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1 1 Build a flight of stairs up to your front door This is probably one of first things Normals understand about disabled access, that is that stairs and steps are not good for wheelchair users, mothers with pushchairs and so on. The slight problem with this is, in terms of building design, this realisation is 300 years too late and it is going to take a few more decades before steps and stairs are fully complimented by ramps and lifts.

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The inside you will find the goodwills from the disable-people's .....

Transcript of 74ways201108012046 110809185621-phpapp01

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11Build a flight of stairs up to your front

doorThis is probably one of first things Normals understand about disabled access, that is that stairs and steps are not good for

wheelchair users, mothers with pushchairs and so on. The slight problem with this is, in terms of building design, this

realisation is 300 years too late and it is going to take a few more decades before steps and stairs are fully

complimented by ramps and lifts.

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22Send a blind person a letter in the

smallest print possible

This is clearly a cruel thing to do and should only be reserved for special occasions. There are two issues here for Normals to understand. Firstly, there are many degrees of blindness which goes from a mild sight problem to total blindness. Secondly, blind people have a number of ways

of tackling reading issues including using large print or Braille, or employing a Normal as a reader!

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33Tell a disabled person they are better

off deadWhile not many Normals would actually say this, I do wonder how many

think this. Society and the media gives out many messages on disability every day and most of this is negative.. but why?

Unfortunately, the fear of disability has been used to control Normals’ behaviour for centuries.

Lets take the most harmless and good willed of messages, the Green Cross Code. On the surface this is just a road safety campaign but how does it work? It instils the fear that if you do not cross the road

properly you may get run over and die… or even worst become disabled… so does this mean disabled people do not need to cross the

road safely?

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44Remind disabled people that special

schools are for special peopleAnd normal schools are for normals? Many normals fail to

understand that the last 100 years of special schools has been similar to the apartheid system that once existed in South Africa and has been central to disabled people’s exclusion and alienation within society. While it is true some disabled people need education adapted to their

level of ability, there is no reason why this can not be done within a mainstream school. You can never underestimate the social benefits of mainstream education for disabled

children and young normals alike.

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55When you can’t understand what a

person with a speech impairment says on the phone, just hang up

This is an excellent way to getting yourself crossed off their Christmas Card list! I have experienced this many many times and it is one of the most annoying things ever. As

someone with a speech impairment, I do not expect Normals to understand every word I say, but I do expect

them to make an effort.

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66When you can not help a disabled person, tell them to see their social

workerMany normals are under the illusion that social workers are

the fairy godmothers for disabled people, while many disabled people are under the illusion that social workers are workers of the devil. The reality is social workers for

many disabled people are merely gate keepers to personal care services. Rather than solving problems, it could be

argued that social services create a whole new set of problems for disabled people.

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77Always assume that a disabled

person’s personal assistant is a family member

I employed a female older personal assistant for a number of years and I lost count of how many times people assumed

she was my mother (I wish!), it got to the point where I corrected people before they said a word. While disabled people may indeed bring family members with them, they

may also be staff so never assume to avoid embarrassment!

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88Never talk to a disabled person directly,

talk to their carers instead

This is often called ‘does he take sugar’ syndrome and effects many poor unfortunate normals. Whether this is due to embarrassment or plain ignorance I am not sure,

but it certainly comes across as rude.Disabled people have voices even if they are not verbal, so

normals need to conquer their fears and learn to talk with disabled people, there is much to gain and little to lose!

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99Nominate a disabled person for a

bravery award, just because they are disabled!

While I accept having a disability can indeed be difficult at times, it certainly does not deserve a bravery award! When a child undergoes 200 operations, surely questions need to

be asked… are they brave or just stupid? Life is a dangerous game and so everyone disabled person or Normal who plays it could be seen as brave! Too much

gold plating for my liking!

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1010Always ask a disabled person what is

wrong with them?

This is a classic question from Normals who are often obsessed with medical labels, in the hope it will ‘inform’

them. Often, the thing wrong with disabled people is normals asking too many questions! Even when a medical

label is given, like cerebral palsy, it is so ambiguous it could mean anything anyway.

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1111Always encourage a disabled person to

seek a cure, whatever it costs?Many Normals are obsessed with the idea of cure and

believe all disabled people want to one day be cured! This is certainly not the case. While some disabled people do indeed desire a cure, many do not and some like myself

are actively oppose to any notion of cure. If you are what you are, why would you change? Would a

normal change their gender or skin colour? If not, why should disabled people be any different?

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1212Always put the disabled entrance of a

building at the back! This is a classic way of letting disabled people know how

much you actually value them, which is probably not a great deal! Equality should be about being valued in the

same way and this literally starts at the front door!If for practical reasons, you have to have a separate entrance for wheelchair users, make sure it is well sign

posted, well lit and at least welcoming!

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1313Always talk to a deaf person loudly and

keep your mouth covered.Like with blindness, there are many degrees of deafness and

deaf people have many different ways of communicating including lip reading. However, in order to lip read normals,

it is helpful that their mouths are not covered or out of sight. There is no need for normals to act the fool and

exaggerate what they are saying, just talk normally and clearly. Talking loud to deaf people is one of those poor

afflictions many Normals just can’t help but try not to if you can!

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1414Remind a disabled swimmer using arm

bands they can’t actually swimI have always been amused with the concept of a non-swimmer. Logic

would argue a non-swimmer is someone who is not actually in the water. However, normals strangely use the term to either mean weak

unaided swimmers or swimmers who use arm bands or a jacket regardless of their age. As someone who actually uses arm bands or mainly a jacket, I certainly do not consider myself as a non-swimmer and I have the medals and swimming hats to prove it! I have visited

many pools around the world and I love swimming lengths. This can be interesting when ‘non-swimmers’ are not permitted in the deep end and

I had many a ‘discussion’ with Normal lifeguards, the brave ones at least!

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1515Always assume disabled people are asexual

This is sadly normals’ wishful thinking and one of those classic myths. For the record, the majority of disabled

people can lead as active and complex sex lives as anyone else and the severity of one’s impairment often makes no difference to this. Disabled people can be straight, bi or gay, they can have a wide range of fetishes, desires and fantasies, they can be interested in one night stands or long term relationships, and they can have children and

families all just like normals! There may be extra practical difficulties for some disabled people but this all adds to the

fun.

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1616Introduce a disabled friend to your family as a

victim that suffers from their condition

Normals love words like suffers or victims, especially to describe disabled people. The majority of disabled people

do not either relate to or even like these words… Why? Well, having impairment is merely a state of being and not

something which causes ‘suffering’ although some disabled people can experience pain from their condition.Victim is

also a state of mind, which disabled people may not associate with, except maybe being a victim of normal’s

oppression of themselves!

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1717Always park in a disabled parking bay

It is amazing how often Normals feel the need to use disabled parking spaces. Technically, you cannot use a parking space without a blue badge, which used to be

orange, so even if you are disabled, if you have no badge, it should not be parking in a disabled space. This small fact does not stop normals from displaying their ignorance and arrogance with pride as they continue to park in the easiest

spots available, reserved for people like me, not them! I often put polite notes on their windscreen to remind them they are illegally parked and if I catch normals at it, I often

challenge them politely!

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1818Ask someone with dyslexia to read a

book out aloud

This is cruel but I guess often happened when schools were less sensitive of disability issues and dyslexia was unheard off. Asking anyone, normals or disabled people, to read out aloud can create difficulties. So can asking people to write stuff down can be difficult, always better to avoid them to

avoid difficulties and embarrassment.

