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5 Ways to Having Better Behaved Children
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Transcript of 5 Ways to Having Better Behaved Children
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WT Maidstone
5 Ways
To Having Better Behaved Children
Who Achieve Academically, Get
Fitter, Build Confidence & Become
More Popular!
0800 0937 824www.wtmaidstone.com
Si-Fu Lee JacobsInternational Trainer & Life Coach
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As a parent, time is not a luxury you can readily
afford. So, I’m going to get straightto the point – to
giving you my invaluable advice, which could
drastically transform your child’s quality of life: at
Every child is different – but in my many years of working with young people, I have discovered one
thing their parents all have in common: a desire to
improve their child’s self-confidence and, as a
Simply because you are reading this guide right
now, it’s clear that there is something you would
like to change…
Is your child not fulfilling their true potential inschool? Are they hard to control or relate to at
home?
This can be turned around right now – and your
In this guide, I will tell you exactly how it can be
done.
Every parent believes their child could performbetter at school. Few realise, however, that this
performance has far less to do with their child’s
“intelligence”–andfarmoretodowiththeirability
Do you find that your child is easily distracted from
their home work by noises from outside or by the
T.V.? Do they drift into a daydream as soon as they
open their books? Do they interrupt their work to
get food, or go to the bathroom? Are they
This difficulty in concentrating can seriously affect
their grades, which can have a disastrous knock-on
effect on their self-confidence. You may have even
beentoldtheyhavelearningdifficulties
“5 Ways To Having Better Behaved Children Who Achieve
Academically, Get Fitter, Build Confidence & Become More Popular!”
Would You Like To Improve Your
Child’s Academic Results?
0800 0937824www.wtmaidstone.com
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Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., a child psychologist and clinical instructor at the
University of Utah School Of Medicine, has conducted research which
suggests a child’s naturally active nature can make concentration over
extended periods of time difficult for them. He states that some
children who are consistently hyperactive should be evaluated by a
mental health professional for possible Attention Deficit Disorder.
In my experience, however, a child’s inability to
focus is very oftencaused by boredom, and the lack
LaterinthisguideIwillshowyouawayyoucanhelp
your child overcome these focus andconcentration
problems and help them improve their grades,
confidenceandbehaviourasaresult.
Is Your Childs health a concern for you?
Despitetheirendlesssupplyofenergy,doyouoften
find it difficult to persuade your child to simply go
outsideandplay–to“letoffsteam”?Ifso,thenwhat
Iamabouttotellyou,youmayfinddisturbing:
Research by Dr. Richard Saphir, a paediatrician and
a member of the editorial advisory board at Childmagazine, reveals that in the last 30 years the
amount of overweight children between the ages
of6and11hasdoubled.Evenmorealarmingisthat
the amount of overweight children in the 12 to 17
yearagegrouphastripledoverthesameperiod.
This is having an alarming effect on our children’s
health. Type 2 Diabetes, and even high bloodpressure – diseases long associated with adults –
are becoming far more commonplace among
Would your child rather sit in front of a computer
game than go outside and play? Do they complain
thatthey’re tired after justa few minutes ofphysical
activity? Does their diet consist of fizzy drinks,
Living the life of a “couch potato” puts your child at
an increased risk of major health hazards, including
Experts have predicted that if we do not deal with
the current culture of inactivity and unhealthylifestyles, we run the risk, for the first time ever, of
producing a generation with a shorter life
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Imagine your child living a shorter life than you.
The implications are frightening – that your
children may encounter serious ill-health at a
younger age, that they may not get to fully enjoy
Even in the short term, an unhealthy lifestyle can
dramatically increase the pressures your child has
todealwith.Theyarelikelytobeteasedandbullied
for their weight. They will not be able to join in
physical activities with their friends, leading toisolation and low self-esteem. And because they
are lonely, and experiencing feelings of sadness,
embarrassment, and even anger, they are likely to
In the short term there are many challenges your
childrenwillhavetogothroughaswell.
This can create a vicious cycle, which can lead to
Getting fit, active and healthy doesn’t have to be a
time consuming chore though. In this guide, I will
showyouhowyourchildcanturntheirlifestyle,and
Is Your Child Mixing With The Wrong Crowd?
Judith Eagle of Junior magazine asks, “Should you
be trying to influence—or even control— your
Of course you want to ensure that your child has a
“suitable” circle of friends, who can exert a positive
influence on him or her. But trying to “control”
whom they see is more likely to do more harm than
good, and lead to feelings of rebellion and
bitterness. What you need to do is give them a
“gentlenudge”intherightdirection.
