Improving CommunicationAlan Gillies-L2LGroupCopyright 2009, L2LGroup, All rights reserved.

Effective Communication is crucial to all our roles

Improving communication will make you more Effective and Efficient

Communicating effectively is a Challenge

Your message has to be Understood

3 Steps to Communicate Effectively

Step 1Listen dont Hear

Step 1Listen dont Hear

Communication is Two Way

Active Listening is necessary for two way communication

Barriers to Listening

Understand what is being said

Seek Clarity

Dont Assume

Replay what you heard

Dont focus on your Response

Once you understand a Response will Follow

Active listening demands 100% attention

Active Listening will send the Right Signals

Step2Build Rapport

Be in Sync

Pacing

Tonality

Understand their Map of the World

Be aware of Verbal and Non verbal Communication

Space

Space

Gestures

Instinct

Body Language is crucial

Effectiveness93%

Non Verbal CuesSource: Study UCLA California

Impact 7% WordsSource: Study UCLA California

Impact 38% Voice QualitySource: Study UCLA California

Impact 55% Non VerbalSource: Study UCLA California

Listen with your eyes

Eye Contact

Step 3Choose Words Carefully

Send your message

Remember their MAP

Use their Language

Say only what you Need to say

Use Scenarios and Stories

Metaphors and Analogies are very powerful

Connect Emotionally and Rationally

Use Props or Visuals if appropriate

Respond Straightforwardly to questions

Check Understanding

Avoid Technical Language

Avoid Ambiguity

Do You Have Any Questions?Contact : Alan Gillies

Tel : 0844 873 3170Mobile : 07787 506697Email : info@L2LGroup.comWeb: www.L2LGroup.comCopyright 2009, L2LGroup, All rights reserved

Alan Gillies spent 16 years in the Pharmaceutical Industry working in the UK and Internationally. He held a number of Senior Positions and roles some of which he had responsibility for in excess of 250 Staff.He is a qualified Master Practitioner of NLP certified by the Society of NLP set up by Dr Richard Bandler one of the founders of Neuro Linguistic Programming.

His company L2LGroup provide Consulting, Training and Coaching Services on a wide variety of topics such as Marketing, Business Planning, Communication and Negotiation Skills to many sectors including Pharmaceutical Companies and Healthcare Providers.

Alan also works as a Coach and Mentor to SME Owners and Entrepreneurs as well as providing support on a voluntary basis to assist young business owners via his involvement with the Princes Scottish Youth Business Trust.Communication is something that we all do, whether we are as effective as we could be is another matter.Communication is all about the transmission of meaning to others.What is important is that 'meaning' is transferred. In other words, it is important the other person understand what we want them to understand, and that they understand the intended meaning.More precisely, purposeful communication is the transmission of intended meaning to others.Implied in this isThat the sender of the communication has clear knowledge and understanding of the meaning he wishes to convey, andThat the receiver interprets the message in such a manner that he receives the intended meaning.Hence for effective communication the sender must determine the purpose of the communication and use words which have the same meaning for sender and receiver.All to often other pressures get in the way and rather than focusing on what communication is all about i.e. The recipient of our communication understanding what we are looking to get across, we settle for knowing that we have said what we want to say.Effective communication is not about ensuring we have said what we want or need to say it is about ensuring the meaning of our communication has been understood.In our jobs and our lives if we learn to communicate effectively there will be many benefits not just for ourselves but for those that we communicate with.The purpose of this workshop is to outline three simple steps that ,if we work on applying them consistently , will ensure that all our communications are as effective as they can be.Improving communication will make us more effective and efficient, it will do this by ensuring we get across what we need to and it is fully understood .This will dramatically reduce misunderstandings and having to repeat ourselves or our tasks because we or others didn't fully understand what we needed or required in the first place.In a medical situation a key challenge is often to get patients to comply with treatment or to take ownership for their condition or treatment pathway.Effective communication will improve compliance and shared responsibility by improving patients understanding of their illness and their treatment and WHY it is important for them to follow the guidance of their Health Care Professional.In other walks of life being able to get across effectively what we need to first time will increase our efficiency and effectiveness in many ways.Talking or speaking is generally easy, COMMUNICATING is much harder . Like many things the basic principles are not difficult but consistently putting them into practice can be challenging. In the modern world where we are all pressured by time, performance targets and the constant stress of things that initially were supposed to make life easier for us..........whatever did we spend all our time doing before email and mobile phones !! It can be easy to focus on just saying what we need to say and leaving the responsibility with others to ensure they understand. If we want to be effective communicators we must take ownership of our communication and make sure that we are understood and not just heard

There is no doubt that the principles we will look at in this workshop are unlikely to be new to most or indeed all of you, the challenge comes in putting them into practice on a daily basis DESPITE the other difficulties we face.

