Vol. XXII No. 23

AMERICANGRADUATE SCHOOL OF INTERNATIONAL MANAGEMENT4 Pages March 31,19tt

SAD'// th ey can 't take a joke ... "

How to Get Duvalier to Speak"AV

Without TryingBy Bob "Four-oh" Smith

Does studying interfere withvrwjr n^jalr tSHHing hours'* Do«?S f h*»

library depress you? Are you in the minority of Thunderbirds who do not know how to cheat ? If you are. here are some suggestions.

The first idea requires a pair of eyeglasses and the tiny rearview mirrors bicyclists often wear for safety reasons. With these mirrors attached to your glasses you can easily view the student's test paper behind y>u.' Large pieces of shiny jewelry are also good substitutes for the mirrors You can act as if you arejiervously fidgeting with your earring' or" medallion -whBe actually spying on your neighbor's test.

The fake arm cast trick used in undergraduate school is also suc­ cessful at Thunderbird. In between the traditional names and phrases scribble, the accounting formulas or Chinese characters you might need for the exam. Often, a small

unobtrusive magnifying glass is handy for this tried and true technique ffyou rtn not havp a fake cast, write the answers on your white socks, watch band, or shoelaces.

Besides the obvious methods of seducing the T.A.. writing the answers on the ceiling, or bribing the copier operator, simply wear a Walkman and claim you need the soothing classical sounds to con­ centrate. However, only have the first eight minutes of the tape con­ tain music and the rest of the tape slowK repeal important points for your essays. .,_.,,

Better yet, equip your Walkman as a receiving unit and have your roommate broadcast your class notes from the Control Tower.

Finally, remember if al! else fails, ask your neighbor for help and hope he/she is not a member of the Faculty Senate or knows how to spell the word "ethics".

ByD. M. Flynn.Jr.Moments before deadline. Baby

Doc Jean Claude Duvalier was an­ nounced as the commencement speaker for the May graduation ceremony, edging out a strong field of candidates that include Ferdinand Marcos, Charles .Man- son and President Yons' brother- in-law, Phil, a used car salesman inCarmel. California.

ASLC President On?" P<?t*T« said Duvalier had recently made himself available for speaking tour to help defray moving expenses "He's currently out of his gourdes." Peters said The former President-for-Life, revealed in an exclusive interview with this reporter, hopes to return to power soon. But. he said, he was still waiting for word from Port Au Prince and added, "no noose is good noose

Vons, reached between sets at y tennis court in Paradise Valley. was disappointed with the selec­ tion of Duvalier "Personally. I wish they had chosen my brother- in-law. Phil. He's had international experience buying automobile seat covers in Tijuana." Phil could not be reached for comment by- deadline.

Marcos was unable to attend. Peters told Das Tor. due to a prior

engagement at the Reagan ranch. Social secretaries for the former Filipino leader responded with a proposal, mailed in a plain brown Manila envelope, that Imelda stand in for Ferdie. "They're way off the Marcos on that one." Peters drawled

When asked the honoraruim costs to bring Duvalier. Peters said they amounted to K.ooo and a two hour shopping spree at Goldwaters for the missus. Cur­ rent ASLC estimates put the cost of having Duvalier on campus for the ceremony at "somewhere around $2 million" to be paid for out of next semester's tuition hike to $1,500 per credit hour When Das Tor demanded details. Peters shrugged his shoulders and said. "they've got some expensive stuff at Goldwaters "

The announcement followed widespread rumors sweeping the campus oI a visit from Dr. Ruth Westh«im«r. Dr. Westheimer was to have made a stopover in Glen- dale after it was made known in the national press that there was no sex at Thunderbird. Peters dismissed the possibiity of her visit because, "she looks too much like Robert Blake but doesn't have his legs."

Peters did confirm, however,thM ?^**x Js virttt^llv rM**v.«*«* * "** »«* »«

Thunderbird.Duvalier's secretary, body

guard and all-around thug inform­ ed Das Tor that he would be inter­ viewing students for the position of Public Relations Agent for the former President-for-Life. The previous P. R. Agent died recently in a tragic hunting accident.