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1919Invite your wheelchair using friend to your penthouse suite when the lift is

brokenThis is a very clever of pretending you have a penthouse

suite when you haven’t, your friend would never know! However, it is not very nice! Why not meet your friend

somewhere more accessible or wait until the lift is mended? Even if your pad is not a penthouse, think about

meeting friends in more accessible venues.

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2020Always be patronising towards disabled

peoplePatronisation is a very misunderstood concept and

something inherit to many normals. Patronisation is the deliberate or accidental undermining of someone’s

intelligence People who are patronising are patronising because they do not know they are patronising, if people

who are patronising knew they were patronising they would not be patronising! This certainly makes it very difficult to challenge anyone who is patronising, as they often simply do not understand they had caused any offence, we must

keep helping the patronising!

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2121Complain that disabled people want

more rights than everyone elseSince the enactment of the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA), some normals are under the illusion that disabled people now have more rights than anyone else! While on

paper, this may well seem the case, people seem to forget what the DDA is about.. to stop normals treating ‘us’ less favourably eg not like aliens! It is not about who has more

rights then anyone else, but how they are used! While Normals have it easy, they always seem to want more…

speech impairment anyone?

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2222Explain to people that if you can not

talk, you can not communicateI was once told this by a youth worker at the end of a week long disability course, I just wondered where they had been all week! It is widely recognise that even when someone is able to talk, the majority of this is actually body language!

Everyone can communicate in their own way, even if it is just in the way they behave! The question is whether normals can listen! Listening is not just about hearing words but

understanding meanings, I know many normals have a big problem of this!

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2323Proudly tell people there is no difference

between learning difficulty and mental illness

Normals often make this mistake despite the vast differences between the people with learning difficulties and people

who have a mental illness. Mixing them up is a great recipe to end up being killed as both groups are very sensitive

over how they are labelled. A learning difficulties relates to how someone is able to learn and express their intelligence

while a mental illness relates to someone’s ability to express and comprehend their emotions. Clearly, it is not

as simple as this but it gives normals the general idea!

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2424Complain that people with challenging

behaviour are just naughtyChallenging behaviour is very misunderstood by normals, who fail to realise it relates to communication and not being

understood, deliberately or not. If any normal was not listened to by everyone around them for a few days, they would very quickly have challenging behaviour, including

myself (as a disabled person)! The trick is to learn to understand people and the best ways to communicate with them. Rather than assuming they are being naughty, find

out the reasons behind their actions and behaviours! Common sense eh?

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2525Refer to someone with cerebral palsy

as a dribbling spasticWhile as someone who does indeed have cerebral palsy, and also

someone who dribbles (and I don’t mean this book), I can and often have referred to myself as a dribbling spastic! However, it will be either a very brave or stupid normal who refers to me or

someone else with cerebral palsy in this way! The reason for this apparently inconsistency is interesting. Without going into too much science, the term ‘dribbling spastic’ is for all intents and

purposes is a negative and offensive term. However, self-degrogancy is a powerful tool which I and other disabled people use for affect and comedy. Other terms like this include cripple.

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2626Tell everyone your disabled friend

suffers from his conditionMany normals have this obsession with this term, suffer.

They assume I suffer from cerebral palsy but do they suffer from blue eyes or brown hair? While some disabled people

do have and indeed suffer from pain as a result of their impairment, disabled people do not suffer from their

conditions! I have cerebral palsy and this needs to be recognised, ‘have’ not ‘suffer’! I have often needed to

correct newspaper reporters who have been desperate to say I suffer from cerebral palsy, those who ignored me

understood the meaning of suffer in the end!

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2727When meeting a disabled person for the

first time, always ask very personal questions about their conditions.

This is another obsession of normals. They assume for some bizarre reason that if you are disabled, you are public

property and they can ask you anything they want about your impairments regardless how personal it is. As a

professional disabled person, I feel it is important often to let poor normals to ask their questions so that they can

dispel their myths, my attitude is better out then in. But at times, it is difficult being perfect, honestly!

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2828When a disabled person achieves

something, call them lucky!

Lucky! The facts that disabled people have to work as hard, if not harder, to achieve the same thing is often ignored by

normals, who thinks it is a matter of luck. As a recent winner of the community category of the ‘Enterprising

Young Brits’ award, I can certainly tell you that luck does not come into it!

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2929Complain there are too many disabled

people on TVMaybe but not in the right way! While it could be argued that

disability appears in one way or another in most television programmes but the question is whether it is the right kind of representation. Disability is often used in fiction and is often used in an symbolic way to portray a negative viewpoint.

Characters are often 1 dimensional and only exist to prove a point. Things are improving and disabled people are being better represented in programmes such as ‘all about me’ and the best

so far, ‘a thing called me’. But there needs to be more 3D disabled people on TV, not less!

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3030Remember that nappies and bibs are

just for babies, not adults!There are two issues here. Firstly, some disabled children and adults do indeed

use nappies and wear bibs. People who have incontinence may use nappies, people just find them easier than using the toilet due to mobility problems or people just may find them more comfortable. Bibs are used for people who

drool or are messy eaters, like myself! They can vary widely in type, size and style and I know a great supplier! The second issue is language, normals,

especially professional normals, often have a great problem using terms like nappies and bibs in relation to adults and go to take pains to avoid such terms. While some disabled people, often those who have became incontinent in later life, may not like the term nappy, disabled people who have always nappies are likely not to have a problem with the term. The same can be said about the

term bib!

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3131Understand that night clubs are no

places for disabled people

Why not? The way normals come out night clubs incoherent wrecks, why does it matter some disabled people have a head start when they enter the club! Disabled people can drink (like a fish sometimes), can boogie, can stay up to

the early hours, can vomit and can suffer a hangover! They can also find a bra under their pillow and not remember

why!

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3232Complain there are too many disabled

children in mainstream schoolsIn recent years, after a decade where normals felt inclusion of disabled children into mainstream school was a cool idea, there has started to be a revolt, mainly from a very special and bizarre

type of normal, called a teacher. The teacher seems to be a creature who lives in their own world and believe hard work is for others! Now the honeymoon period of inclusion is over and now teachers realise they need to change their systems and structures to be more inclusive to all their pupils, they do not

often seem up for the challenge! Some teachers even actively promote exclusion instead of inclusion, very bizarre normals

indeed!

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3333Criticise airlines for helping disabled

people when its delays the flightWhile normals may think and hope disabled people stay at home all day, many of us do travel a lot in this country and aboard! For

a wheelchair user, the operation of going on a flight can be a stressful and dehumanising experience. While individual staff

can be very helpful, or maybe not in some cases, the majority of airlines have policies on disabled passengers which belong in a

prehistoric museum, they have a very backwards idea of disability compared to other businesses! If an airline did their

jobsproperly, disabled passengers will always be put on first and so no delays, however I admit did does not always happen!

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3434Never let someone with a speech

impairment go onto the radioThis was once told to me by a senior member of the BBC’s equality unit at a launch of a campaign on disabled people and the media organised by Scope. I found her comments

quite remarkable and our conversation became quite heated! It was ironic as I had been on BBC Radio both locally and nationally before and since this incident! If a

programme is presented in the right way, there is no reason at all may people with speech impairments can not go onto the radio and presenters have often commented

on how understandable I have been!

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3535Ask why there are no disabled people at

University

Where have you been? Disabled people have been going to University for at least the last 20 years and that includes

myself! With the inclusion of dyslexia, the number of disabled people at university rose dramatically in the

1990s, along with vast improvements in the accessibility of universities!