However I guarantee that if you put in the necessary effort and practice then not only will these principles eventually become second nature but they will make you far more effective in all walks of life that require you to communicate effectively.In order to be considered effective any communication has to be fully understood by the recipient or recipients of the communication. This is even more crucial in situations where the topic or concepts are or can be technical in nature and also where it is crucially important that there are no misunderstandings or grey areas .

In these sort of situations some of which could be life threatening then it is our responsibility to ENSURE that we have been understood and to satisfy ourselves that this is in fact the case.

There are a number of ways to do this and to help us confirm we have been understood and that we have communicated effectively , we will look at these as we go through the rest of the workshop.The rest of this workshop will focus on outlining the 3 Simple Steps that will help you communicate effectively as well as looking at a methodology to help in communicating Bad News. Unfortunately there is nothing that will make communicating bad news easy but the process I will outline will make it more structured and help reduce some of the understandable anxiety that we all feel about giving bad news no matter how often we deliver it.It may sound simple, but often ,people forget how to listen - instead, they just choose to 'hear' the message instead of really understanding what is actually being said. If the meaning of the message is distorted due to a misunderstanding on your part, it will result in miscommunication. The rule of thumb is, listen first to what is being said, then formulate your response from there.

We should aim to listen more than we talk and to use techniques such as open questions to get others to open up to us

As I am sure we are all aware Open Questions start with What, Where , Why How etc, they are generally most effective at getting information from people.

Open questions have the following characteristics:

They ask the respondent to think and reflect.They will give you opinions and feelings.They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.

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This makes open questions useful in the following situations:

Usage Example As a follow-on from closed questions, to develop a conversation and open up someone who is rather quiet.What did you do on you holidays? How do you keep focused on your work?To find out more about a person, their wants, needs, problems, and so on. What's keeping you awake these days? Why is that so important to you?To get people to realize the extend of their problems (to which, of course, you have the solution). I wonder what would happen if your customers complained even more? Rob Jones used to go out late. What happened to him? To get them to feel good about you by asking after their health or otherwise demonstrating human concern about them. How have you been after your operation? You're looking down. What's up?

Closed questions also have their place :

Closed questions have the following characteristics:

They give you facts.They are easy to answer.They are quick to answer.They keep control of the conversation with the questioner. This makes closed questions useful in the following situations:Usage Example As opening questions in a conversation, as it makes it easy for the other person to answer, and doesn't force them to reveal too much about themselves.It's great weather, isn't it? Where do you live? What time is it?For testing their understanding (asking yes/no questions). This is also a great way to break into a long ramble.So, you want to move into our apartment, with your own bedroom and bathroom?

For setting up a desired positive or negative frame of mind in them (asking successive questions with obvious answers either yes or no ).Are you happy with your current supplier? Do they give you all that you need?Would you like to find a better supplier?For achieving closure of a persuasion (seeking yes to the big question). If I can deliver this tomorrow, will you sign for it now? Communication is a two-way street. If a person says something to you, you are expected to give a response in kind. If any dialogue stops becoming or never becomes two way then it is not communication and it is highly unlikely to be effective.

Aim to ensure that a conversation is two way, if you are saying too much use silences and open questions to get the other person to speak. If they are talking too much use closed questions to interrupt and steer the communication back on track to where you need it to be.Active Listening, is a critical element of the communication process. When you are engaged in active listening, it is important to direct attention to both the verbal and nonverbal cues provided by the other person. Like many other skills, listening requires conscious effort and constant practice. Active listening skills can be improved and enhanced by developing the following attitudes and skills:

Hear the speaker outFocus on ideasRemove or adjust distractionsMaintain objectivityConcentrate on the immediate interaction

Active listeners encourage the speaker with nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, gestures, and verbalizations. Check for understanding by asking questions such as "What did you mean . . . " or "Could you tell me more?" They also restate in their own words what the speaker said. "reflect back" the speaker's feelings, saying things like "It sounds like you're really upset." Only when feelings are acknowledged will the speaker feel heard and understood.

