2nd Franco-German Forum - Issue 3

13
the one where we change the layout

description

Newspaper of the 2nd Franco-German Forum, Saarbrücken/Strasbourg 2009, editors Neven Caplar & Anna Győry

Transcript of 2nd Franco-German Forum - Issue 3

the one where we change the layout

Dear fellow EYP-er,� A�very�warm�welcome�to�the�first�day�of� the�General�Assembly!�With�this�day�we�have�arrived�at�the�final�and�most�formal�part�of�the�session.�Thus,�you�will�definitely�need�some�advice�on�how�to�look�formal.�Who�else� could� have� a� better� answer� for� you� than� the�unforgettable�Journo�team!��Also,�you�can�have�a�closer�look�at�EMPL�1�and�2�and�JURI.�And�do�not�forget�the�classics�of�the�ONE�and�only�newspaper:�the�dragons�are�still�a�hot�topic�and�how�could�we�forget�the�wonderful�pieces�of�Dr.�Journo?�Last�but�not�least,�you�can�find�tips�for�the�forthcoming�days:�how�to�survive�GA�and�long�walks.

Let� us� also� emphasise� here� that� the� GA� and� the�resolutions�are�much�less�of�importance�and�interest�than�the�ONE�and�only�newspaper.

Your�Editors,��Neven�and�Anna

The weee! People:Caroline�(FRA)

Anja�(NOR)

Elena�(RUS)

Franziska�(GER)

Przemyslaw�(POL)

Terrence(NED)

Anna�(HUN)

What about the journos?

If�you�have�ever�wondered�what�we�are�doing,�now�it�is�high�time�to�find�it�out.

By�Przemek�and�Caroline!

How�to�get�lost�in�Strasbourg?

In�order�to�get�to�the�Main�Train�Station�never�go�on�foot.�Take�two�trams�to�get�there�(but�before�buy�a�ticket�for�1,40€)�what�will�take�you�about�40�minutes.�You�can�of�course�go�on�foot�what�will�take�you�less�than�20�minutes�(and�will�be�free�of�charge)�but�it�will�not�be�funny�anymore�:D

How�to�steal�the�orga�food?

First� of� all� be� hungry!� Then� decide�between� blue� and� red� pack,� but� not�alone,� you� don’t� need� to� take�responsibility!�For� their� reaction,� just�look�at�the�photo!

How� to� interrupt� a� sleepy� committee�during�their�committee�work?

Pretend� that� you� are� taking� some�committee� photos,� and� ask� them� for�news�gossips!�Maybe�this�interruption�will�wake�them�up!

What�is�important�for�the�journo�team?

Crispy�gossips,�having�fun,�and�a�lot�of�food�(especially�cookies)!

How�hard�it�is�to�be�threatened?

It’s� scandalous,� the� journos’� most�important�task�is�to�find�crispy�gossips,�and�take�the�most�juicy�photos!

How�to�lose�the�one�and�only�editor�in�Strasbourg’s�tram?

Give�him�all�the�journos’�tickets�and�let�him�go�inside.�Then�wait�a�moment�as�the�door�will�close�automatically.�He�will�be�unable�to�get�off�the�tram�while�the�journos�will�be�laughing�at�him.�2

HOW TO: Reach a Consensus within 3 Minutes

the EMPL 2 Diaries

by Terrence and Elena

What�happens�if�you�make�a�little�cocktail�of�Czech,�French,�Georgian,�German,� Norwegian,� Romanian,�Russian�and�Ukrainian�ingredients?�That’s�right,�you�get�the�Committee�on�Employment�and�Social�Affairs�2;�meaning� the� best� EMPL,� the�smartest,�the�most�fun,�the�most�authentic,� high�tech,� and�harmonious�one.��But�unfortunately,�not�all�children�in�the�world�get�to�think�about�cocktails,�high�tech�stuff�and�harmony.�And�even�within�the�

EU,�there�are�still�over�eighty�million�children�that�live�under�the�poverty�line.� After� two� days� of� complete�craziness,� Ernestine,� Frida,� Jan,�Larissa,� Lidia,� Marie,� Nini,� Olga,�Svetlana,�and�Ulrich�did�a�noble�job�by� tackling� this� highly� important�issue.�‘Education’,�‘Policy’,�‘Health�Care’,� ‘Violence’.� All� terms� that�EMPL�2�built�upon.�Impressed�I�was�by�several�things.�First,�the�wisdom.�second,�the�participation.�And�last�but� not� least,� the� immeasurable�harmony.��No�chaos,�no�silence.�Only�the�mutual�respect�and�affiliation�with� the� topic.� Apparently,� this�formed� the� foundation� of� an�incredible�superpower�I�had�never�ever�heard�of�before�–�the�ability�of�reaching�a�consensus�within�three�minutes.�This�Committee�just�kept�amazing�me.�EMPL�2���World,�if�not�

Presidential�Class.�What�else�should�we�have�expected�under�the�wings�of�Robert�and�Sashka?

