i s e s s e n t i a l f o r o u r s u r v i va l . W h e t h e r y o u a r e 2 2 o r 1 0 2 , t h e r e

a r e t h i n g s y o u c a n a n d s h o u l d d o t o h e l p m a i n t a i n t h i s i n c r e d i b l e b i o l o g i c a l m a c h i n e . A f t e r a l l , y o u r “ t i c k e r ”

d o e s e v e r y t h i n g i t c a n t o k e e p y o u u p a n d r u n n i n g , r i g h t ?

BY DR. KEISUKE MIYAHARA

A n c i e n t G r e e k s b e l i e v e d

t h e h e a r t w a s t h e c e n t e r

o f t h e s o u l .

T h e R o m a n s c o n s i d e r e d t h e

h e a r t t h e s i n g l e m o s t

v i t a l o r g a n i n s u s t a i n i n g l i f e .

T h e i r E g y p t i a n c o u n t e r p a r t s

b e l i e v e d t h e h e a r t w a s t h e

c e n t e r o f l i f e & m o r a l i t y.

HEART DISEASE

The most common type of heart disease is ischemic heart disease, caused by the hardening of the arteries due to fatty deposits that build up inside the arteries, blocking blood flow. Basically, if your heart doesn’t get enough blood to do its job, you will experience a symptom called angina - chest pain that feels like pressure, squeezing, or, as some say, feeling like an elephant sitting on your chest. This pain can occur after climbing stairs or exercising and lasts just a short time after you rest.

Angina may be signaling a potentially serious problem, especially for those over 40 years of age, who may

womb. It sent blood flowing in your fourth week of life, making it one of your first functioning organs. Every day since then, your heart beats about 100,000 times, sending 2,000 gallons of blood surging through your body. And although it’s no bigger than your fist, your heart has the power to pump blood through 60,000 miles of vessels that feed your organs and tissues.

Throughout history, with advances in medicine, improvements in nutrition, and better sanitation, the risk of infections and other deadly health problems have decreased. And for that, we’re thankful! Despite the improvements, a threat still exists. Heart disease is now the largest cause of death in the world.

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 19

Yo u r h e a r t f i r s t b e g i n s t o b e a t

a t a b o u t 2 2 - 2 3 d a y s i n t o y o u r

c r e a t i o n i n t h e w o m b .

By comparis on, the circumfrence

of the ear th is about 25,000 miles,

m eaning your blood vess els could

w ra p a ro u n d t h e wo r l d a b o u t 2 . 5

t i m e s !

A h ea r t attach is a l i fe- th reatening em erg e ncy ne e d i ng i mme d i age me d i c al he lp.

D o n’t h es itate to c a l l 911 . I f a h o s pita l is nea r, have s ome one take you.

be overweight, have high blood pressure, diabetes, or a history of tobacco use. You should see your doctor if these symptoms occur. Don’t ignore them.

More serious heart attack symptoms match those of angina, but the pain is stronger, lasts longer and doesn’t go away with rest. These symptoms may occur after exercise or even while you are in bed early in the morning. In addition to chest pain you may have shortness of breath, dizziness, stomach ache, nausea, cold sweats, or clammy skin. Let’s be clear: A heart attack is a life-threatening emergency needing immediate medical help. Don’t hesitate to call 911. If a hospital is near, have someone take you.

EVALUATING THE RISKS

Do any of these risks describe you? If so, you are at a greater risk for heart disease.

• To b a c c o u s e a n d e x p o s u re

t o s e c o n d h a n d s m o ke

• D i a b e t e s

• H i g h b l o o d p re s s u re

• H i g h c h o l e st e ro l o r t r i g l yc e r i d e l e v e l s

• O b e s i t y

• Fa m i l y h i st o r y of h e a r t d i s e a s e

LIVING HEART HEALTHY

Eat right and exercise. The risk of heart problems increases if you are a man over 45 or a woman over 55. You can’t do anything about that, of course, but you can help fend off heart disease by eating a healthy diet, limiting unhealthy fats, avoiding sugary soft drinks, and exercising regularly even if it’s just a fast-paced, 20-minute walk.