Miami Vice Episode to be Filmed on Campus

Don Johnson aad Philip Michael Thorn as of NBC's "Miami Vice" will be on campus in June.

By Nancy DohertyIn a phone conversation last

week, an assistant to Michael Mann, the executive producer of the NBC's Miami Vice, announced that in June. NEC would be filming an episode of Miami Vice al Thunderbird and its branch in Guadalajara."We've come under a lot of fire recently." stated Mann's assistant, "for shoddy scripts. We!!, this episode will mark the show's return to a stronger plot line." The episode will cost roughly SI million to produce.

The script, which is written by a Thunderbird alumna, revolves around a business school in the U.S. whose Mexican branch is ac­ tually a cover for a drug smuggling operation. "Basically, the main story line will be about Sonny Crocket iDon Johnson) and Ricar- do Tubbs' <Philip Michael Thomas.i pursuit of the crooked Dean of the Guadalajara school, who is one of Mexico's biggest co­ caine smugglers. The trail leads them back to this business school in the states. It turns out that a few top students are involved in this smuggling deal along with two business professors, to be played by new journalists Ted Koppel and Dan Rather, in their acting debut," said the NBC source.

"This is going to be an exciting episode The Phoenix band Mister Mister is writing a song just for

this show and we'll audition students in May for walk-on parts We'll also be looking for a woman to play Tubbs' love interest and in­ former." Mann's assistant con tmued. There will be an audition sign-up sheet in the ASLC office next week

The main problem that NBC forsees is the campus "We're go­ ing to have to erect fake fronts for all the buildings. The post office hanger will be repainted pale pink and landscapers will be called in to transform the school into a desert oasis" he explained. In any scenes where one of the parking lots ap­ pear, only students who own a Porsche. Mercedes, BMW, Fer­ rari, Volvo, Saab or registered historic car will be allowed to have their car in the filming. Students appearing in the film can only wear clothes in pastel colors. The men can also wear designer suits by Verri Homo, Versace, Ellis, Ar- mani, or Klein "We can't forget," said the spokesperson, "that Miami Vice is known for being a visually appealing show."

This is just the first in a series of moves President Voris is pursuing to bring move money into the school and to gain national media attention. The Miami Vice episode reportedly will bring in about $250.000, which will be used to upgrade the library.

2—DAS TOR—March 31,1986

POINT AND COUNTERPOINT'Dictator Today, Club Fled Member Tomorrow'

PRO: CON:By Chris Blair

The fact that Baby Doc is coming to give a speech at our campus has the place buzzing with excitement. Frankly, I cant wait. As a graduating student. I'll be proud to tell my p-andchildren that the Babe spoke at the graduation ceremonies at ol Thunderbird. WhatMlMories.

I can already hear the whining and crying by all the bleeding heart liberals on campus about Duvalier's visit. These ACLU-types go on and on about the human rights viola­ tions and the buses driving off cliffs and I don't know what folderol. What they simply don't realize, Qiarley, is the fact that, despite widespread rumors to the contrary. Baby Doc fills a need. I'm talking about the

need tor people to point out the faults of totalitarianism.

Without the Papa Docs. Marcoses and Bothas of this world, what would Manoney have to talk about in his "Unamerican Foreign Policy" classes? These despots are needed so that we don't Have to put unemployable liberals like you Qiarley on the dole. Without the term "widespread human rights violations" would have no meaning and the liberal press would have to go back to photos of dogs, babies and ill-clad women.

Besides, how bad can a mature, fully grown man be if everybody refers to him as Baby Doc? Isn't he like one of the seven dwarfs, only smaller and more infant-like?