Ineffective Listening occurs when obstacles or barriers are present. These barriers are sometimes classified as physiological, physical, or psychosocial. Physiological barriers result from some kind of sensory dysfunction on the part of either the sender or the receiver. Such things as hearing impairments, speech defects, and even vision problems influence the effectiveness of communication. Physical barriers consist of elements in the environment (such as noise) that contribute to the development of physiological barriers (such as the inability to hear). Psychosocial barriers are usually the result of one's inaccurate perception of self or others; the presence of some defense mechanism employed to cope with some form of threatening anxiety; or the existence of factors such as age, education, culture, language, nationality, or a multitude of other socioeconomic factors. Psychosocial barriers are the most difficult to identify and the most common cause of not actively listening. If we have preconceptions about someone based on these Psychosocial Barriers then often we will have already decided what the issue is or will switch off and not be really listening to what is being communicated.

Often also when we are busy we are preoccupied and not fully concentrating on the person or topic at hand , this makes it almost impossible to be actively listening as active listening requires full attentionIn order to be able to communicate effectively and to be able to act or assist someone who we are communicating with we have to understand what they are saying to us. All to often we THINK we know what they are saying or we have already made our minds up before they have finished speaking to us. If we are to be fully effective then we must ensure that we REALLY do UNDERSTAND what they are telling us.

Often the real meaning of what they are saying is hidden or requires us to read between the lines or look at some other clues to GET what they are saying.If we are unsure (or even if we feel pretty certain) of what is being communicated then we must clarify it to be sure. If you are doing the communicating ask the other person or the group to tell you what they understood by what you have just said or what you have asked them to do if it is action based. If they have communicated to you then CHECK that you have picked up what they wanted to communicate to you or what action they want you to carry out.

Only by clarifying what we believe the meaning of the communication to be can we be really certain that we have FULLY understood.We are all I am sure aware of the saying about assumptions, however it is crucial that we do not fall into this trap.Assuming we know the answer or what the real issue is without really listening or understanding is a sure fire way of being caught out. Very often our assumptions will be spot on but it is the occasions where they are way off that we regret most. Therefore make sure that you Never act upon non validated assumptions , always ensure that whatever you may have assumed(if you just cant help yourself) has been verified by what you have heard and seen.As I mentioned earlier one thing that we have to do is CLARIFY what we believe we have heard and understood. Once of the most effective ways of doing this is to replay to the communicator what you have picked up :

So if I understood you correctly you said that ........................ Is this correct ?A common problem is that we are too often wrapped up in what we are going to say and therefore we miss what is being said.In order to really hear someone we need to be listening to them intently , we cannot do this if we are busy formulating our response to what they are telling us.Focus 100% on what they are saying and what they are doing while they say it to us, resist the temptation to formulate what you are going to say to them while they are still talking .......or worse still tune out and drift off somewhere else !!!It has been shown that if we really understand what is being said to us and what the issue or issues really are that as intelligent human beings we will naturally know how to respond. It is not necessary for us to skip ahead and formulate our responses.

Effective Active listening will ensure that you fully understand and when you do the right response will follow...........try it !!Like many things Active Listening is a skill and skills can be learned and enhanced, however like any skill unless we devote our full attention then we are always going to fall short in the outcome that we achieve. Active Listening is no different, if you practice giving it 100% over time it will happen naturally and without conscious effort. Remember how hard it was when you learnt to drive at the beginning and compare that to how we can do it almost unconsciously now.

Active listening will be no different, if you practice it consciously it will become easier and you will reap the benefits in many walks of life, if you don't practice it will always be challenging and you may find it easier reverting to just Hearing missing out on all the benefits of REALLY listening.

The other very important benefit of Active Listening is that it sends very powerful positive signals to others. I am sure we have all been in situations where we know that the other person is not really listening to a word we say. How does that make us feel ? Are we more or less likely to warm to them and follow any advice or guidance that they give to us...probably not.

