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SENIOR STAFF

Mike HamblinCEO

Dan WebsterRECRUITMENT

Liz RiveraEDUCATION

Nikki MacKayRETENTION

Deborah LindnerCOMMUNICATIONS

Kelly ElsDEVELOPMENT

BOARDRobert GerlachCHAIR Erik Ence VICE CHAIR

Jim Balderson Gabe Garn Trigena Halley Landon HardcastleGene Hayes Dave Hilliard Jillian LessnerLance Rich Jeannine TimothyMelissa Warnock Wayne Woodfield

FOSTERROSTER

Darcey WisemanEDITOR

PrestoPrintPRINT & FULFILMENT SERVICES

3December, 2020 & January, 2021

Have you ever wished you could get a little refresher course on what your Utah Foster Care trainer taught you about behaviors of children in foster care? How about reunification and working with the child’s family?

Last summer, we launched a podcast, designed especially for you, the foster parents of Utah.

We have recorded six episodes, on subjects ranging from diversity to foster care adoption. Our December podcast focuses on tips for handling hard emotions, disrupted schedules, and additional stimulation during the holidays.

You can find the podcast, titled “Fostering Conversations” on our website at https://utahfostercare.org/blog/podcast/ or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and Overcast.

It’s been downloaded 560 times at last count! If you are one of those who have listened, we would love for you to subscribe and add your review to help us grow the community and conversation surrounding these important topics. Many of our topics cover subjects that relate to parenthood in general – so we encourage you to tell your friends and family.

Don’t forget – you will receive in-service training credit for the podcasts, as long as you send your Resource Family Consultant (RFC) three things you learned from the podcast.

Let us know if you'd like a specific conversation covered- we'd love to hear from you!

Email your suggestions to liz.rivera@utahfostercare.org.

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UTAH FOSTER CARE OFFICES

Murray5296 South Commerce DriveSuite 400Murray, UT 84107801-994-5205 Main801-994-5206 Fax877-505-5437 Toll-free

Ogden3340 South Harrison Blvd.Suite 200Ogden, UT 84403801-392-1114 Main

Orem274 West Center StreetOrem, UT 84057801-373-3006 Main

Price475 West Price River DrSuite 152Price, UT 84501435-636-0210 Main

RooseveltRural Route 3, Box 8008Roosevelt, UT 84066970-314-0361 Main

Vernal1680 W Highway 40 Suite 100Vernal, UT 84078435-315-2543 Main

Moab180 South 300 EastSuite CMoab, UT 84532435-261-2368 Main

St George491 East Riverside DrSuite 2BSt George, UT 84790435-656-8065 Main

Richfield201 East 500 NorthRichfield, UT 84701435-979-2233 Main

Words Matter By: Jennie Sheperd, Recruitment, Utah Foster Care

One of the things that I have learned while interacting with the child welfare system is that words have weight. Our words matter. One of the ways that I have taken to heart is the way in which we speak about the parents whose children are in foster care.

When children hear us speaking about their parents, they may not separate themselves from those words. After all, when we were younger, didn’t we all view ourselves as extensions of our parents? On top of that, if a child hears negativity about their parents, we create divided loyalties and confusion.

Another way is how we speak about the children. A term that is downright “cringey” – if I may borrow an adjective from my teenagers- is when people say “foster kids.” While it doesn’t sound much different and it takes longer to say “kids in foster care,” there is an actual difference in the phrases.

"Foster kids" is a label. It is defining those children by their current situation. When we say kids in foster care, it is a descriptive phrase. We are describing the situation that the children are in rather than who they are.

The meaning may technically be the same, but the feeling is different. I want the children in the custody of the state to know and feel that their time in foster care is temporary; that who they are is completely separate from this temporary time in their lives.

It’s important to forgive ourselves and others for not knowing the right thing to say and for not always having the right terminology for every situation. If we look for ways to be sensitive to others in our speech, we can contribute to better mental health and positive self-image of youth in foster care.

Jennie and her husband Darrell have adopted four children from foster care. She now helps other prospective families in Utah County and surrounding areas through the foster care process as one of Utah Foster Care’s foster-adoptive consultants.