By Charley Janxfyce I just don't believe it! Baby Doc? Give me

a break. This guy is small fry if you ask me. We should have gotten the big name MAR- COS. That's right M you're going to go al! the way, you might as well go big. Ten years from now, I guarantee that Marcos will be to the top five on the "Most Evfl Dictator' list not Baby Doc. There will probably be a wax work of him in Madame Tussaud's House of Wax right next to the one of Hitler and Charles Manson.

If we got Marcos for graduation speaker this school would be in the news for weeks. We could charge for admission and sell souvenirs. The fashion magazines will be here wanting to know what kind of shoes Im-

elda will be wearing. If this woman can spend $10,000 in a week, just think of tte revenue for the local stores here. I bet Hair, a deal could be made between AGSIM and Goldwaters or the Biltmore shops tor m- ciusive rights to Imelda Maybe President Voris should tell Marcos that to America tte speaker HAS to pay the school in order to speak and not the other way around. That'll be good for a few thousand. We'll tell him that we're going to name a classroom after Mm (The Ferdte Room).

Anyway, by the time May rolls along, Marcos will be old news and Ptooctjet wffl be in the spotlight. Now Ptnochet is a prime candidate for the "Dictators You Love To Hate" list.

Live Aid for ThunderbirdSince this is the period for musical fun­

draisers. President Voris has announced his plans for LIVE AID for AGSIM, In September numerous rock bands will be performing free in the back field. So far the bands that have agreed to perform include 10,000 Maniacs, Black Flag, Zeitgiest. The Meat Puppets, Stevie Nicks, Spinal Tap, Surgical Steel and the Norweigen group Ah- ha. It is rumored that David Lee Roth and his new band may appear as well as the heavy metal master Ozzy Osboume. Tickets will be $12.50 and general admission only.

ASLC president, Greg Peters has an­ nounced his campaign to write letters to

Soccer update.

other popular rock groups to get them to donate their services. This event, which is schedules for September 25th in conjuction with the 40th anniversary celebrations, will air o= eSassel 15. "This wffl be yet another monumental music event" Voris said. Although Voris has not heard of any of these bands, he said that it was all for a "worthy cause" and it didn't matter what kind of music it was.

Students wishing to help in this event can sign op in the ASLC office. Proceeds from AGSIM-AID will go to the scholarship fund and into improving the tennis courts and weight room.

-»-..-4,.

The Thimderbirds Face DefeatThe Thunderbird Soccer Squad Sunday

squandered a sure selection for the world soccer cup at Sun Devil Stadium in a sur­ prising sensational sudden ending in the final six seconds of the match. Losing 2-1 to an agressive French team, Thunderbirds only goal came at the feet of Driss BakkalL

Team captain Mehdi Khajenouri said, "It was the worst display of soccer these eyes

have ever seen." Although he bad com­ pliments for the officiating at the game, James Ortiz said "The coke machine ripped me off for 50 cents."

After the game, Ed "The Wall" Schneider remained stoned-faced amid the bric-a-brac of a Tempe watering hole. Other team members had no comment to this reporter.

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DAS TORCAMPUS NOTESGraduation News

The Graduation Committee has been busy making arrangements for the evening graduation party on May 23rd. By unanimous vote, the reception will be held at the Arizona Biltmore Hotel on 24th St. and Missouri. Hotel rooms will be available (at a reduced rate) for Students and [Mfeflts from may 23rd onward Tickets will be sold at various spots around campus dur­ ing the latter half of the semester

The committee is presently in­ volved in the selection of an or­ chestra, equipped to play swing. jazz, and top 40.

In addition, the committee has

German Dinner Import/Export Retractionarranged for a photographer to take color candids of each student receiving his/her diploma. Students will be given the option to purchase these pictures at a minimal cost.

The graduation committee welcomes suggestions from the student body and all ideas sJiosilc! be sent to Kirn Reimann (Box 2078 > and Audrie LeRoy (Box 919). com­ mittee chairpersons. Other com­ mittee members include Penny Clark. Anne Mane Miller. Pamela Herideen. Lauren Pisacane. Da\fe Bagley, Bill Hecht. Ken Cheuvront. and Marc Gallin.

