7

Too Many Fonts Disease

Serif + Sans Serif = True Font Love

Please, limit

yourself to two different fonts on

your website.

Sin #1

Diet of Bad Color Choices

Not Enough or Too Much Contrast

Is the Work of the Devil.

Sin #2Two words: nail, salon. It's perfect for money laundering, it's a high-volume, cash-preferred business with a discreet workforce. Nobody does mista-me-know-nothing better than Mrs. Mukjayaporn and her gals.

Two words: nail, salon. It's perfect for money laundering, it's a high-volume, cash-preferred business with a discreet workforce. does mista-me-Nobodyknow-nothing better than Mrs. Mukjayaporn and her gals.

Decorative Font Overdose

Consuming too many decorative

fonts can cause permanent nausea.

Sin #3Ding, ding ding ding. Ding ding ding ding ding ding. Ding. DING. Ding ding, ding; ding ding ding ding ding ding. Ding. Ding ding

ding ding, ding ding ding.

Chronic Capital Letter Fatigue

Reading Capital Letters for too long

can cause hearing loss.

Sin #4YOU... ARE TROUBLE. I'M SORRY THE KID HERE DOESN'T SEE IT, BUT I SURE AS HELL DO. YOU ARE A TIME BOMB. TICK, TICK, TICKING. AND I HAVE NO INTENTION OF BEING AROUND FOR THE BOOM. WELL... YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE? IT HASN'T.

(Get it? It’s considered yelling.)

You have Comic Sans Cancer

There’s nothing comical about it.

Sin #5Marie, I said Cheetos, not Fritos. I must've said Cheetos like

ten times. You need me to write it down for you? Well, I'm just

saying, y'know, I said Cheetos. Ch-ch-ch sound. Virtually

impossible to confuse Cheetos with Fritos it seems to me.

An Emphasis Epidemic

Only use one. A widespread outbreak is cause

for great concern and may require a vaccine.

Sin #6Don Eladio, please. I didn't sell anything. I apologize if you are offended by my method of obtaining this meeting. I merely took the initiative. I meant no insult.

Microfont Dysfunction

Make sure your font size is at least 10px. The only cure for microfont is enlargement.

Sin #7Goodbye, Walter. I don't owe you a damn thing. All of this -- falling apart like this -- is on YOU. We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Fring. We had a lab. We had everything we needed and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect. But no! You just had to blow it up. YOU! And your pride and your ego. You just had to be the man. If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now.

Font

Surgeon

General

BFF

An Important message from the

Font Surgeon General and his BFF:

We hope that you recognize

the serious nature of these

deadly sins. A diet of standard

web safe fonts should be

strictly adhered to.

Neglecting to follow our

prescription, your website

will look schizophrenic.

Don’t let this happen to your

website. Please take action

immediately to avoid committing

one of these deadly sins.

Fontly Yours,Thomas Typographer

Font Surgeon General

Gracias.

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Alycia Wicker