Committee number one is always the firstBy Elena & Anja

� Although� the� smallest�committee�of�the�session,�counting�just�5�delegates�during�teambuilding,�this� committee� will� undoubtedly�make�an� impact�on� you�all.� They�solved�the�Human�Knot�faster�than�any� committee�we’ve� ever� seen!�With� the� arrival� of� two� new�delegates�just�in�time�for�committee�work,�they�looked�even�better.�The�prospects� for� good� working�conditions�seemed�very�well�in�other�words,� until� the� committee� was�designated� to� a� room� with�unbreathable�air.�For�natural�reasons�this� made� the� delegates� more�fatigued,�but�fortunately�they�had�their�chair�Daniel�to�wake�them�up.�They�could�not�even�go�to�the�toilet�anymore.� A� Daniel� said� to� his�

delegates�«So,�we�make...�a�toilet»�instead�of�«We’ll�have�a�pause».

� There�turned�out�to�be�more�advantages�attached�with�being�a�small� committee� than� the� fast�solving� of� Teambuilding�games.�During� committee� work� we�witnessed�the�exceptional�situation�where�every�delegate�participates�in�the�discussions�without�interrupting�each�other.�They�did�nevertheless�encounter�some�problems�when�one�of�the�delegates�couldn’t�open�her�lifesaving�medicine,�but,�as�usual,�the�problem�was�solved�with�some�good,�old�teamwork.�They�are�also�exceptionally� well�synchronized.�Diana�was�experiencing�problems�finding�her�words,�but�her� fellow�delegates�understood�her�perfectly:�«The�working�conditions�were�like...�(a�little�pause)».���«Yes!»���«Yes!»���and�10� times� the� same�way�until�everyone�had�stated�their�agreeing�without� ever� saying� the� whole�sentence.�

We�left�the�committee�when�they� started� phrasing� their� very�corporate�resolution�and�we�strongly�believe�that�EMPL�1�will�impress�you�all�in�GA.�

3

The delegate who went to JURI!by�Franziska�and�Terrence

Nine�delegates�and�one�chair�of�the�2nd�Franco�German�Forum�have�an�extraordinary�privilege:�they�are�part�of�a�special�microcosm,�a�happy�little�world,�a�committee�named�JURI.�To�be�able�to�communicate�with�them�properly� (which� I� highly�recommend!),�the�following�words�and�expressions�will�be�helpful:

Consensus�=�a�general�agreement�or�concord;�harmony

outcomes:� heated� discussions,�reduction� of� nerves,� ARRRGH,�happiness,�a�team

to� have� time� until� 6� p.m.� (Tim�language)�=�to�have�time�until�6:30�p.m.

Streetfighter� =� Firefighter;� game�where�screaming�loudly�is�required�(also:�by�random�persons�screaming�“Ahhh”)

Flirting�in�Italian:�1.�rude:�Sei�proprio�una�fica�(to�say�to�a�girl);�Sei�proprio�uno�fico�(to�say�to�a�boy)�2.�lovely:�

Sei�davvero�bellissima!�(to�say�to�a�girl);�Sei�davvero�bellissimo!�(to�say�to�a�boy)

Rules�of�discussion�=�The�Culture�of�Discussion

Camera,�one�way�=�way�of�creating�memories;�fun;�excitement;�a�toy;�WEEEE!

The� core� issue� =� A� point� of� a�resolution�which�should�be�discussed�in�ten�minutes

European�thingy�=�see�“Motion�for�a�Resolution� by� the� Committee� on�Justice�and�Legal�Affairs”,�November�22nd�2009

Flip�Chart�=�An�evil�large�piece�of�paper� to� decorate� with� post�its,�random�words,�hearts�and�then�tape�on�the�wall�which�will�fall�down�again�and�again…and�again

Entertainment:�1.�Throwing�paper�balls�(in�special�cases�a�big,�red�ball)�at�chair�Tim�2.�Placing�the�left�leg�on�a� chair,� swinging� the� right� leg,�making�up�a�choreography��

JURI�=�J,�U,�R,�I

We’re�the�best,�that’s�right!