Guten Tog! The German Club cor­ dially invites you to an evening of German festivities. Friday, April 4 is GERMAN NIGHT in the AGSIM dining hall. A wonderful menu featuring Wienerschnitzel mil Champignons, Brautwurst mit Sauerkraut. Strudel, and other tas­ ty ^jcfiBan iFE3t5 sTwaifcS you, along with atmosphere of the old country. German music, and BEER served by club members. For those of you off-campus dwellers who would like to join us in the dining hall, there will be a $4.75 charge at the door. Hope to see you all there!

Invitations OnlyThe Faculty Senate decided that

student presence at senate ".meetings stwoW be by invitation

only. The reasoning for this is that faculty members do not want to feel inhibited during discussions by students in attendance. If you would like to attend a Faculty Senate meeting please contact Dr. Guthrey.

Orient YourselfInterviews for the new Orienta­

tion Chairman will be held April 8 - 10. If you are interested in the posi­ tion leave a note in box 2050.

On the same track, the Orienta­ tion committee has been working with Dean Arthur on a program which would extend more attention to new and prospective students not yet here at Thunderbird, The program would include tours of the school conducted by students to aquaint the new students with our facilities and resources.

Sub Sen-iceThe Student Alumni Committee

is currently working on

ASLC Updateestablishing a subscription service (or alumni who are interested in receiving the Das Tor. They arealso putting together a service for alums returning to campus.

Graduation PartyThe Graduation Committee has

booked this and next semester's graduation parties at the Biltmore Resort. Tickets will go on sale in April for $10 but the price will in­ crease to $12.50 in May. so buy ear­ ly.

Don't forget to get measured for your cap and gown. The committee has set April 9 & 10 as the dates for measurement. Please show up at the Coleman Lounge between 11:00 and 1:30 on those dates. Also, the graduation photo will be taken on April 9 at 1:30 in the quad.

The Graduation Committee is getting some help from Dr. Voris this semester as he is paying for all of the flowers which will be given to the mothers. Graduates must stop by the P.O. Lobby sometime Tuesday-Thursday. April 1-3, in the morning. Committee members will be collecting important in-

ASLC Needs ContinuitybyEduardoDelgado

One afternoon, at the end of the last summer. 1 saw a friend stapl­ ing a poster on one of the boards

.near the auditorium. After reading the poster I asked: "What does ASLC mean?. What are these elec­ tions for?." Her explanation sounded appealing to me and. before I knew it. I decided to run for toe position of Entertainment Chairperson.

Getting elected has probably been the best thing that has ever happened to me here at AGSIM. The position has allowed me to meet and work with wonderful peo­ ple, both students and faculty, and also has allowed me to know my school better. It is really hard to realize what is going on beind the scenes here at AGSIM without be­ ing involved in its Student Govern­ ment.

Because I enjoyed so much my

experiences as Entertainment Chairman. I decided to run for Vice President to further my in­ volvement in all ASLC activities, and I was lucky again. I have been your Vice-President during this semester and it has been con­ siderably more challenging and in­ teresting. It is amazing all the things that you can do for the school as a member of the ASLC.

Beau Kennedy. Chip Graves, Jan Fahs. Robert Duncan. Heidi Wagner, and Greg Jenik during the fall: Greg Peters. Mike Dulaney. Nicola Kettlitz. Jose Mantilla. T.D. Chapman and Gienn Westra dur­ ing this semester, have been ex­ cellent partners here at the ASLC. They have given the best of themselves working for the student body. It is going to be very difficult to replace them.

The best way to achieve any goal

formation regarding graduation.

Around the WorldDean Beaner reported that

Diane Carter won the Cir­ cumnavigators Award. Diane will be given {6000 to travel around the world conducting research on en- trepreneurship in under developed countries.

Check it out at toe PubJohnny Goodman will be arrang­

ing for athletic equipment to be checked out from the Pub so that athletic directors will not always have to be present to distribute the equipment.

