Warning: This will be the strangest course evaluation

you’ve ever completed.

Period.

I’m feeling like Abed from Community today, so here we go. You’re going to be Taken. You must send a life-or-death

tweet describing Dr. Phill’s class to Liam Neeson so he can

rescue you. What is that tweet? (140 characters maximum).

If you’re looking for money, I don’t have any. But what I do have is a very rhetorically situated set of skills.

You’re being held hostage, and the hostage taker asks

“What did you learn this semester?”

He’s got a serious look on his face, and he wants specifics. What do you do? WHAT DO

YOU DO?(yay, aSpeed joke! These are sooo fresh!)

Driving a cab that says “fresh” on the license plate and has dice on the

mirror, Dr. Phill shows up to save you. He shouts “meet me at the safe house specified on your syllabus! The

place we read about last week!” In a world where reading the syllabus

and doing your homework means you’d know where to go, are you saved, or do you need to phone a

friend? And why?

Verbal Kint just walked out of the police station. As the semester

flashes before your eyes…What was your favorite part of

class? What was your least favorite part

of class? What was the part of class that

was so completely in the middle it just existed?

And who was Keyser Soze?

I don’t wanna be Dr. Pink.

As an instructor, what color is Dr. Phill?

(AKA Dr. If This was Reservoir Dogs Phill)

Why? *remember that we learned color theory*

It’s the end of our client based project, and it turns out Bruce

Willis was dead the whole time.If we could go back and re-watch

the movie, what would the revelations of the experience of working through the project lead

us to see/do differently?

I offer you the red pill and the blue pill. No drug jokes, plz. We’re talking

“the good one of the three Matrix films” here.

I say to you, after you take the blue pill, “I didn’t say it’d be easy, Neo. I

only said it would be the truth.”What is “the truth” of this course

and this semester?

Time to go meta. NBC wants to replace 30 Rock with VisRhet: The Next Generation.

Cast someone to play Dr. Phill, and explain:1.Why the casting choice2.What the tone of the show would be (you can compare it to existing programs if you wish)3.What the plot of the pilot episode would be4.Why.

It’s the last episode, Hurley is the new Jacob and apparently Locke

was a big cloud of pepper. Or whatever. Bad Robot sort of dropped the ball on that one.

What’s something you’ll miss about the island…er…class?

Be as specific as you can. If you won’t miss anything, just hum

“Heartless” by Kanye West and wait for the next slide, you h8r.

We’re sitting in a booth, eating onion rings, wishing Meadow could park her car and listening to Journey. The screen just goes black.

Okay, so we’re not actually eating onion rings in New Jersey. To keep the symbolic power of that Sopranos ending, what would you be doing when this class cuts to black for 30 seconds before the credits, and why?