A Fable From the (Hardly) Past

8/6/2019 A Fable From the (Hardly) Past

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Copyright 959

by CHET BERRLOW

Priw Of Coming AttractionsThis is the second issue of "Fables From he (Hardly)Past. Watch for another Fable From The (Hardly) Past,coming soon It has a different setting a different castof characters and a different plot But it will be easy totake - and hard to forget In fact although we haven'twrten it yet we can hardly wait to read it ourselves

Chet Berrlow

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FBLE FROM H (DLY) PAST

CE BERRLOW

ONCE UPON A ME tr wr two larg islands which ir discorr had gin t unusual nams of orward andBackward And onc upon th sam tim tr wr twobrothrs whom thir fatr ad christnd Ramrod and JlloRamrods nam signifis a srn caractr was Jllo waslso wll lablld bcaus h had a bacbon mad out of tstuff And t rason ths nams ar all so appropriat is

a w own tis fabl W'd b silly o lt any of our charac

trs or n an island grab a nam ha didn' fi.

far of Ramrod and llo was Crosus VancrosusV was by far t ricst man tr as r bn in thwol world But th old Van was so smar a nobody nw was ric at all And got this sory off t ground byquitly buying Backward and orward from th gornmntstat ownd tm

tn ga Backward and orward to is two sons Ram

rod and Jllo rspctily as prsns for hir twntyfirstbirtdays Nxt t old Van got all of h 07 fishrmn onBackward to ma Ramrod thir ing and to swar allganc o thir nw monarch And did t sam ting on orwardfor King J llo wantd to stablis not on dynasy bu wo old Van rmmbrd from is scool days a lin thawnt "Bu o 'tis passing bra to b a ing and rid itriumph And thoug his would tru whthr hing rod Backward or orward

But for som rason th ld Van lod Jllo much mor han Ramrod So s o wor with his billions o ma aral country out of orward first island was abou hsiz of Dlawar or wic as larg as xas flt afr Alasajoind Union picd ou a bautiful ally hasrtchd btwn wo mountain pas as h si for hiscapital city whic was namd orward Pass And hingssartd umming

h old Van hird arcitcs and nginrs importd thousands of wormn and soon crad a sining mtropolis bth sr magic of mony. En whil t city was buildingh populad it and h surrounding trritory as far as sa in all dirctions. ga fr land and houss and rac


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Fable From The (Hardly) Past

tors and tools to th farmrs H bult stors and stocd thmfor th mrchants H put up plants full of qupmnt for tmanufacturrs and homs on landscapd gardns for thr

wormn. H bult thatrs and scools and churcs powrplants and transmsson lns and a tlphon systm wspapr plants and broadcastng statons and a postoffc ntwor all on a crashprogram bass.

And h attractd popl to th sland to run thm H t by th gnrosty of hs orgnal "transportaton allowancsfor whol famls and by t xpctatons h cratd of a syfull of p for t futur. Th old Van nstalld an laboratsocal scurity systm a pattrn of govrnmnt subsds thatguarantd prosprty to all an unmploymnt admnstratonto ta car of thos wo wr allrgc to prosprty andvrythng that was ndd for th Forward conomy. Hvn brought a shpload of Nobl Prz wnnrs and othr n tllctuals, n ordr to put th Forward cultur mmdatlyon th map By ovrloong no human nd or dsr and spar ng no xpns th old Van brought Forwar a whol cvlza ton n mnatur as a gong concrn.

Wthn tn yars of th day Kng Jllo I was crownd was rulng ovr a mllon subjcts who wr njoyng a utopathat had bn handd to tm on a slvr plattr. Wd lov tostay n such fortunat company and shar wth you gntlradr t thrll of watchng popl lv n a country whrgovrnmnt too car of t so wll and so compltly thathappns, l vaccnaton was practcally compulsory. Butw hav othr tass awatng. W must stop Forwardzand lan ovr Backward to s wat s happnng thr

IWhch s qut a dfrnt story. For n th mantm m

graton to Backward has bn spars an slow Kng Ramrodas had no brbs nor prosprty to offr. So h has bn ablto attract to hs sland only thos sttlrs who wr sllynough to want to arn thr own lvngs wthout thr govrnmnt lp or govrnmntal ntrfrnc And of ths ralBackwar prospcts only th most thrfty and dtrmn

could ma th mov for Kng Ramrod had no way to payvn thr transportaton.

