A POINT OF VIEW PAPER BY THE EXPERTS IN BEHAVIOURAL CHANGE AND ACHIEVING ORGANIZATIONAL POTENTIAL

Narcissistic LEADERS Part 1 of 4 Dysfunct ional Le ade rship Styles Series :

AND THE PURSUIT OF Power, Money AND PRESTIGE

Practical Insight THE NEWSLETTER OF CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS SEPTEMBER 2015

4 Dysfunctions of Leaders

This article is the first in a series of articles on dysfunctional leaders. Each of the articles provides insight into the 4 Dysfunctional Styles:

NarcissisticAvoidant

Patriarchal (Autocratic) Matriarchal (Nurturing)

Each of the dysfunctional leadership styles:

has natural talents and abilitiesthat when directed can be usedin the service of the organiza-tion.

has specific behaviors that theyuse to achieve their own agen-da that get in the way of theorganizations goals.

have to be managed andcoached in order to shift fromfunctional to dysfunctionalbehaviors.

can be developed over time toadd value to the organization.

We customize our leadership devel-opment and coaching services to meet the needs of your leaders and organizations. We encourage you to call us to discuss your needs.

www.caliberleadership.com

hhilliard@caliberleadership.com

416.406.3939

Part I: The Narcissistic Leadership Style

There is a lot of confusion about the differences between people who are narcissistic

(Narcissists) versus those who have a narcissistic personality disorder. According to the

Mayo Clinic “Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have

an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with

narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little

regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile

self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”

The narcissist is not mentally ill, does not have a personality disorder and is most inter-

ested in gaining power, money and prestige. They may act the same and seem indistin-

guishable to those with a personality disorder for most people, however, their self-

esteem is not as fragile and they are able to develop new behaviors. They seem the same

because they use the same dysfunctional behaviors to achieve their agenda. These peo-

ple are arrogant and obnoxious and act as though they are superior to others. They have

little or no empathy and feel entitled to special treatment. They exploit others to get

what they want and have no qualms about doing this. With little capacity for reflec-

tion, their self-awareness is low. They rarely apologize as they have no insight into

what they do and feel little shame or remorse.

People who are narcissistic easily assume the role of leader because they feel entitled to

the place at the top. This affirms their belief in their superiority. They enjoy having

power and have no difficulty using it to get what they want.

Because Narcissistic Leaders have an image of themselves as being great leaders, they

are more likely to become leaders than their peers. They are promoted for the image

they project rather than for their own capabilities. They easily sell their image and im-

press those above them in the organization. Charismatic and influential, they stand out

from their peers. They tend to be outgoing, socially confident and enthusiastic. Others

are naturally drawn to them and are happy to follow and work hard to please them.

The bad news is that promoting Narcissists into leadership roles without a solid strategy

for managing their behavior and developing them can have a strong, negative impact

on organizational alignment and cohesiveness. Narcissists may be good at rising to pow-

er within an organization, but their success usually doesn’t last long. Once people see

past the image to who they are and what they are actually capable of doing, it is too

late. Studies have shown that narcissist managers are generally rated as average for

problem-solving skills, but below average for “leadership skills, interpersonal skills and

integrity.”

While there are many Narcissistic Leadership behaviors, the following are examples

of the more frequent ones and the type of organizational issues they create.

Caliber Leadership Systems©

4 Dysfunctions of Leaders

1. NOT A TEAM PLAYER

Narcissistic Leaders have their own agen-

da, which is to demonstrate their superior-

ity and be the best. They need to have a

group of admiring people to follow them

and support their ideas and visions. On a

leadership team, their personal agenda of-

ten conflicts with the agenda of their team.

Because they want to show others how

superior they are, they disrupt, delay, dis-

count and devalue people and fracture the

cohesiveness of their team. Easily slighted

by others when they aren’t recognized or

when they are put in their place, they will

use emotions to create further conflict on

the team. Fract

RESULT: FRACTURED LEADERSHIP TEAM

The behavior of the Narcissistic Leader

gets in the way of building strong leader-

ship teams aligned behind the organiza-

tional objectives. Because they need to

win, they create power struggles with team

members or the team leader; are disruptive

during meetings; or they show up late or

unprepared to participate. They easily de-

flect blame or responsibility and will

charm their peers into seeing things from

their perspective. This can lead to “us vs.

them” dynamics on the team.

