2007 Writing Presentation given as guest lecturer, George Mason University
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Transcript of 2007 Writing Presentation given as guest lecturer, George Mason University
Welcome GMU English 302 [email protected] EVP/Chief Operating Officer 7 Nov 2007 +1 202 730 9760
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Agenda (36 slides in 30 minutes or less, with handouts)
30:00 Introductions
25:00 Types of Writing & Collaborative Projects
20:00 Writing for Influence and Persuasion
15:00 Writing Hints
10:00 Hiring
05:00 Q & A
00:00 Thank You
Be Brief, Be Right, Be Gone!
Questions I’m supposed to answer…
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• What percentage of a typical day do I spend writing? • What types of writing do I do? (emails, reports, memos, etc…)
• Do I supervise others and receive written documents?
• Do I have an assistant who revises or edits my documents? • Do we have a Writing Guide?
• Have I taken any writing workshops or seminars beyond formal education?
• How do I evaluate a future employee’s writing abilities?
• What writing skills do students need to be prepared for OJT writing in the field?
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Who am I?
• Former Army officer, BA from Indiana University • Many years living in Europe with the Army
• Combined Arms Services Staff School: Fort Leavenworth, KS
• Analyst/Consultant to Army CIO • Business Development and General Management at Apple
• Currently EVP & Chief Operating Officer at OCTI • In other words….a brain, an athlete, a basketcase, a princess,
and a criminal.
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What Do I Do At Work? • Along with the CEO, I run the company (~ 30 personnel)
o Admin/HR
o Finance/Accounting
o Sales/Marketing
o Operations/Logistics
• Superior performance with clients:
o DoD: Pentagon
o Army: 2 at Fort Belvoir
o Army: Walter Reed Army Medical Center
o Army: London, Paris, Bonn
• Bring in new business
o Write Proposals (prime and subcontract)
o Present OCTI to clients and partners
o Hire and staff new business
Disaster Recovery/COOP
Information Assurance
Software Development
Consulting
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Types of Writing and Collaborative Projects
I write to Influence and to Persuade
I write emails, memorandums, whitepapers, and proposals
Often, I give presentations, then must write a document
Often, I write documents, then must give a presentation
I usually write collaboratively with MS Word and Sharepoint
This is how we make money!
Writing Email [email protected] EVP/Chief Operating Officer +1 202 730 9760
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Writing Email
• Email is official correspondence • Always attempt to keep it short, target is one paragraph
• Spend time writing a descriptive subject line, One topic per email
• Address the addressee (Dear Mr. or Ms. So and So) • Include short signature file (email, direct phone and/or cell)
• More people reading email on mobile devices • “The attached document or presentation contains XYZ”
• No smileys, acronyms from SMS/texting (ROFL, TTFL, etc…)
• Humor and innuendo do not convey well over email • Use a professional email address
• Firstname . Lastname@ is the accepted naming convention • [email protected] is considered immature
The Proposal Process [email protected] EVP/Chief Operating Officer +1 202 730 9760
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Phase 1: Government Issues Request for Proposal
• We need some work done, here’s a description, can you do it?
• Constraints: 14 days for a small proposal, 30 days for a large one
• Lots of legal mumbo jumbo, but basically consists of three parts: o Performance Work Statement (problem and expected results)
o Instructions, Conditions, and Notices to Offerors
o Evaluation Factors for Award
Booz Allen Proprietary
Phase 2: Conduct RFP analysis: bid/no-bid decision
End Client The Office of Information Assurance and Compliance Tactical Directorate (NETCOM OIA&C)
Scope of Work Summary
The contractor will provide support services, including but not limited to, information assurance support, tactical information systems security engineering support and analysis, tactical information assurance vulnerability management (IAVM) process, acquisition program management oversight and support, human resource support, and property book support. This acquisition is a total set-aside for small business. This is a base year with 4 options years contract
Initial Value ~$2M Option Value ~$8M Duration
1 Year w/ 4 Opts
Due Date
RFP released on 10 Mar 06. Prop due 10 Apr 06.
Award Date
Late Apr/ Mid May
Competition Status
Incumbent is INCRIS 7 FTEs (small business total of 10 employees), Madden Tech (currently supports OIA&C CAC/PKI) and FCI (current footprint within CIO/G6 – AAIC) are likely competitors. BAH possible teaming option.
We received a pre-solicitation notification on February 13, 2006. The RFP was released March 10, 2006 for Small Business Set Aside.
