WORKING WITH VICTIMS

Crisis InterventionAdvocacy Skills

Interviewing Techniques & Problem Solving

Order of Protection Form

Definition of a Crisis: -A state of crisis occurs when a person has been confronted by a serious situation and her previous methods of problem solving prove unsuccessful. 1. The crisis is not the situation itself, but the individual's response to the situation. 2. Crisis implies an emergency or serious situation. The seriousness of the crisis depends upon:

A) The individual's life style and personal style--her way of dealing with things, which is unique. B) The quality and nature of previous situations the person has had to deal with in the past. C) The amount of support given to the person. D) The person's ability to respond to the crisis without falling apart.

There are at least two types of crisis:

1. A developmental crisis, which can be expected in the normal movement of life. These types of crises can be predicted; they are often unchangeable but can be made less traumatic; and they often bring on maturity and growth. 2. An incidental crisis; which is brought on by events which occur within a person's lifetime. These are often brought about by circumstances external to the individual; and most intervention takes place in this type of crisis situation

Crisis InterventionFocuses on an individual’s feelings and thought processes while they are in crisis-Is problem oriented by helping the individual direct her energy toward working through the crisis situation.-helps an individual restore or maintain her normal level of functioning by:

1. Clarifying the crisis situation2. Mobilizing personal support systems3. Establishing new problem solving techniques

The goals of Crisis Intervention are to:

-restore a person's ability to function with life situations. -mobilize an individual's strengths to deal with the crisis, by emphasizing the person's ability to work through her problems. -create a trusting environment so that the person can work through her crisis, by promoting objectivity through discussion, which helps the person test possible solutions before using them. Role play is one way of doing this. -re-establish a person's control over her own life.

GENERAL ADVOCACY SKILLS I. Caring, Unconditional Positive Regard! This goes beyond rapport - it offers another person your trust, love, and non-judgmental evaluation of them being capable and loving. It shows itself in your acceptance of the other person and understanding.

II. Empathy not SympathyThis is not "feeling sorry" for another person; it is putting yourself in their shoes and understanding what it must feel like if you haven't had first-hand experience in what the person is experiencing.

AwarenessIt is important to be aware of not only what

the other person is telling you or what they are showing in the way of overt behavior, but what is not being said as well. Often times, the most important thing is what is not being mentioned – for instance, what the person is feeling, not just what is happening.

Another important thing to remember is the awareness of your own internal experiences. Being aware of your own feelings in relation with what is being said or done. It is often valuable to share this with the person you are counseling if it doesn’t get in the way of what is being worked through.

TrustTrust takes time to develop with another person, especially if they have just been through a hard time. The best you can do is to allow the time and offer yourself as honestly as you can. Sometimes a light touch or smile can do worlds of good. Offering your help is a way of trust-building or just saying that you know how hard it must be to trust anyone can help.

Valuing or Affirmation This is an important part of building a relationship with another person. It means having esteem for yourself and the other person. It means you have a right to be who you are and allow the other person the same right. It allows a mutual respect from one person to the other. It also leaves room for differences in opinions, moral judgments, lifestyles, and belief systems.

TransparencyIt is important for the person who you are counseling to know that you are human and make mistakes. It helps others to know that they are not alone. Sharing personal information is one way to get it across.

Aside from the standard methods of active listening, empathizing, reflecting feelings, rephrasing, summarizing, clarifying, and

prioritizing that an advocate would use, the list that follows are skills that are particularly

important and effective with victims. BELIEVE HER AND BELIEVE IN HER

her husband has encouraged her to think she is crazy and at fault -battering men often have a tendency to appear (to everyone except their spouses) as kind and considerate. The wife is frequently questioned or not believed when she tells people about her husband's violent behavior toward her. He has convinced family and relatives that he is nothing but the supportive person whom they see.

APPROACH HER ON A PEER LEVEL

-by dealing with her as an equal, you show her that you accept her as a competent person. This in itself is healing.

SHOW HER THE "PROFILE OF MEN WHO BATTER"

-this affirms the fact that her situation is real and common--and that she is not alone! -This validates her experiences and helps her realize that the problem is external to herself.

