“AFFAIR PROOFING YOUR MARRIAGE”VALUES THAT BUILD STRONG

FAMILIES - PART 7

Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.”adultery.”

I. THE PROBLEM – WHAT I. THE PROBLEM – WHAT CAUSES AFFAIRS CAUSES AFFAIRS / ADULTERY? / ADULTERY?

• Lack of intimacyLack of intimacy• Excessive separationExcessive separation• Overly scheduled and busy livesOverly scheduled and busy lives• Poor Sex lifePoor Sex life• The ‘I Have a Right to Be Happy’ The ‘I Have a Right to Be Happy’

existential philosophy existential philosophy • Relaxed Divorce Laws Relaxed Divorce Laws • Unresolved Marital Challenges Unresolved Marital Challenges • Unrealistic ExpectationsUnrealistic Expectations

Hebrews 13:5 "Husbands and wives be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and commit adultery."

Proverbs 22:14 (GNB) "Adultery is a trap..."

II. THE PREVENTION: SIX STEPS

1. MAKE A COMMITMENT TO GOD'S STANDARDS.

Ps. 119:9 “How can a person keep his way pure? By living according to Your word.”

Proverbs 5:15b says "Be faithful to your own wife. Give your love to her alone."

2. MAGNIFY THE CONSEQUENCES

Proverbs 6:32 "The one who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul."

Proverbs 6:26 (GNB) "...adultery will cost a man all he has."

3. MAINTAIN YOUR MARRIAGE

1 Corinthians 7:3 "A man should fulfil his duty as a husband, a wife should fulfil her duty as a wife and each should satisfy the other's needs."

THE TOP FIVE NEEDS OF THE TOP FIVE NEEDS OF MOST MEN ARE:MOST MEN ARE:1. Sexual fulfilment1. Sexual fulfilment2. Recreational companionship2. Recreational companionship3. An attractive spouse3. An attractive spouse4. Domestic support4. Domestic support5. Admiration5. Admiration

THE TOP FIVE NEEDS OF THE TOP FIVE NEEDS OF MOST WOMEN ARE: MOST WOMEN ARE:1. Affection1. Affection2. Conversation2. Conversation3. Honesty and openness3. Honesty and openness4. Financial support4. Financial support5. Family commitment5. Family commitment

1 Corinthians 7:5 “Do not cheat each other of normal sexual intercourse or you will expose yourselves to the obvious temptation of Satan.”

4. MANAGE MY MIND4. MANAGE MY MINDSTEP ONE. ACCEPTING STEP ONE. ACCEPTING

SINFUL THOUGHTS IN SINFUL THOUGHTS IN MY MIND. MY MIND.James 1:14-15 "Temptation is the James 1:14-15 "Temptation is the pull of a person's own evil pull of a person's own evil thoughts and wishes. These evil thoughts thoughts and wishes. These evil thoughts lead to evil actions, and afterwards to death."lead to evil actions, and afterwards to death."

2 Timothy 2:22 “Turn your back on lustful 2 Timothy 2:22 “Turn your back on lustful desires and give your positive attention to desires and give your positive attention to goodness, integrity, love and peace.”goodness, integrity, love and peace.”

Romans 16:19 "I want you to be wise about Romans 16:19 "I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about evil." what is good and innocent about evil."

STEP TWO: EMOTIONAL STEP TWO: EMOTIONAL NON-PHYSICAL NON-PHYSICAL INVOLVEMENT. INVOLVEMENT.

STEP THREE: PHYSICAL STEP THREE: PHYSICAL INVOLVEMENTINVOLVEMENT

STEP FOUR: RATIONALIZING STEP FOUR: RATIONALIZING THE AFFAIR THE AFFAIR

Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. Who can know and desperately wicked. Who can know it?"it?"

5. MAINTAIN PROPER 5. MAINTAIN PROPER RELATIONSHIPS.RELATIONSHIPS.1. DON'T LISTEN TO A 1. DON'T LISTEN TO A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX TELL YOU HIS OR HER SEX TELL YOU HIS OR HER MARRIAGE PROBLEMS. MARRIAGE PROBLEMS. 2. DO NOT GO FISHING FOR 2. DO NOT GO FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS. COMPLIMENTS. 3. BE AWARE OF A SENSE OF ELECTRICITY 3. BE AWARE OF A SENSE OF ELECTRICITY BETWEEN YOU AND A MEMBER OF THE BETWEEN YOU AND A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. OPPOSITE SEX. 4. AVOID A PROLONGED STARE. 4. AVOID A PROLONGED STARE. 5. AVOID A LINGERING TOUCH. 5. AVOID A LINGERING TOUCH. Ephesians 5:3 "But among you there must Ephesians 5:3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality."not be even a hint of sexual immorality."

6. MINIMIZE THE OPPORTUNITY1 Corinthians 10:12 (LB) "So be careful! If you are thinking, ‘Oh, I would never behave like that’: let this be a warning to you. For you too may fall into sin." 1 Corinthians 15:33 "Bad company corrupts good character." Malachi 2:15 "Guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with your wife."

III. THE PATHWAY BACK TO PURITY

Three steps:

1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE SIN.

2. END THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY.

3. AVOID ALL CONTACT WITH THAT PERSON FROM NOW ON.