Dr Linda Bolton, a clinical psychologist and mother of two small
boys tells us that, “Young children need to learn social skills,
negotiation and diplomacy and if you block this from happening
it could affect their ability to relate to people later on.”
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The best way to achieve this is to ensure your child
develops self-confidence and self-esteem.
However, for many children between the ages of 4
and12,thesequalitiesaredifficulttonurture.
A child with low self-esteem and little confidence ismore likely to succumb to peer pressure, to fall in
with the “wrong crowd”, to experiment with drugs,
sex and gangs, and to rebel against authority.That
lack of confidence, combined with all these
negative influences, only makes it harder for them
Inordertoavoidthesepitfalls,itisnecessarytoinstil
In this guide I will demonstrate how to give your
child self-confidence and self-esteem so strong,
Maybe Your Child Isn’t Doing Any Of Thesehings … YET!
Drugs. Alcohol.Sex. Gangs.These areserious things
to be talking about. And your reaction, like many
other parents, may well be to feel thatthese are not
This is a natural reaction. We all want to feel as
though we’ve raised our children well and taught
themtoavoidthesedangers.
Sadly, we are not the only influences on our
children’s lives. T.V., friends, the Internet – your
child is open to influence from all sides, and in
today’s fast paced life, there simply isn’t always
Askyourselfagain,whyyourequestedthisguide?
Have you seen another child fall under these
influences? Are you concerned about the company
your child is keeping? Or is it simply that you want
Whatever the reason, I can show you just how toequip your child to confront these dangers head on
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In the pages to come, I am going to reveal to you
the5WaysToHavingBetterBehavedChildrenWho
Achieve Academically, Get Fitter, Build Confidence
&BecomeMorePopular!
The Root Cause Of All Your Child’s
All of the dangers I’ve outlined above: poor health,
low self-esteem, dangerous company, drugs… all
Sometimes, of course, this is down to a medical,
psychological or chemical disorder, that requires
But very often the cause is much much simpler: the
lackofapositiverollmodel.
Dr Greene, author of many books on child
developmentandYahoo!’sPediatricExpert
says “One of the most powerful ways that children
IMPORTANT FACT: In a study appearing in the
January 2002 issue of the Archives of Paediatrics
and Adolescent Medicine it was suggested that
children who report having role models get higher
academicresultsandhavegreaterself-esteemthan
Butit’snotthatstraightforward:
Of the children surveyed, only half said they had a
positive roll model in their life – someone they
couldaspiretobelike.
Whilst most children who felt they had a roll model
identified one of their parents as being the major
positive influence on them, almost as many listed
their favourite musicians, actors, sports stars, and
even cartoon characters as their roll models! This
should be seen as a serious problem, as we’ll see
Here’sThePowerfulSolutionYouShouldConsider
There are many solutions available to help parentsdeal with the day-to-day hazards of raising a child.
Some have proven to be more effective than
others, and in the next few pages, I am going to
share with you the technique which I have found to
have the most positive effect on youngsters
betweentheagesof4and12.
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This single solution can have a massive effect on
your child’s physical well-being, mental focus,
schoolwork, and home life. It can give them the
power to make positive decisions in many areas of
Thissolutionissoeffective,thatwhenparentsseeit
transform their child’s life, they very often join in
themselves! I have seen this solution bring
This little known and almost secret solution is
Now,beforeyoulaugh,thisisnotaboutJackieChan
ortheKarateKid!Thisisnotawaytopunchandkick
yourwayoutoftrouble.
The Martial Arts are far more than a series
In their simplest form, Martial Arts can show your
child an example of how to behave that they can
One of the first things Martial Arts teaches us, ishow to be civilized towards one another. That
“please”, “thank you”, “hello” and “goodbye” are
morethanjustwords,andthatusingthemraisesus
Martial Arts shows a child an example of how to
behave towards others – and rewards them for
Growing up isn’t easy, and children – all children –
welcome any example of how to behave. Through
MartialArts,Icangivethemthatexample.
You know what frustrates me most about what I
see in our society today?
It’s the overwhelming influence of celebrity on our
children’s lives.Children no longerwant to grow up
to be just like their parents – they’d rather be like
Eminem, Brittany Spears, or 50 Cent. They believe
that by following these stereotypes – by “fitting in”
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But this belief can be changed. Children will act
according to the support they receive from those
aroundthem.