Put your mobile device to work for you. Many apps exist to assist in tracking your eating and exercise levels. Check out MyFitnessPal, Calorie Counter Pro, LifeSum, Fitocracy, and RunKeeper.

Think about those you love. You want to be with them as long as you can, and of course, they want to keep you around, too. Keeping your heart healthy will keep your heart in the game!

DR. KEISUKE MIYAHARA works in internal medicine at Dr. Ignacio Morones

Prieto Hospital, in San Luis Potosí, Mexico.

20 APRIL 2015

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FAMILY MATTERS

22 APRIL 2015

ur culture is awash in conflicting definitions and demonstrations of romantic love. As a result, it can be difficult for children to know what is actually love and what is merely

a crush. Parents may be amused to find that a child has a crush and get caught up in teasing them playfully about it. Maybe it’s because adults know what it’s like to have a crush on someone. But crushes or infatuations are important to understand and provide children with important lessons for forming truly loving relationships outside of the family.

An infatuation involves being interested in, fascinated by, or obsessed with another person. Someone who has an infatuation will think about the other person often and, of course, desire that person to be interested in him or her, too.

Unlike love, infatuations are usually based on superficial attraction such as looks or status. And since most infatuations are based in fantasy more than reality, the smitten person may think the object of their affection is “exactly” the right match.

Infatuations indeed are exciting. They elevate moods, increase happiness and give positive feelings. A child with an infatuation may talk about “walking on air.” He or she may feel “butterflies” when they see the other person because they are so excited. A child also may constantly think about and talk about that person as he or she tries to figure out if the feelings are mutual.

Infatuations are not always rational or reasonable. A child may think of the other person as perfect even though they haven’t spent much, if any, time together. Even so, experiencing a loving feeling toward another person whom you don’t really know can feel as strong as true love, which may confuse a child into thinking they are the same thing.

Researchers have found that deep in our brain are memories that may explain why we may have infatuations with certain people and not others. These memories are called “implicit memories,” which means that they are memories outside of our awareness, even though they still can affect our choices.

BY DR. MARY LAMIA

The implicit memories that are formed by relationships are similar. Loving feelings toward parents or caregivers may be connected with their specific mannerisms and personality traits that become buried memories in our brain. These qualities that may attract us to other people are made up of memories that are imprinted on the what’s called the limbic system of our brain - the center of our emotions.

So, love and infatuations are very complicated.A parent or mentor has a unique opportunity to convey

helpful lessons about love, whether the object of a child’s infatuation is a pop star or a classmate. Most often a child will desire to have the kind of love and admiration for themselves that they have for the object of their infatuation.

To help a child with an infatuation, parents might ask these questions:

• What qual it ies does that person have that you l ike?

• Did you ever wish that you had those qual it ies yourself ?

• What would it be l ike to be admired in that way ?

• What are your best qual it ies that others might admire?

• Would you have to do anything different in order to

admire yourself more?

As early as childhood we might seek out in a relationship exactly what we need at the time. Perhaps that is simply the way we are built. Thus, exploring the infatuations of children can help them – and us - to recognize what they might need for themselves, as well as what they might want to look for in relationships as they reach adulthood. By lovingly talking with a child about any infatuations, parents and mentors can protect a child’s heart and help set them up for future success.

Infatuations are not always rational or reasonable. Even so, experiencing a loving feeling toward another person whom you don’t really know can feel as strong as true love, which may confuse a child into thinking they are the same thing.

DR. MARY LAMIA is a cl in ic al psychologist and psychoanalyst

who works with adults , couple s , adole scents , and preteens in

her Marin C ounty, Cal ifornia , pr ivate pract ice. She is a profe ssor

at the Wright Inst itute in B erkeley. Her books include: Emotions!

Making Sense of Your Feel ings; Understanding Myself: A Kid’s

Guide to Intense Emotions and Strong Feel ings : and, The

White Knight Syndrome: Rescuing Yourself From Your Need

to Rescue Others. ( W W W.MARYL AMIA .COM)

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 23

PROFILE

24 APRIL 2015

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 25

n 2014, just six years after making the Top Eight on the Australian Idol television show, singer and songwriter Thanh Bui, recently conquered the Asian market with a number one hit song.

