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5 Differences Between a TRUE VICTIM & FALSE VICTIM ofNarcissistic Abuse

After Narcissistic Abuse Focus on What Feels RIGHT to YOU

6 Types of Emotional Abuse by Narcissistic ParentsNov 2

Posted by ANA - After Narcissistic Abuse

ChildAbuseImageWithHand1

*1. REJECTING *Narcissistic Parents or caregivers who display rejecting behavior towarda child will often [purposefully or unconsciously] let a child know, ina variety of ways, that he or she is unwanted. Putting down a childsworth or belittling their needs is one form these types of emotional

abuse may take. Other examples can include telling a child to leave orworse, to get out of your face, calling him names or telling the childthat he is worthless, making a child the family scapegoat or blaming himfor family/sibling problems. Refusing to talk to or holding a youngchild as he or she grows can also be considered abuse.o constant criticismo name-callingo telling child he/she is uglyo yelling or swearing at the childo frequent belittling and use of labels such as stupid or idioto constant demeaning jokeso verbal humiliationo constant teasing about childs body type and/or weighto expressing regret the child wasnt born the opposite sexo refusing hugs and loving gestureso physical abandonmento excluding child from family activitieso treating an adolescent like he is a childo expelling the child from the family* not allowing a child to make his own reasonable choices*2. IGNORING *Adults who have had few of their emotional needs met are often unable torespond to the needs of their children. They may not show attachment tothe child or provide positive nurturing. They may show no interest inthe child, or withhold affection or even fail to recognize the childspresence. Many times the parent is physically there but emotionallyunavailable. Failing to respond to or interact with your child,consistently, constitutes emotional and psychological abuse.o no response to infants spontaneous social behaviorso failure to pay attention to significant events in childs lifeo lack of attention to schooling, peers, etc.o refusing to discuss your childs activities and interestso planning activities/vacations without including your childo not accepting the child as an offspringo denying required health care

o denying required dental careo failure to engage child in day to day activities* failure to protect child*3. TERRORIZING*Parents who use threats, yelling and cursing are doing seriouspsychological damage to their children. Singling out one child tocriticize and punish or ridiculing her for displaying normal emotions isabusive. Threatening a child with harsh words, physical harm,abandonment or in extreme cases death is unacceptable. Even in jest,causing a child to be terrified by the use of threats and/orintimidating behavior is some of the worst emotional abuse. Thisincludes witnessing, hearing or knowing that violence is taking place inthe home.o excessive teasingo yelling, cursing and scaringo unpredictable and extreme responses to a childs behavioro extreme verbal threatso raging, alternating with periods of warmtho threatening abandonmento berating family members in front of or in ear range of a childo threatening to destroy a favorite objecto threatening to harm a beloved peto forcing child to watch inhumane actso inconsistent demands on the childo displaying inconsistent emotionso changing the rules of the gameo threatening that the child is adopted or doesnt belongo ridiculing a child in publico threatening to reveal intensely embarrassing traits to peers* threatening to kick an adolescent out of the house*FACT:** Children and youth who witness family violence experience allsix types of emotional abuse.**4. Isolating*A parent who abuses a child through isolation may not allow the child toengage in appropriate activities with his or her peers; may keep a babyin his or her room, not exposed to stimulation or may prevent teenagers

from participating in extracurricular activities. Requiring a child tostay in his or her room from the time school lets out until the nextmorning, restricting eating, or forcing a child to isolation orseclusion by keeping her away from family and friends can be destructiveand considered emotional abuse depending on the circumstances and severity.o leaving a child unattended for long periodso keeping a child away from familyo not allowing a child to have friendso not permitting a child to interact with other childreno rewarding a child for withdrawing from social contacto ensuring that a child looks and acts differently than peerso isolating a child from peers or social groupso insisting on excessive studying and/or choreso preventing a child from participating in activities outside the home* punishing a child for engaging in normal social experiences*5. Corrupting*Parents who corrupt may permit children to use drugs or alcohol, watchcruel behavior toward animals, watch or look at inappropriate sexualcontent or to witness or participate in criminal activities such asstealing, assault, prostitution, gambling, etc.Encouraging an underage child to do things that are illegal or harmfulis abusive and should be reported.o rewarding child for bullying and/or harassing behavioro teaching racism and ethnic biases or bigotryo encouraging violence in sporting activitieso inappropriate reinforcement of sexual activityo rewarding a child for lying and stealingo rewarding a child for substance abuse or sexual activityo supplying child with drugs, alcohol and other illegal substances* promoting illegal activities such as selling drugs*6. Exploiting*Exploitation can be considered manipulation or forced activity withoutregard for a childs need for development. For instance, repeatedlyasking an eight-year-old to be responsible for the familys dinner isinappropriate. Giving a child responsibilities that are far greater thana child of that age can handle or using a child for profit is abusive.o infants and young children expected not to cry