2. ARROGANCE & SUPERIORITY

Narcissistic Leaders believe they know

better than others. They dismiss or devalue

the ideas and opinions of their peers, boss

and direct reports should they differ from

their own. They also exaggerate their

achievements and talents, and expect to be

recognized as superior. To others, they

appear arrogant. They give their opinions

and expect others to agree with and defer

to them. Status is important to them and

they want to associate with other special or

high-status people often dismissing others

they consider to have no value.

RESULT: ORGANIZATIONAL SILOS

This leaders wants to be king or queen of

the castle. To do this, they have to create

their own domain where they can do so.

They will implement systems and practices

different from those used in the organiza-

tion. If the organization has a culture that

is family oriented, the culture of their de-

partment may be functional and imperson-

al. Driven by the belief that their way is

the better way, this leader does their own

thing at the expense of organizational

alignment.

3. LACK OF COMPLIANCE

With a strong sense of entitlement, Narcis-

sistic Leaders believe they don’t have to

comply with organizational policies, proto-

cols and even timelines. They expect the

exceptions to be made for them and be-

lieve their excuses and rational will be ac-

cepted without question. Should anyone

get upset with them or when they are held

accountable, they either blame others or

circumstances or they use emotion to get

others to back down. They become en-

raged should someone say “no” or treat

them like everyone else.

RESULT: FAILURE TO “WALK THE TALK” While Narcissistic Leaders promote an im-

age of the type of leader they are, their

behavior rarely aligns. They will promote

values, authenticity, consistency and align-

CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Narcissistic Behavior SEPTEMBER 2015

Caliber Leadership Systems©

ment of behaviors which they follow

when it serves them. They will be the

first to criticize others for not doing so,

but will not listen to feedback about their

behavior and the impact it has on the

business. This creates performance issues

when their direct reports disregard the

organizations mandate in favor of the

Narcissistic Leader’s.

4. USES PEOPLE FOR OWN AGENDA

These leaders have no qualms about using

people to achieve his or her own ends.

They promote their image of being supe-

rior and devalue others to increase their

self-esteem. Someone has to be weak so

they can be strong. They see vulnerabili-

ties in others and get others to serve them

by exploiting them. They chose people

with low self-esteem and take advantage

of their weaknesses. They will criticize,

humiliate or embarrass others in public

with demeaning jokes or comments.

RESULT: NO LEADERSHIP BENCH

STRENGTH Because Narcissistic Leaders feel threat-

ened by competent people, they don’t

hire competent leaders as their businesses

grow. Instead they hire people who are

less competent or inexperienced to main-

tain their status as “top dog.” The result-

ing lack of bench strength and leadership

gap creates serious issues with employees.

It can also interfere with the ability to

deliver to customers. Next level managers

end up working long hours to compensate

for their lack of development and

experience.

5. GRANDIOSE GOALS

The Narcissistic Leader won’t listen to

anyone or anything that doesn’t align

with their view of reality. This includes

feedback about themselves and their vi-

sion. Fuelled by their current success and

image of what they can do, they make

decisions without testing the reality.

Should someone challenge them, espe-

cially in a public forum, they retaliate in

passive and aggressive ways. Employees

learn quickly not to challenge or question

them.

RESULT: FAILURE TO ACHIEVE GOALS

Narcissistic Leaders will take risks that

can threaten the value of the organization

instead of increasing it. They will build a

thriving company only to crash it by tak-

ing excessive risks! Looking to increase

their status and power, they drive growth

so fast that their business implodes. Or

they take capital risks without doing due

diligence. They reject any advice to the

contrary of what they want to do and

stay. With little insight into themselves

and their motivations, they set their own

course for destruction.

6. CONTROLS & OVERPOWER OTHERS

While these leaders don’t think of them-

selves as controlling, they use many tac-

tics to control the behavior of others.