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3636Always refer to disabled people as the

Handicapped or InvalidsThese are two more terms that normals enjoy using to the

much pain of disabled people. The term handicapped is particularly hated and it comes from ‘cap in hand’ and

refers to begging. Invalid seems simply means not valid, as a person!

Not all disabled people are totally obsessed and over-sensitive to the language used but it is important and why I do not advocate strict rules, some awareness of what you

are saying is helpful.

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3737Remind disabled people that a

computer is an luxury itemThis was once said to my parents by the Round Table when

they were trying to obtain funding to buy me a computer, one of the essential items in my whole life. This was 1982

and admittedly most Normals had no idea what a computer was, let alone how important they were and has become.Computers have been essential in the liberation of many

disabled people, especially with the internet! Without a computer, I would not be able to do half the stuff I can do

now, including writing this book.

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3838Raise concerns at work to whether a disabled

person can actually compete with others in the work place

I would be lying to say that every disabled person can compete equally with every normal in every job because

some normal needs more help than others! In the right job, Disabled people can perform as equal as anyone else with the right support and assistance. Working from home can

help many disabled people meet their needs without normals getting in the way. Normals may worry about competing with disabled people because it might show

them up, just think about it!

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3939Be proud to say you will never be

disabled yourselfVery sadly for normals, and luckily for disabled people, this is

certainly unlikely to be the case! The reality is unless died prematurely through accident or murder, everyone is likely to become impaired and therefore disabled to some point

in their lives, it is only a matter of time!So when you laugh at disabled people, or think removing

barriers is a complete waste of time, just remember one day, you will probably be in the position, at least you will

not be a normal anymore!

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4040Remember, Disabled people can not do

windsurfingThere are not many things that disabled people cannot do with the

right support and if they really want to and windsurfing is one of them! There are 2 ways for disabled people to do windsurfing. The easy way is an double hull board which is big enough for a wheelchair user and an instructor. The board is very stable and

while you will likely wear a wetsuit and buoyancy aid, it is unlikely you will get wet… very boring indeed. The hard way is one I learnt myself. After trying to stand up on a normal board and failing miserably, I suddenly realised that maybe I could sit on the board and have my legs dangling on the sides. This is certainly more exciting and a lot more wet, certainly more fun!

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4141Always held your meetings upstairs in a

premise without a lift

Cruel and typical of many normal committee meetings. This reminds me of when I went to a course at Aberystwyth

University, I asked where the lift was and they said upstairs, which was perfectly true!

When planning a meeting, think about the access needs of all the participants and make it as inclusive as you can, I

know you may just be a normal, but you can try!

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4242Always assume disabled people will

help you out for freeIn your dreams! But sadly, disabled people have been helping out

normals for years for free! There is now a revolt as disabled people have started smelling the coffee and realise they are

being exploited. After an era of consultations, it seems well-paid normals use consulting disabled people as a free way on getting

help with their job, so they get the promotion, while those who have helped them get nothing! There is now a move within

‘useR involvement’ circles to start paying disabled people for their expertise. Some disabled people like myself have set

themselves up as disability consultants, charging organisations the full rate!

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4343Remember that all disabled people

think the same

Are all normals the same? So why should disabled people be? Disabled people are as diverse as anyone else in any way imaginable. If you ask 100 disabled people what they want or need, you will get 124 different answers! Disabled

people also do not always get on with other disabled people and can have arguments and debates just like

normals!

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4444Argue that more money should be spent on

cures and less on disabled accessThis was the view of the late Christopher Reeves, who sadly

took his personal agenda and used it against disabled people. While most normals saw this Superman figure as a

courageous hero for his desire to walk at all costs, many disabled people including myself felt he had simply not come to terms with his condition. On a purely economic perspective, curing every disabled people in the country,

nearly 10 million of us, will cost normal taxpayers an awful lot more than providing disabled access ever could!

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4545Complain language is not important

and lets call a spade a spadeMany f**king b**tard normals and their b*tches say this

about terms like nigger, ladies and handicapped. Language has been, is and will always remain a very important tool in

defining ourselves and how we interact with each other. The political correctness of the 1980s and 1990s was a

bad attempt by normals to use appropriate language without having to put their brains in gear. Using appropriate language is about using common sense and many normals

have a problem with this!

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4646Understand that if you can’t read, you

can’t use the internetThere has been awareness recently by normals on the accessibility of the internet. This is mainly been related to people with visual impairments but this is only part of the issue. With the right equipment, software, and website

design, the Internet can be accessible to everyone. A new field which I have some input into is making websites

more accessible to people with learning difficulties, helping to design a wide of symbols and pictures to make websites

easier to understand!

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4747Remember that disabled people can not

live on their ownThis statement causes a problem as I have been living on my own for the last 12 years and 10 years in my own flat. While I employ staff to assist me, it is very much by own home and I like it that way! While myself and many other

disabled people like living on our own, others may prefer to live with their parents, with friends or even choose to live in

some kind of residential care because that meet their needs. This is just like normals but they call residential care things like boarding schools, oilrigs and the Army!

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4848Argue that disabled people must realise

they are the underdogs of societyWhere on earth do normals get their stupid ideas from?

Disabled people are equal to normals. Well actually, I could argue disabled people are better than normals and had always believed it must be so boring and difficult being

normal, having to walk straight and talk properly!The sad reality is many normals do believe that disabled people are inferior and this is very much at the core of the

big problem, all I know is the answer is 42!

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4949Complain that disabled people are

economic burdensThis is a classic normal myth which is popularised by national and

local governments. I heard a passionate speech once on this which crystallised the whole craziness of this. Disabled people do not receive cash from the Government and stuff it into mattresses! Money merely

flows through disabled people to other people, they may pay care staff, who buy foods in a supermarket, who pays the wages of their normal

staff, who pays taxes which goes back to disabled people. What normals fail to understand is that if disabled people disappeared

tomorrow, half of the normals left would be out of a job! Disability is big business!

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5050When you do not understand someone with a speech

impairment, just say yes or ignore them.Yeah right! Many normals have tried to ignore me and what I

had to say and always failed miserably! When someone has had a speech impairment all their lives, they

automatically know when someone has heard what they have said and when they are pretending. If someone is

pretending, I may often say stupid things like ‘your house has burnt down!’ until they start listening.Listening to

someone with a speech impairment just requires some patience and please never feel embarrassed to ask them

to repeat themselves because they often more than happy to do so.

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5151Always help a disabled person but

never ask them howThis is exactly like the Boy Scout who helps the old lady

across the road and ends up with being beaten on the head with her handbag, because that was not what she

wanted. Many disabled people appreciate a helping hand from time to time, just like normals, but you cannot assume

they need or what help they want! Getting unhelpful help from poor friendly normals becomes amusing when I go

aboard due to the communication difficulties both ways as I often can not make foreign normals understand I do not

need help.

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5252Remember, if you can not see it, it does

not exist

Normals think that people are only disabled when they can visually see that they are disabled. However, many

disabled people have hidden impairments like epilepsy, diabetes, dyslexia and so on. These often create as many difficulties as for people with very visual impairments. It is therefore important for normals to not make assumptions

about someone’s ability and to be open minded, difficult for some normals I know!

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5353Understand that disabled people always

need looking afterThis all depends what you actually mean by looking after! It

is firstly true to say that many disabled people do not need any assistance at all and can quite happily ‘look after’

themselves without any difficulties. For others, like myself, a range of personal assistance (care for those stupid

normals) is needed and usually means employing staff either directly or through an agency. This however certainly

does not mean I am either being looked after or need looking after, not like many male straight married normals

anyway!