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Phase 3: Respond to RFP by submitting proposal • Form team that can win, sign teaming and non-disclosure
agreements
• Establish Sharepoint site and provision accounts
• Divvy up writing assignments to team members
• Review initial writing assignments (Pink Team)
• Review final writing assignments (Red Team)
• Management reviews pricing
• Assemble 3 Volumes (Bookbinder):
o Technical
o Management
o Pricing
• Print, Bind, Deliver (Gold Team)
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What Does A Proposal Consist Of? • Technical Approach (usually a 10-50 page limit)
o Our understanding of the client and their problems
o How we’re going to solve their problems and do the work • Management Approach (usually a 10-50 page limit)
o Who we’re going to put against the problem (resumes)
o How we’re going to manage the program and projects
o Includes timelines, project plans, dates/format of deliverables
• Pricing (usually only 3-5 pages, consisting of tables from Excel)
o How much to do this work
o Our hourly rates by position, also in aggregate
o Other Direct Costs (travel, training, materials)
Writing Winning Proposals [email protected] EVP/Chief Operating Officer +1 202 730 9760
Writing Style Can Bias the Reader For or Against You
• You develop a relationship with the reader through your writing style o Establishes perception of credibility and confidence
o Creates environment of compatibility or arrogance
o If it is a “friendly read” and easy to score, the evaluator will often become an ally and look for ways to help us win
• Techniques to convey a positive writing style o Emphasize the present tense
o Don’t be afraid of the first person
o Be positive o Avoid stilted phrases
o Use the active voice
Poor: The Program Manager will publish a weekly status report for contractor visibility.
Better: The Program Manager publishes
a weekly status report for contractor visibility.
We Emphasize Present Tense
• Lends air of credibility and confidence
• Gives impression that we are proposing something real rather than mere good intentions
• Only exception is when it is important to make a distinction between past, present, and future
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1. Launch of the first satellite will occur in month 26.
2. Jane Leader has been appointed program manager.
We launch the first satellite in month 26. Our program manager is Jane Leader.
We Are Not Afraid of the First Person
• Stronger, more vigorous, more emphatic
• Use “we” and “our” instead of “the ABC Company” and “the XYX Team”
• Remember, customer is looking for a contractor and partner, not a disembodied entity
Positive: We maintain a fuel level of at least 50% at all times.. Passive: We never allow the fuel level to be less than 50% of capacity
We’re Extremely Positive
• Positive Statements o Show confidence o Carry more conviction
o Are usually shorter
• Negative statements often sound evasive
• Avoid caveats and conditional statements unless they really are absolutely necessary
Positive: Our training program …. Conditional: Our proposed training program ….
We Avoid STILTED Phrases
• In proposal writing, the challenge is to demonstrate understanding with statements of substance
• Avoid phrases such as o “Our Company understands …”
o “It is understood …”
o “We understand …”
• These stilted phrases become unsubstantiated claims and actually convey the opposite impression
Active: Never pour hazardous chemicals into the sink.
Passive: Hazardous chemicals
should never be poured into the sink.
We Use The Active Voice • Simpler
• More direct and believable
• More forceful and self-confident
• Usually less wordy
Active Voice: When the structure of the sentence has the actor in front of the action • Australian companies manufacture millions of precision machine tools
Passive Voice: When the structure of the sentence has the receiver in front of the action • Millions of precision machine tools are manufactured by Australian
companies
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We Use Microsoft Word’s Tools for Checking Spelling and Grammar (in addition to proofing)
• Test your draft text • Goals:
– 2-5 sentences/paragraph – Avg word length <20 – < 25% Passive – Flesch Reading >58 (but less
than 90) – Flesch Kincaid <13
• Spelling – When working on you're draft,
try nod to be concerned with any mispellings
– When your finishd, uze thge spel ckecker and the granna chucker
• Be sure to run spell checker before bringing your drafts to a conference!
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We Make Our Presentation Clear to The Reader
• Be specific o Speak to the reader in his/her own language o Never fear using little words
o Omit needless words
• Avoid using clichés
• Be careful when using acronyms
We Are Specific
• Avoid generalizations
• Be definite and concrete
– Poor: The launch was delayed because of unfavorable weather.
– Better: High winds delayed the launch.
– Best: Winds over 50 knots delayed the launch for three days.