5December, 2020 & January, 2021 5

UTAH FOSTER CARE ( UFC )

Eastern Region UFC Staff

Kobi PrettymanLEAD FOSTER-ADOPTIVE CONSULTANT

McKay EsplinFOSTER-ADOPTIVE CONSULTANT /TRAINER

Les HarrisTRAINER

Adriana GardinerRETENTION SERVICES SPECIALIST

Joel ReddFOSTER-ADOPTIVE CONSULTANT /RETENTION SPECIALIST

UTAH DIVISION OF CHILD & FAMILY SERVICES ( DCFS )

DCFS HQ ( 801 ) 538 – 4100195 NORTH 1950 WEST, SLC

Eastern Region DCFS OfficesNEED TO REACH YOUR RFC?CALL YOUR LOCAL DCFS OFFICE …

Blanding ( 435 ) 678 - 1491522 NORTH 100 EASTCastle Dale ( 435 ) 381 - 47301060 NORTH DESBEE DOVE ROADMoab ( 435 ) 261 - 23681165 SOUTH HIGHWAY 191, #1Price ( 435 ) 636 - 2360475 WEST PRICE RIVER DRIVE, #152Roosevelt ( 435 ) 722 - 6550140 WEST 425 SOUTH, #330 – 15Vernal ( 435 ) 781 - 42501052 WEST MARKET DRIVE

FIND MORE RESOURCES ONLINEutahfostercare.org/eastern

Eastern Region December, 2020 & January, 2021

Holiday Celebrations

UINTAH BASIN

Please joins us for a Christmas Whoville Extravaganza on Friday, December 18th in the afternoon. We will be collaborating with the Rotary Club of Vernal & Wet and Wild Rentals for a night of Christmas fun, story time, and presents. Details to follow.

CARBON / EMERY

Foster Family Winter Movie Nights

Join us for a free movie and enjoy a night out.

December 8th & 15th; 6:00pm

King Coal Theatre: movies TBA

Choose ONE night to attend

Popcorn and drinks included

RSVP to kobi.prettyman@utahfostercare.org

Made possible by King Coal Theatre, Price Kiwanis, ECCU, & Utah Foster Care.

GRAND / SAN JUAN

Please watch for a text from Joel with details about plans.

ClustersSupport Groups

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CLUSTERS, WHAT ARE THEY?

Clusters are peer groups for foster, adoptive, and kinship families who meet together on a monthly basis for support & required training.

Learn more, online!

GRAND CLUSTER Audrena ( 435 ) 210 - 1963 SAN JUAN CLUSTER Kaitlyn ( 435 ) 459-0452 CARBON/EMERY CLUSTERDawn ( 435 ) 340-0084 Janarie  ( 435 ) 820 - 6162 UINTAH BASIN CLUSTERJessica  ( 385 ) 414-1619

utahfostercare.org/joinfacebook « Join a support group!

Helping Parents Cope with Trauma

Les Harris, LCSW

December 2; 6:00 - 8:00pm

Online!

Helping children make sense of the effects of trauma on their emotions and behaviors can help caregivers manage emotions more effectively.

First-time Placement: Need to Know

Denice Beacham, BS

December 3; 10:00am - Noon

Online!

This training will explore reminders and information foster parents

need to know at initial placement for children in their homes.

KINSHIP CLUSTER

Boundaries in Relationships

Terri Rowley, LCSW

December 7; 6:00 - 7:00pm

Online!

Do you struggle defining personal boundaries with others? There are healthy

ways for you to protect and manage your time and well being while still engaging

meaningfully with those in need.

MANAGING EMOTIONS:

The Whole Brain Approach

Brian Young, SSW

December 8; 7:30 - 9:00pm

Online!

Based on the book “The Whole Brain Child,” we’ll talk about the brain and how

to manage big emotions and behaviors.

MINDFULNESS:

Balancing your Life

LeishaAnne Corbett

January 5; 7:00 - 8:30pm

Online!

Practice focusing your mind on particular objects, and thoughts important to

you. We will train and become aware of our mental, emotional, and physical

being to find a calm and stable state.

Mindfulness for Kids

Terumi Sagers, BS

January 6; 6:00 - 7:00pm

Online!

This is a class for kids 4-12 and their grownups to learn about their

brains and how to focus them.

Reframing Behaviors

Denice Beacham, BS

December 10; 6:00 - 8:00pm

Online!

Reframing is a technique that can be helpful to parents. Reframing a child’s

behavior allows you to take the negative and replace it with something positive.

What are Belief Systems?

Denice Beacham, BS

January 6; 6:00 - 8:00pm

Online!