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5454Tell everyone that disabled people can

not driveI personally do not drive out of choice, I do not have the time

or energy with everything else. I however do have a car, which my staff drive. I could drive if I want to, but who

wants to do everything!Many disabled people drive with adaptations to their cars and disabled people are allowed

to start driving at 16, a year before normals, maybe because disabled people make better drivers! There is also

a special rental scheme for disabled people, drivers and passengers, called Motability.

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5555Complain how easy it is being disabled

Oh really? Having impairment is often not the problem but it is the discrimination disabled people face on a daily basis.

Understanding what it is like being disabled is not like spending a day in a wheelchair or going around a building blindfolded, this only has limited benefits. When a normal

spend a day in a wheelchair, they meet new challenges but it is exactly like putting me on a surfboard. People who use wheelchairs everyday do not have problems using a wheelchair in the same way as a normals who go surfing everyday does not have problems using their surfboard.

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5656Make sure you know everything about

your disabled friend’s conditionWhy? In exchange can they ask you your penis size and how often you masturbate? Knowing about your friend’s condition will not help you know your friend any better.

Someone condition is private to them and if they wish to discuss it with you, it is up to them! Normals have always

had an obsession with conditions and while it can be interesting to know stuff, it does not mean it will mean

anything and have anything to do with their friendship with disabled people. If a disabled person has a specific access need, they normally will not hesitate in letting people know.

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5757Never ask a wheelchair user to go for a

walk as it will offend themThe idea of not using the term ‘walk’ to a wheelchair user or

the term ‘see’ to a blind person is complete nonsense. I do not know any disabled people who advocate this kind of

political correctness and is usually created by over-sensitive normals that are totally embarrassed around

disabled people. Words have their literal meaning and a broader meaning. I wrote this book but I have not been anywhere near either pen or paper, as a typed it into my

computers, but I am still a writer!

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5858Always build stairs without handrails

While wheelchair users most often prefer ramps not stairs, unless they have gone crazy, disabled people who can

walk with difficulties are often able to use stairs either with support or these things call handrails!

If I am on my own and I hit stairs or even a few steps which do not have handrails, I can be completely stuck like there is an invisible brick wall. However, I have often been seen going down stairs on my bum! The worst type of stairs on

spiral ones and I have panicked a few times on these stairs!

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5959Remember that ramps should be as

steep as possible

I think this is what they actually believe in Spanish hotels and in places like Romania! I say this because their ramps are as steep as possible a have definitely been designed

by normals!Ramps need to be designed to be used, not just by

wheelchair users but normals with pushchairs and suitcases on wheels. Normals often do not realised that

making the world more accessible helps them too!

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6060Remind disabled people that they are

being punished for the sins of their previous life

I believe it was an ex football normal manager, Glynn Hoddle who famously made this remark and he had to resign

because of this. The question which has to be asked is was he forced to resign because he said this remark in public or because he believed them. The bible, from my

own perspective as an atheist, does not do disabled people any favours and with like everything, provides very

contradictory messages on disability.

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6161Complain that it must be very cheap

being disabled

And what planet do you live on? Being disabled, unless trapped in residential care without any meaningful live, is certainly not cheap to say the least. For many disabled

people there are a whole range of additional costs which needs to be taken into consideration including personal

assistance, specialist equipment, extra heating if you feel the costs, extra washing for a wide of reasons, or so on.

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6262Argue that disabled people can never be equal

It all depends what you mean by equal. Disabled People will never be the same as normals and most disabled people would never want to be the same. However, I believe that fundamentally that disabled people should have the same equality of opportunity to be educated with their peers, to work in a way appropriate to their skills, to participate in

leisure activities, to have personal and sexual relationships, to contribute to society in a meaningful

manner. However, it is up to individual disabled people as to decide if they wish to take up this opportunity and they

have the right not to as well!

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6363Always see the disability, never the

person

This is the opposite to the slogan of the Government campaign of disability called ‘See the person’. I appeared in an advert about the Disability Discrimination Act, in the

national press in October 1999. The campaign made a mild impact but was criticised by many disabled people.

Neither slogan is exactly correct as disability and impairment is often a part of a person and Normals should not just see

the person and ignore who they are in total!

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6464Remember, people who need to wear

helmets all the time are mentally retarded

I certainly do not believe this is the case! While I know many normals probably think this, as a helmet user myself, I

certainly do not have any form of learning difficulty. People use helmets on a full time basis for a number of reasons

including to protect their head when they are having ‘grand mal’ epileptic seizures or if they are prone to falls, like

myself.

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6565Argue everything was better in the

good old days

Normals often have this idealised view of the past and often say everything was so much better in the good old days.

For disabled people, the good old days meant being locked up in residential care homes, having inaccessible buildings,

being educated in special schools, not having communication aids, not having computers or the internet, not having hearing aids, not having any rights, not having advocacy and basically no voice. Do you get the picture

now?

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6666Always use a disabled toilet as a store

room and always keep it lockedYou would be surprised how often I have seen this happen in

places like schools and student unions; cleaners normally use them. In many pubs and restaurants, to my complete annoyance many normal managers feel it necessary to keep their disabled toilets locked while they keep their

toilets for normals unlocked! There reasons for this to stop drug taking or sex, which is charming! My belief is either all

the toilets should be locked or none of them. I wondered how long the policy would last if normals had to ask for the

key every time they wanted a pee.

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6767Remember that buses and trains were

never designed for wheelchair users

While this would have been the case 20 years or just 10 years ago, it is certainly becoming less of the case now. More and more buses and trains are now accessible to

wheelchair users and people with a range of impairments. But public transport needs to be improved a lot to make it more user friendly for normals as well as disabled people.

While the train is ideal for big cities, I still find the car easier for rural places.

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6868Argue that disability is just a minority

issue, so why bother?

While in the past, disability was considered a minority issue, the number of disabled people used in Government

statements have continued to rise from 6.8 million to 8.5 million to now 9.8 millions and this can be seen as an

under-estimate.Therefore disability is increasing and is becoming an issue for normals, who now have to deal with the painful issue of

disability.

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6969Understand that are those who are

disabled and those are not and never shall they meet.

Normals believe that being normal or being disabled is an absolute and you will either be one or another. While it is

true to some extent, this is not always the case and there is a grey area where the boundaries between disabled and

normal is blurred.

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7070Remember that only babies dribble,

adults who dribble are just lazy

As someone who dribbles all the time, I do not agree it have anything to do with being lazy and I am certainly not lazy.

Dribbling has always been a part of my life and something I am comfortable with! I wear a cloth bib all day when I am at

home. I was shocked the first time when I found out normals actually dribble sometimes like when they are

sleeping, I always thought this was my terrority!

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7171Remember, just 2 steps to your front

door is okay

Normals often say this to wheelchair users thinking this will not be a problem and even yep one step is difficult!

Wheelchair Users often do not enjoy being hauled up stairs or steps. As an European youth worker, I have run projects with disabled and normal young people in places in where our motto ‘making the impossible possible’ was very true!

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7272Send a deaf person an audio CD for

Christmas

It is apt that I am writing this one on Boxing Day! This is nasty and will probably end up with a normal’s lights being

punched out! Sending a blind person a normal book will provide the same results… maybe you should swap the

presents around?

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7373Never laugh at a disabled joke

And why not? If you have not been laughing at all the many jokes in this book than I have not done my job properly, have I? Disability can be as funny as anything else and

there will soon be more disability specific comedies on TV, just wait and see!

I am always telling disabled jokes but it is important that disabled people tell their own jokes… Bernard Manning

tells good jokes but he is not the right person to tell them!