InourMartialArtsSchool,wemayonlyseeachildfor
a couple of hours a week. But they experience theygain in that short time is carried within the child,
giving them the power to emulate that good
Through constantly reminding a child how to
behave, and through rewarding them when they
get it right, we can quickly reverse their bad habits,
Martial Arts actively promotes good behaviour –it’s that simple!
In most areas of your child’s life, and at most of the
institutions they will attend, the line is drawn at
correcting bad behaviour. By its very nature, this
means that bad habits form, and bad influences
To promote good behaviour in a child, you mustshow them an example, and reward every effort
they make to copy it – even if they don’t always get
That principle – of constantly demonstrating and
rewarding good behaviour – is how we can change,
But here’s the critical point. Simply teaching a child
a Martial Art will not lead to the dramatic changes I
know arepossible.Havingthecorrect ethos behind
1: It’s What You Get To Become that’s important.
Breaking boards, throwing punches, and learning
selfdefence are only the superficial benefits of
learningaMartialArt.Therealbenefityourchildwill
experienceisin,withoutevenrealisingit,whatthey
As a Martial Artsstudent,yourchild willbecomethe
very person others look to for inspiration – a roll
model! They will become a self confidentphysically
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health-conscious child who shows respect to
othersand to themselves .They will learn to act. This
is not something you will find your child being
taught in school – and that is a large part of the
reasonwhyourchildrenarefacingtheseissues.
Can these Behavioural Improvements
Happen At All Martial Arts clubs or
Unfortunately not, because many instructors focus
on the physical and competitive elements of
Martial Arts. Whilst these can be beneficial, sadly
noteverygreatandsuccessfulathletelivesthekindof life you would want your child to emulate.
Simple physical prowess is not enough. It ignores
one of the most essential ingredients of what
That is to say: how they behave.
In my Martial Arts School, the emphasis is put
firmly on your child’s personal achievements –
how they behave towards one another, and how
What number of positive activities is your child
THE TRUTH: Possibly very few.
In today’s competitive environment, too much
emphasisisputoncomingfirst.Achildwhoisnot
the fastest, strongest or most successful is
considered a loser. And it’s no different in the
classroom – if you’re not sitting at the front of the
In my academy I have created a safe and rewarding
environment, where your child will feel motivated
toparticipateinactivities,andcomplywiththerules
we set. In return, they are made to feel positive
about each and every achievement they make. This
positive mindset can create a habitual behaviour in
Here’s another little secret…every child thrives on
attention. And if they can’t get attention for doing
things right, they soon learn they can get it for
How many times have you seen a toddler have a
“tantrum”, and the parent explain that they’re “just
afterattention”?
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At my School, the solution is simple. We show your
child a positive example, and then give them a safe
activity and structure, where they can easily
In a moment, I’m going to tell you how your childcan experience —but first, check out our way
number 2! this—absolutely
FREE
2: Improving your Child’s Behaviour… will
improveTheirPerformance
I want to show you that Martial Arts can be as good
foryourchild’smindasitisfortheirbody.
How? I’ll tell you…
In order to learn, your child must learn to listen.
Focus and concentration are the key ingredients for
By developing that focus and concentration – bylearninghowtolearn–youchildwilldevelopaskill
which can beapplied inall aspects oftheir life.
But unlocking the potential in your child requires
discipline. The discipline to focus their efforts and
increasetheirconcentration.
Studying Martial Arts will encourage your child to
strive for success – to focus them and to apply their
concentration. And as their self-esteem grows with
Here’s what I would like you to understand…
Children don’t go to school hoping to fail. But
despite their best efforts, without the proper skill
set – the right building blocks - success becomes
unattainable, and before long your child willbecomede-motivatedanddemoralised.
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You wouldn’t tell your child to jump into a
swimming pool without first giving them the skills
theyneeded–theabilitytoswim.Wetakethesame
path at my School, by encouraging your child to
advance in easily achievable stages. Crucially: Any
And to ensure that this reward and motivation is
carrying through to their academic performance,
we even request to see your child’s school report.
We don’t want to pass judgement on the grades
they attain, but we do want to show your child that
That’s a very simple way of encouraging a higher
Andwhetheryourchild’sreportisfullofA’sorfullof
C’s, we will take every positive comment on that
Guess what will happen?