Now this humble performer born to Vietnamese refugees in Australia is preparing an album to conquer the world.

“Only now do I have enough courage to be vulnerable and share my story with everyone,” he said from his home base in Vietnam. “The final frontier is to get out to the rest of the world. Now I feel like an artist, and that has given me belief in myself, a sense of depth and the creative freedom to believe I can do this and no matter what happens I’m glad to be following my heart and my passion.”

Thanh first experienced Asian pop stardom in his early twenties as a member of the group North, which put out two albums and had number one hit songs in Thailand and Indonesia, as well as huge hits in Malaysia, Singapore and Philippines.

Now a solo act, Thanh is working on his so-far unnamed album’s first single for release this summer with top producers and songwriters AJ Junior (Achraf Janussi) and Wayne Hector, whose clients include Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull, One Direction, and Nicki Minaj.

Thanh recently co-wrote the successful song, Just Like You, collaborating with Filipino-American rapper Apl.de.ap of the Grammy-winning American group Black-Eyed Peas. That song was recorded in the Philippines, edited in the United States, and features Filipino singer JR.

Along with his global career aspirations, Thanh is dedicated to elevating the lives of others through music and by making the world a better place. His Soul Music Academy in Ho Chi Minh City serves as a training center to nurture young talent. In addition, he is an ambassador for the Wilderness Foundation and Wild Aid in Vietnam in their campaign to improve awareness

26 APRIL 2015

Thanh Bui singing a duet with

The Voice Kids contestant,

Ngoc Duy, in 2013.

of the endangered rhinoceros population decimated by poachers and smugglers.

Thanh holds a bachelor’s degree in information technology and is an ambassador for the Loreto Vietnam-Australia Program, which works to reduce poverty and provide educational opportunities for disadvantaged and disabled students in Vietnam. Since 1997, LVAP has helped over 25,000 children.

He intends to follow the example of his pop heroes, Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder, who both were musical innovators also known for their humanitarian efforts.

“My parents have been an

inspiration as well,” he noted. “They were among the original boat people refugees who left after the Vietnam War. For them it was either make it or die. That is the honest truth; two million people left the shoreline, one million died and one million survived.”

After reaching Australia, Thanh’s parents worked first as cucumber farmers and potato pickers before finding jobs in a sweatshop earning lowly wages while making designer jeans that sold for $150 a pair.

“They sacrificed to put us through school so we could have better lives,” he said. “I have to protect my heritage and my history.

28 APRIL 2015

Bui made an appearance on stage

in the role of 2013 Vietnam Idol’s

musical mentor and guide to the top

5 contestants.

“IN SCHOOL I WAS BULLIED A BIT AND CALLED ‘CHING CHONG’ AND ‘NOODLE FACE,’ BUT I LEARNED TO ADAPT AND FIT IN AND PART OF THE REASON I CAME BACK TO VIETNAM WAS BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE TO TRY TO DO THAT ANYMORE HERE. I AM PROUD OF WHO I AM.”

authentic,” he said.Today when Thanh mentors young artists, he tells them

to be proud of their heritage, to pursue their passion, and to always be true to their beliefs and values. And that’s how they’ll keep their heart in the game.

“I believe that if you are undeniably authentic, you will connect with people. If you make authentic music, you will find the right song at the right place and the right time.”

“Know that there will always be hurdles to get over, don’t feel entitled to have your career delivered on a plate. Put your head down and go for your dreams,” he added.

“As my sixth grade teacher told me, ‘People who never give up are never defeated.’”

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 29

When I meet other kids whose parents have similar stories, there is a bond there. We are all very lucky to have what I see as a second chance. I want to give back to my mum and dad, but nothing will ever suffice for all they’ve done for me.”

Thanh welcomes opportunities to encourage other immigrants and their offspring to embrace their roots and their authenticity as human beings.

“In school I was bullied a bit and called ‘Ching Chong,’ and ‘Noodle Face,’ but I learned to adapt and fit in and part of the reason I came back to Vietnam was because I don’t have to try to do that anymore here. I am proud of who I am,” he said.