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7474Never buy a book on disability

Unless you have borrowed this book from a friend, or from the library, too late! If you have not realised by now or decided to go to the back the book, this book is about

DISABILITY and how normals get it wrong!

If by any chance you have stolen the book, please return it at your earliest convenience!

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11Build a flight of stairs up to your front

doorThis is probably one of first things Normals understand about disabled access, that is that stairs and steps are not good for

wheelchair users, mothers with pushchairs and so on. The slight problem with this is, in terms of building design, this

realisation is 300 years too late and it is going to take a few more decades before steps and stairs are fully

complimented by ramps and lifts.

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22Send a blind person a letter in the

smallest print possible

This is clearly a cruel thing to do and should only be reserved for special occasions. There are two issues here for Normals to understand. Firstly, there are many degrees of blindness which goes from a mild sight problem to total blindness. Secondly, blind people have a number of ways

of tackling reading issues including using large print or Braille, or employing a Normal as a reader!

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33Tell a disabled person they are better

off deadWhile not many Normals would actually say this, I do wonder how many

think this. Society and the media gives out many messages on disability every day and most of this is negative.. but why?

Unfortunately, the fear of disability has been used to control Normals’ behaviour for centuries.

Lets take the most harmless and good willed of messages, the Green Cross Code. On the surface this is just a road safety campaign but how does it work? It instils the fear that if you do not cross the road

properly you may get run over and die… or even worst become disabled… so does this mean disabled people do not need to cross the

road safely?

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44Remind disabled people that special

schools are for special peopleAnd normal schools are for normals? Many normals fail to

understand that the last 100 years of special schools has been similar to the apartheid system that once existed in South Africa and has been central to disabled people’s exclusion and alienation within society. While it is true some disabled people need education adapted to their

level of ability, there is no reason why this can not be done within a mainstream school. You can never underestimate the social benefits of mainstream education for disabled

children and young normals alike.

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55When you can’t understand what a

person with a speech impairment says on the phone, just hang up

This is an excellent way to getting yourself crossed off their Christmas Card list! I have experienced this many many times and it is one of the most annoying things ever. As

someone with a speech impairment, I do not expect Normals to understand every word I say, but I do expect

them to make an effort.

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66When you can not help a disabled person, tell them to see their social

workerMany normals are under the illusion that social workers are

the fairy godmothers for disabled people, while many disabled people are under the illusion that social workers are workers of the devil. The reality is social workers for

many disabled people are merely gate keepers to personal care services. Rather than solving problems, it could be

argued that social services create a whole new set of problems for disabled people.

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77Always assume that a disabled

person’s personal assistant is a family member

I employed a female older personal assistant for a number of years and I lost count of how many times people assumed

she was my mother (I wish!), it got to the point where I corrected people before they said a word. While disabled people may indeed bring family members with them, they

may also be staff so never assume to avoid embarrassment!

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88Never talk to a disabled person directly,

talk to their carers instead

This is often called ‘does he take sugar’ syndrome and effects many poor unfortunate normals. Whether this is due to embarrassment or plain ignorance I am not sure,

but it certainly comes across as rude.Disabled people have voices even if they are not verbal, so

normals need to conquer their fears and learn to talk with disabled people, there is much to gain and little to lose!

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99Nominate a disabled person for a

bravery award, just because they are disabled!

While I accept having a disability can indeed be difficult at times, it certainly does not deserve a bravery award! When a child undergoes 200 operations, surely questions need to

be asked… are they brave or just stupid? Life is a dangerous game and so everyone disabled person or Normal who plays it could be seen as brave! Too much

gold plating for my liking!

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1010Always ask a disabled person what is

wrong with them?

This is a classic question from Normals who are often obsessed with medical labels, in the hope it will ‘inform’

them. Often, the thing wrong with disabled people is normals asking too many questions! Even when a medical

label is given, like cerebral palsy, it is so ambiguous it could mean anything anyway.

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1111Always encourage a disabled person to

seek a cure, whatever it costs?Many Normals are obsessed with the idea of cure and

believe all disabled people want to one day be cured! This is certainly not the case. While some disabled people do indeed desire a cure, many do not and some like myself

are actively oppose to any notion of cure. If you are what you are, why would you change? Would a

normal change their gender or skin colour? If not, why should disabled people be any different?

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1212Always put the disabled entrance of a

building at the back! This is a classic way of letting disabled people know how

much you actually value them, which is probably not a great deal! Equality should be about being valued in the

same way and this literally starts at the front door!If for practical reasons, you have to have a separate entrance for wheelchair users, make sure it is well sign

posted, well lit and at least welcoming!

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1313Always talk to a deaf person loudly and

keep your mouth covered.Like with blindness, there are many degrees of deafness and

deaf people have many different ways of communicating including lip reading. However, in order to lip read normals,

it is helpful that their mouths are not covered or out of sight. There is no need for normals to act the fool and

exaggerate what they are saying, just talk normally and clearly. Talking loud to deaf people is one of those poor

afflictions many Normals just can’t help but try not to if you can!

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1414Remind a disabled swimmer using arm

bands they can’t actually swimI have always been amused with the concept of a non-swimmer. Logic

would argue a non-swimmer is someone who is not actually in the water. However, normals strangely use the term to either mean weak

unaided swimmers or swimmers who use arm bands or a jacket regardless of their age. As someone who actually uses arm bands or mainly a jacket, I certainly do not consider myself as a non-swimmer and I have the medals and swimming hats to prove it! I have visited

many pools around the world and I love swimming lengths. This can be interesting when ‘non-swimmers’ are not permitted in the deep end and

I had many a ‘discussion’ with Normal lifeguards, the brave ones at least!

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1515Always assume disabled people are asexual

This is sadly normals’ wishful thinking and one of those classic myths. For the record, the majority of disabled

people can lead as active and complex sex lives as anyone else and the severity of one’s impairment often makes no difference to this. Disabled people can be straight, bi or gay, they can have a wide range of fetishes, desires and fantasies, they can be interested in one night stands or long term relationships, and they can have children and

families all just like normals! There may be extra practical difficulties for some disabled people but this all adds to the

fun.

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1616Introduce a disabled friend to your family as a

victim that suffers from their condition

Normals love words like suffers or victims, especially to describe disabled people. The majority of disabled people

do not either relate to or even like these words… Why? Well, having impairment is merely a state of being and not

something which causes ‘suffering’ although some disabled people can experience pain from their condition.Victim is

also a state of mind, which disabled people may not associate with, except maybe being a victim of normal’s

oppression of themselves!

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1717Always park in a disabled parking bay

It is amazing how often Normals feel the need to use disabled parking spaces. Technically, you cannot use a parking space without a blue badge, which used to be

orange, so even if you are disabled, if you have no badge, it should not be parking in a disabled space. This small fact does not stop normals from displaying their ignorance and arrogance with pride as they continue to park in the easiest

spots available, reserved for people like me, not them! I often put polite notes on their windscreen to remind them they are illegally parked and if I catch normals at it, I often

challenge them politely!

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1818Ask someone with dyslexia to read a

book out aloud

This is cruel but I guess often happened when schools were less sensitive of disability issues and dyslexia was unheard off. Asking anyone, normals or disabled people, to read out aloud can create difficulties. So can asking people to write stuff down can be difficult, always better to avoid them to

avoid difficulties and embarrassment.

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1919Invite your wheelchair using friend to your penthouse suite when the lift is

brokenThis is a very clever of pretending you have a penthouse

suite when you haven’t, your friend would never know! However, it is not very nice! Why not meet your friend

somewhere more accessible or wait until the lift is mended? Even if your pad is not a penthouse, think about

meeting friends in more accessible venues.