It has been well documented that as Human beings we are extremely effective at picking up signals from other human beings. Apart from it helping us to understand what is being said, Active listening sends the right signals and messages to others about how much we are paying attention to them.

This leads us on to the 2nd Step that is necessary for Communicating EffectivelyIn order to be able to communicate effectively with individuals or groups we need to be able to build a rapport with them. How much more comfortable do we feel with friends or family versus being in a situation with new people or groups.

This is down to the level of rapport that we have with them. It is possible using a few techniques to build good rapport with people very quickly . Once mastered these techniques will allow you to generate good and positive rapport with people in a very short space of time and then be able to build on that at each and every subsequent contact.It has been demonstrated and is a generally accepted principle that it is easier to build good rapport with people if we are in sync with them. Well what do we mean by that and how can we be in sync with someone that we may have never met before ?

It has been shown that there are certain things that our unconscious picks up on that allows us to feel very quickly at ease and in sync with people-we may not know why but we just feel comfortable in their presence compared to others. I am sure we all know people whom everyone seems to warm to immediately...there is just something about them.

These people may be consciously practicing some of the things I am about to talk about or very often they are themselves doing them unconsciously. Some of the things that I am going to talk about are often labelled as Mirroring I am sure we have all heard about the concept of mirroring what other people do e.g. Cross your legs when they do uncross them when they do etc, well that is an extremely clumsy way of doing what we are about to hear about and honestly is more often very irritating and annoying than beneficial.

With practice however there are far more subtle and effective ways of mirroring that dont end up becoming annoying or just plain weird and help very quickly to put people at ease and allow them to feel comfortable in your presence.One of the first ways we can start to make people feel at ease is by what is called Pacing. People talk and breath at different rates, some people talk very quickly others very slowly, people take long slow deep breaths or rapid shallow breaths. Anyone who has studied hypnosis will know that matching the pace and rate or peoples breathing is one of the first things that a hypnotist will aim to do, once you have matched their breathing a skilled person can then actually start to control their breathing by the rate at which they themselves start breathing.

For our purposes though what we want to do is notice their breathing patterns and start to very subtly match them ,so if they are breathing slowly and deliberately then we want to start doing the same, the key is subtlety, if they have just run in from the car park we may want to wait a bit until their breathing has normalised before trying to match it !!

Once you have started to match their breathing you can if you wish see if they will follow you if you start to slow your breathing down or speed it up, if they don't no matter just aim to have a pattern similar to theirs.

The next thing that we want to pace is their speech rate, if the speak slowly and deliberately you aim to match your rate to the same as theirs, if they speak more rapidly you do the same, again the trick here is subtlety, if you are poles apart to start with don't suddenly speak at 100 miles an hour or slow to a Texas drawl as that will be too apparent take some time and start to narrow the differences between you till you are near to where they are.

You will find it amazing how effective this can be when done properly at quickly starting to build a good rapport with people that you meet, they wont know why but they ill just feel more at ease and comfortable with you.The second thing to be aware of is Tonality, people pick up messages from the tone of your voice.How you say the same thing can be picked up very differently , it would be very difficult to convey patience and understanding if you are shouting at the top of your voice, an extreme example but you get what I mean. Often we allow other things that are bothering us to be conveyed in our tone, we can be more clipped or abrupt if we are stressed or under pressure.

It is very important that we focus on the appropriate tone of voice for the situation regardless of what may have just been happening before or what is going to have to happen after, an appropriate tone can make a huge difference to the value of any communication or interaction. If someone is upset or distressed you may find it beneficial to lower your voice and speak more softly and slowly-again these are not likely to be new principles necessarily but being able to do them naturally and without thinking takes practice and effort.

Speaking slowly and deliberately prefaced with something like I really need you to hear this and understand it....... often can be very powerful when you need to get something important across to people.

As well as assisting communication generally using the appropriate tone can also make people feel at ease and in rapport with you, a cheery Good Morning and the use of a persons name can go a really long way in helping them feel in sync with you.Every second of our lives, millions of bits of information are streaming through our five senses into our minds, but only a fraction gets consciously registered. It follows then that we cannot truly know the world as it is, not only because our conscious awareness is limited, but even that tiny bit that gets in we experience through the conscious and unconscious filters that we have, like our beliefs, values and states.