Of cours h dd sll nw sttlrs thr land chap for h bgnnng th only mans h had of buldng hs modst

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Fable Frm The (Hardly Past

paac and maintaining a tiny staff was from such sas Adth taxs wr disgracfuy ow for any modrn country b

caus King Ramrod nw tat is poor strugging subjctimpy coud not pay and woud rb against any but tminimum of taxs rquird for th vry minimum of govrn mnt

So itt by itt a fw mor farms and tn a fw morfarms did bcom w tid and abundanty productiv ittby itt som of th farmrs' son turnd tir attntion tmaing pows or raising catt or manufacturing itchutnsis or coths or vn suc uxuris as soap or candy o

bathtubs which thy swappd through t xcang m dium of mony to th farmrs wo nd ts things fot surpus food which t farmrs did not nd itt byitt ts various sma industris sprang up and rw andprosprd And in Backwar Drop t capita city wicsowy aros on th bautifu sasid dg wr King Ramrodad is paac as as in otr viags wr th arysttrs custrd mor ticy taiors and banrs and mrcants and doctors graduay cam in tim to hang out thir

sings and offr tir srvics And prsnty vn smactricigt pants bcam commonpac in Backwar Dropand in t argr viags

But vn aftr tn yars tr was no mistaing t Backwar conomy T wo isand was so far bind tat it hada vry sma and inxpnsiv govrnmnt no socia scuritysystm whatsovr no subsidis to farmrs and no us gov rnmnt contracts for manufacturrs and not vn tmporaryprovisions for tos who did not choos to wor Not ony th

tphon company but vn th post offic systm bongdto and was run by privat businss instad of th govrnmntWorst of a ducation was sti in t hands of various privatgroups of a ind usuay nighbors or mmbrs of a whoviag wo ad simpy joind togthr to hir t tachrsand suppy th modst buidings for having thir cidrntaugt th spcific subjcts whic thy thought schoos soudtach thm

T conomy and poitica scinc of Backwar was so non progrssiv tat pop vn too for grantd that ty mustsav mony and ma provision for tir own od ag or bsupportd by thir rativs or bcom t objcts of privatcharity During th ary yars t acm of wit phiosophyan trut for ts Bacward pop was t oca vrsion of

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Fab Frm h (Hdly) Past

an old clice, that "down in old Bckrd boy, it' oot hogor die Only the mot thrity, indutriou, and abitioumade any appreciable advance toward a higer tandard o

living, or accuulated any property above that which uppliedteir daily need

How rapidly all o ti miht ave been chaned, aterthoe irt ten year, but or an nkind imagination on tepart o the man making up thi able, you will never nowFor the old Van, having completed hi tranormation o Frrd into a J ellorun paradie, wa now ready to devote hittention and hi bilion to doing the ame or Bckrd A

muc a it grieve u to bury one o our character, howeverthe trut i that exactly at thi juncture the old Van died Andthen it wa dicovered that even i ortune ad not been equalto keepin the Jello domain operating or the lat two or threeyear in the Frrd tyle to which the inhabitant had become accutomed Whic meant, that Bckrd wa cut orom all or any o the hypoderic injection o indutrializatio and properity which the old Van had intended. Thi oiappoint and diut u tha we are going to bring downa curtain at thi point on the whole ow, and not even take aloo at eiter iand aain or the next ten year

III

But the ten year are now up, o ere we go again And werecognize the Jello ingdom at once. For the amou Frrdculture i now hining more brightly tan ever Not even atarvard Oxord, or te Sorbonne could you hear more delightul highbrow buncombe being paed out a the ultimate

widom o the ae, epecially in the ocial cience thanin te beautiully modernitic lecture hall o Frrd PssUniversity

There eem to be oeting eriouly wron, neverthele.On a cloer loo it appear that te Frrd economic bandwagon which wa thought to be rolling along o nicely byeverybody (except a ew people wo could add and ubtract)ut have ad a weel come o the axle omewere down teine At any rate, it i adly talled now

During thee pat ten year the population ha increaedby ity percent But the total production o manuacturedood ha actually decreaed by ten percent It i rapidly beoming le, a the macinery and euipment in the actorie

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Fable Fr h (Hardy) Past

wea out an beas down without being eplaced. Eebody has plenty of money, but nobody can buy anything

"And it is all the fault, we ust head one Fwad manufactue say, "of those blanetyblan labo unions. Ten yeasago they began to insist on highe and highe wages fo lessand ess wo. We ept on giing 'em the inceases, becauseof couse we could eep on aising the pices on ou poducts.Then the goenment stepped in and foze wages, which wasfine But they also foze ou pices too low, and that uinedus