They use both aggressive and passive

aggressive behaviors and are not above

using their emotions to intimidate and

manipulate the feelings of others to get

their own way. Their agenda is clear. Do

it my way or pay the emotional conse-

quences.

RESULT: CREATES A FEAR CULTURE People who work for or with Narcissistic

Leaders often walk on eggshells around

them. They are unsure of how they are

going to respond and are afraid to offer

opposing opinions. While they can’t

figure out why anyone would be afraid

of them, direct reports become “Yes”

men and women. Employees will work

hard for them, but will always keep

themselves protected for fear they do or

say something wrong.

It is said that it is most difficult to change

the behavior of narcissistic people. This is

because they can’t see past their perfect

image of themselves to the real person

behind it. Developing their emotional

intelligence, including building self-

awareness, developing empathy and re-

flecting on their behavior are all critical

to their long-term success as leaders.

There are three key barriers that need to

be addressed in order to develop

Narcissistic Leaders:

CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Narcissistic Behavior SEPTEMBER 2015

Caliber Leadership Systems©

LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS & SELF-

REFLECTION: Narcissistic Leaders can’t

see past their inflated image to see their

part in the problem. They are defensive

rather than insightful.

LACK OF ADAPTATION OR CHANGE:

Even though their behavior is dysfunc-

tional, they don’t change it – because they

don’t think they have a problem. They

may say they are going to try and then

don’t.

INABILITY TO SEE THEY ARE THE

PROBLEM. Narcissistic Leaders see the

cause of problems as being outside of

them. Since they don’t see their part they

don’t see the need for them to change.

They blame others or try to change other

people to help them feel better.

Narcissistic behavior is a form of adaptation. Long-standing adap-tive patterns of behavior can be changed and new, productive re-sponses and patterns can be put in their place.

Based on our experience working with

narcissist leaders, they can develop their

leadership skills and emotional intelli-

gence by doing the following:

BUILD SELF-AWARENESS Understanding the drivers of their behav-

ior, their emotional needs, strengths and

weaknesses and having an accurate assess-

ment of their capacity is critical to their

development. They also need to under-

stand the impact of their behavior on oth-

ers and how it gets in the way of them

achieving their leadership potential.

DEVELOP EMPATHY

Learning to consider the perspective of

others and imagine how they might feel

in a difficult situation allows Narcissistic

Leaders to strengthen their relationships

with coworkers. They can learn how to

tolerate and handle others emotional re-

sponses without dismissing or devaluing

them.

LISTEN TO OTHERS

Narcissistic Leaders can learn to listen to

what others are saying and not discount

information that is contrary to what they

believe. Having discussions that help

them understand the other persons point

of view rather trying to win or show the

other person they are wrong reduces the

risk of them making impulsive decisions

that may negatively impact the business.

LEARN TO SHARE

Narcissistic Leaders need to learn to share

center stage and able to listen as well as

talk. They are able to tolerate being on a

team without having to take over to show

their superiority. It is also important for

them to be able to ask for feedback and

learn how to coach and mentor others

without feeling threatened.

HIRE A LEADERSHIP COACH

As it is difficult for Narcissistic Leaders to

develop without consistent feedback from

someone who is sensitive to their charac-

ter formation, Leadership Coaching is a

must. The Coach needs to understand

their personality structure, their defences

and be able to confront their dysfunction-

al behavior. The Coach needs to show

them the potential negative consequences

should they not change.

PARTICIPATE IN A LEADERSHIP DEVEL-

OPMENT PROGRAM WHICH INCLUDES

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COACHING Narcissistic Leaders must build awareness

of how they are contributing to their

team and employee’s dysfunction. These

people tend to have some natural leader-

ship characteristics without having the

necessary skills to manage, develop and

assess performance. Participating in a

team training program lets them be rec-

ognized for their progress while, getting

feedback from their peers.

For information on how we can help you deal with narcissistic or other dysfunctional leadership be-havior in your organization, contact us for a complimentary consultation.

heather@caliberleadership.com

416.406.3939

www.caliberleadership.com

CALIBER LEADERSHIP SYSTEMS — Dysfunctions of Leaders—Narcissistic Behavior SEPTEMBER 2015

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