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2020Always be patronising towards disabled

peoplePatronisation is a very misunderstood concept and

something inherit to many normals. Patronisation is the deliberate or accidental undermining of someone’s

intelligence People who are patronising are patronising because they do not know they are patronising, if people

who are patronising knew they were patronising they would not be patronising! This certainly makes it very difficult to challenge anyone who is patronising, as they often simply do not understand they had caused any offence, we must

keep helping the patronising!

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2121Complain that disabled people want

more rights than everyone elseSince the enactment of the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA), some normals are under the illusion that disabled people now have more rights than anyone else! While on

paper, this may well seem the case, people seem to forget what the DDA is about.. to stop normals treating ‘us’ less favourably eg not like aliens! It is not about who has more

rights then anyone else, but how they are used! While Normals have it easy, they always seem to want more…

speech impairment anyone?

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2222Explain to people that if you can not

talk, you can not communicateI was once told this by a youth worker at the end of a week long disability course, I just wondered where they had been all week! It is widely recognise that even when someone is able to talk, the majority of this is actually body language!

Everyone can communicate in their own way, even if it is just in the way they behave! The question is whether normals can listen! Listening is not just about hearing words but

understanding meanings, I know many normals have a big problem of this!

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2323Proudly tell people there is no difference

between learning difficulty and mental illness

Normals often make this mistake despite the vast differences between the people with learning difficulties and people

who have a mental illness. Mixing them up is a great recipe to end up being killed as both groups are very sensitive

over how they are labelled. A learning difficulties relates to how someone is able to learn and express their intelligence

while a mental illness relates to someone’s ability to express and comprehend their emotions. Clearly, it is not

as simple as this but it gives normals the general idea!

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2424Complain that people with challenging

behaviour are just naughtyChallenging behaviour is very misunderstood by normals, who fail to realise it relates to communication and not being

understood, deliberately or not. If any normal was not listened to by everyone around them for a few days, they would very quickly have challenging behaviour, including

myself (as a disabled person)! The trick is to learn to understand people and the best ways to communicate with them. Rather than assuming they are being naughty, find

out the reasons behind their actions and behaviours! Common sense eh?

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2525Refer to someone with cerebral palsy

as a dribbling spasticWhile as someone who does indeed have cerebral palsy, and also

someone who dribbles (and I don’t mean this book), I can and often have referred to myself as a dribbling spastic! However, it will be either a very brave or stupid normal who refers to me or

someone else with cerebral palsy in this way! The reason for this apparently inconsistency is interesting. Without going into too much science, the term ‘dribbling spastic’ is for all intents and

purposes is a negative and offensive term. However, self-degrogancy is a powerful tool which I and other disabled people use for affect and comedy. Other terms like this include cripple.

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2626Tell everyone your disabled friend

suffers from his conditionMany normals have this obsession with this term, suffer.

They assume I suffer from cerebral palsy but do they suffer from blue eyes or brown hair? While some disabled people

do have and indeed suffer from pain as a result of their impairment, disabled people do not suffer from their

conditions! I have cerebral palsy and this needs to be recognised, ‘have’ not ‘suffer’! I have often needed to

correct newspaper reporters who have been desperate to say I suffer from cerebral palsy, those who ignored me

understood the meaning of suffer in the end!

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2727When meeting a disabled person for the

first time, always ask very personal questions about their conditions.

This is another obsession of normals. They assume for some bizarre reason that if you are disabled, you are public

property and they can ask you anything they want about your impairments regardless how personal it is. As a

professional disabled person, I feel it is important often to let poor normals to ask their questions so that they can

dispel their myths, my attitude is better out then in. But at times, it is difficult being perfect, honestly!

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2828When a disabled person achieves

something, call them lucky!

Lucky! The facts that disabled people have to work as hard, if not harder, to achieve the same thing is often ignored by

normals, who thinks it is a matter of luck. As a recent winner of the community category of the ‘Enterprising

Young Brits’ award, I can certainly tell you that luck does not come into it!

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2929Complain there are too many disabled

people on TVMaybe but not in the right way! While it could be argued that

disability appears in one way or another in most television programmes but the question is whether it is the right kind of representation. Disability is often used in fiction and is often used in an symbolic way to portray a negative viewpoint.

Characters are often 1 dimensional and only exist to prove a point. Things are improving and disabled people are being better represented in programmes such as ‘all about me’ and the best

so far, ‘a thing called me’. But there needs to be more 3D disabled people on TV, not less!

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3030Remember that nappies and bibs are

just for babies, not adults!There are two issues here. Firstly, some disabled children and adults do indeed

use nappies and wear bibs. People who have incontinence may use nappies, people just find them easier than using the toilet due to mobility problems or people just may find them more comfortable. Bibs are used for people who

drool or are messy eaters, like myself! They can vary widely in type, size and style and I know a great supplier! The second issue is language, normals,

especially professional normals, often have a great problem using terms like nappies and bibs in relation to adults and go to take pains to avoid such terms. While some disabled people, often those who have became incontinent in later life, may not like the term nappy, disabled people who have always nappies are likely not to have a problem with the term. The same can be said about the

term bib!

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3131Understand that night clubs are no

places for disabled people

Why not? The way normals come out night clubs incoherent wrecks, why does it matter some disabled people have a head start when they enter the club! Disabled people can drink (like a fish sometimes), can boogie, can stay up to

the early hours, can vomit and can suffer a hangover! They can also find a bra under their pillow and not remember

why!

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3232Complain there are too many disabled

children in mainstream schoolsIn recent years, after a decade where normals felt inclusion of disabled children into mainstream school was a cool idea, there has started to be a revolt, mainly from a very special and bizarre

type of normal, called a teacher. The teacher seems to be a creature who lives in their own world and believe hard work is for others! Now the honeymoon period of inclusion is over and now teachers realise they need to change their systems and structures to be more inclusive to all their pupils, they do not

often seem up for the challenge! Some teachers even actively promote exclusion instead of inclusion, very bizarre normals

indeed!

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3333Criticise airlines for helping disabled

people when its delays the flightWhile normals may think and hope disabled people stay at home all day, many of us do travel a lot in this country and aboard! For

a wheelchair user, the operation of going on a flight can be a stressful and dehumanising experience. While individual staff

can be very helpful, or maybe not in some cases, the majority of airlines have policies on disabled passengers which belong in a

prehistoric museum, they have a very backwards idea of disability compared to other businesses! If an airline did their

jobsproperly, disabled passengers will always be put on first and so no delays, however I admit did does not always happen!

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3434Never let someone with a speech

impairment go onto the radioThis was once told to me by a senior member of the BBC’s equality unit at a launch of a campaign on disabled people and the media organised by Scope. I found her comments

quite remarkable and our conversation became quite heated! It was ironic as I had been on BBC Radio both locally and nationally before and since this incident! If a

programme is presented in the right way, there is no reason at all may people with speech impairments can not go onto the radio and presenters have often commented

on how understandable I have been!

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3535Ask why there are no disabled people at

University

Where have you been? Disabled people have been going to University for at least the last 20 years and that includes

myself! With the inclusion of dyslexia, the number of disabled people at university rose dramatically in the

1990s, along with vast improvements in the accessibility of universities!

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3636Always refer to disabled people as the

Handicapped or InvalidsThese are two more terms that normals enjoy using to the

much pain of disabled people. The term handicapped is particularly hated and it comes from ‘cap in hand’ and

refers to begging. Invalid seems simply means not valid, as a person!