ENCOURAGE HER TO WORK THROUGH HER ANGER

-many women feel that they are not "supposed" to be angry and that it is a sign of a lack of femininity. -you may want to say "That would make me mad!" This helps her to own and express her anger so that she doesn't displace it as frustration or depression. -show your own emotions (within control, of course); this is a way of sharing with her an alternative reality--it's not okay to be hit!

EXPLAIN THE "CONTRITION" OR "MAKE-UP" PHASE IN THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

-if she has left him before, ask her to recount the past contrition stage and how it occurred. This will make her aware of what to watch for so that she can better gauge sincerity, permanence, change, etc. -role play with her to help her prepare a response to his pleas and apologies.

ENCOURAGE HER TO FANTISIZE ABOUT WHAT SHE WANTS TO BE HAPPY

-she may hesitate to indulge in the "luxury" of self-determination or wanting creature comforts. -by helping her discover what she wants, you can help her define a more autonomous life.

ENCOURAGE HER TO DEVELOP A SUPPORT NETWORK

-only when she feels support can she end the dependency she feels for her mate. -make her aware and cautious of immediately entering into another intimate relationship. It is common for a woman in a vulnerable state to begin another relationship; this often fails, leaving her depressed and deflated again.

ASSERT THE IMPORTANCE OF HER SAFETY -without stressing divorce or showing judgment of her decision to return to a battering situation, emphasize a concern for her safety; this may help bring her into contact with the reality that she is

IF SHE PLANS TO RETURN TO HIM, HELP FORMUALTE "CONDITIONS FOR RETURN"

-help her again a feeling of power and control. This is done by encouraging her to state conditions under which she will agree to return. -he may be in the contrition phase and therefore she is in a good position for "bargaining." rehearse (role-play) with her the means whereby she will communicate to him the fact that she is a different person--that she ahs learned from the episode and has changed accordingly. This statement alone can interrupt the resumption of the Cycle of Abuse: both she and her partner will have heard her words and her commitment not to tolerate further abuse.

ASSESSING A VICTIMS READINESS FOR CHANGE

If a woman is not ready to change then there is nothing a counselor can say or do to get her to

make that break from her husband. Understanding the phases a woman goes

through in approaching readiness to change will help a counselor prevent burn-out or frustration in assisting a woman to end a

violent relationship. HAS THE WOMAN LEFT HIM BEFORE?

-if she hasn't left him before, or she has left 15 times and has always gone back willingly, it is likely she will go back again. -the probability of a woman leaving her partner permanelntly is highest if she has left him between 2 and 5 times previously.

WHAT PLANNING HAS SHE DONE? -if she has little notion of what to do next, it is likely she is not ready to leave the relationship -if she expresses some options then it is more possible that she is ready for change.

UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANACES DID SHE LEAVE?

-if she left in a crlS1S, she is not likely to remain away. -if she carefully planned her exit she may be ready to make it permanent.

HOW DOES SHE FEEL ABOUT HER CHILDREN AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS TO THEIR FATHER?

-if she believes that the children need a father, she is probably not willing to remove them and herself from the relationship. -if you introduce the idea of separation as a means of protecting the children from direct or observed violence, this may motivate her to consider change.

HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN IN THIS BATTERING RELATIONSHIP?

-she may not be ready to leave her partner if the relationship has been short and she feels he hasn't given a good chance to change. -similarly, if they have been together a long time, she may feel so entreched in the bond that she is insecure about the idea of separation.

HAS SHE REALIZED SHE MAY BE IN PHYSICAL DANGER?

-this is tricky because seh may be in d~nger if she leaves him (and he told her so).

ARE HER FEELINGS FOR HIM INTACT? -often anger or "mad talk" is a sign of passion and -consequently attachment. You will have to learn to distinguish this from constructive enthusiam to change.

WHAT DOES HER RELIGION TELL HER TO DO?

-if she adheres to the ideological frame work of a religion that discourages her separation, she may not follow her own gut feelings to leave.

