A Gift Called

Mother The Stages and Fantasies of Motherhood

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This is a work of non-fiction. All of the incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this book are from the author’s opinions, personal experiences and memories. All Scriptures are quoted from the Bible King James version. “A Gift Called Mother: The Stages and Fantasies of Motherhood,” by Sherlyn Powell. ISBN 978-1-60264-704-6. Library of Congress Control Number on file with Publisher. Published 2011 by Virtualbookworm.com Publishing Inc., P.O. Box 9949, Virginia, US. 2011, Sherlyn Powell. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of Sherlyn Powell. Contact: comments@sherlynpowell.com Manufactured in the United States of America.

My children call me Mommy. Mother is one of God’s greatest gifts. I wouldn’t change anything about being a mother. I’ve been granted the opportunity to play tooth fairy, Easter bunny, and Santa Claus. I remember getting up to cook breakfast, ironing my children’s clothes and going to the park. I remember spending time at our campsite, vacations at the beach and joyful Christmas mornings. Each memory is a priceless one.

I watched with my husband as my children’s faces lit up when they saw what toys were waiting for them under the Christmas tree early Christmas morning. Thanksgiving holds fond memories too. One special memory was when my daughter and I cooked our first Thanksgiving dinner together while my husband and my son rode their bikes and played basketball. When dinner was ready, we dressed in formal attire. After dinner we changed clothes and got comfortable. We ended our evening by sitting on the floor playing monopoly. Family, thank you for the memories. We’ve only just begun.

I love you.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23

Irreplaceable Gifts

I’VE LEARNED that in our daily lives, things come and go. Everybody moves at least twice in their lifetime. We change jobs several times before we retire. Furniture gets replaced after it’s worn out, if we don’t get tired of it first. We take memorable vacations and some people even travel the world. We buy new clothes and get rid of the old ones to keep up with the latest fashions. We purchase a new car and maintain it for a few years before we trade it in for a newer model. We fall in and out of love. We get married, and hopefully it’s a marriage that will last forever. When things don’t work out, some marriages end in divorce, and some couples separate. With the grace of God, we move forward.

Things are mere objects, and all objects are replaceable. Being a mother is a gift from God, and that role is irreplaceable.

A Gift Called

Mother

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IT IS A BLESSING to be called Mother. There are some stages that come with being a mother that we don’t expect as we dream of beginning the perfect family. Raising a child can be a bumpy ride.

Starting a new family changes your lifestyle, but nothing is more rewarding. If you’re used to a structured lifestyle, get ready for a major transformation.

We may have images of what we think family life should be, but there are stages that navigate their way into our lives that can surely blow our minds.

After your child is born, you love him or her so deeply. You build your life around the child and you even have goals and ideas of what you believe he or she should achieve. We soon learn from the time of the birth of our children that they have a mind of their

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own. As a flower blossoms, so does your child. The plans we make for our children are not necessarily the same ones they will follow. You will soon discover that there are hurdles over which you must jump, and there certainly are many bridges to cross. More times than not, there are many burdens to bear.

As a little girl, I played with my dolls and cared for them as I dressed them in their doll baby clothes and fed them their bottle. It was a natural feeling for me to be a mommy.

As an adult, I had dreams about the kind of life I wanted. The one thing I knew for certain was that I wanted children. In fact, I wanted to have four children, but it was not in God’s plan for that to happen. I am however, thankful to God for blessing me with two wonderful children. You see, I am the proud mother of one beautiful daughter and one handsome son.

When we think of starting a family, regardless of how many children we plan to have, we must realize that far too soon, they grow up.

I proudly accepted the fact that once my daughter was born, I was no longer Sherlyn, daughter, granddaughter, sister and wife. God had gifted me with a new title—Mother. That title, or the role that accompanies it is my most treasured gift, one that I will

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possess for the rest of my life.

Raising children is a very complicated and amazing journey. Here are the stages and fantasies of the gift as I see them.

The News

Are you having a baby? Be prepared to start praying harder and longer than you’ve ever prayed in your life because your world is about to change forever. You get so excited as you begin to wonder if you’re going to give birth to a boy or a girl. You’re dying to know who the baby will look like, so you try to create images in your head. You search for baby pictures of yourself and your spouse to gain an idea of what features your baby will have. You immediately want to go looking at baby clothes. The pink and blue blankets are so soft. You stare at the adorable dresses and the cute little pants with the tiny inseam that appears to be barely six inches long. The mere sight of those little clothes make you laugh out loud. Of course you want to purchase one of every piece of clothing that you see in every store you walk in.

You start thinking about a theme for the nursery, and you can hardly wait to have a baby shower. You start writing the lists of all the things you want your baby have. You then become anxious to sign up on a registry for all the gifts you wish to receive. You’ll

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need to buy a car seat, a crib, and a stroller. Another big decision you’ll need to make is if you are going to breast feed your child or not. Later, with so many outfits to choose from, you try to decide what the baby will wear home from the hospital.

There is so much planning to do for your new addition. Don’t worry, because you’ll be planning for at least the next eighteen years of your child’s life. We read everything out there published to learn about our baby as it grows inside our body.

Baby is born

Thank you Lord, for you have truly blessed me with a beautiful, healthy baby, one that is perfect and has ten fingers and ten toes. You stare at your baby and hold him every chance you get and you just can’t wait to change his or her tiny diaper. You stress yourself each time your baby cries, and you cater to his or her every precious utterance. You want so desperately to get everything just right as it pertains to taking care of your baby. It is at that moment that the baby has you under his or her complete control, and you are not even aware of it.