Not all disabled people are totally obsessed and over-sensitive to the language used but it is important and why I do not advocate strict rules, some awareness of what you

are saying is helpful.

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3737Remind disabled people that a

computer is an luxury itemThis was once said to my parents by the Round Table when

they were trying to obtain funding to buy me a computer, one of the essential items in my whole life. This was 1982

and admittedly most Normals had no idea what a computer was, let alone how important they were and has become.Computers have been essential in the liberation of many

disabled people, especially with the internet! Without a computer, I would not be able to do half the stuff I can do

now, including writing this book.

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3838Raise concerns at work to whether a disabled

person can actually compete with others in the work place

I would be lying to say that every disabled person can compete equally with every normal in every job because

some normal needs more help than others! In the right job, Disabled people can perform as equal as anyone else with the right support and assistance. Working from home can

help many disabled people meet their needs without normals getting in the way. Normals may worry about competing with disabled people because it might show

them up, just think about it!

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3939Be proud to say you will never be

disabled yourselfVery sadly for normals, and luckily for disabled people, this is

certainly unlikely to be the case! The reality is unless died prematurely through accident or murder, everyone is likely to become impaired and therefore disabled to some point

in their lives, it is only a matter of time!So when you laugh at disabled people, or think removing

barriers is a complete waste of time, just remember one day, you will probably be in the position, at least you will

not be a normal anymore!

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4040Remember, Disabled people can not do

windsurfingThere are not many things that disabled people cannot do with the

right support and if they really want to and windsurfing is one of them! There are 2 ways for disabled people to do windsurfing. The easy way is an double hull board which is big enough for a wheelchair user and an instructor. The board is very stable and

while you will likely wear a wetsuit and buoyancy aid, it is unlikely you will get wet… very boring indeed. The hard way is one I learnt myself. After trying to stand up on a normal board and failing miserably, I suddenly realised that maybe I could sit on the board and have my legs dangling on the sides. This is certainly more exciting and a lot more wet, certainly more fun!

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4141Always held your meetings upstairs in a

premise without a lift

Cruel and typical of many normal committee meetings. This reminds me of when I went to a course at Aberystwyth

University, I asked where the lift was and they said upstairs, which was perfectly true!

When planning a meeting, think about the access needs of all the participants and make it as inclusive as you can, I

know you may just be a normal, but you can try!

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4242Always assume disabled people will

help you out for freeIn your dreams! But sadly, disabled people have been helping out

normals for years for free! There is now a revolt as disabled people have started smelling the coffee and realise they are

being exploited. After an era of consultations, it seems well-paid normals use consulting disabled people as a free way on getting

help with their job, so they get the promotion, while those who have helped them get nothing! There is now a move within

‘useR involvement’ circles to start paying disabled people for their expertise. Some disabled people like myself have set

themselves up as disability consultants, charging organisations the full rate!

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4343Remember that all disabled people

think the same

Are all normals the same? So why should disabled people be? Disabled people are as diverse as anyone else in any way imaginable. If you ask 100 disabled people what they want or need, you will get 124 different answers! Disabled

people also do not always get on with other disabled people and can have arguments and debates just like

normals!

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4444Argue that more money should be spent on

cures and less on disabled accessThis was the view of the late Christopher Reeves, who sadly

took his personal agenda and used it against disabled people. While most normals saw this Superman figure as a

courageous hero for his desire to walk at all costs, many disabled people including myself felt he had simply not come to terms with his condition. On a purely economic perspective, curing every disabled people in the country,

nearly 10 million of us, will cost normal taxpayers an awful lot more than providing disabled access ever could!

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4545Complain language is not important

and lets call a spade a spadeMany f**king b**tard normals and their b*tches say this

about terms like nigger, ladies and handicapped. Language has been, is and will always remain a very important tool in

defining ourselves and how we interact with each other. The political correctness of the 1980s and 1990s was a

bad attempt by normals to use appropriate language without having to put their brains in gear. Using appropriate language is about using common sense and many normals

have a problem with this!

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4646Understand that if you can’t read, you

can’t use the internetThere has been awareness recently by normals on the accessibility of the internet. This is mainly been related to people with visual impairments but this is only part of the issue. With the right equipment, software, and website

design, the Internet can be accessible to everyone. A new field which I have some input into is making websites

more accessible to people with learning difficulties, helping to design a wide of symbols and pictures to make websites

easier to understand!

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4747Remember that disabled people can not

live on their ownThis statement causes a problem as I have been living on my own for the last 12 years and 10 years in my own flat. While I employ staff to assist me, it is very much by own home and I like it that way! While myself and many other

disabled people like living on our own, others may prefer to live with their parents, with friends or even choose to live in

some kind of residential care because that meet their needs. This is just like normals but they call residential care things like boarding schools, oilrigs and the Army!

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4848Argue that disabled people must realise

they are the underdogs of societyWhere on earth do normals get their stupid ideas from?

Disabled people are equal to normals. Well actually, I could argue disabled people are better than normals and had always believed it must be so boring and difficult being

normal, having to walk straight and talk properly!The sad reality is many normals do believe that disabled people are inferior and this is very much at the core of the

big problem, all I know is the answer is 42!

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4949Complain that disabled people are

economic burdensThis is a classic normal myth which is popularised by national and

local governments. I heard a passionate speech once on this which crystallised the whole craziness of this. Disabled people do not receive cash from the Government and stuff it into mattresses! Money merely

flows through disabled people to other people, they may pay care staff, who buy foods in a supermarket, who pays the wages of their normal

staff, who pays taxes which goes back to disabled people. What normals fail to understand is that if disabled people disappeared

tomorrow, half of the normals left would be out of a job! Disability is big business!

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5050When you do not understand someone with a speech

impairment, just say yes or ignore them.Yeah right! Many normals have tried to ignore me and what I

had to say and always failed miserably! When someone has had a speech impairment all their lives, they

automatically know when someone has heard what they have said and when they are pretending. If someone is

pretending, I may often say stupid things like ‘your house has burnt down!’ until they start listening.Listening to

someone with a speech impairment just requires some patience and please never feel embarrassed to ask them

to repeat themselves because they often more than happy to do so.

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5151Always help a disabled person but

never ask them howThis is exactly like the Boy Scout who helps the old lady

across the road and ends up with being beaten on the head with her handbag, because that was not what she

wanted. Many disabled people appreciate a helping hand from time to time, just like normals, but you cannot assume

they need or what help they want! Getting unhelpful help from poor friendly normals becomes amusing when I go

aboard due to the communication difficulties both ways as I often can not make foreign normals understand I do not

need help.

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5252Remember, if you can not see it, it does

not exist

Normals think that people are only disabled when they can visually see that they are disabled. However, many

disabled people have hidden impairments like epilepsy, diabetes, dyslexia and so on. These often create as many difficulties as for people with very visual impairments. It is therefore important for normals to not make assumptions

about someone’s ability and to be open minded, difficult for some normals I know!

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5353Understand that disabled people always

need looking afterThis all depends what you actually mean by looking after! It

is firstly true to say that many disabled people do not need any assistance at all and can quite happily ‘look after’

themselves without any difficulties. For others, like myself, a range of personal assistance (care for those stupid

normals) is needed and usually means employing staff either directly or through an agency. This however certainly

does not mean I am either being looked after or need looking after, not like many male straight married normals

anyway!

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5454Tell everyone that disabled people can

not driveI personally do not drive out of choice, I do not have the time

or energy with everything else. I however do have a car, which my staff drive. I could drive if I want to, but who

wants to do everything!Many disabled people drive with adaptations to their cars and disabled people are allowed

to start driving at 16, a year before normals, maybe because disabled people make better drivers! There is also

a special rental scheme for disabled people, drivers and passengers, called Motability.