He acknowledges that having to overcome bullying and stereotypes made him stronger, more assured, and more determined to succeed. “I know where my roots are, who I am as a human being, as an artist, and as a musician and that has made my music more

FOOD + COOKING

30 APRIL 2015

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 31

BY DANIEL CHURCHILL

ou know what does my heart good? Making my special someone super happy and seriously impressed with beautiful, simple, delicious, and healthy home-cooked meals.

It’s how I keep my heart, and theirs, in the game!I began cooking because I was passionate about

concocting delicious and original recipes for my friends and loved ones. Then, things heated up for me even more when my closest mates came seeking advice on what they could cook to impress their girls. They realized that their ladies and even their mums found me more appealing because I could cook, so coincidently my mates developed a keen interest in pots and pans.

To help out my boys, I came up with some super seductive recipes and before I knew it there was a cookbook in the works. In fact, my first international book, Dudefood, has been released this month!

Now, please understand that my dishes of course can be cooked up by women as well as by men. And I know some of you ladies might be even better cooks than your guys. So please don’t think I’m cutting you out of the kitchen. I would never do that!

When it comes to cooking from the heart, one of my favorite things to do is cook for the special women in my life—or to have them cook a meal with me. When you put a delicious-smelling, freshly made meal in front of your loved one, a few miraculous and mystical things happen.

First, you receive a big smile, then maybe an inviting glance, and, finally, a sigh of happy anticipation. You see, a home cooked meal has very seductive qualities. It lights

up all the senses—sight, smell, taste, touch and feel. You probably knew that from personal experience, but did you know also that the careful presentation of a lovely meal can release some very interesting hormones?

Yep, this has been scientifically proven. It’s the love connection that every cook covets!

Cooking for someone displays care and affection. When you work up an awesome meal and serve it up on a plate, the recipient feels loved and appreciated. This triggers the release of happy hormones and a warm rush of gratitude.

You’ve heard the saying that the easiest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach; well, it’s true for all of us and just another way of expressing what I’m saying here!

Without getting into all the biology and chemistry, let me just share that cooking for your loved one is regarded

as one of the most positive emotional experiences you can muster. The release of serotonin and endorphins can be a serious turn on for your dinner partner.

Happiness is the key to health, so I am all about turning up the flames and serving up romantic meals. It is such a fun and joyful experience and a great way for all of us to keep our hearts in the game!

If you are looking for a recipe to light the fires of romance or strengthen the relationship bonds, here’s one I recommend whole-heartedly (pun intended)!

DANIEL CHURCHILL is an Austral ian chef and author of two

cook books — Dudefood and The Healthy Cook . You are

invited to subscribe to his Youtube channel w w w.youtube.

com/danchurchi l lcooks for weekly how to and cooking video s,

including special recipe s for impre ssing your loved one s.

Subscribe to the website (w w w.danielchurchi l l .com.au) for free

recipe s and let h im know on social media how it worked out .

“Cooking for someone displays care and affection. When you work up an awesome meal and serve it up on a plate, the recipient feels loved and appreciated. This triggers the release of happy hormones and a warm rush of gratitude.”

32 APRIL 2015

CHICKEN OVER BUTTERNUT PUMPKIN + QUINOA WITH A HONEY MUSTARD SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

• ½ a butternut pumpkin, peeled and diced into 2 cm cubes• 1 pinch salt• 1 cup quinoa• 4 chicken breasts, skin on• 4 good handfuls of baby spinach

DRESSING

• 1 tbsp honey• 1 tbsp whole grain mustard • 100 ml olive oil• Juice of half a lemon

COOK’S NOTES

Oven temperatures are for conventional; if using fan-forced (convection), reduce the temperature by 20˚C. We use Australian tablespoons and cups: 1 teaspoon equals 5 ml; 1 tablespoon equals 20 ml; 1 cup equals 250 ml. All herbs are fresh (unless specified) and cups are lightly packed. All vegetables are medium size and peeled, unless specified. All eggs are 55-60 g, unless specified.

You don’t want to burn the skin of the chicken when frying it; you want it to be nice and crunchy, so monitor it and, if need be, turn the heat down slightly. As with everything in the kitchen, practice makes perfect.