Grievance BoardDr. Guthery. Jose Mat ilia, and

T.D. Chapman met to discuss the Grievance Board of Appeals which is a board of students and faculty which would attempt to deal with unappropriate student behavior which is not necessarily of ad­ ministrative concern. Anyone with any experience in this area should contactT.D.. box257.

is through continued bard work. There has been continuity in the ASLC in the past two semesters, and it has been a key factor in its success. However, there are a lot of things to do. I have not seen students interested in the different ASLC positions. Elections for all the positions in the ASLC are com­ ing soon, and probably we will not have enough candidates to replace our officers. That is really sad. Neither our school or the students deserve that.

If we do not attack this problem promptly, two big opportunities will be wasted: to gain great per­ sonal experience, and to work for a better school.

I already had my opportunity and I took advantage of it. I thank both, the friend I saw that summer afternoon, and all my friends at the ASLC.

The Thunderbird Entrepreneurs Club and Import/Export Club are sponsoring John Waters and Den­ nis Tan of WTC. Inc. Monday, April 7. at 7:00 p.m. in the ASLC meeting room. WTC is an invest­ ment brokerage firm specializing in futures trading. These young en­ trepreneurs itK 23 ycaTS Old 5X5 have built a multimillion dollar company from a very' modest in­ vestment club at ASU. WTC is the largest investment brokerage firm in Arizona and has recently gone nationwide. Join us Monday for an enlightening and informative discussion.

The Academic Affairs Commit­ tee regrets an error in its March 17 article on academic dishonesty. It states "Currently, the first offense of academic dishonesty is punishable by the teacher failing the student and the student being placed on probation." We wish to mike it clear that the first oflesse is also punishable by expulsion per the Academic's Council's Rules and Policies (F.4), page 16 of the Student Handbook.

Asian NightThe semi-annual ritual of Asia

night draws near. For many of the ctmteff«:_ Asia night is us unknown. For those who have experienced it. it may be the memory of exotic foods, of unknown and enticing smells, or perhaps a vision of folk dancers in traditional dress. For others it may be just another beer party in the quad. This years Asia night will be all this and more. The entertainment will include a fashion show with Third models, A philipino dance troop, an 11 year old thai classical dancer and a Martial Arts display. We will have nine different national cuisines represented by the food boothes...everything from Kim- che to curry!

For me Asia night is a chance to celebrate a part of the world that is little understood in the west. To many, Asia is a place quaint or ex­

otic, to others it is a place of economic opportunity. For me,Asia is the home of Buddha, of Lo» 1st and confucious. of Mahatma Ghandi. The birthplace of many great traditions that we in the west would do well to understand and emulate.

Few westerners appreciate the gnat diversity of cultural group­ ings that we call Asia. The societies of China, India and Japan area more widely know in the west The societies, grand as they are, represent only a portion of the cultural tradition of the region. At Thunderbird it is easy to become accustomed to being with students from all over the world Asia night is an opportunity to celebrate our Asian students.

Asia night is April 5th at 7:00 in the quad.

Resume BookThe non-profit Careers dub is

planning on printing their own resume book (separate from Career Services} which wfll be sent to over 150 non-profit organizations in late April, early May.

All students win be allowed to submit their resumes for inclusion in the book, under the following conditions:1. You are allowed to submit your

resume even if you are not graduating, so long as you have included "Date Available" on your resume.

2. Your job objective must be complementary to work in non­ profit organizations. This does not mean that you must

specifically state non-profits in your objective, but if it says anything like "Banking and Finance," forget it *

3. A fee will be charged to cover printing and mailing costs. We trill announce the fee when we have determined oar costs. We expect it to be between $5 and $10.

The deadline for resumes to be submitted is April 18. We wfll be posting notices explaining when, where and bow we will be collec­ ting resumes. A list of organiza­ tions to which we are writing wfll be available for students to see at that time.

I! you have questions, fed free to contact Barbara Owens, Box 174.

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