Your child will strive harder and harder to achieve
more and more. Between Instructor, Parent and
Teacher, we can form a triangle of support and
motivation that will give your child a “safety
Your child then realizes that all three of these
important people in his life are there to assist him
and celebrate and reward any degree of accomplishmentorvictoryhehas.
y developing this network of support for your
child, we can encourage them to fulfil their true
potential – personally, socially and academically.
B
This is how together we help your child get great
academic results! The best way to teach children
To many, repetition means monotony – boredom.
But, in my many years working with children and
young people, I have realised that carefully
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If you want to get good at something, you have to do it
over and over again. Want to learn to ride a bike? Get
on it, fall off it, and get back on it again. The results may
not be what you were hoping for the first time you try,
but by simple repetition, by trying it over and over again,
At my Martial Arts Academy, we use repetition as a tool
to train. By doing the same thing over and over, we
show your child the constantly improving results from
They soon realise that this skill applies to all areas of their life. Want to get good at your sidekick? Keep side
kicking until it’s perfect. Want to get good at addition?
Keep adding until you don’t even have to think about it.
Repetition can make any skill “second nature”. This is
just one element that your child can take straight out of
Is your Martial Arts academy or club
Interested In Helping your Children Get
Betterresults…here’showtotell?
This is very easy. Simply ask the instructor what goals
Beware of anacademy/club that sets too muchstore in
winning tournaments, displaying trophies; or which
clearly favours the students with the greatest natural
athleticism. Let these be warning signs that their goal is
Letmebeclear– this isnot what Martial Arts isabout.
I’m not interested in whether your child can learn to
Focusing purely on the physical element means that as
soon as a child fails to perform physically, they are
discounted – relegated to the back of the class. It also
fails to develop your childonan emotional or intellectual
What makes my School different is this one, simple
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Your child doesn’t have to the best; theybe
If you want to stay physically fit, you go to a gym and
workout – but you don’t need towork yourself todeath 7
nights a week. You go, you do your best, and you come
away fitter, healthier and feeling better about yourself.
Many Martial Arts academies/clubs demand perfection
in order for your child to proceed. Let me explain it
another way. Unless your child does things exactly right
in a certain and specific way they don’t move up to the
That’s ridiculous.
If a school demanded perfect marks for a child to
proceed from one year to the next, I certainly wouldn’t
Perfection is rarely, if ever, attainable. What we
“demand” is that your child does their very best – isn’t
that asnear to perfectionasanyone can ask?
Yet so many academies still demand this constant
drive for physical perfection – whilst overlooking the
In a few pages, I’m going to explain how you can check
all of this out—absolutely FREE— but first you should
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3: Creating Good Habits will give
your child greater physical
Any parent would want their child to be physically fit
The question is, how do we measure this, and what is it
We’re not all looking for our child to be an Adonis at the
poolside– but for them to behealthy, fit, and “well”.
Physical fitness is just one part of a healthy lifestyle, and
this healthy lifestyle is the result of getting your child into
Returning to the question, there is far more we can
achieve for your child by encouraging them towards a
Howabout the way a child looks?
As I mentioned earlier, obesity (defined as being 20%
or more above the optimum weight for your height and
age), is an all too immediate problem these days – and
with today’s tendency towards fast food and lack of
But I have found that by rewarding a child’s efforts in a
physical activity, they are encouraged to maintain a
healthier, more active lifestyle – even on into
adulthood.
CONSIDER THIS: Children like adults continue to doactions based on the attention they get …by helping
children understand that doing positive actions get
positive responses and negative actions get ignored,
Why do children get so hooked on computer games?
The answer is simple – because they offer instant
gratification, and instant reward for success. I know
more than one child who is far keener to tell me whatlevel they’ve achieved on the latest computer game,
Imagine the potential if we could create the same
excitement and feeling of achievement within a
Guess what? We can!
And that’s exactly how we encourage your child to
continue on that path towards physical that s fitness,
And that’s what every parent wants, right?
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Sleep is a key to health and fitness.
Ask any child whether they enjoy going to bed on
time and you’re virtually guaranteed to get a
resounding “NO”!!! Why is this? Well, perhaps it’s
because children are made to feel that they’rebeing sent to bed because they’re not old enough
to stay up; because they’re not supposed to watch
What if your child knew that the best reason for
going to bed is that that’s where our bodies do
most of their growing? Getting biggerandstronger
And what if every parent could educate their child
thatgoingtobedisnotapunishmentorexclusion–
it’s a reward to your body for a good day’s work!!