Because everyone experiences the world differently, others may have a different experience of reality than you do, and its not about being any more right or wrong than yours is, it is about how they see things compared to everyone else. You or they might have lived your whole life believing something is so, but just because you believed in it didnt necessarily make it so. If we can understand what they believe then we can understand how they may relate to situations and be better able to communicate effectively with them using their beliefs and filters rather than our own.

Someone might have had one lousy experience in the past, and formed that belief. As the years went by, they might have forgotten how that belief got formed, and taken that habitual belief to be fact: to them thats how the world really is.

People respond according to their 'maps'. The human mind has a special capability. It can give meaning to things. As we grow up in the world, we experience things and give meaning to them according to the map that we have.

Most people think everything they think and feel is REAL. Respect that. Rapport is created when you can step into that person's model of the world (even if you don't want to stay there).

If we can understand how they see things or even just that they may see things differently then it will better allow us to make some suggestions as to how they may be able to look at things differently and see a better or different outcome

The two basic modes of communication are verbal and nonverbal. Verbal communication is either spoken or written. Verbal communication involves the use of words. Nonverbal communication, on the other hand, does not involve the use of words. Dress, gestures, touching, body language, face and eye behavior, and even silence are forms of nonverbal communication. Remember that even though there are two forms of communication, both the verbal and the nonverbal are inseparable in the total communication process.

Conscious awareness of this fact is extremely important because our effectiveness in many situations is highly dependent upon successful communication. The most powerful mode of communication is the non verbal mode although commonly it is the one most often ignored or neglected and we put the majority of our efforts into what we say forgetting about the far more powerful non verbal channel.Space or Proxemics

People often refer to their need for personal space, which is also an important type of nonverbal communication. The amount of distance we need and the amount of space we perceive as belonging to us is influenced by a number of factors including social norms, situational factors, personality characteristics, and level of familiarity. For example, the amount of personal space needed when having a casual conversation with another person usually varies between 18 inches to four feet. On the other hand, the personal distance needed when speaking to a crowd of people is around 10 to 12 feet.

ProxemicsProxemics is the study of how people use and perceive the physical space around them. The space between the sender and the receiver of a message influences the way the message is interpreted.The perception and use of space varies significantly across cultures and different settings within cultures. Space in nonverbal communication may be divided into four main categories: intimate, social, personal, and public space.(Scott Mclean, 1969) The distance between communicators will also depend on sex, status, and social role.Proxemics was first developed by Edward T Hall during the 1950s and 60s. Hall's studies were inspired by earlier studies of how animals demonstrate territoriality The term territoriality is still used in the study of Proxemics to explain human behavior regarding personal space.

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Studies have identified 4 such territories:

Primary territory: this refers to an area that is associated with someone who has exclusive use of it. For example, a house that others cannot enter without the owners permission.Secondary territory: unlike the previous type, there is no right to occupancy, but people may still feel some degree of ownership of a particular space. For example, someone may sit in the same seat on train every day and feel aggrieved if someone else sits there.Public territory: this refers to an area that is available to all, but only for a set period, such as a parking space or a seat in a library. Although people have only a limited claim over that space, they often exceed that claim. For example, it was found that people take longer to leave a parking space when someone is waiting to take that space.Interaction territory: this is space created by others when they are interacting. For example, when a group is talking to each other on a footpath, others will walk around the group rather than disturb it.

It is important that we are able to ensure that we use our knowledge of space appropriately to ensure that we are engaging effectively with others. Using space can help us communicate levels of importance as well as empathy and understanding.Gestures are often far more powerful than words .They may be articulated with the hands, arms or body, and also include movements of the head, face and eyes, such as winking nodding, or rolling one's eyes. The boundary between language and gesture, or verbal and nonverbal communication, can be hard to identify.Psychologists Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen suggested that gestures could be categorised into five types: emblems, illustrators, affect displays, regulators, and adaptors.Emblems are gestures with direct verbal translations, such as a goodbye wave;Illustrators are gestures that depict what is said verbally, such as turning an imaginary steering wheel while talking about driving;An affect display is a gesture that conveys emotions, like a smile;Regulators are gestures that control interaction; Finally, an adaptor is a gesture that facilitates the release of bodily tension, such as quickly moving one's legGestures can be also be categorised as either speech-independent or speech-related. Speech-independent gestures are dependent upon culturally accepted interpretation and have a direct verbal translation . A wave hello or a peace sign are examples of speech-independent gestures. Speech related gestures are used in parallel with verbal speech; this form of nonverbal communication is used to emphasize the message that is being communicated. Speech related gestures are intended to provide supplemental information to a verbal message such as pointing to an object of discussion.We can use gestures to aid us in our communication but also we should be watching and observing very carefully to seek clues from others as to what they are really communicating, often gestures can give us more understanding than what people are saying. Sometimes gestures will conflict with what is being said usually the gestures are more representative of what is meant or really going on.