HAS SHE BECOME INTERESTED IN ANOTHER MAN?

-If she has another man "on the line", this may be a sidestep rather than a passage into the phase of permanent separation. Make her aware of the fact that she may not be learning new interactive skills or developing inner strength by diving into a new relationship.

HOW CLOSELY DOES SHE FIT THE BATTERED PERSONALITY PROFILE?

-if she is still accepting guilt, feeling powerless, and feeling low self esteem, then she is probably not feeling the strength to make the break.

HAS SHE EXPERIENCED THE "CLICK" OF SELF-RECOGINTION?

-when she "clicks" that she is ready for a change, she has begun to over-come guilt and feelings of responsibility for his behavior.

When providing crisis counseling it is important to remember that your first

task is to respond to immediate needs. Later there will be time to make more

concrete plans and help a client select a strategy for solving her living

situation.

PROBLEM SOLVINGGathering information- Get the facts, understand the problem, get an idea what her values are Prioritize- Define the problems, one at a time List options and opportunities- Let her know that there are choices. Explore/discuss services available. Look at options- The pro's and con's of each Let her select the best option for her List all the steps she needs to take for the change to occur Prioritize dates, times- Put the steps in order. Help her outline a "game plan" Verbal Agreement- Follow up ... Is the solution solving the stated problem?

REMEMBER, A SKILLED ADVOCATE:

Paraphrases, which means not just parroting but using effective words to capture the essence of what was said to elicit a continuing response. Reflects feelings back to the client and lets her know that she accepts all the client's feelings; picks up and responds to unstated and stated feelings; identifies feelings accurately. Listens to voice tones; listens for and responds to emotional cues, hesitations, pauses, contradictions in voice patterns. Checks out interpretations, not assuming what is heard is what was meant. Owns and shares feelings and interpretations through the use of "I" statements (i.e., I think this because ...• I feel ..., I want ...); identifies herself as the sender of the message. Makes non-evaluative responses. Leaves the conversation open rather than interrogating or pushing. Responsibly confronts and gives feedback through being able to point out apparent contradictions between values and behavior, self-defeating behavior, and misinterpretations of reality.

Says what she thinks, feels, and wants and owns thoughts, feelings and intentions without putting them on the client (e.g. . . • "You make me angry"). When (and only when) appropriate, relates own experiences and feelings briefly and comfortably, in a way that makes it easier for the client to talk about herself and that places emphasis on the client's experience, feelings, and needs. Asks open questions ("how" or "what." not "who" or "did"); doesn't structure questions to her own ends (e.g., focusing on one rape victim's background of incest only because the advocate has been an incest victim or knows a lot about incest) but rather places the emphasis on the client; asks questions in a gentle, supportive manner. Recognizes the power aspect of the counseling relationship and uses it wisely and constructively. Explores alternatives that seem realistic or appropriate; asks about resources and support systems available to the client and helps the client use these in formulating a specific plan of action. Waits until she has sufficient information and has dealt with the client's feelings before giving feedback and doing problem solving.

Expresses to the client that maybe she can be of help, but ultimately expects the client to take responsibility for solving her own problems; when appropriate, confronts the client with issues she may not want to face, in a caring way, but does not push confrontation to the very extreme if the client is very resistant. Is spontaneous and flexible, able to change direction and flow with the conversation. Speaks in a language the client can understand, and tries to use some of the client's own terms in a way that facilitates conversation. When appropriate, asks questions to determine whether a problem is chronic or is a reaction to a specific recent event. Searches for the most appropriate referrals and gives them to the client after the counseling process is complete or nearly so.

Is open to receiving feedback and looking at personal issues that may interfere with her advocacy work; is willing to change and grow. Is knowledgeable of and adheres to policies and procedures. Clearly understands what is and is not included in an advocate's role. Is very responsible, fills out forms completely and on time

REMINDERS FOR CRISIS COUNSELORSRelax. Go slow!Validate her feelings. Allow productive silence. Pay attention to non-verbal cues; give feed-back about them to her. Communicate your hunches to her. Take deep breaths together. Ask "What would have to happen to change the situation?" "What have you done before that has worked?" Explore options. Access resources.