Perhaps if your child realised all this – that they
could go to sleep, and achieve all this while they’re
Okay, some can some can’t.
Some children are naturally born with a physically
active,athleticnature.They’rethekindofchildwho
can pick up any sport “just like that”. They may be a
soccer ace, a budding golfer, or a Martial Arts whiz.The bad news is that most of us simply aren’t born
like that! Most of us have to work hard to achieve
strength, coordination, timing and balance. It can
take weeks, months or even years to reach our true
Butit’snotalldoomandgloom!
Every cloud has its silver lining – and there’s one
heretoo!Simply,Iwantyoutorealisethattimeisall
T h r ou g h t h e r e pe t it i on , a n d p o si t iv e
reinforcement that I have discussed already, we
can, over time, raise your child’s performance.
What’s more, if your child is not naturally
predisposed towards this kind of activity, then
they’re more likely to see improvements in their
performance in a very short space of time – and
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Youcan’thelpbutenhanceyourdegreeofphysical
athleticism and your ability to perform martial arts.
So the key is not to place emphasis on one’s ability
“DoyouhavetobegoodatthephysicalsidetogetthemostOutOfMaritalArts?”
Absolutely not! And it’s largely down to bad Martial
Arts instructors and academies/clubs that many
peoplethinktheyneedtobeabletokickandpunch
before they even enrol. In my experience, only
around 10% of new Martial Arts could be termed
But the remaining 70% - the
vast majority – are average,e v er y da y p e op l e, w i th
T h e p r o b l e m i s t h a t m a n y
academies/clubs only want to accept
t h a t “ t o p ” 1 0 % . T h e y w a n t t o
demonstrate their success by taking the
most physically advanced students, and
winning tournaments and trophies. This
doesn’t show our industry in its true light, and
The problem is that many academies/clubs only
want to accept that “top” 10%. They want to
demonstrate their success by taking the most
physically advanced students, and winning
tournaments and trophies. This doesn’t show our
industry in its true light, and overshadows our real
This is important. Whether your child is physically
gifted or not makes no difference at my School.
My job – my goal – as a professional Martial Arts
Instructor is to provide a safe forum where your
child can learn to fulfil their physical and
emotional potential, and to excel themselves. I
KEY POINT: There should be no one in the class
who is better than anyone else. You cannot
always be better … someone somewhere is
going to be better than you and that defeats
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“What wrong with my child just attending PE at
Well sadly, most schools are not equipped with
expert tuition in specific sports. Their classes are a
“taster” – a one size fits all introduction to a widerange of sports, conducted for fun. Now don’t get
me wrong: there’s nothing wrong with fun (we
positivelyencourageit!!)–butthisisnotthewayto
Martial Arts, when properly instructed, are a
different kind of fun. It’s that addictive kind of fun
that makes you want to back time and again
In the school system, teachers are required to
deliver a set curriculum of activities, regardless of
each child’sability or preference. Thisisn’ttheirfault
– it’s a mass-market situation which could never be
tailored to a specific child’s needs. But you
remember the child who was always last to be
Well that’s exactly what makes my Martial Arts
Based on the physical and emotional maturity of
each student, we can provide them with a specific
level of challenge which they will find stimulating
and rewarding – giving them a sense of
accomplishmentandself-confidence.
It doesn’t matter what level of physical ability,
coordination or agility your child is at. In a safe and
rewarding environment where they’re competing
only against their own performance, they will feel
encouraged to participate whatever their level.
This is the key factor which separates my School
Coming up, I will show you how to take a “test
drive” for yourself without spending any money.
But in the meantime, read about how to improve
4: Confidence Can Only Be Developed!
But, it can be
Confidence is not something academic. Teaching
someone what confidence is will not ensure that
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So if you can’t teach it, how do you “pass it on”?
Simply, you create a safe environment, full of
reward and recognition, which encourages your
child to stretch themselves physically and
emotionally. When they learn that thecantake risks
without risking failure, confidence will naturally
Here’s what confidence is NOT: Confidence is NOT
the absence of fear or nervousness. These senses
are vital in our ability to assess what is safe for us to
do and what is not. Rather, confidence is the ability
to do something DESPITE the fact that it may make
us nervous or even frightened. It is the ability to
The cliché here is “going outside your comfortzone” – and that’s really what we’re encouraging.