As you begin to establish higher levels of rapport, you may start to unconsciously pick-up on the feelings of the other person. Trusting these instincts can sometimes prove to be a challenge for people who are used to working in a structured, logical environment, yet the ability to listen and act upon these instincts can make the difference between a good communicator and a great communicator. If for example, you have created good rapport and start to feel nervous, then chances are so is the other person. Imagine the impact of asking, Im getting a sense that youre feeling nervous about this, what specific concerns do you have? will have.

Using instincts or gut feelings is a good way to sense check and ensure that things are going the way that you want or expect , as human beings we often have powerful instinctive feelings about people or situations we should not be afraid about listening to these feelings and using them where appropriate.

Body Language will often clarify ambiguity or uncertainty often you will notice that people say one thing and their body language says another. We also have to ensure that OUR Body language is appropriate and gives the right signals to those that we are communicating with.

You may have your voice and words under control, but your body language including the tiniest facial expressions and movement can give your true thoughts and feelings away.

Recognize that people communicate on many levels . Become accustomed to watching nonverbal communication and your ability to read it will grow dramatically with practice. If a persons words say one thing and their nonverbal communication says another, you are wont to listen to the nonverbal communication and that is usually the correct decision.Probe nonverbal communication during a meeting or other situation in which you need facts and believable statements. Again, the nonverbal may reveal more than the persons spoken words.

Be aware of non-verbal communication and keep it consistent with your message

One study at UCLA indicated that up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cuesAnother study indicated that the impact of a performance was determined 7 percent by the words used38 percent by voice qualityand 55 percent by the nonverbal communication. So both these studies indicate that Non Verbal communication is the most important factor in helping us form opinions about the value of the communication.

Recognize that people communicate on many levels. Watch their facial expressions, eye contact, posture, hand and feet movements, body movement and placement, and appearance and passage as they walk toward you. Every gesture is communicating something if you listen with your eyes.

Probe nonverbal communication during an investigation or other situation in which you need facts and believable statements. Again, the nonverbal may reveal more than the persons spoken words.

The ability to recognize and interpret nonverbal responses depends upon consistent development of observation skills. Your growth in both knowledge and understanding will contribute to an ability to recognize and interpret many kinds of nonverbal communication. Your sensitivity and competence in listening with your eyes will become as refined as-if not better than-listening with your ears.

Take great care with your eye contact - don't stare or avert your eyes from theirs. Be aware of how often you blink. To prevent a staring gaze, try to blink more often. Also develop a natural gaze not a fixed look. Many people lock onto one eye or a spot on their nose but the trick is to gaze at the persons face. Start looking at one eye, slowly move to the next and then to the mouth in a triangular fashion. This gaze is very welcoming, warm and friendly.

As you listen , move your head backwards an inch or two. This is a non-aggressive gesture and creates a good impression. At the same time tilt your head slightly to one side - not too much - just enough to lower your height by a centimetre. Again this is a non aggressive gesture designed to lower your customer's guard towards you as a person.

Eye contact can be many things depending on how it is used, it can be welcoming, sympathetic, aggressive or dismissive, it is extremely powerful if used wisely.

These little techniques do work - try them.

The final step of the three in assisting you to communicate effectively is what we most often assume communication is about words and speech. Oral communications are more likely to be misinterpreted than written ones so it is important that we use the power of language carefully. Remember the purpose of communication is simply this: to send a message and make sure that it is clear and understood by the receiver.

