Meaningful Memorialization

By Cathy Nichols and Julie Graf Skinner

Bears, Bars and Bones

Balloons, Bubbles, Bracelets and

Butterflies

Coloring Books and Crayons

Popular Music

Amazing Grace…How Sweet The

Sound

Personalized Music

Flower Seeds and Bulbs

Running Shoes

Bicycles

Military and Religious Honors

Significance of Children Participating in Ritual or Ceremony

• Involved o Provides

acknowledgment of the child’s loss

o Replaces fearful images with positive memories

o Creates a bond between the all loved ones

o Provides appropriate opportunity to ask questions

o Promotes appropriate coping skills

• Not involvedo Creates fearful images

and misunderstandingo Eliminates the

opportunity to ask questions

o Promotes disenfranchised grief

o Ignores connection to the legacy of the loved one

o Denies development of positive coping skills

Characteristics of Rituals of Loss

• Acknowledge and Respect what has been taken away

• Honor what has gone, acknowledge the grief and provide comfort

• Bring stability and help find ways to compensate, substitute and cope

• Reaffirm the future and meaning of life

Memorialization

• Celebrate a Legacy• Honor Beliefs• Allow Participation • Reclaim former experiences that mark joyous times

Process of Creating a Meaningful Memorial

• Family/Group meeting - healing begins• Designing a service- honoring beliefs- incorporating family and friends• Conducting the Celebration

Ways to Celebrate Many Lives

• Legacy Book• Honoring Event• Remembrance Service

o Near a Holidayo Agency Anniversary

• Permanent Memorial

Legacy Book

• Dedicate a page to eachmember of your group• Allow family members or other residents

the opportunity submit information• Include a photo and story of each person• Keep the book in a public/central location

Honoring Events• Plan an event that incorporates

participation for a group of peerso Examples a. A meal that honors the deceased b. Concert commemorating favorite music c. Outing or Fundraiser d. Personalized Candle Service

Remembrance Service

• Candles• DVD Tribute• Luminaries• Sky Lanterns• Fireworks• Butterfly or Balloon Release• Favors that represent the person• Teddy Bear Ceremony• Memory Table/Photo Board

Permanent Memorial• Walkway of Engraved Pavers• Aquarium or Aviary• Photo Wall• Memory Garden• Tree Planting• Naming Rooms or Fixtures • Library Gifts• Establishing a legacy fund

What has worked for you?

Personally and Professionally

Preparations for “Your Story”

Personal Expressions Planning guideRecord Vital StatisticsPersonal PreferencesFuneral InstructionsBurial/Cremation detailsFamily HistoryContact Information

Next Steps

•How do you wish to be remembered?