These�expressions�gave�you�a�short�glimpse,�a�little�taste�of�JURI.�If�you�want�to�meet�them�(and�I�know�you�do)�look�for�people�who�always�have�a�smile�on�their�faces,�are�up�for�any�fun�and�are�also�intelligent.�Enjoy!

How to survive the GA?By Przemek

� Great�job!�If�you�are�reading�these�words,�it�means�that�you�have�survived�almost�the�whole�session,�and�that’s�definitely�something�to�be�proud�of!�Congrats!!�But�beware:�the�final�battle�is�approaching.�General�Assembly�is�a�time�when�you�have�to�concentrate�and�find�the�power�for�discussions�and�a�logical�thinking.�

� Unfortunately� General�Assembly�is�the�last�part�of�the�

session�and�all�of�us�are�tired�and�powerless.� One� has� to� agree� –�simply�falling�asleep�when�your�new�friend�is�doing�his/her�best�on�the�stage�is�not�the�most�polite�thing.�You�see�we�obviously�used�to�be�delegates�once�so�we�understand�how�hard�is�to�perform�well�during�GA�after�Farewell�Party�and�all�other�unofficial�events.�

� There�are�several�clever�tips,�which� will� prevent� you� from�accompanying�somebody’s�attack�speech�with�snoring.�To�start�with,�you�really�have�to�drink�some�coffee.�If�you�don’t�like�–�I�am�sorry,�there�is�4

HOW TO LOOK EYP-GOOD (AND THUS MAKE NEW FRIENDS)by The superficial Anja & Caroline

� In�what�situation�can�it�be�more�important�to�think�about�your�appearance�than�when�meeting�new�and�unknown�fellow�EYP�ers?�After�all�it�is�the�ugly�truth�that�people�DO�make�their�opinion�about�you�when�they�see�what�you�look�like.�If�you�look� boring� it� is� no� wonder� that�people� will� think� that� you� are� a�boring�person,�therefore�they�will�choose�someone�else�with�a�more�exciting�appearance�as�their�new�EYP�BFF.� In� EYP�we� do� also� have� the�advantage�of�judging�people�after�their�country�of�origin.�However,�this�

can�also�be�very�confusing.�That�is�why� we,� your� lovely� and� well�dressed�journos,�are�here�to�guide�you�through�which�clichés�to�follow�which�ones�to�condemn�and�how�to�stand� out� as� the� most� exciting�person�in�your�committee�without�becoming�”interesting”.�

�� Far�away�from�the�typical�cliché,�we�discovered�that�the�typical�German� style� (red� hair� and� ugly�clothes)�does,�for�the�most�part,�not�apply�to�EYP�ers.�The�typical�Swedish�style�of�piling�on�as�much�as�possible�in�true�Eskimo�spirit�is�not�respected�in� EYP� as� shown� by� the� Swedish�delegates.� The� Russians� did� also�surprise�us�by�not�being� typically�trashy� (the� journo� team� imagine�Russian�girls�as�wearing�a�big�fur�vest�and�nothing�else),�and�did� in�fact�show� surprisingly� much� sense� of�style.�

� The� big� disappointment�fashion� wise� was� Italy.� We� had�imagined� these� delegates� to� be�refreshingly�à�jour�when�it�comes�to�fashion�and�fabulously�well�dressed,�but�as�it�turned�out�they�(apparently)�did� not� care� much� about� their�clothes.�It�doesn’t�show�anyway.�The�only�delegation�which�respects�the�cliché�(thank�you!!)�are�the�French�one,�where�all�the�delegates�are�just�as� classically�well� dressed�as�one�would�expect.�

�� � All�in�all�we�strongly�encourage� all� the� delegates� to�remember�that�their�clothing�IS�their�appearance� and� such� as,� it� is� an�

extension�of�your�personality.�It�is�by�all�means�better�to�wear�too�special�clothes� than� clothes� that� could�belong�to�a�mathematics�teacher.�However,�be�careful�not�to�end�up�as�“special”�and�“interesting”,�as�that�tends�to�scare�people�away�more�than� give� you� new� and� fabulous�friends.�And�always�remember�that�the�most�important�is�what�is�on�the�outside,�not�on�the�inside!�

no�other�option�–�drink�it�anyway.�It�is� better�NOT� to�wear�warm�and�comfortable�clothes.��It�is�harder�to�fall�asleep�when�you�feel�cold�also,�you�better�keep�yourself�busy�with�something:�draw,�write�poems�or�do�some�origami.�Remember,�not�to�stare�at�one�point�for�too�long!!!!��If�these�methods�fail�(the�party�was�just�too�good),�the�only�thing�left�for�you�to�do�is�to�pretend�to�be�awake.