Avoid the rescue triangle.You are not expected to be her therapist. Your role is to be supportive, listen, and

help her to identify her issues and options.

INTAKE PROCEDURES FOR NEW CLIENTS

When a client comes into the office for an appointment, a certain procedure should be followed:

First, the incident should be reviewed. Reflect on what is bringing her in for support. The timing is important. Find out what just happened, and how this particular event was interpreted by the woman. Don't let the woman minimize the violence. In many instances, you will get a woman who blames herself for the incident or who says, "It really wasn't that bad." Help the woman face the reality of the incident. Assure her that whatever may have caused him to be angry; he does not have the right to hit her. If she begins to minimize that actual incident, help her look at this incident realistically. Show her the violence continuum and point out how far along/how lethal her situation has been. Find out how long the problem has existed, if anyone else is affected by it, where it happens, and how it has affected the woman's life.

Second, in some cases the client does not know what our program has to offer. In these cases, it may be helpful to explain our services. It is beneficial to assure the woman that we will offer alternatives, and give her support in the decision she makes. Assure her we will not tell her what to do. Explain our advocacy services help with: filling out a protective order, finding a lawyer, going through legal procedures, and getting welfare assistance. Don't do more than half of the work. Make sure the woman does the majority of the contacts. You are only along to offer support and suggestions, not to do all of the work!

A quick explanation of our philosophy may also be helpful. This may include the idea that no person ever deserves physical or psychological abuse.

Another factor that may be mentioned at this time may be the issue of confidentiality. Many victims hold a great fear of being found out. They feel they'd be killed if the abuser knew the things the victim was revealing. Be sure to stress that everything you and the client talk about is confidential; that it will not leave this office.

Third, ask the client what her expectations from the DV program are. Keep in mind that everyone has some type of expectations. The woman may say "I have no expectations." I would then confront her by asking her what she hopes to gain--that she must have some reason why she decided to come for support and some idea about what she feels it may help her with. If a woman's expectations fall into the unrealistic, do not lead her to believe that these things can be accomplished. Clarify what can and cannot be done.

An example of an unrealistic expectation is if a woman expresses, "I have come to counseling to learn how to get him to stop abusing me." Do not lead her to believe this can be accomplished. Explain to her that she cannot stop him from abusing her; that this is something he has to realize is a problem and that SHE wants to put an end to.

In some cases a woman may be ambivalent as to what she really wants. This usually is dealing with the decision to leave or stay in her present relationship.

In this case, the Fourth step you may take is to clarify the woman's needs and wants for her relationship. This may be done through a listing procedure. Ask her to list everything that would fill her needs in this relationship, and then to list everything she gets out of the relationship. This may enable the woman to look at her situation realistically, which in turn, may help her decide what type of goals she would like to set up, or if she even wants our services at all. The Fifth step, the setting of goals, is very important. The goals set the direction for continuing sessions. Goals can fall under many areas. A few examples may be: To work on raising my independence. To raise my self-esteem. To find out why I can't leave this relationship-to leave it To put myself before anything else.

If a woman does have a number a various goals, I have found working on one at a time is the best process. Take one step at a time. Usually one step leads to the next. First, if a woman works on raising her independence and achieves some, this usually will help to increase her self-esteem and so-on. Inform the woman that you understand this is not an easy process. Tell her it will take time and some days will be better than others. Assure her that there is a means to a solution. This may be expressed by using the analogy of "down the road when things are different/better/changed, you'll be in a different/better place."

Goals that do not seem possible or that our services may not be able to provide should be identified. Once again, this may be seen in a situation where the woman wishes that her husband would stop beating her and this is a goal she would like to set. You should be straightforward and explain that he is the only one who can help himself and only if he realizes he has a problem. Goals are to be set up for her and should be things that are possible for her to achieve. Never lead a woman to believe that the impossible can be achieved.

