Adults Grieving the Death of a Parent - Grief Resource Center · 2020-04-30 · Adults Grieving the...

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Adults Grieving the Death of a Parent About the Grief Resource Center The Grief Resource Center has been created to reach out to those in the community who are grieving and to promote an awareness of the many ways grief can be experienced. At the Grief Resource Center, service providers can come together and work in partnership to help individuals define their own unique pathways to healing. Contact Information Linda H. Phelps, Ph.D., LMFT Executive Director Grief Resource Center 1113 University Blvd. NE Albuquerque, NM 87102 505.842.7166 [email protected] www.griefnm.org Board Members Duffy Swan, Chairman LaDonna Hopkins John Moore Jim Myers Peter Mwei Diane Harrison Ogawa James Saya The Grief Resource Center is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. by Linda Phelps, Ph.D.

Transcript of Adults Grieving the Death of a Parent - Grief Resource Center · 2020-04-30 · Adults Grieving the...

Adults Grieving the Death of a Parent

About the Grief Resource CenterThe Grief Resource Center has been created to reach out to those in the community who are grieving and to promote an awareness of the many

ways grief can be experienced. At the Grief Resource Center, service

providers can come together and work in partnership to help

individuals define their own unique pathways to healing.

Contact InformationLinda H. Phelps, Ph.D., LMFT

Executive DirectorGrief Resource Center

1113 University Blvd. NEAlbuquerque, NM 87102

[email protected]

www.griefnm.org

Board MembersDuffy Swan, Chairman

LaDonna HopkinsJohn MooreJim MyersPeter Mwei

Diane Harrison OgawaJames Saya

The Grief Resource Center is a501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

by Linda Phelps, Ph.D.

Adults Grieving the Death of a Parent

Adults expect their parents to precede them in death, but the reality of this event can be jolting. Even when parents are advanced in age or have suffered from a long illness, their deaths can have a more profound and far-reaching impact than most adults anticipate. The death of a parent can be the most significant loss an adult can experience, unless and until they experience the death of their spouse or partner. Consider the following:

- A significant factor that impacts an adult’s grieving process is whether this is the first or second parent to die. If it is the first, then adults will shift their attention to the surviving parent and focus on that parent’s wellbeing. Adult responsibilities may increase and new emotional issues may develop as they deal with a new and unfamiliar family structure.

- The death of the second parent can impose an unexpected crisis of becoming an “adult orphan.” Despite long-established independence, adults may experience feelings of vulnerability and emptiness after their second parent dies. There can even be an increased risk for depression. Even though these feelings are normal responses to a major change in life, most adults are surprised by the intensity and persistence of their reactions and their need to define new emotional structures.

- Life circumstances of the parent at death will greatly affect how the adult grieves. The sudden death of a parent from a medical condition or accident will profoundly affect the grief response. Without an opportunity to prepare for loss, the grief experience can become intensified with responses of outrage, shock, anger and hopelessness. On the other hand, even though it can be quite painful to witness a parent’s slow and steady decline, an anticipated death provides more opportunities to emotionally prepare for their death, opportunities to say “Good -bye,” “I’m sorry,” or “I love you.” - When a parent dies there are several things to keep in mind:

- Accept encouragement and support from friends and other family members. - Expect the holidays and other family occasions to be difficult. Plan something special. Don’t be taken off

guard by celebrated family events. - Become as knowledgeable as possible about grief and loss. There are many excellent books and other

resources available.- Consider joining a support group. Sharing the commonality of experiences can be effective in dealing

with thoughts and feelings that are part of every adult who is grieving the death of a parent.