�Use�various�positions:

�� Reading� (cover� your� face�with�booklet)

�� Thinking�(right�hand�on�your�forehead,� covering� your�eyes)

�� Dropping� your� pen� (bent�over,�head�between�your�knees)����������������Good�luck!�

5

Viva la Rock under Sleeping Hypnosis

ATTENTION!

Please, pop-music-listeners and rock-haters are highly recommended not to read this article!

By�Elena

� It�took�us�more�than�3�hours�to�get� to�Strasbourg!�The�whole�bus�was� sleeping,� probably� because�wake�up�call�was�at�6�o’clock.�There�was�only�one�voice�in�the�2nd�bus�that�disturbed� slightly� � our� together�sleeping�time� and� could� have� been�heard�everywhere.�At�that�moment�I�we�felt�it�was�just�tooooo�loud�(even�louder�than�a�well�performed�journo�WEEEE!).�

� But� we� should� be� more�thankful,� since� during� this� travel�we�learned� a� lot� about� the� history� of�music.� The� short� theoretical� course�was� almost� as� useful� as� the� 3�year�long�bachelor�studies�in�the�field!

The�contents�of�the�«bus»�lesson:

�� Guitarre�is�the�best�friend�of�the�human�being

�� The� king� of� the� black� metal� is�«Black� Sabbath».�Why?� Because�of�colour�and�because�it�is�freaky:)

�� The� British� rock� music� is� blue.�Why?�I�don`t�know,�I�didn`t�hear�the�end�of�the�speech�:D

�� Being� a� musician� is� the� most�beautiful�profession�in�the�world!�And�being�a�freaky�musician�is�the�most�desired�state�of�mankind.

So,� if� you� have� perceived� all� this� go�and� collect� your� bachelor�certificate� from� a� certain� fellow�Latvian�delegate!

Ask Dr JournoBy�Franziska

„My�chair�keeps�the�Session�Paper�away� from�me� until� the� end� of�Committee�Work�–�how�do�I�survive�this�tough�time?“��

WEEE!

“Dear�WEEE,�you�have�become�the�victim� of� a� severe� Human� Rights�violation.�Firstly,�get�a�good�lawyer.�The�future�stars�of�the�Courts�at�this�session�are:�Chair�Daniel�and�Journos�Terrence�and�Caroline.�Together�with�them,�sue�your�chair�at�the�Court�of�Human�Rights�in�Den�Haag.�Ask�your�Committee� to� support� you� by�organizing�peaceful�demonstrations,�hunger�strikes�and�writing�letters�to�Mister�Barroso.�Read�the�resolution�by�the�Committee�on�JURI,�as�their�topic� is� freedom�of� the�press.�Of�course,� the� journo�team�will�play�

their� part� by� starting� trashy�campaigns�against�your�chair.�

With�those�measures�at�hand,�I�am�sure�you�will�succeed.�I�wish�you�the�best�of�luck�and�lots�of�fun�with�the�remaining�issues!”

“I�saw�an�East�German�organizer�in�pink� panties� and� am� deeply�disturbed�by�it!�How�can�I�get�over�this?”

PinkFlashed

“Dear�Flashed,�the�only�way�for�you�to�leave�this�experience�behind�you�once�and� for�all� is�a�step�by�step�approach.�It�will�be�quiet�a�tough�road�to�go,�but�be�strong!