Belief systems are the stories we tell ourselves to define our personal self and

make sense of the world around us. Learn how to examine beliefs and how they impact

the thoughts and behavior of our children.

7December, 2020 & January, 2021 7Eastern Region December, 2020 & January, 2021

Caring for the Sexually Reactive Child

Les Harris, LCSW

January 27; 1:00 - 3:00pm

Online!

Children who have experienced sexual abuse may exhibit a variety of responses. It's important to understand the child’s

reactions to their history and implement developmentally appropriate responses.

RSVP FOR CLASSES!

All classes will be will online.

To get the link for the class, please RSVP to Amy Bates with the title, date, & time of the class at: amy.bates@utahfostercare.org.

You are welcome to attend any class being offered in October - December.

When you have completed the training, please email your regional trainer with the title, date, & time of the class. Along with 3 things you learned.

Brian Young, Northern Region brian.young@utahfostercare.org

Terumi Sagers, Salt Lake Region terumi.sagers@utahfostercare.org

Terri Rowley , Western Region terri.rowley@utahfostercare.org

Les Harris, Eastern Region les.harris@utahfostercare.org

Denice Beacham, Southwest Region denice.beacham@utahfostercare.org

Liz Rivera, Director of Education liz.rivera@utahfostercare.org

Working with Primary Families

Megan Thompson; Project Reality

January 20; 6:00 - 8:00pm

Online!

Teaching important life and parenting skills to the parents whose children

are in foster care is a large task. Megan helps families get back on their feet.

Understanding Implicit Bias

Brian Young, SSW

January 7; 7:30 – 9:00pm

Online!

We all have attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions and decisions in a subconscious manner.

Will that affect your fostering?

Managing Difficult Emotions & Behaviors

Les Harris, LCSW

January 13; 6:00 - 9:00pm

Online!

Foster and adoptive parents can benefit from regular reminders to use effective intervention strategies to help children manage their emotional dysregulation.

The Impact of Domestic Violence

Sandra Wilkes, LCSW

January 13; 6:00 - 7:30pm

Online!

Domestic violence is a destructive force in many families. Sandra will teach us

about the impact and speak of her many years leading a domestic perpetrators

intervention group and all that she learned.

CARING FOR A CHILD

with a Traumatic Brain Injury

Amy Bates, M.Ed.

January 19; Noon - 1:30pm

Online!

Traumatic brain injuries can affect a child in many different ways. This training

will address those ways and how to help your child be successful in the school

system, community and at home.

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Denice Beacham, BS

January 27; 6:00 - 8:00pm

Online!

Story from a child’s point of view of living in domestic violence. Based on the book

“A SAFE place to Live” This training will share a child’s story and help us understand

dynamics of violence in the home.

TRUST BASED RELATIONAL INTERVENTION: TBRI®

Hope Walker, LCSW, TBRI® Practioner

Wednesdays in January, February, & March; 6:00 - 8:00pm

Online: Register with Amy Bates

TBRI® is designed for children from "hard places" such as abuse, neglect, and/or trauma. TBRI® offers practical tools for parents, to see the "whole

child" in their care and help that child reach his/her highest potential. Space is limited: register with amy.bates@utahfostercare.org

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The Holidays & Foster Care

The Holidays are a special time for all of us. It is a time full of joy and hope, and the opportunity to remind ourselves to be grateful and happy. Youth in foster care often report that they feel especially vulnerable and lonely, as they miss their families and struggle with the expectation to feel the very opposite. We, as foster parents, can do a few things to validate these feelings and ease some of the anxiety that comes with the holidays:

• Have the youth share his/her traditions and beliefs. These may come from his family before he came into placement or even from the time they shared with other foster parents. Try to incorporate these traditions into your own family celebration.

• Discuss your holiday traditions with the youth: let the child know if you will be having people at home, if you are going to other homes, the religious customs around Christmas, and whether or not they are expected to participate in activities. Knowing what to expect will decrease their anxiety.

• Facilitate visits with loved ones. It is easy to get lost in the hustle of the season, and case managers as well as foster parents are very busy during this time. Help your youth arrange visits with his relatives and perhaps the opportunity to extend holiday wishes to people from their life that are important to them. Please do not allow busy scheduled to postpone these very important visits. If they cannot visit, consider including these especial people in your thoughts and prayers, and even getting a card delivered to them. Foster children can feel very conflicted about their birth families and their wellbeing during this season. Let your children in foster care know that it is ok to feel safe and cared for, even if they are unsure if their birth family struggles during this time.