You need to choose your words carefully so that your message will be clear and understood. In order to do this there are some key things we should be conscious of.Be clear about the purpose of the communication. For example, its purpose could be to inform others, to obtain information or to initiate action. Once you know what the purpose of your communication is then think carefully about the most effective way of achieving this. We often as we enter a dialogue lose sight of the purpose of that dialogue, this is what often causes confusion as we can deviate from the message we want and need to give. Although it sounds simple , do you REALLY know what message you want the person to hear ?Remember our earlier points about how people see things differently-their Map of the World based on experiences and beliefs, if you want to get your message across it is important that you understand how they see things and that your approach does not conflict so much with their views or beliefs that the message is lost. Where sensible and appropriate try to send your message in a manner and way that will resonate best with them, this will give the highest probability of you successfully getting across your message and them understanding and taking any action that is appropriate. So how best can we do this ?

We all have five senses that we use constantly namely, Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Gustatory, and Olfactory. There is a school of thought that says people have a tendency to have a learning and understanding style that they use more often than others. Hence why we hear people are Visual People or Auditory People It is believed by some that if we match the type of language that people tend to use not only does it build rapport but they will retain and learn better.

Hence if we recognise that someone tends to use certain language patterns more often,

Do you see what I mean , That would look lovely (Visual).

I hear what you are saying, That sounds fine to me ( Auditory)

It just doesn't feel right, I cant get a grasp on that ( Kinaesthetic)

We should aim to speak to them in similar language even if it is not how we would normally phrase things, this approach is believed to enhance peoples understanding and retention as it mimics how their own Brain and neurology functions.

Listen to people as they speak to you and see if you can ascertain a pattern to the TYPE of words they use to describe things and try to structure your sentences in a similar fashion.

Often we get caught in a trap when trying to communicate, particularly if the subject area is challenging or difficult or we are nervous of saying too much or being afraid of silence and filling in the gaps. This most often ends up being counterproductive as we end up diluting the message that we want to get across. If you have followed the earlier advice you will know explicitly what you are needing and wanting to say .Once you have communicated this succinctly, then your job is done and you need not say any more, then may be an appropriate time to clarify if the other party has heard and understood what you have said. If not then reiterate what you were trying to get across and check again for understanding, avoid the temptation to start to elaborate or go into greater detail than is necessary to get across what you have previously deemed you wanted to communicate.

Silence is often far more powerful than the spoken word, it can be excruciatingly difficult to say what you need to say and then say no more , but often we need to do this and be prepared to wait for a reaction or response before we can decide what is best to do or say next.

From as far back as records go we are aware that Storytelling has been one of the ways that people have communicated from Socrates and the Bible to modern Films we all relate to stories ,they are a great way of getting across information and facilitating understanding. We all need better ways to persuade, and to share what we know in order help those around us make sense of the world we live in. Developing our innate storytelling skills helps build confidence, convey ideas clearly and effectively, and probably most importantly, present to our colleagues our humanity. We know informally that stories are engaging; we tell them at dinner parties and people listen and they 'get it'.Amazingly stories and scenarios are not something that are commonly used in the workplace or in Business but they have been shown as one of the most effective ways to get across messages. I know we can all remember stories told to us many years ago but if you are like me some of the subjects that you learned at School or University are a different story.

If you are able to get your message across using stories or scenarios they will be more memorable.Metaphors and analogies are extremely useful in getting across information or topics that may at first be difficult for lay people to grasp. They work by comparison so they take something that people can relate to and understand and use it to educate about a topic or subject where there is less or no understanding. Analogies work by allowing us to make connections by giving us similarities from which we can draw comparisons.

MetaphorsWhen English speakers talk about some kind of failure of communication, they might say: Communication broke down. He didn't come across well. The message got lost in the process. It didn't compute. It was like talking to a brick wall. There was no chemistry. AnalogiesHere are tips for using analogies well: Choose analogies that are familiar to your audience. 2. Use an analogy as a springboard. Once it has launched a connection, refer to the analogy only sparingly or to summarize. In the analogy about taking performance snapshots, further comparisons to cameras, photography, etc., would be distracting. 3. Use analogies from your personal experience. Then if a participant or a correspondent takes the analogy further, you can stay with the discussion. 4. Keep analogies short. For complex and difficult subjects Metaphors and Analogies are a very powerful way of helping people understand don't be afraid to use them.Creating an emotional as well as a rational connection is vitally important to ensure optimal communication effectiveness. From our own experiences I am sure we would agree that where we have a positive emotional connection with people we tend to find all aspects of our interaction including communication are better than where there is no or a poor emotional connection

Trust and honesty are important components of emotional connection, and they both relate to communication as well. Real, open communication requires trust. Before you can feel safe telling someone important things about yourself, you'll need to trust them not to share your secrets with anyone else. You'll need to trust them not to use the information against you in some way. Honesty comes into play here, as well. It's hard to trust someone who isn't honest with you.