Scientifically,�most�examples�of�the�mentioned� species� (Martinicus�Hoffmanntilitis� errectus)� have�already�evolved�into�the�species�of�shining� presidents� (Sashkus�Mazuricus�superius).�In�your�head,�you� need� to� be� aware� of� this�development.�This�way,�on�a�brighter�day,�you�will�see�shining�presidents�instead�of�the�shocking�image�you�have�in�mind.�

In�the�future,�when�thinking�about�Martinicus,�follow�the�evolvement�into�Timüs�Löcktüß.�This�species�can�be�found�chairing�homi�errecti,�its�fur�is�of�brighter�colour�and�it�mainly�consumes�apple�products.�

7

When�you�have�succeeded�and�from�now� on� see� Timüs� instead� of�Martinicus,�move� on� to� the� next�stage�of�evolvement.�Felicitus�Kräss�is�an�intelligently�thinking�being,�it�has�the�ability�to�communicate,�read�

and�write.�In�professional�circles,�we�generally�call�this�species�a�delegate.�

Now,�do�not�let�your�brain�activity�give� up� work.� You� have� almost�reached�complete�evolution.�When�having� to� think� about� Felicitus,�

instead�imagine�Sashkus.�Sashkus�is�a�lovely� female� being.� It� has� total�power�over�words,�is�charming�and�completely� enlightened.� Leading�inferior�beings�to�enlightenment�and�brightening� their�grey� lives� is�her�main�purpose�in�life�–�also�yours!”�

Dragons – The Pollby�Terrence

Now�that�the�session�has�moved�from�Saarbrücken�to�Strasbourg,�the�fascination�has�grown�to�immeasurable�size.�This�poll�shows�some�more�random�facts�about�the�relationship�between�delegates�and�dragons:

YES Statement NO

76% I�admire�Dragons 24%

61% I’m�scared�of�Dragons 39%

9% I�dreamed�about�Dragons�last�night 91%

94% I�want�to�be�friends�with�a�Dragon 6%

25% Are�Dragons�vegetarians?� 75%

16% Dragons�hold�back�the�fire�when�they�kiss

84%

5% I�once�dressed�up�as�a�dragon 95%

81% I�think�McDonalds�should�sell�McDragon 19%

56% Dragons�eat�People 44%

98% Crina�is�a�Dragon 2%

EMPLOYMENTNIGHT OUTBy Terrence

The�people� of� Employment�and� Social� Affairs� surely�showed�they�knew�how�to�be�social� tonight!� After� having�seen�the�most�Romantic�part�of�Strasbourg,�namely�Petite�France,�they�ran�into�a�boat,�The� Raviot,� and� enjoyed� a�immeasurably�satisfying�night�at�the�basement,�which�(after�some�sweet�negotiation�'We�are� the� EUROPEAN� YOUTH�PARLIAMENT�HELLO!')�was�of�course�turned�into�a�private�lounge�especially�for�the�cool�people�of�EMPL�1�and�2.

8

Nickname Your Officials

In EYP, you meet a lot of new people. Although you will probably remember most of them, it’s a different case with their names. Therefore, and only therefore of course, we asked our lovely delegates to share with us how they would characterise some of our officials by giving them nicknames. The results:

ALEX (HEAD ORGANISER) – OBAMA – ALELE – HABIBI

– Vonder Voman – The Golden Banana Peeler

SASHKA (PRESIDENT) – Harry Potter – PimP – Carrot Girl

;) – The Sweet Wizard/The Sweat Wizard – The Carrot

Top – Sachka-Kozachka

DAMIEN (VICE PRESIDENT + CHAIR) – Daminouuuu

– Equilles-boy – Ze Tipikal French – Mr Sausage

TIM (VICE PRESIDENT + CHAIR) – EYP-Office Girl – The

Fixer – Let’s do Tim-building – Blondesgonewild.com

– Let’s gather all the Tim! – Timmeeeeeh

MARTIN (ORGANISER) – DURAK – “The Appearance”

– Sashka’s Personal Bitch – “(Fetch) The Hoffmann”

– Fashionista – ‘Unique’. ;)

KERSTIN E. (ORGANISER) – Eckkart – “E” – Kirsty

TERRENCE (JOURNALIST) – Merryterry – T-Rex – Mr. T

– T-dom – T-dog – T-bone – T-Man – Mr. Virtuose :)

DANIEL (CHAIR) – Oh my God! – Dan Huan – dancing

pschiii… Daniel – D (dii) – FamousD

ROSHAN (CHAIR) – Brittie – Russian – Cookies! – Googly

Eyes – Sexy Thing – Flädersaft Strypa-en-neger – Tlaflin-

ger – please-accept-me-C-bridge.co.uk

FRANZISKA(JOURNALIST) – Fransi – Burschi – “It’s such

a pity we can’t heat up anything”

ROBERT (CHAIR) – Red Beard – Hermann

ANJA (JOURNALIST) – Nanny – sexynorwegian19yo@

relationsnow.uz

By Terrence

10