• Prepare friends and family before they visit. Whether it is people coming into your home or you visiting someone else’s home, make sure that they know about the new family members in your home. This will help mitigate the awkward situation of asking who the child is, setting a place at the table at the last minute, etc.

• Remember confidentiality. Friend and family members visiting your home for the holidays might have questions about the youth’s background. Understand that these questions are not generally meant to be insensitive or rude, but come from lack of understanding about how foster care and child protection work. Try to have these conversations ahead of time and away from the youth’s presence, while maintaining the child’s confidentiality. Discuss with your youth how they would like to be introduced, and what is appropriate to share with your family and friends.

• Understand if they pull away. Despite your best efforts, a foster child might feel overwhelmed during the holiday festivities and withdraw during this time. Understand that this is detachment is most likely not a reflection on how they feel about you or an insult, but a coping mechanism. Allow for downtime, and make sure to check in with the child often offering some one-on-one time to discuss their feelings and thoughts.

The holidays are an exciting time, and a great opportunity to share time with people that we love. The experiences during this time will likely stay in the minds of the children in your home. What an honor it is to be part of someone’s memories.

Happy Holidays!

utahfostercare.org/joinfacebook « Join a support group!

By: Adriana Gardiner, Renention Services, Utah Foster Care

9December, 2020 & January, 2021

Family of “Real Housewives” Star Gives Back Excerpted from an article in the Draper Journal by Katherine Weinstein

“Why work if you’re not going to be giving back?” asked Draper entrepreneur Lisa Barlow. “That’s the whole driving point behind creating so much is so that we have the resources to be able to give back to others.”

Barlow and her husband John have established multiple businesses from a luxury liquor brand to a highly successful lifestyle marketing company. Throughout their careers, they have given back to the community in a variety of ways and encouraged their sons to do the same. Barlow’s sons, Jack and Henry, recently created a line of grooming products for men and boys and are donating shampoo and body wash to kids in foster care.

Barlow and her family will appear on Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” which premieres this month. Because of her connections to the entertainment industry, Barlow was instrumental in bringing the show to Utah.

“I am so grateful to be a part of this franchise,” she said. “The seventh star of ‘The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’ is our city. That was super important to me.” In the course of filming the show, Barlow was engaging with other entrepreneurs in Utah and feels that the finished product is “a good way to showcase all the amazing things that are happening in Utah.”

Jack and Henry serve as Creative Directors for Fresh Wolf which makes shampoo, conditioner, hand sanitizer, hair styling products and body wash. The slogan for the company is “Run with us.”

“We want people to feel like they’re in our pack,” said Jack.

Fresh Wolf has teamed up with Utah Foster Care for an important cause, shining a light on the foster care system and showing how people can help. For every unit sold, Fresh Wolf donates a 2-in-1 body wash and shampoo to a child in foster care. “Everyone deserves something nice,” said Lisa Barlow. As Jack explained on the Fresh Wolf Facebook page, boys in foster care are sometimes overlooked or forgotten and don’t have many things to call their own.

“My husband had a short stint in foster care,” explained Lisa. “We’re constantly aware of kids that have displaced families.” She encourages her sons to reach out to others who need acknowledgement. “It doesn’t take much to make someone feel important,” she said.

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Power Up Positive Emotions to Raise Resilient Kids By Cinda Morgan, LCSW | HandfulofHope.org

After 10 years of research and development, the completion of the online version of our program happens to coincide with a worldwide pandemic. Handful of Hope, a non-profit organization focused on helping foster families increase resilience, has a proven track record of helping both parents and children bounce back from stresses and challenges.

WE TURN SCIENCE INTO FAMILY FUN

Researchers have identified what makes us emotionally strong. We’ve transformed this research into activity-based learning.

• Family Focused: Using our online program, parents help their children learn how to bounce back from challenges and thrive.

• Scientifically Designed: Backed by 170+ studies, our program helps parents and children learn specific skills to increase positive emotions which leads to greater resilience.

• Activity Based: The 135+ hands-on activities make our program fun and engaging and adaptable for children from age 4 to 18.

• Fun Filled: The five Rezillion Superheroes are delightful reminders of the concepts. Five fun new songs reinforce the concepts throughout the day. Ten entertaining original children’s stories help your children see the concepts in action.