Not to do something dangerous or foolish, but to
push your limits, to experiment, and to find out just
But to do any of this, the most important thing is to
In order to achieve this, my School provides a safeenvironment, where your child can take a risk,
overcome a hurdle, without fear of being hurt,
embarrassed or ridiculed. And with each hurdle
Book smart vs. street smart
There is a great difference between “knowing”
something in an academic sense (because you
read about it in a book, or saw it on T.V.), and
Here’s an example:
Every parent explains to their child the danger of
stickingtheirfingerinanelectricalsocket.Ibetyour
parents told you not to do it, and I bet you’ve told
This is book smart. Your parents tried to explain, in
purely intellectual terms, the consequences of a
Naturally, you wanted to please your parents,and
so you said, “Okay mummy, I won’t put anything
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But that type of lesson doesn’t last very long, does
it?Andthenwhathappens?
Eventually curiosity gets the better of you, and you
experiment – you find something to push into the
socket, just to see what really happens. And yougetashock!!
Now, that is street smart, and once learned, it’s not
easily forgotten!!
Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t propose to give
your child shock treatment! But what we do at my
School is provide the environment where children
can experience things in real life and learn those
Giving your child these experiences, in activities
which require a little initial confidence, plants the
seed for that confidence to grow: and that is how a
well structured Martial Arts course serves not only
Andthatisexactlywhatwedo.
“Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t,Either Way, You’re Absolutely Correct.” ~ Henry
Ford
In order to believe you “can”, you first need to
overcome the belief that you “can’t”. And this is
done by building up successful experiences,
When we give your child these experiences in
Martial Arts, they carry over into their everyday life,
When your child walks into a social setting, be it aclassroom, playground, party, they immediately
begin to assess what they can and can’t do. They
compare themselves to the other children –
“Tommy is faster than me”, “Sally is smarter than I
am”, “I’ve got more friends than Billy”. Based on
It’s a simple fact that just like adults, children very
quickly create a “pecking order” within their peer
groups. And here is where the danger lies. Becauseyour child wants to compare positively to those
around them, they will naturally gravitate towards
children who are lower down that pecking order
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Understand your children…
When a child makes a decision, 2 factors are at the
topoftheirlist:
1.howtheyfeelatthatmoment
2. how the outcome of the decision will make them
As your child gains more andmore self-confidence
through our Martial Arts experience, they will
begintomakethosedecisionsdifferently.Theywill
depend less on judging themselves in comparison
to others. And they even gravitate towards those
children higher up that pecking order as they feel
Let me share something with you… I know thereare several great fears that a parent has for their
children such as the danger of violence, premature
sex,drugexperimentation,alcohol,etc.
Let’s look back for a moment at those temptations
in life which children sadly so often give in to –
drugs, gangs, alcohol. It may seem obvious, but it’s
worth saying anyway – children don’t “decide” to
give in to these vices. They don’t sit down, write outtheprosandcons
and make a rational choice. They don’t discuss it
withtheirparentsandallagreeit’stherightthingto
Based on how they feel, especially about
themselves, when they are presented with an
opportunity,theywillsimplydecide,yesorno.
So simply telling your child to say no is never going
to be enough. It’s another “word lesson” that is not
rooted in experience. In order to steer your child
clear of these vices, we need to teach them that
feeling good about themselves is something they
can achieve through success and reward – it
MAJORPOINT: Byshowingyourchildhowtogain
confidence and boost their self-esteem, we can
guide them to make better decisions in all aspects
of their life. As a result of these decisions, they will
naturally gravitate towards likeminded peers who
respect their achievements and want to emulate
It’saveryuniquechildwhocouldwalkintoagroupof their peers whom they perceive as “superior” to
them and introduce themselves. It doesn’t happen
thatquickly.
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But, through my Martial Arts School, we can give your
child the esteem, and confidence to move in that
direction. To stop comparing themselves to others
simply to “validate” themselves. To believe in their own
“Are most academies and clubs good at
More often that not, no. It’s a pass or fail culture, where
success is at one extreme and everything else is
In life, your child will at times encounter these black and
white, pass/fail situations. It is our responsibility to
prepare them to face these challenges when they arise,but also to educate them that success is not an
absolute, and to take their reward in every degree of
Woody Allen said, “98% of success is just showing
up.”
Most academies/clubs have their pass/fail mentality
so deeply engrained that if a child doesn’t reach the top
of the class they feel they’ve failed and lose the desire tocontinue. Our ethos is for every child to feel they have
Naturally you will want this success mentality for your
child – and in just a few moments I will explain how they
can experience it absolutely FREE. But first, let me
5: The Quality Of Your Life Will Get Better
Acceptance is a huge part of how your child will
develop and the friends and peers they will mix with.