At the end of the intake session, a summary of what occurred in the session is helpful. A brief review of the directions the session took is always helpful. This may be the time to offer individual support sessions and develop a plan for it.

If you feel it necessary, some homework assignments may be utilized, such as "Do one thing just for yourself this week." One woman may say, "I'm going to put the kids in day-care for a day." and another may say, "I'll go for a walk every day this week." Or, just have the woman think about her different hopes and fears.

Advocating for a Rape VictimUnder normal circumstances, many people, especially women, find it difficult to assert themselves in the face of authority figures and institutional systems with which they are wholly or partially unfamiliar. Rape victims must often cope with two of these systems: medicine and law. The difficulty of doing so may be compounded by the rape victim's emotional condition and by the attitudes sometimes demonstrated toward rape victims by medical, police, and judicial personnel. In most instances the rape victim has no experience and no models to guide her in how to react to the trauma of rape. She is therefore likely to doubt the validity or the acceptability of her emotional reactions, and this self-doubt will add to her anxiety and the undermining of her self-esteem. It is in this highly vulnerable situation that she will be confronted by an authority figure who may have ideas and attitudes shared by many people in this culture, including the idea that rape is something a victim brings on herself. Medical and police personnel may also have a ready-made agenda for the victim (she must or must not report to the police, must stop hitchhiking, etc.). In addition, they may express certainty (in words or in subtle ways) that it is appropriate for the victim to react in a particular way. Disapproval may be shown if the victim is "too angry," "too hysterical," or even "too calm."

IF POSSIBLE, BEFORE YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF AND THE VICTIM WITH THE DOCTOR, POLICE, OR PROSECUTING ATTORNEY:

Give the victim an opportunity to express her feelings and try to get an idea of what her values are. Support the victim in believing in her own value system throughout the time she will be confronted by others, with their own value systems.

Get as clear an idea as possible of what the victim would like you to do for her. You need to know what her needs and wants are so that you can help her get what she wants--not necessarily what you think she should want. Tell her you will not speak for her unless she lets you know she definitely wants you to. You will be helping her do what she wants, not taking over for her.

Keep in mind that your main job is to lend support and to help her express her own needs and wishes. Only in very rare instances will you have occasion to directly and tactfully confront a person who is interacting with her, and then you will need to evaluate carefully whether your intervention will make the situation better or worse for the victim.

BEFORE YOU SEE THE VICTIM:

When you are making telephone arrangements to accompany a victim through a medical examination, be sure to remind her not to wash, douche, or otherwise destroy evidence if there is any chance at all that she might later decide T report to the police and/or to prosecute. You should also mention, if she is reporting, that the police will want to keep some items of her clothing for a time for evidence, and, if possible, she should bring another set of clothing to put on after the medical exam. If you are going to meet a victim, write down her address and read it back to her. Ask for directions. Under no circumstances should you go alone to a victim's home. Tell her you will come to the house only with police, and offer to call the police if she is reluctant to do so. If she does not want the police involved, arrange to meet at a public place away from the scene of the assault (e.g. at the hospital). Before you hang up, ask for her telephone number, write it down, and repeat it back to her. Describe yourself, so she will recognize you. Before you leave home or office be sure you have your training manual and, if necessary, a city map. It may be embarrassing to admit your uncertainty and look up some information, but it is much better to do that than to make a smooth cover-up of your ignorance. There is a great deal of information to absorb on this job, and it is easy to forget details until you begin using them in your work. If you main concern is your own possible inadequacy, you may cover up your ignorance at the cost of giving misinformation or of omitting entire subjects that you feel insecure about.