INSTRUCTIONS

Resting time 5 minutes 1. Preheat the oven to 180˚C.

2. In a mixing bowl, add the pumpkin along with a pinch of salt and a drizzle of olive oil and mix through. Line a baking tray with baking paper and spread the pumpkin on top before putting in the oven for 20 minutes or until colored and soft to the touch.

3. Meanwhile, in a small saucepan on high heat, add the quinoa plus 1¾ cups of water. Bring to the boil before turning to low and simmering for 12 minutes.

4. Now add oil to a fry pan on high heat. Add the chicken, skin-side down; it should sizzle. Once the chicken begins to cook halfway up the sides, flip it over. The skin should have a lovely golden color. If you have an oven-proof fry pan, place it straight in the oven, if not you can transfer it onto a roasting or baking tray. Cook for about 5 minutes or until chicken is springy to the touch. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 5 minutes before slicing.

5. For the honey mustard dressing, combine all ingredients in a bowl or a jar and mix, or shake until combined, set aside for serving.

6. For the salad, turn the saucepan full of quinoa upside down over a mixing bowl and tap it out, don’t stir it otherwise it may turn stodgy. Add the spinach to the quinoa and gently toss through the pumpkin; you don’t want to break it up.

7. To serve, spoon onto four plates and top with a sliced chicken breast before drizzling around the dressing, avoiding the skin of the chicken so it maintains its crunch.

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 33

RELATIONSHIPS

DR. RANDI GUNTHER

Think about the last time you were getting to know someone. Maybe that’s happening right now in a new dating relationship. Or maybe you’re in a serious relationship that’s been going on for several years. In those earliest and most important days of getting to know one another, were you completely honest with your partner?

Were you upfront about issues from your past or did you downplay them? Did you mention any potentially major issues such as financial trouble to children from previous relationships?

Did you speak up when you weren’t in agreement with your partner, or did you just go along with certain things?

When your partner said or did something you didn’t like, did you speak up about how uncomfortable you felt?

If you haven’t been completely honest all of the time, you’re not alone.

People hide or ignore all kinds of things in the early stages of a relationship in an attempt to be more attractive or to seem easygoing to their prospective partners. And it can be a dangerous formula.

In fact, as a professional counselor, I’ve had couples in therapy - some who have been together for years – see their relationships ripped apart by confessions. People can drop all sorts of bombs, anything from criminal records to sexually transmitted diseases to past affairs, even after a relationship has been established. And the results can be devastating.

Why do we hide things from our partners? It usually comes down to fear. When things are going well and we really like someone, we’re afraid of losing them by rocking the boat or coming across as high maintenance.

Perhaps you’ve been burned in a previous relationship by a partner who reacted negatively to your honesty and trust.

Or maybe you think some negative aspect of your past won’t matter or won’t come to bear in a relationship.

No matter the background, not being authentic with your partner can be like carrying around a ticking time bomb.

When you aren’t straightforward, you miss out on heart to heart authenticity and actually put yourself at a tremendous disadvantage. By hiding the truths of your past or present, you actually prevent the other person from getting to know the real you. As a result, you may end up spending time with the wrong person. Moreover, you only create more problems down the line when the truth does come out.

When partners aren’t authentic with each other, they usually find that they can only play that game for so long. Sooner or later, the truth emerges and often they are poorly equipped to cope with the disruption it causes.

The early phase of a relationship is the best time to be completely authentic with your partner. When a couple

36 APRIL 2015

T h e e a r l y p h a s e o f a

r e l a t i o n s h i p i s t h e b e s t t i m e

t o b e c o m p l e t e l y a u t h e n t i c

w i t h y o u r p a r t n e r. W h e n a

c o u p l e i s f i r s t g e t t i n g t o

k n o w e a c h o t h e r, t h e r e i s

a n a b u n d a n c e o f p o s i t i v e

f e e l i n g s , a n d f o r g i v e n e s s

c o m e s e a s i e r. T h e r e i s a l s o

a h i g h d e g r e e o f r e s i l i e n c e ,

a n d i t ’ s e a s i e r t h a n e v e r

t o b o u n c e b a c k f r o m a n y

s e t b a c k s .