However, when we talk about acceptance, we tend to
think in terms of “how will my child be accepted” in a
It’s important to reverse that though process too – “how
will my child express their acceptance of those around
them?”.
Deeply entwined with this is the idea of prejudice – that
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We can’t always see eye to eye with everyone; we can’t
always agree. And there will be some people with whom
we just don’t get along. But those decisions should be
based on our personal experience – NOT on what a
person looks like, talks like, or any sweeping
generalisation. Before we judge them, we should judge
The world around our children does not always work as
perfectly as every parent would wish. In an ideal world,
our children would select friends who could positively
influence them and broaden their horizons. In reality,
If you look at the you people you surround
yourself with … you’ll be surprise they are
very, like you in their view, principles and
In doing this, your child may discount, or never even
meet, a large number of people who could have a
dramatic and positive effect on their lives. At my
Regardless of whom your child shares a class with or
interacts with, they are encouraged to treat everyone
equally, and well. We strive to find the good in
everybody, and to overlook the bad And by motivating
your child to feel better about themselves, we can alsoThat’s not to say of course that bad behaviour is
tolerated, or that a child should accept being bullied or
intimidated. But, as each child begins to increase their
You see, all of these small, step by step improvements
in your child’s life – their health, their
fitness, their emotional and academic development –they learn to view the world in a more positive way, and
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Bullies do not pick on children randomly. In an attempt
to increase their own self-esteem, they will pick on a
smaller, weaker child, or one who has an obvious
“disadvantage” which they canexploit.
They look for someone lower down that pecking order
But how your child interacts with those around themcan
greatly change their quality of life. Social anthropologist
Edward T. Hall claims that as much as 60% of all
communication is non-verbal, and that as little as 7% of
our communication with others comes from the actual
So, the most effective way to communicate with theworld around you is through your body language.
Simply learning how to carry yourself,how to appear
confidant and self aware, can send a massive message
I can walk into a classroom and straight away tell you,
just by observing body language, who is bullied, who
bullies, and who performswell and who doesn’t.
Byteachingchildrenabouttheirbodiesandits
languageyoucangivethemthetoolstheyneed
toletothersknowtheyareconfidentandincharge.
Thismakesthemstrongerinallaspectsoftheirlife.
Children learn language from the influences around
them:from their parents, from T.V., movies and anyone
and everyone they interact with. Unfortunately, in many
cases these influencesare not positive ones.
Language is a very effective tool for communication –
but many children are pressured by their peers into
seeing language as a “code” a way of fitting into a
Slang terms – non-words – are the rituals these
elements of society use to identify themselves. Saying
“hip” instead of “cool” can get you into one “gang” and
alienate you from another. Using slang that went out of
date last year can mark you out as an outsider – as
At my Martial Arts School, we use a carefully defined
and disciplined regime of “verbal etiquette”. This gives
our students a great basis for learning the importance
By commanding the attention of a class simply by the
way I speak to them, by the authority and confidence in
my voice, I can inspire my students to emulate my
example. So many children today want to sound like
their favourite singers, or movie stars – and that’s not a
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As a student, your child will emulate myexample.
How I position myself, how I speak, how I maintain eye
contact and how I graciously shake hands – all of these
elements can be taken into their own lives, and will
Proper Martial Arts training changes everything in
What we have illustrated so far, is a physically fit,
healthy, polite, well-adjusted child who can integrate
into society and carry themselves with confidence and
By enrolling your child at my School, not only can you
achieve this, but you will also show your child just what
Simply by enrolling your child, you are saying to them “Ibelieve you can do this, and I believe you can do it really
It’s not all work on my part though. It’s vital to
understand that the huge advantages I can give your
child through my Martial Arts teachings, are only as
There are 168 hours in a week. At most, I will see your child for just 2 of those. Now, we can accomplish a
great deal in those 2 hours – but if it’s not supported
during the other 166, then your child will not get the full
benefit. It’s up to you to reiterate those lessons, to insist
that your child tries their best in all aspects of their life –
and that they carry the positive outlook and behaviour I
Emphasising the value of the lessons I can teach your child will give you the ability to dramatically increase
their quality of life, and increase the effect that my
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Not all academies/clubs are equal. But they are not at
opposite ends of a spectrum. The content of all
academies/clubs is by its very nature similar – they will
all teach you or your child a martial art. The fundamental
difference then, is not in what they teach, but in howthey teach it. It’s a matter of content, versus context.