In order to be effective at communicating we need to be able to establish emotional ties and connections with those we are communicating with, if we cannot establish an emotional connection then we will never be able to communicate as effectively as we would had we established it.

There are numerous studies which address the importance of effective, empathic physician-patient communication. Early research pointed to improved patient compliance, better clinical outcomes and reductions in dissatisfaction and malpractice litigation.

Research shows that communication which uses visual support is more persuasive than those which do not. Visual aids help listeners understand abstract concepts and allow complex data to be organized and reduced to make a point clearly and concisely. Furthermore, effective visual support maintains listener interest and increases retention of the material being presented. This is even more important where subjects may be more complex or outwith the normal understanding of the listener. This is based on a theory called:

Temporal Contiguity Principle It has been shown that presenting corresponding words and pictures close to each other in time, has a beneficial effect on retention and understanding compared to presentation of them separately.The case for integrating words and picturesCognitive theory of multimedia learningSimultaneous presentation increase the chances to hold visual and verbal representations at the same time.Successive presentations require a learner to hold the entire narration in working memory until the animation presented. Predicts thatsimultaneous presentation are better able to understand the explanation. (using transfer test )Simultaneous presentation would perform better on retentionSuccessive presentation are more likely to focus on the wording of the verbal presentationWhere you have something that will help in communicating concepts or complex issues then use props or visuals as well as your understanding of metaphors and analogies to help get across your message.

Questions should be welcomed as they show interest and engagement, if you are asked questions then answer them straightforwardly and succinctly utilising all the previous insights and information we have talked about in this workshop. Once you have answered a question then it is important that you follow up your answer by ensuring you have answered the question to the satisfaction of the person that asked it.Continually as you are communicating and particularly where areas are complex and or important you should be constantly checking understanding as you go along. If you fail to do this then it is highly probable that you will have failed somewhere to get across what you need to and therefore the purpose of your communication i.e. the transmission of meaning to others will have been unsuccessful.

Where there is a requirement on some action from those that your are communicating with this is of even greater importance as you need to know not only do they understand what you have been aiming to get across but do they know what is expected of them ?

Often in situations where there is a perceived or real disparity either in hierarchy or competence between two parties it is difficult for one of the parties to feel confident in interrupting or volunteering they do not feel they fully understand. In this situation take responsibility for checking that there is clear understanding of what has been discussed and any action that needs to happen.

Sadly today we are all steeped in jargon and acronyms that may be familiar to us and our organisation but mean nothing or very different things to others. In complex areas such as medicine and science, commonly accepted and understood terms by qualified people will often mean absolutely nothing to non qualified personnel.

Carefully consider what you are going to say and really check whether (even if it seems obviously simplistic or common terminology to you) the language you are going to use will be universally understood. If you are unsure then look to simplify what you are going to say and use some of the techniques previously discussed to put things across in layman's terms.

It is amazing how even when we think we are not talking in jargon we default to language that is not common outside our own place of work or specialties. Use of technical terminology can sound impressive and make us feel knowledgeable but never forget that the purpose of our communication is the transmission of meaning to others

No matter how much we know and understand about the subject we are discussing communicating effectively is about what we can get across to others not what we know ourselves.

We often use ambiguity to cope with predicaments, difficult situations, and conflict situations. A team member who just gave a fairly bad but somewhat inconsequential presentation, may ask "How did I do? How do you respond? You may say something like: "Probably better than I would have done," or "I've never seen a presentation like it." Such messages may not satisfy the other person, but they assist you in managing a difficult situation and preserving the peace of work relations.

Since our primary purpose in communicating is to get our message across and to have people understand, then it will not be helpful if we allow much ambiguity to creep in to our communication. Difficult as it may be , sometimes to really communicate effectively we must refrain from using ambiguity in order to make our life easier if it leaves the other person confused and lacking in understanding.