"t's all the fault of the geedy manufactues, we usthead one woing man say "They ept aising the pices oneeything. We ept on getting ou wages boosted to matchThen the goenment stepped in and foze pices, which wasfne But they also foze ou wages too low, so we haven'tcaed much whethe we woed o not

"t's all the fault of the goenment, we ust had Poesso R E Seeding Bow of Fwad ass Univesit say."t wouldn't eep the inflation going fast enough. When money

wil buy less and less, you've got to eep pinting moe andoe money, fste, and poung it into the economic bloodteam But ou goenment didn't have the couage to beeally pogessive

"t's all the fault of the fames, we ust head the headof one of the Ration Bueaus say. "With moe mouths to feedn the cities, and less food to feed them, the fames beganholding bac moe and moe of thei poduce fom the maet

and eeping it fo themseles So fially we put egulationsinto effect that no fame could eep an of the food he aised,fo himself o his family, but had to get his food out of thegeneal pool, wit ation cads, the same as eveybody elsehen too many fames got uneasonable and ust wouldn'taise anything at all.

"t's all the fault of the legislatos, we ust head a etiedold man of fifty say. "They ought to dop the etiement ageto fotyfie fo eveybody, and double the pension and secu

ty payments which etied people daw Then we old folsould hae enough money to spend to put th whole Fwadeconomy ight bac on its feet again.

"t's all the fault of the stoeeepes, we ust head onehousewife say. "They simply will not hie enough cles to

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Fable Fom The (Hadly) Past

wait o the customers or wed al hae ough food ad eer thing else we eed without stading i lie so og ad haeit gie out beore we get there

t's certaily not our fault we just heard King Jello sayin a speech rom his forward balcoy. You goermet hadone eerything possibe for you. e hae foze prices so ato keep dow the cost of iig. e hae grated subsidies sohat eerybody coud still make a profit. e hae pumpedmore money into circulaio through the bas o a to in crease eerybodys earig power e hae the aised tehigher ad higher so as to draw off the surpus ad pee

inlation When the maufacturers would not epad theiplans we established goerment factoies to compete withthem ad to set the pace

act because the priate mauacturers are now ac tually producing less instead of more despite al of the guid ance we hae gien them more and ore of those goenmet owed actories are ruing today or at east thik theyare. Your goernmet has got so big that we hae sort o losttrack of things But we are right now puttig a ot more pepe on the goernment payrols so that we can establish bettercontrols oer wat eerybody does. Besides with al of theseunortunate shortages to face we eed thousads more rationclerks. nd i we hae to start taking oer the arms becausehe armers too simply will ot produce the o course weshall need sill more superisory help Also we'll probabyhae to sart huge public works to make jobs fo the ide arm ers so tat they will hae the moey to buy food for them seles and their amilies. You cant please eeybody but we

are certaiy tryig

Ad now we wish to tel you about some woderfu og range plaig fo our atios future which has bee wokeout by the ecoomists at our great uiersity. ith the adedconrols hese plans wi gie your goerment . . . .

V

Frankly we do't kow what these great plans were andwe probably neer shal know nor you either. Fo ust athat point unoruately we el asleep. Ad ow we are goig to study Backward briely or a bit e wonder what oarth has happened there durig the last ten years

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Fable From he (Hardly) Past

Well, whatever it is, starvatin is nt included. Eveygrcery stre is laded with d, and with clerks trying t sell

it. And every ther emprium every kind seems t e stcked as well. Apparently, nt many these Bakwar peplehave much mney, ut they can certainly uy things with whatthey d have In act, ne the hardest js the rdinaryBakward citien seems t e t keep salesmen ut his hair.

Yu see, we just heard ne manuacturer eplaining this emplyees, we simply had t uy all this new and imprved machinery, t make ur prducts etter and at lesscst, in rder t sell them against the cmpetitin. Otherwiseneither yu nr I might even have js much lnger. But withthis equipment, and the sales rce we have, we eel s sure gd usiness that I think the irm can stand a small raise reverydy inclding me, thank gdness and ne is gingthrugh. Just dnt rget t use this machinery, and push itt the est yur aility, i any us is ever t get antheaise.