How you teach can havea far deeper
Many academies, and the instructors in them, are too
preoccupied by the latest fads and crazes, the newest
form of martial arts, the coolest uniform, and how they
can show off their own prowess. These people are not
leaders. They may claim to be leaders, but in reality
they are simply copying a craze started somewhere
else, which they believe will make them popular until
These are followers, not leaders.
IMPORTANTPOINT: As an instructor, it is not my job to
be my students’ friend. I am not there to entertain or
impress, or to create a casual atmosphere. It is my
responsibility to promote a professional and competent
image which gives my students confidence in my ability
to instruct them toa high standard in a safemanner. It is
my responsibility to be a role model to your child
–someone they can emulate in their search to improve
So, to provide a good martial arts experience that
anyone, a child, an adult, can use to gain a higher
degree of accomplishment, the first thing that you have
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6ideastothinkaboutbeforeenrolling
1 I. s Victory the driving force? If you walk into a life size
trophy cabinet, turn around and walk back out!
Teaching Martial Arts should be about creating a safe
environment in which your child can develop and
extend themselves. Emotional, intellectual andsocial
2 D. o they act with Respect? If an instructor at an
academy speaks badly of others in the area, or is not
polite and respectful to you, then again, this is not the
place to take your child. Martial Arts teaches respect for
ones self and for others. If an instructor cannot
3 A. nd what about those instructors? Do they act out
the lessons they deliver? Do they act in a manner you
would be happy for your child to follow? Are they active
in their wider community? If not, thenkeep looking – but
if they do display all these qualities, then maybe you’ve
4 D. id you look at the Floor?! By the floor, I mean the
whole teaching experience. Does the instructor have
the willing cooperation of his students? Does he
command their attention and compliance? The
instructor’s role is to gain the active attention of every
student on the floor in front of them. If they can’t do this
5 A. re they prepared to Guarantee their work?
Retailers guarantee their goods, builders guarantee
their work, so why shouldn’t a teacher guarantee their
lessons? If you’vewalked into anSchool that is proud of
its reputation and its results, then they’ll have no
6 D. o they charge “per lesson”? This may seem like a
good idea, but what does it really tell you? It tells you
that they probably don’t expect you to stay until the end
of the course. It tells you they aren’t confident in what
they’re doing. You are considering introducing an adult
into your child’s life who can potentially have a huge
effect on them. Make sure you choose a professional –
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The next step…
This is a big decision for you and your child. However,
sometimes we can spend so long weighing up a
The next step is simple. Walk through the doors of my
Martial Arts School. Judge it on how graciously you are
received into my “home” – how comfortable you feel,
and what steps are taken to introduce you to the idea of
This is easy. Just walk in, and ask me what I can do to
help your child. Having read this far, you already know
muchof what I can offer – but let’s talk about it together,
and see what might work best. We understand that
putting that first foot over the boundary can be a little
intimidating – any new experience can be. But trust me
– this will be a decision you don’t regret: a totally
Come on in, and find out more about my programme of Martial Arts for children. This is a programme that has
been developed over two thousand years – but its taken
until now for someone to define it, distil it, and offer it to
In that very first visit, you will feel how we can make a
connection – an open channel between your child,
yourself, and me. But even I can’t make that connection
by fax or email, so it’s up to you to take that first step.
Walk in, meet me, and talk about your concerns, your hopes, and exactly how you would like to see your child
Here’sanofferyoucan’trefuse!
I guess to make this even easier perhaps we need to
removeall risk. So this ismy recommendation.Come in
and take advantage of a no obligation, no cost, private
“Child Success Analysis” with me. We’ll discuss your
child and how we can help you achieve your goals.
Bring this letter along and I shall provide you two
The offer: Risk Free, No Obligation, and Private “Child
Success Analysis.” PLUS 2 Weeks of Lessons on me
with this report PLUS a free uniform if you decide we
can help your child improve all areas of their lives.
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To claim your “Child Success Analysis” and your Two
Weeks of Free Lessons call me right now to schedule a
Don’t delay. Give me a chance to personally help youand your child overcome the challenges that are
keeping him or her from true success in all areas of their
And just one more thing…. If you do decide to enrol on
our programme after your trial then rest assured that
you have a ‘Cast Iron’ guarantee from me personally
that if my programme doesn’t meet your needs and you
haven’t seen a measurable change in your child’s
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