BUILD A RESILIENT FAMILY IN 60 MINUTES A WEEK

One of the five core concepts is designed to be taught during one month. There are 22 lessons in the program (and lots of extras) for your family.

1. Prepare: Spend 10-20 minutes each week learning the concept yourself and getting the activity ready.

2. Learn Together: Guide lecture-free learning through scientifically designed activities, stories, and discussion

ideas. Each lesson with your family takes about 45-60 minutes.

3. Make It Stick: Make it memorable and fun for your family with songs, sayings, meditations, stories, superheroes, extra activities, and more. See handfulofhope.org for more details.

IN-SERVICE HOURS

Our COVID-19 Special provides families with more than 20% of our program for free. It gives parents free, no time limit access to the Intro Section and Gratitude Month sections. Also, foster and adoptive families are able to access the entire program for $49. (The regular price is $149.) This is a one-time forever price with unlimited access. When you complete the COVID-19 Special, you will receive 6 hours of in-service training through UFC. Parents will receive 30 hours of in-service hours for completing the entire program. Go to handfulofhope.org and click on any “Try It Free” button to create a membership and use the program.

THE BEGINNINGS OF OUR RESILIENCE-BOOSTING PROGRAM

I’m here to tell you that you never know when an idea will hit you on the side of head and change the course of your life. I’m a child and family therapist by profession and throughout my career I’ve worked with children in foster care. I’ve always been passionate about helping these children because by in large, they carry heavy burdens because of the choices of others. Obviously, if you are reading this you have strong feelings about wanting to help children too. And you may have had a thought that has changed the course of your life as well!

A few years ago, I was sitting in a professional conference and there was some talk about resilience. I thought,

“Children in foster care need more resilience.” They needed more than what I could offer as a mental health therapist. And that’s where Handful of Hope began.

11December, 2020 & January, 2021

WISHING WELL FUNDS

Utah Foster Care has funds available to meet the special needs of children in foster care when DCFS is unable to meet these needs. These funds are limited.

Contact Your Regional Office for More Info:

Northern RegionMaegen Bernardo( 801 ) 392 – 1114

Salt Lake Valley RegionTina Porter( 801 ) 994 – 5205

Western RegionHeidi Naylor( 801 ) 373 – 3006

Eastern RegionAdriana Gardiner( 970 ) 314 – 0361

Southwest RegionDiane Fillmore( 435 ) 656 – 8065

Please Remember:

• Dispersal of funds can take up to four weeks

• Checks are mailed to the foster parent’s home address

• Funds are for children in foster care ONLY

• Items covered by the reimbursement or by Medicaid are not eligible

A Word on Vacations:

• A child in care can receive vacation funds once in their lifetime

• Vacation funds are restricted monetarily & may not cover all costs

Even though children in foster care really have amazing resilience because they have already survived many difficulties, a stream of hurtful and confusing experiences can lead to the belief that things will never change. One of the things that can be particularly harmful to children in foster care is the belief that things will always go wrong. It’s called learned helplessness and is the conviction that nothing you do will make any difference. It is giving up. It is having zero hope things will change or that you can make a difference in your own life, at least in some areas of your life.

So children who have many hurts need resilience to help them overcome the destructive assumptions of learned helplessness. But they aren’t the only ones who could use a surge of resilience. Parenting is a marathon and so “aid stations” that provide nourishment are vital to help you maintain your energy level too. And if you are parenting children from hard places, you might experience some vicarious learned helplessness yourself! Our research shows that Handful of Hope not only helps children, but also boosts the resilience of parents as well.

A SPECIAL THANKS!

Although HofH has expressed its thanks to them directly, we want to give a big shout out to Liz Rivera and UFC who have helped and supported us throughout the entire 10-year process of getting to this point. Another big shout out goes to Dr. Camilla Hodge from the University of Utah and Dr. Karen Melton from Baylor University for helping us with the research side of our program.

As stated above, Handful of Hope is a resilience program designed to help children, young children, teens, and adults adapt, grow, and thrive—even when they face challenging or less-than-ideal circumstances—by building resilience through increasing positive emotions.

Utah Foster Care5296 South Commerce Drive, #400Murray, UT 84107

utahfostercare.org

IN PARTNERSHIP WITH UTAH DIVISION OF CHILD & FAMILY SERVICES

Presorted Standard U.S. Postage PAIDSalt Lake City, Utah

PERMIT Nº. 750