REPORTING TO THE POLICE

Give the rape victim time to introduce herself and you to the police officer. At the earliest opportunity, give the police officer your name and say that you are from Hi-Line’s Help for Abused Spouses. If he/she looks puzzled, explain that we provide support to rape victims while they go through medical and police procedures. Try to get her/his name by asking in a non-threatening way, e.g., "May I have your name?" or "Would you tell me your name?" (not "What are your name and badge number?"). It may be easier for the victim to recall details (especially of the rapist's appearance and the things he said) more accurately soon after the rape than two or three days later. Relating the events at this point may also be a catharsis, helpful in reducing feelings of guilt, anger, and fear. However, if the victim is extremely disturbed and confused, her story may be very jumbled, contain contradictions, and differ in details from the story she tells a few days later. (Those details may be very unimportant but may prejudice her case.) This problem may be worse if she has taken any drug or had several drinks. If the victim is feeling guilty or very embarrassed at having to relate the rapist's sexual behavior, or if she is tearful, it will be quite painful and humiliating to have to give a lengthy report. It will be less so a few days later when she is more in control.

If the woman is very distressed or reluctant to talk about the rape, encourage her to tell the police officer that she would like to answer just the few essential questions that are absolutely necessary and that she will be better able to answer in more detail in a couple of days when she is more calm. If that is clearly what she wants, but she is unable to say so herself, you can say so for her.

ATTITUDES OF POLICE OFFICERS

Police who are well educated about rape are generally reasonable and considerate of rape victims, and your presence will help insure this kind of treatment. Some officers may have more of a problem with victim who is hysterical, drunk, or hostile, and in those cases, it would be a good idea to get the victim to sober up and/or be in fairly good control before reporting. Sometimes the officer will sound unnecessarily brusque, unsympathetic, or skeptical because it is the end of a long, wearing shift, or because he or she is embarrassed by tape and has never interviewed a rape victim before. He or she also may not realize that some legally necessary questions will sound accusatory when the woman does not know why they are being asked. Ideally, the police officer will explain the necessity of asking certain questions, but often that does not happen. Preparing the woman for the questions beforehand may help. For instance, somewhere along the line, the victim may be asked when she last had intercourse. If medical personnel find traces of semen, they may legitimately need to determine whether it is the rapist's or someone else's. Some police officers may ask whether the rapist ejaculated.

Remember to get a clear sense of what the victim needs, wants, and would like you to do for her. Prepare and support the rape victim so that she can be as assertive as possible, give her opportunities to state her needs and wishes to the person questioning her, and speak for her only when it is essential to her well-being. If the police officer asks questions that seem unreasonable and you sense the victim's discomfort in answering, you can say to her, "Would it help you in answering if you knew why the question is being asked?" If she says yes and the police officer fails to respond with an explanation, you may then say quietly to him or her, "It would make it much easier to answer if you explained to Sarah the reason for the question."

ORDERS OF PROTECTION

You may need to help a victim apply for a temporary Order of Protection. It is important to familiarize yourself with

the definitions and the petition to better assist the victim.

The next page contains the “How to obtain an Order of Protection

information page.

You are about to ask for a Temporary Order of Protection as a victim of abuse. This sheet has information to guide you through the legal process and answer some of the questions you may have.

You are the PETITIONER. The Petitioner is the person alleging abuse and asking for protection. The RESPONDENT is the person you are asking the court to protect you from. A Temporary Order of Protection is an order, signed by a judge, which restricts or prohibits the Respondent from contacting you. Generally, a Temporary Order of Protection is good for 20 days.

If you are a minor, your parent, guardian, or other representative may file a petition for a Temporary Order of Protection on your behalf against the Respondent.

You have the right to appear in court on your own to request a Temporary Order of Protection. However, the following resources are available in your community to help you through this process: _____________________________

______________________________________________________________________

When signed by a Judge, a Temporary Order of Protection is valid immediately. After the judge signs the Order, these are the next steps:

• Your Petition and a copy of the Order must be given to law enforcement for service upon the Respondent.

There must be a hearing within 20 days. If law enforcement cannot find the Respondent within 20 days, you will need to ask the court to set a new hearing date.

At the hearing you must be prepared to explain to the court why you are asking for an Order of Protection, which includes bringing witnesses to the hearing who have knowledge about the facts in your Petition.

Stay in contact with the Clerk of Court for information about your case. The Clerk’s number is: _______________.

You should keep copies of your Order with you at all times. It is a good idea to always carry one in your purse or wallet, as well as having a copy at work and at your children’s schools.