• Good proposals are data rich – they deal in particulars and present the details that matter
• Steamboat test
– If your description works as well for a steamboat as it does for our system, then the description is not sufficiently specific
We Use the Customer’s Language • Don’t attempt to improve the solicitation’s choice of words
– If it says “Past Experience” don’t use “Past Performance” • Embed “road signs” in your subheading and text using key words
from the solicitation highlighting the location of our answer • Speaking to the customer in his/her language is hard
– For example, if you tell a DoD customer to “Secure a Building”. . .
• The Navy will turn off the lights and lock the doors
• The Army will occupy the building so no one can enter
• The Marines will assault the building, capture it using suppressive fire and close combat, and defend it
• The Air Force will take out a three-year lease with an option to buy
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We Are Edward Tufte Disciples
• Professor at Princeton • Edward Tufte: http://www.edwardtufte.com/
o Visual Display of Quantitative Information o Envisioning Information o Visual Explanations o Beautiful Evidence o Displays of Evidence for Making Decisions o The Cognitive Style of Powerpoint o Artful Sentences
• We spend a lot of time on graphics and art work: o Convey complex topics and ideas o Comparatively displaying quantitative information so it makes sense o OK, so what? What do the numbers mean? Compared to what?
We Never Fear Using Little Words
• Big words often name little things
• Learn to use little words in a big way – It might not be easy… – Little words tend to say exactly what you mean
• Remember, most big things have little names • Dawn • Peace • Love • War
• Life • God
• Death • Hope
The question as to whether whether (the question whether) There is no doubt that no doubt (doubtless) Used for fuel purposes used for fuel He is a man who he The reason is that because Owing to the fact that since (because) In spite of the fact that though (although) The fact that the tank failed the tank failed The fact that the test did not succeed the test was unsuccessful
Incorrect Correct
We Omit Needless Words • Also unnecessary sentences and paragraphs
(just as a drawing should contain no unnecessary lines or a machine should contain no unnecessary parts)
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Keep It Simple, Stupid (KISS) Is representative of is clear that is plain that kept under surveillance made an investigation of notwithstanding the fact that a considerable margin on account of on the basis of period of time pertaining to pursuant to separate into two equal parts take appropriate measures
typifies clearly plainly watched investigated although QUANTIFY because by interval – period about following halve act
And KISS Strikes Back
to summarize the above without variation with the exception of afford an opportunity a great deal of a great number of along the lines of as a general rule as related to assuming that a sufficient number at all times at the conclusion of
in summary stable – constant except permit – allow much more like usually – generally for – about if enough always after
And KISS Bikes Strack
based on the fact that by means of by way of illustration called attention to the fact despite the fact that detailed information draw to a close due to the fact that during which time estimated at about except in a small number of cases exhibit a tendency to exposure to elevated temperature
due to – because by for example reminded although details end because while estimated usually tend to heat
The Return of the Wordi
for the purpose of from the point of view in accordance with in addition (to) in close proximity in excess of in conjunction with in many cases in respect to in the absence of in the event that introduced a new in view of the fact that involve the necessity of
for – to for by – under also – besides near more than with often about – concerning without should – if introduced considering requires
BCWUA*
• Define acronyms when first used – However, some acronyms are better known than their definition
• NASA, WBS, RCA
• Redefine acronyms that are reused after their definition is forgotten
• Pages loaded with acronyms are foreboding
• Any acronym that makes the reader stop and think should be avoided
• Avoid parochial or made-up acronyms
*Be careful when using acronyms
“Good Writing” – A Review • Be more or less specific • Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly
superfluous • One should never generalize • The passive voice is to be avoided • Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary • Avoid clichés like the plague. (They are old hat.) • Prepositions are not words to end sentences with • Employ the vernacular • Foreign words and phrases are not apropos • Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. • Understatement is always best
– Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement • Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake • Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed
Hiring Good Writers [email protected] EVP/Chief Operating Officer +1 202 730 9760
How Do I Evaluate A Candidate’s Writing Ability?
• The Resume: gets the interview • The Writing Sample: confirm the interview • The References: independently confirm the interview • The Interview: gets the job • Writing is incredibly important in my line of work
o It is how we influence and persuade o By extension, how effective we are o We often write for other higher-ups, documents and presentations o Typing quickly and accurately, gets it right the first time
• Good writers and speakers with a BA/BS degree and domain expertise can make quite a bit of money
Be Brief, Be Right, Be Gone!
Thanks!!! [email protected] EVP/Chief Operating Officer +1 202 730 9760