Yu see, we just heard ne the wrkers eplaining t

a new immigrant, as tey walked away rm the meeting, thegd part this raise the ss is talking aut, sall as it maye, is what it will uy. Fr we are nw turning ut s muchgds every kind n this whle island, and everydy is sanius t sell what he is making r grwing, that yu can actually get mre r yur mney every year My prlem nw ist keep sme salesman rm getting my wie t uy a tentrerigeratr she desnt need in place the eightt ne shealready has s sn as she hears aut my raise But at let

Id rather have that wrry than e giving all the raise andhal my regular wages t the gvernment in taes, t spendr me, as '1 hear they d in Frwar

Te gvernment deserves a lt credit, we just heardPressr Dwntew Earth Bakward Drp Institute sayIt culd have stepped in very easily, three r ur years ag,when everydy was yelling panic It culd have startedspawning ureaus and susidies and cntrls all ver the landscape Instead, ur gvernment simply let ecnmic nature

wrk its wn marvelus recvery. And the nly lasting resultwas that s many what had ere een luries the ewhave nw ecme cmmnplace parts the standard living the masses. Fr the manuacturers simply had t ind larger markets r their athtus r encyclpedias r raincats in

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Fable Frm The (Hardly) Pat

rdr t tay i bi T d ti thy ad t bm mriit l t m th d thy alrady ad a wll at w ad irad prdti thy wr mplld t

bt mr alm ad lwr pri dpri i alwaysa pradr tr prprity i allwd t r it atralr

"Th pla r t lk r ratly irad lm wt hard almaar ay "i t th arm markt Vrw t hryadd til ar tti rih bt almt all tm ar li tir at. d lli plty fat bid Ty ar idpdt a milliair t ba bdy tll 'm what t d ad thy dpd bdy

bt thml S d't try t ll 'm jt lt 'm did tby Bt i thm ry a

Y kw w t ard a airly ld ma ay Im bii t tik w tat mayb I'll rtir i atr pl yar Hai b jt a rdiary wrkma all my li rtaily d't ha a lt my Bt ha b aia littl r i I am t Backward Wit almt rythiatally tti apr ad tax ry lw I tik I amak t all riht d my wi ad I a ha a lt r a w yar jt di m t ti w ha alwaywatd t d

"Y ld t tr dwtw w jt hard awi ay " d dlar ty t i mr d ad prttir ti all th t t' almt a i d thy try hard t ll 'm t y it' all a bdy a d t t i a plaad t aa witt byi mti d't rallyd

"Wll d lk w jt hard Ki Ramrd ay rmth rt pr i pala, "a y a I'm i ihi Nt ly d I lk t ih b that't ait way I kt t t rah ari dlati tat wat m t ltir prblm r thm T mai ra Backward i mi rward at tday i that yr rmt a rdt tak ar y or yr prblm S y' ad t lth prblm yrl mtly a idiidal

"rally I tik th rl ha b prtty d ati tat rmrly rat ad am try t UitdStat mria hi am wa Thma Jr I bli

aid: "Tat rmt i bt w ki ih

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A Fable From The (Hardly) Past

g o o og o a c I hk h wa goo podd h kg do o a gog

a o pac wh h go My w I caa yo a oo y kpg p w ow gawok o a Ad y a kow a oy way hy cag a a y rucing o dpa

Th a I wa hg ow I go o kgao wha ha happd o pa wy ya o yoh a ad y ow Ad I ca o cocoha y ocy ad y coy away adg o

wad o o o o wo a ag I o o ha ag oca c oody podc o po oy o d og g podcd ad gy dd So h wo coy oay odpodco ad away opa o a pychoogy o acy Wh a ak cooy yody podc opo wo wag o d o co y acSo who coy oay o opodcoad away opa o a pychoogy o adac. Bo a a a choc co dow o h : You itr going to v no lsmn t ll nd million tionclrs trying to ivid t too littl or no tion lrs nd million slsmn trying to mov t too mu

Ad I do k ay do a o wc h y I kow ha yo acay ag; ad a yo agog o a a appy ad popo ao j o og ayo ha o hadod ad o go k y wo o yo cy o h go hod

I ac I o h pood wdo o cogao o a I ak Bcw D1O Institut ao gg a Doco Dg a a wad Thy ad ohg dog I wo a ad ad ; ha wa h ga o ga Bcwr ao B hy ao ad oody o wok o nyting, wad ady ogS I ga h Pd o I a a I gd ad rn akg ack o a way ad od d

hk o Wch I gog o do So yo ok pa d kgdo I g ack I h h ayw h wod oday

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A Fable From the (Hardly) Past

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