ACT TWO

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE

It sure is a dark night tonight.

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE

Who’s there?

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE

A friend.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

FLEANCEFLEANCE

Why aren’t you asleep? I have been dreaming of the weird sisters. They sure

told you what was up, huh?

BANQUOBANQUO

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE

I haven’t really thought of them

at all. Hey Banquo, you

always got my back, right?

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE

Sure, so long as I keep my

conscience clear and stay loyal to

the king, I’m your man. Good night.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

BANQUOBANQUO FLEANCEFLEANCE

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

MAcbeth

Hey servant.

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

MAcbeth

Tell my wife to ring the bell

when my drink is ready.

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

MAcbeth

Am I seeing a dagger? I can’t touch it, but it’s there, leading me to Duncan’s room. My eyes are messing with me.

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

MAcbeth

And now I’m seeing blood on it… I’m an instrument of evil now. Oh, this

sucks. Here goes nothing…

ACT TWOSCENE ONE

MAcbeth

There’s the bell. Hear it not, Duncan, for it will call you to heaven or hell.

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

Getting the guards drunk has made me

excited!

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Who’s there? What’s going

on?

Lady

MACBETH

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

Damnit! My stupid husband is making so much noise, he’ll

wake up the guards! If Duncan hadn’t resembled my father as he slept, I would have killed

him myself.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

Oh man, I’m freaking out! I heard Malcolm and Donalbain

talking in their sleep. One laughed, and the other cried “murder!” They woke each

other and prayed. I tried to join them but I couldn’t pray!

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

Baby, you’ve got to chill out. Don’t

think about it.

MAcbeth

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

But then I heard a voice that said “Macbeth has killed sleep, so he will sleep no more!” I need to sleep – what am I going to do?

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

What? You’re talking crazy talk. Go wash the blood off your hands…

Hey, is that the daggers in your

hand? You idiot! Those are murder weapons! Go put

them in the guards’ hands!

MAcbeth

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

Hell no! I’m not about to go back there!

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

You sad little idiot. Give me the

daggers. I ain’t scared of the dead and sleeping. If Duncan’s still

bleeding, I’ll use the blood to cover the guards’ faces.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

MAcbeth

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

What’s up with that knocking? Why am

I so freaked out? Will all the oceans of the world clean the

blood off my hands? No, my hands will dye the seas red.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

I got just as much blood on my

hands, but my soul is white. Come on! Someone is knocking on the door. We have to

get cleaned up and be ready.

MAcbeth

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

ACT TWOSCENE TWO

Lady

MACBETH

MAcbeth

They’ll wake Duncan with that noise… If only

they could…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Alright, alright, I’m coming. If I were the

porter of hell’s gate, I’d be opening the door a lot

these days. Knock knock, who’s there? A

farmer who killed himshelf because his

crops failed. Come on in to hell and be ready to

shweat.PORTERPORTER

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Who’s there? A shmooth talker who lied all

through life, but couldn’t talk his way into Heaven.

Who’s there? A tailor who ripsh off hith clients. Oh, well, here in hell you can do shome cooking,

right?

PORTERPORTER

ACT TWOSCENE THREE Man, open

the door already!

Enough of this foolishnesh. Here you

go. Don’t forget the Porter.

PORTERPORTER

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

PORTERPORTER

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

What took you so long?

PORTERPORTER

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

Sorry, I’ve been drinking, and it provokes three things – red faces, sleepiness, and urine. It

also provokes horniness, but undoes it at the same time. I’m so

wasted, man.

PORTERPORTER

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

Is Macbeth

up?

PORTERPORTER

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

Hey Macduff, Lennox,

what’s up?

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

I told the king I would wake

him up around now. I’ll go wake

him.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

Dude, it was a crazy night. The wind blew hard and we heard screams in the night and the

earth shook.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

No kidding.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

SWEET MERCIFUL

CRAP!!!

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

DUNCAN IS DEAD!

SAY WHAT?!

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

SAY WHAT?!

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

LENNOX

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

EVERYBODY WAKE UP!

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

Lady

MACBETH

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

The king is dead! Dead, I tell you!

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

Lady

MACBETH

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

It’s true! It looks like his guards did it! They were

drunk as skunks!

MAcbeth LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

Lady

MACBETH

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

Yeah, I was so pissed off that I just killed both

of those guards!

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

Lady

MACBETH

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

What?! Why did you do that?

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

Lady

MACBETH

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

Yeah, I was just so angry… I had

to kill them… um…

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

Lady

MACBETH

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

Oh dear, I’m so faint.

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

Help her!

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

What do we do, brother?

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

Don’t say anything here!

One of these guys just killed Dad. Let’s get

out of here!LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

I’ll go to England.

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

I’ll go to Ireland. Here, we can’t trust

anybody!

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

MALCOLM

DONALBAIN

LENNOX

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

LENNOX

Alright, let’s get cleaned up and we’ll get together to plan how to catch this murderer.

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

LENNOX

Agreed!

Agreed!

Agreed!

MAcbeth

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

BANQUOBANQUO

LENNOX

ACT TWOSCENE THREE

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

THE NEXT DAY

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

Last night sure was strange.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

How about today? It’s daytime, but the sun is blocked out, and

it’s black as night.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

Yeah, that’s strange. Also,

last week, I saw an owl kill

a hawk.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

Oh yeah? How about Duncan’s horses? They went wild and ate each other. That’s super-strange.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

Hey guys. Everyone thinks Malcolm and Donalbain must have killed their dad, because they took off so quickly.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

So Macbeth is going to be the king then?

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

Yep. He’s at Scone being crowned. Duncan’s body is in Colmekill being buried. I’m heading home to Fife. I don’t want to see Macbeth crowned.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ROSS

Alright. See you later.

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

ACT TWOSCENE FOUR

OLD MAN

Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered.

THE END OF ACT TWO

MACBETH’S CEMETERY

MACDONWALD DRUNK GUARDSDUNCAN