“ P e r h a p s y o u ’ v e b e e n

b u r n e d i n a p r e v i o u s

r e l a t i o n s h i p b y a p a r t n e r

w h o r e a c t e d n e g a t i v e l y

t o y o u r h o n e s t y a n d t r u s t .

O r m ay b e y o u t h i n k s o m e

n e g a t i v e a s p e c t o f y o u r p a s t

w o n’ t m a t t e r o r w o n’ t c o m e

t o b e a r i n a r e l a t i o n s h i p . N o

m a t t e r t h e b a c k g r o u n d , n o t

b e i n g a u t h e n t i c w i t h y o u r

p a r t n e r c a n b e l i ke c a r r y i n g

a r o u n d a t i c k i n g t i m e b o m b . ”

or other sensitive things on a first date. Intimate and delicate matters should be shared only after you are comfortable that the person will respond with support and caring.

By the way, it’s never too late to practice heart to heart authenticity with your partner. Make a commitment today to be completely transparent about what you’re feeling and what you need from each other. You may be nervous when you first try it, but you’ll soon realize that the payoffs, including true intimacy, connection, and lasting love, are limitless.

DR. RANDI GUNTHER is a cl in ic al psychologist and marr iage

counselor with over 40 ye ar s of experience. She is also the

founder of heroiclove.com.

is first getting to know each other, there is an abundance of positive feelings, and forgiveness comes easier. There is also a high degree of resilience, and it’s easier than ever to bounce back from any setbacks.

You might think that if you’re honest, the other person won’t like you. But the reality is that the fastest way to find out if the two of you are a good fit is to be exactly who you are. And the more you disclose about yourself, the more your partner feels safe to do the same.

Being completely authentic builds trust. And if there are early disputes, a foundation of authenticity can help develop critical conflict-resolution skills needed later. In fact, I’ve witnessed dramatic transformations in couples when they practice “speaking from their truth.” Of course, you don’t need to reveal childhood traumas

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 37

PROFILE

38 APRIL 2015

ack in his college days, Bryan Schwarz went searching for a cheap way to go

skiing in his native state of Colorado. In the process, he discovered his life’s avocation—one that would benefit thousands of people.

“I was 18 years old and looking for a free season pass,” he says. While checking out a campus bulletin board for spring break skiing opportunities, Schwarz found an advertisement from a Winter Park, Colorado, resort looking for volunteers to help with its program for visually impaired and blind skiers. Those who volunteered received free lift tickets.

Bryan signed up, got the the free lift tickets, but after working with blind skiers for a couple years, his perspective changed and he “began to understand the real benefits of being there.”

One of the participants touched his

heart when she suggested to Schwarz that while she was blind, he was the person who could not see.

“She said that I was visually disabled because I was distracted by the cars people drove, the clothes they wore, or the houses they lived in. She said those things kept me from seeing who people were on the inside,” Schwarz recalled.

She also said that the only important thing for either of us to see was Jesus and she could see Him just as good as I could. “I pondered that conversation for many years and it began my relationship with Jesus and formed how I now look at the rest of the world.”

The National Camps for the Blind of Christian Record Services ran the ski program in Winter Park. Schwarz and his wife volunteered there for more than 20 years until it closed.

At that point, the Schwarz’s decided to start their own version of

I was visually disabled because I was distracted by the cars people drove, the clothes they wore, or the houses they lived in ... those things kept me from seeing who people were on the inside.- Bryan Schwarz

One of XMO Camp’s many

athletes experiencing the extreme

sport of wakeboarding. XMO Camps

use “extreme” sports to empower

blind/visually impaired athletes and

volunteers to live more fulfilled lives.

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 39

the non-profit sports camp. In 2008, they started XMO Camps to provide a variety of outdoor adventures for visually impaired youths and young adults. The Schwarz’s two grown children are staff members at the non-profit, which is supported entirely by donations.

Bryan says the goal of the camp is to increase self-awareness and self-confidence in participants, and to light the fires of faith in their hearts. “We believe that it is more important to live by faith and not by sight.”

