Acrolinx userconference2013 writetight(er)

HowToWriteEverything.com @MarciaRJohnston

Write Tight(er)

Conciseness: What It Means,

Why It Makes MoreBusiness Sense Than Ever, and How to Achieve It

Marcia Riefer Johnston


#acroconf 2013


#acroconf 2013

No headline?


#acroconf 2013

No headline?

Nobullets?


#acroconf 2013

No headline?

Nobullets? No

verbiage?


#acroconf 2013

No headline?

Nobullets? No

verbiage?

Howconcise!


“Most often I talk about content as text because text is everywhere … text is different … text is messy as hell.”

—Kristina HalvorsonContent Strategy for the Web


“The number-one complaint I’ve heard from technical publications managers is, ‘Much of my staff is about to retire, and I’m having trouble finding anyone who can write correct grammar and simple, concise, accurate text.’”

—Maxwell HoffmannIntercom magazine,

Society for Technical Communication, Jan. 2013


Concise means “minimal.”


Concise means “minimal.”Not short.



“Cut me a short string.”



“Cut me a short string.” Huh?



“Cut me a short string.”

Make text (like string) as long as needed.

Huh?


Not robospeak.



Not robospeak.

Push button.



Not robospeak.

Push button. Push the button.



Not robospeak.

Keep the the.

Push button. Push the button.



Not gutted for mobile.




Don’t think, “Smartphone users won’t need that.”




They will.

Don’t think, “Smartphone users won’t need that.”



Example


No discussion board?

Example



No calendar?

Example


Concise ≠Gutted


No calendar?

Example


Minimal.


Minimal.

Enough to meet your audiences’ needs


Minimal.


Enough to accomplish your purpose


Minimal.



No more


Minimal.



No more No less




Audience needs:“What’s in it for me?”




My purpose: Get you here







No more






No more No less


Conciseness makes more business sense than ever.


Small screens



Small screens


Translation costs


Small screens


Translation costs

Readability


Small screens


Translation costs

Readability

Think usability.


“But I don’t write for small screens.”


“But I don’t write for small screens.”

Maybe your readers see this.


... or maybe your readers see this.



“Full site” view



“Full site” view

“Mobile site” view


“But I write for print.”This is your toothbrush when it’s new. The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips.

This is your toothbrush when it’s ready to replace. The blue bristles have turned half white.


Your readers want this.


Especially if you translate.

Philips Sonicare™ toothbrush


“But my stuff isn’t translated.”


“But my stuff isn’t translated.”

Get ready!


How much can a word cost?

You may be needing a loan.





How much can a word cost?words6




You may need a loan.

words6





words6

5 words





words6

5 words

1 word




Translation cost (or savings):


words6

5 words

1 word





1 sentence, 1 language


words6

5 words

1 word






10,000 sentences,* 1 language


words6

5 words

1 word





* the size of a Harry Potter novel




words6

5 words

1 word









words6

5 words

1 word

10,000 sentences,* 25 languages





$ 0.25





words6

5 words

1 word






$ 0.25



10,000 sentences,* 1 language $ 2,500.00


words6

5 words

1 word






$ 0.25



10,000 sentences,* 1 language $ 2,500.00

$ 62,500.00


words6

5 words

1 word



a word? How so?


a word? How so?

Close enough


a word? How so?

Close enough

Varies with the language


a word? How so?

Close enough


Depends on the translation memory


a word? How so?

Close enough


Depends on the translation memory• unrecognized word


a word? How so?

Close enough


Depends on the translation memory• unrecognized word• fuzzy match


a word? How so?

Close enough


Depends on the translation memory• unrecognized word• fuzzy match• 100% match


a word? How so?

Close enough


Depends on the translation memory• unrecognized word• fuzzy match• 100% match

You still pay!


Whether or not you translate ...


Whether or not you translate ...

Whatever size your page or screen ...


Dump these words!*


Dump these words!**unless you need them


Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)

*unless you need them


Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact that



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjust



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order to



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in time



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbial



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialmany different, three different



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialmany different, three differentparticular



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialmany different, three differentparticularverbiage



Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialmany different, three differentparticularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch



See be-verbs.


The fix might not be self-evident.


The fix might not be self-evident.

You have to think.


Another translation example


Updates are needed to your content.




Another translation examplewords6




Your content needs updating.

words6





words6

4 words





words6

4 words

2 words





words6

4 words

2 words

$ 0.501 sentence, 1 language

10,000 sentences, 1 language

10,000 sentences, 25 languages

$ 5,000.00

$ 125,000.00

Translation savings:


Example


It’s worth noting that most readers do not want to wade through huge volumes of information to find what they need.

Example



Example

Nobody wants to wade through volumes.



Example


15-word reduction x 10,000 sentences x 25 languages saves ...



Example



$ 937,500.00



Example



A cool mill.$ 937,500.00


If only we had an automated text-analysis tool ...


This is your toothbrush when it’s new. The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips.



This is your toothbrush when it’s new. The blue bristles are blue all the way to their tips.


Bet you didn’t miss the headline I deleted.


It’s mind-boggling to consider what TIGHTENING that

dramatic would do toIMPROVES KEYWORD DENSITY.


YOURWORDS

HERE


Dump these words!*weak be-verbs (is, was, were, will be, have been, am, are)-ly words (& other vapid adverbs)very, such, so (& other empty intensifiers)not, no (& other negative words)the fact thatjustbegin to, start to, try to, tend to, in order topoint in timein light of, in spite of, in terms of (& of in general)proverbialmany different, three differentparticularverbiageany other verbiage or unneeded words that you can pitch



Story time


Story time

Water dispenser


Story time

Water dispenser

Buttons


Story time

Water dispenser

Buttons

Quick reference


Looks easy enough.


Concise = good... right?


Ready for a video?


Ready for a video?(You’ll have to pretend.)


Hey, Rick, would you bring me a glass of room-temperature water?



Rick(Smart guy!)



GlassRick(Smart guy!)




Instructions




Instructions Button




Instructions Button Water



DumpGlassRick(Smart guy!)






Read again





Read again Exasperation





Read again Exasperation Try again





Read again Exasperation Try again Try again



Dump again



Read again Exasperation Try again Try again



Dump again



Read again Exasperation Try again Try again Try again


If conciseness doesn’t fix it,change what you’re saying.


“Reader-users read differently than their forebears—they read Twitter to find links to long articles that will interest them; they switch between phone calls and the Kindle app. And yes, they watch video, play games, and listen to music. But language still knits it all together, and words have more work to do than they ever did before.”

— Paul FordForeword to Karen McGrane's

Content Strategy for Mobile, 2012

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrei_Codrescu

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrei_Codrescu

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