At a very early age you map out your child’s future. Any college will be lucky to have him or her.

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We are eager to learn everything we can about our newborns, and our strongest desire is to be the best mommy we can possibly be. Invariably, we make our mistakes along the way. Your baby doesn’t come with a set of instructions or a user manual, so you’d better be prepared to be a quick learner.

We start reading more and more books. We are told to wash all of the baby’s clothing prior to letting them wear them. Nurses are good at giving us tips during our brief stay in the hospital. It is there that you will catch your first glimpse of a pacifier in your baby’s mouth. It seems from birth, every baby needs a pacifier. We are told the sucking of a pacifier strengthens the baby’s muscles as they are preparing to feed.

As our babies grow, their pacifiers drop on the floor more times than you care to count. If you are anything like I was, you run to the faucet to rinse it off each time it falls. We go through several pacifiers before we finally take them away completely.

A good hygiene lesson every mother should remember is to wash after nursing. I read that it is recommended that you use a moisturizing soap and you should rinse well. If you think about it, the baby has dried saliva and milk around the mother’s nipple. Don’t you sterilize the nipples that you put on the baby’s bottle? Make sure to discard moist nursing pads so

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there won’t be any chance of bacteria. You should also have a habit of washing your hands before you breast feed or pump, and after you change your baby’s diaper. You want to create a germ free environment.

You wake up one day to discover that your baby is holding his or her head up by him or herself. That’s so exciting! It is at that moment that you should pray the following prayer, “Dear God, please give me strength to handle what my child throws my way once he learns to roll over.” It seems every baby tumbles off the bed or sofa at least once in his or her infancy. He or she learns to sit up, and will hold things with his or her own two precious little hands. Suddenly we are so excited because they push that cute little baby butt in the air and rock back and forth. Before you know it, they are crawling.

Following are more baby tips for safety because the game is now on. Take the bib off your baby after he or she has eaten so that it doesn’t get caught on anything. Once the baby starts crawling or walking, he or she can choke if the bib gets in the way. You start trying to encourage your baby to crawl, so you place the toys he or she is most drawn to in front of them so that they will crawl. You clap your hands and give the baby praise when he or she reaches a goal. You’ll be amazed at how curious your child actually is!

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Keep in mind, your baby is not always interested in the most popular toy or the most expensive one. What about that shiny ink pen, or that earring that’s been missing for all those months? The cord leading to the outlet in the wall intrigues them as well as the cell phone that has those all those fascinating keys to press. The big fun has now just begun.

Get on your hands and knees and start searching. It’s going to be interesting to see what your baby sees. Be prepared to cover all the plugs in the house that are not in use. Put the gates up to keep the toddlers away from unsafe areas. Be prepared to keep the gates up to restrict roaming, and don’t forget to secure the cabinet and closet doors with latches and put covers on door knobs, especially if the door leads to the basement. Secure and remove all loose items in the baby’s path, and don’t forget to protect all sharp edges that your baby could possibly encounter to ensure his or her safety.

Oh boy! Get excited! Your baby can now stand! Start spreading the news to your family and friends. Every milestone is a first. Each one appears to be more amazing than the other. It’s as if you’re the only mother to have a baby that can stand.

Now let’s celebrate the fact that your precious little angel can stand, because he’s going to be walking before you can

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clear the paths. Oh what a blessing you’ve been granted when your toddler can walk and you no longer need to carry him or her everywhere! Now it’s imperative that you put on your jogging shoes because you’ll be chasing your toddler quite often. All the pounds you complained about gaining when you carried your baby are now about to be shed since you’re so frequently engaged in a low speed chase with the child.

Oh how cute! The baby is learning to talk, and very well, I might add because you’re now being told no by the child. You’ll see they certainly have a mind of their own.

The famous stage known as the terrible twos is the time that your child feels he or she doesn’t need any help because he or she can do it all by him or herself. The child is growing up, and your precious little angel has been sent from heaven above to test your mettle. Get out your headache pills! You might want to invest in some hair color manufacturer’s stock at this point because the next sixteen years will reveal how many bottles of Miss Clairol will be required to wash the gray out of your hair! This is also the time that your sanity will be tested more than any time in your life.

We venture into the pre-school years when your children meet new friends and are suddenly forced to share. “That toy is mine,”

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your child cries out! You, being courageous and trying to keep the peace, dare to pry it from his or her tiny little grip. Wow, that baby is strong!

Elementary school is a cute time to live through, and your child is so very smart. You brag about everything he or she does. No child does artwork as cute as your child does. Kindergarten graduation is truly a milestone. It is so precious to watch your child march to the front of the room and stand before the principal as the principal hands him or her that first diploma. You may even want to frame it.

What is Puberty?

You close your eyes, and a few years later your child is an adolescent. New questions start to filter in, and you’re really not ready for that stage of maturity. Middle school is challenging because your poor child is either too young or too old. Suddenly—life is not fair.

Let’s fast forward to the teen years. Please, let’s not. The children are now in high school and they really have you on your knees. If you don’t know how to pray—now is a good time to learn.

Oh Lord, please, give me strength. My daughter wants to date a loser; my son won’t pull his pants up. How challenging it is to