Depending on location (Colorado or California) and time of year, their free camps offer participants the opportunity to try downhill skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, cross-country skiing, sleigh rides, tubing, water skiing, jet skiing, wake boarding, summiting or backpacking.

While camp staff, volunteers, and participants are not required to be Christians, the XMO Camps include

spiritual components because the Schwarz’s are very strong advocates for their beliefs.

“We have found that blind and sighted people are more open to the word of God when they are having a great time in a fun-filled environment. We have watched Jesus melt the hardest hearts and we have witnessed many give their lives to Christ.”

For additional information, check out their website at xmocamps.org.

An XMO Camps athlete heads

up the mountain with one of the

camp’s ski instructors. XMO Camps

partner with the world renowned

National Sports Center for the

Disabled (NSCD) at Winter Park Ski

Resort in Winter Park, Colorado to

provide athletes with certified ski/

snowboard instructors.

The goal is to increase self-awareness and self-confidence in participants, and to light the fires of faith in their hearts. ‘We believe that it is more important to live by faith and not by sight.’

Br yan and Mindy Schwarz’s

daughter, Marleigh, pictured

below with two XMO Camps

athletes. Marleigh along with

her younger brother, Bradon,

contr ibute their t ime and talents

to helping with XMO Camps.

40 APRIL 2015

Plenty of people participate in road running races for charity or to raise awareness for a cause. But it’s notable and inspiring when the very young get involved. New Beford, Massachusetts residents Gabe Monroe and Will Benoit - both 12 years old - ran the city’s Half-Marathon on March 15, 2015 to raise money for the Jimmy Fund, which supports Boston’s Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Remember, a half marathon is 13.1 miles, a significant distance for adults to run, let alone children. Both finished the race in 1:58:56, placing 1,260th (Gabe) and 1,261st (Will) out of a field of 2,386 finishers. To learn more about the Jimmy Fund, go to www.jimmyfund.org.

You’ve heard of dogs helping the blind, right? Well, meet Smiley, a blind service dog who helps all kinds of people. Born with dwarfism and missing eyes, Smiley was rescued by Canadian Joanne George, his owner. Since then, Smiley has brought joy and encouragement to dozens of people, including the elderly in retirement homes, special needs kids, and more. Smiley had such an impact on others that George had Smiley trained and certified as a therapy dog with the St. John Ambulance Therapy Dog Program. For more information, www.sja.ca.

CURRENTS

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Ototake shares with Nick Vujicic the same genetic disorder, tetra-amelia syndrome. In 1998

he published a memoir titled No One’s Perfect, which, within a year became Japan’s third best selling book following World War II. He followed up his memoir with a career in sports journalism and teaching at a Tokyo elementary school. In 2013 he starred in a movie about himself titled Nobody’s Perfect.

Ototake (right) in a scene from the 2013

fi lm, Nobody’s Perfect.

WWW.THEAIAMAG.COM 41

If you follow AIA on Facebook (facebook.com/aiamag), you recently saw this image (Nick being carried up stairs) with his quote, “We need grace. So get ready to give some from time to time.” Even when he’s on his way to deliver a motivating word to thousands in an audience Nick is reminded of his need for grace, moment by moment, just to get from one point to another. Grace, or unmerited favor, is a critical and needed aspect of human relationships. It is evident in all the Currents you have read about here, and it is played a role in your life today as well. We at AIA thank you for reading through this issue. As you do, think of all the grace that has been given and received in the myriad of circumstances and lives of each of these people. Keep up with AIA at facebook.com/aiamag.

“ We n e e d g rac e. S o g et re ad y to g ive s o m e f ro m t i m e to t i m e. ”

Attitude literally is altitude for Arizonan Jessica Cox, born with in 1983 without arms. Despite her disability, Cox has accomplished much in her life, including earning a pilot’s license, two black belts in Tae-Kwon-Do, and SCUBA diver certification. She also holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Arizona and speaks all over the world on the topic of motivation. So captivating is her story that it is the subject of a documentary titled, Rightfooted. “The goal of this film is to touch and inspire anyone who feels different, and create enormous change.” Learn more at www.rightfootedmovie.com.

42 APRIL 2015