o anger when infant fails to meet a developmental stageo a child expected to be caregiver to the parento a child expected to take care of younger siblingso blaming a child for misbehavior of siblingso unreasonable responsibilities around the houseo expecting a child to support family financiallyo encouraging participation in pornography* sexually abusing child or youthCredit to teach through love. comhttp://www.teach-through-love.com/types-of-emotional-abuse.htmlOthers should know* Twitter136

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**Like this:Like Loading...Narcissistic Family Dynamics - Playing The Hand We re Dealt

Narcissistic Family Dynamics - Playing The Hand We re Dealt

Hindsight is an amazing tool for survivors. When you grow up with anarcissistic parent, there are realities about our environment thatdon t exist in a non-narcissistic household. These realities are ourhealing points, our own issues, that as an adult we realize requirehealing for us to go onIn "Narcissism"

Malicious Prosecution- Narcissists & Their Enablers

Filing lawsuits, injunctions and restraining orders against the victimof a narcissist for whatever perverse satisfaction they get out of thelies, is malicious and predatory behavior, it is extreme, outrageousconduct beyond the bounds a decent society can tolerate specificallyintending to cause harm to the target. The intolerableIn "Narcissism"Broadening the perspective of Narcissistic abuse by including it rightalongside every other abuse. Lets call it what it is Emotional andPsychological abuse that can occur in any life situation be it romantic,friendship, family, work, etc. Lets also include and define it in termsthat are recognizable to personal relationships OR Domestic Violence. Soa little insight into how this perpetrator abuses!

Broadening the perspective of Narcissistic abuse by including itright alongside every other abuse. Lets call it what it isEmotional and Psychological abuse that can occur in any lifesituation be it romantic, friendship, family, work, etc. Letsalso include and define it in terms that are recognizable topersonal relationships OR Domestic Violence. So a little insightinto how this perpetrator abuses!

What makes this abuse so damaging is that emotional/psychological abusedoesnt stop the day you walk away from an emotionally abusive partner,loved one, friend, career or any relationship. Unfortunately, it willprobably continue to affect you long after your abusive partner,relationship, or whatever connection is gone and REMAIN

In "Narcissism"Posted on November 2, 2013, in Narcissism.Bookmark the permalink.81 Comments. 5 Differences Between a TRUE VICTIM & FALSE VICTIM ofNarcissistic Abuse

After Narcissistic Abuse Focus on What Feels RIGHT to YOU

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1.Melanie | September 13, 2015 at 4:10 AM

I am 49 and cannot bear the thought of dealing withmy narcissistic mother. I am tired of being abused in every way,except sexually, and I will never be a match for her. I give up andI dont even care if she will be able to cash in my life insurancepolicy that she took out on me when I was born!! Hopefully my bodywont ever surface, so that will make it harder to fight with theinsurance company. She is pure evil, and doesnt suffer in any way.

I donderstand why she gets to inflict so much pain on fwithout anyrepercussions ?!?! I know she will play the victim and martyr whenits discovered what Ive done, but I have already tried toret tellmy brother and my Godmother about how she secLikeLikeReply

*Anonymous | September 14, 2015 at 1:08 PM

I truly hope having just read your comment you havent let her win!LikeLikeReply

*LB | September 14, 2015 at 1:10 PM

Having just read your comment, I truly hope you havent let her win!LikeLikeReply

*Janet Woodbeck Witt |September 14, 2015 at 2:18 PM

Are you alright Melanie? I know how you feel.If you need someoneto talk to leave a reply here and then I will give you my emailLike