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5555Complain how easy it is being disabled

Oh really? Having impairment is often not the problem but it is the discrimination disabled people face on a daily basis.

Understanding what it is like being disabled is not like spending a day in a wheelchair or going around a building blindfolded, this only has limited benefits. When a normal

spend a day in a wheelchair, they meet new challenges but it is exactly like putting me on a surfboard. People who use wheelchairs everyday do not have problems using a wheelchair in the same way as a normals who go surfing everyday does not have problems using their surfboard.

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5656Make sure you know everything about

your disabled friend’s conditionWhy? In exchange can they ask you your penis size and how often you masturbate? Knowing about your friend’s condition will not help you know your friend any better.

Someone condition is private to them and if they wish to discuss it with you, it is up to them! Normals have always

had an obsession with conditions and while it can be interesting to know stuff, it does not mean it will mean

anything and have anything to do with their friendship with disabled people. If a disabled person has a specific access need, they normally will not hesitate in letting people know.

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5757Never ask a wheelchair user to go for a

walk as it will offend themThe idea of not using the term ‘walk’ to a wheelchair user or

the term ‘see’ to a blind person is complete nonsense. I do not know any disabled people who advocate this kind of

political correctness and is usually created by over-sensitive normals that are totally embarrassed around

disabled people. Words have their literal meaning and a broader meaning. I wrote this book but I have not been anywhere near either pen or paper, as a typed it into my

computers, but I am still a writer!

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5858Always build stairs without handrails

While wheelchair users most often prefer ramps not stairs, unless they have gone crazy, disabled people who can

walk with difficulties are often able to use stairs either with support or these things call handrails!

If I am on my own and I hit stairs or even a few steps which do not have handrails, I can be completely stuck like there is an invisible brick wall. However, I have often been seen going down stairs on my bum! The worst type of stairs on

spiral ones and I have panicked a few times on these stairs!

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5959Remember that ramps should be as

steep as possible

I think this is what they actually believe in Spanish hotels and in places like Romania! I say this because their ramps are as steep as possible a have definitely been designed

by normals!Ramps need to be designed to be used, not just by

wheelchair users but normals with pushchairs and suitcases on wheels. Normals often do not realised that

making the world more accessible helps them too!

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6060Remind disabled people that they are

being punished for the sins of their previous life

I believe it was an ex football normal manager, Glynn Hoddle who famously made this remark and he had to resign

because of this. The question which has to be asked is was he forced to resign because he said this remark in public or because he believed them. The bible, from my

own perspective as an atheist, does not do disabled people any favours and with like everything, provides very

contradictory messages on disability.

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6161Complain that it must be very cheap

being disabled

And what planet do you live on? Being disabled, unless trapped in residential care without any meaningful live, is certainly not cheap to say the least. For many disabled

people there are a whole range of additional costs which needs to be taken into consideration including personal

assistance, specialist equipment, extra heating if you feel the costs, extra washing for a wide of reasons, or so on.

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6262Argue that disabled people can never be equal

It all depends what you mean by equal. Disabled People will never be the same as normals and most disabled people would never want to be the same. However, I believe that fundamentally that disabled people should have the same equality of opportunity to be educated with their peers, to work in a way appropriate to their skills, to participate in

leisure activities, to have personal and sexual relationships, to contribute to society in a meaningful

manner. However, it is up to individual disabled people as to decide if they wish to take up this opportunity and they

have the right not to as well!

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6363Always see the disability, never the

person

This is the opposite to the slogan of the Government campaign of disability called ‘See the person’. I appeared in an advert about the Disability Discrimination Act, in the

national press in October 1999. The campaign made a mild impact but was criticised by many disabled people.

Neither slogan is exactly correct as disability and impairment is often a part of a person and Normals should not just see

the person and ignore who they are in total!

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6464Remember, people who need to wear

helmets all the time are mentally retarded

I certainly do not believe this is the case! While I know many normals probably think this, as a helmet user myself, I

certainly do not have any form of learning difficulty. People use helmets on a full time basis for a number of reasons

including to protect their head when they are having ‘grand mal’ epileptic seizures or if they are prone to falls, like

myself.

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6565Argue everything was better in the

good old days

Normals often have this idealised view of the past and often say everything was so much better in the good old days.

For disabled people, the good old days meant being locked up in residential care homes, having inaccessible buildings,

being educated in special schools, not having communication aids, not having computers or the internet, not having hearing aids, not having any rights, not having advocacy and basically no voice. Do you get the picture

now?

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6666Always use a disabled toilet as a store

room and always keep it lockedYou would be surprised how often I have seen this happen in

places like schools and student unions; cleaners normally use them. In many pubs and restaurants, to my complete annoyance many normal managers feel it necessary to keep their disabled toilets locked while they keep their

toilets for normals unlocked! There reasons for this to stop drug taking or sex, which is charming! My belief is either all

the toilets should be locked or none of them. I wondered how long the policy would last if normals had to ask for the

key every time they wanted a pee.

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6767Remember that buses and trains were

never designed for wheelchair users

While this would have been the case 20 years or just 10 years ago, it is certainly becoming less of the case now. More and more buses and trains are now accessible to

wheelchair users and people with a range of impairments. But public transport needs to be improved a lot to make it more user friendly for normals as well as disabled people.

While the train is ideal for big cities, I still find the car easier for rural places.

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6868Argue that disability is just a minority

issue, so why bother?

While in the past, disability was considered a minority issue, the number of disabled people used in Government

statements have continued to rise from 6.8 million to 8.5 million to now 9.8 millions and this can be seen as an

under-estimate.Therefore disability is increasing and is becoming an issue for normals, who now have to deal with the painful issue of

disability.

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6969Understand that are those who are

disabled and those are not and never shall they meet.

Normals believe that being normal or being disabled is an absolute and you will either be one or another. While it is

true to some extent, this is not always the case and there is a grey area where the boundaries between disabled and

normal is blurred.

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7070Remember that only babies dribble,

adults who dribble are just lazy

As someone who dribbles all the time, I do not agree it have anything to do with being lazy and I am certainly not lazy.

Dribbling has always been a part of my life and something I am comfortable with! I wear a cloth bib all day when I am at

home. I was shocked the first time when I found out normals actually dribble sometimes like when they are

sleeping, I always thought this was my terrority!

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7171Remember, just 2 steps to your front

door is okay

Normals often say this to wheelchair users thinking this will not be a problem and even yep one step is difficult!

Wheelchair Users often do not enjoy being hauled up stairs or steps. As an European youth worker, I have run projects with disabled and normal young people in places in where our motto ‘making the impossible possible’ was very true!

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7272Send a deaf person an audio CD for

Christmas

It is apt that I am writing this one on Boxing Day! This is nasty and will probably end up with a normal’s lights being

punched out! Sending a blind person a normal book will provide the same results… maybe you should swap the

presents around?

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7373Never laugh at a disabled joke

And why not? If you have not been laughing at all the many jokes in this book than I have not done my job properly, have I? Disability can be as funny as anything else and

there will soon be more disability specific comedies on TV, just wait and see!

I am always telling disabled jokes but it is important that disabled people tell their own jokes… Bernard Manning

tells good jokes but he is not the right person to tell them!

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7474Never buy a book on disability

Unless you have borrowed this book from a friend, or from the library, too late! If you have not realised by now or decided to go to the back the book, this book is about

DISABILITY and how normals get it wrong!

If by any chance you have stolen the book, please return it at your earliest convenience!