LikeReply

*Lorna Walsh |September 14, 2015 at 5:58 PM

Hi Melanie, my mum is a narcissist too. I am 47 and Im doingreally well now, but, I wont lie, it took some time and it waspainful, but no more than what I was going through anyway; thedifference was I was working my way out so it was worth it. Iwas living independently when I had an argument with my mum andhad no contact for 11 years, the last 5 has been limited andvery superficial. I had a lot of good therapy, did things thatinterested me like classes at the local adult education centre(eg pottery, jewellery making, theres loads of stuff) I thinkgetting in touch with your creative side is important. I havealso been working on my education as I couldnt learn at school.I did a self esteem workshop and learned along the way to droppeople from my life who werent good for me. I am now a memberof a couple of support groups on facebook and watch youtubevideos for help. Ive started a Mindfulness course which ismeant to be very helpful to ACoNP and it does seem to be goodfor me. You say you will never be a match for her, Im not sureexactly what you mean by that. I suspect you have no idea ofyour value or that there are so many people who understand whatyou have been going through and want to be there for you. Youcan heal from narcissistic abuse and go on to live a happy lifeloving yourself the way you deserve to be loved. NarcissistSupport on facebook and youtube is a good place to start, I hopeto see you there. All my best wishes, Lorna :) xhttps://youtu.be/ak1JVR_Bv3ALikeLikeReply

*Cammie | September 15, 2015 at 5:15 AM

You are so loved, Dont let her win! Live!!!!!!Like

LikeReply

*Anonymous | September 18, 2015 at 4:20 PM

Call Lifeline.Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)Website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.orgLikeLikeReply

2.Jamie | August 21, 2015 at 1:52 AM

Story of my lifeLikeLikeReply

3.Anonymous | August 4, 2015 at 4:40 PM

My mother too. She emotionally and psychologically killed Dad. Hedied at 64. She is still alive at 86. Why? Filled with selfrighteous judgements towards me and turns siblings against me. Theyare hanging in for the will and hate me too but I have mr own hardearned money so dont need their abuse.LikeLike

Reply

4.Angelina Vilchez | August 3, 2015 at 12:31 PM

I am 47 yrs old and unfortunatly live with my parents at the time,Ihave been back home since April of 1995 and never planned to be backhere this long,I was in my 4th month of Cosmetology school,(My dreamcareer) Thats all it seems to be anymore is a dream,I have taken myState boards 5xs and to this day have not passed,I gave up for along time now,Plus was told I hve to take everything I passed overagain, I was Diagnosed w/ Tempol Lobe Epilepsy at age 16 due toconstant High fevers as a newborn and almost death after spendingthe 1st 2 months of my life in the Hospital and almost didn t. comehome. My mother has been a RN since 1978 and had an addiction in the80s and lost her nursing lincense due to it for 3 yrs,She nevergives me any support and always thinks that I am just starved forattention, My mother also fratured her spine in 2004 and now sleeps24/7 and misses Apts, She swirves a lot and gets upset if anythingis said to her about anything,She now wonders why I dont help herw/things around the home and wont see why,I havent driven sinceJune of 2014 due to income for Insurance.I am on my 5th try forDisability and she will not help me try for it one bit,She hashers,Thats all that matters to her.She woke up late for an apt,that was 45 minutes from our home and only had 15 mins to get thereand was swirving and ran red lights and was flipping people off,Sheneeds some serious help.No one in my family notices and all she cando is walk around the house swearin!LikeLikeReply

5.Lesley | June 30, 2015 at 8:01 PM

Theres another one Engulfing which some narcissistic parents do,especially mothersLikeLikeReply

6.Taylor | June 29, 2015 at 8:59 AM

Becoming an adult, having my own children, and moving away from myfamily has been extremely revealing. Unfortunately, I believed thatBOTH of my narcissistic, abusive parents were normal for a very longtime. Despite my friends and other adults telling me that theirbehavior was unacceptable, I truly believed they were just betterand more honest than other parents. It wasnt until I noticed myselfbecoming extremely stressed and angry at normal responsibilities ofadulthood that I realized something about my upbringing was wrong.Ive always been told that Im just like my abusive alcoholicfather. Ive always been told that Im ungrateful and cold hearted.I will never accept that kind of treatment again.Guys, if you feel in your heart that something is wrong, it probablyis. Hold on to the small but strong inner-child and stand up foryourself and your children. Do not accept narcissistic or abusivebehavior as normal. Get yourself out and get yourself some help.LikeLikeReply

7.disenchanteddiva |June 22, 2015 at 1:19 PM

Reblogged this on Diary of a Disenchanted Diva.LikeLikeReply

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o Broadening the perspective of Narcissistic abuse by including itright alongside every other abuse. Lets call it what it isEmotional and Psychological abuse that can occur in any lifesituation be it romantic, friendship, family, work, etc. Letsalso include and define it in terms that are recognizable topersonal relationships OR Domestic Violence. So a little insightinto how this perpetrator abuses!

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