8/3/2019 150 Reasons Why Rajnikanth Can Now Replace God

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150 REASONS WHY RAJNIKANTH CAN NOW REPLACE GOD!

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

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36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.

42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks and change the spots of a leopard.

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.

55. Rajinikanths calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.

64. Rajinikant doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.

66. When you say no one is perfect, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year

Rajinikanth was born.

69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

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71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself

in the air while the earth rotates.

79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.

80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.

82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.

84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

85. Rajinikant doesnt bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined victim as one who has

encountered Rajinikant.

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.

90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and

everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.

94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.

95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

100. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

101. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.

102. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that

the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

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103. If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesnt say, Did you mean Rajanikanth? It simply replies, Run while

you still have the chance.

104. Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

105. When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, hes telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

106. Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show

consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

107. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he

wants.

108. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

109. When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between

Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

110. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the darkness off.

111. The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

112. When Rajnikanth stares at the sun, it hides behind the clouds & it rains.

113. The tsunami in 2006 was not caused by an under-water earthquake, Rajnikanth dived into the ocean.

114. BREAKING NEWS - Rajnikanth ne DON ko pakad liya. Namumkin huh !

115. Page3 headline on 2nd April 2028 "Big B's great granddaughter debuts with Rajnikanths Robot-5"

116. Once Google was Lost. Rajni found it.

117. Edmund Hillary first met Rajni on the Everest peak

118. Neil Armstrong's famous line on the moon was: 'one giant step for mankind, a small step for Rajnikanth'

119. Rajni is so cool, he makes ice jealous

120. Rajni once won a Formula1 race on his bicycle

121. Death once had a near Rajnikanth experience..!

122. There is nothing like recession, its just that Rajnikanth started saving money

123. Rajni can download the Internet & compress it to an single MB!

124. Rajni doesn't have to download the Internet... The Internet uploads to Rajni

125. Rajnikanth is so fast he always comes yesterday.

126. Government aborts blackberry ban plan, since Rajni can intercept all mails and messages

127. Jesus can walk on water but Rajnikanth can swim through land..!

128. Rajnikanth can make David Blaine disappear

129. Rajnikanth was without words once - just to experience the feeling of being speechless.

130. Rajnikanth can blind the sun by looking at it. His sunglasses protect the sun.

131. Rajnikanth does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Rajnikanth

132. When Rajnikanth crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

133. They once made a Rajnikanth toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

134. There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikanth has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

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135. There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.

136. Dinosaurs arent extinct, theyre hiding from Rajnikanth.

137. Rajnikanth bought a broken pickup truck. Now that truck is known as Optimus Prime

138. Rajnikanth can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water

139. People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Rajnikanth

140. Rajnikanth can count his chickens BEFORE they hatch

141. God created Jesus to inspire peace. When that didnt work, he created Rajnikanth to enforce it

142. The Jedi Knights from Star Wars actually worshipped Rajnikanth, referring to him as the force

143. Rajnikanth used Inception on Christopher Nolan, to plant the Idea of Inception

144. Rajnikanth once threw a bunch of rocks up toward the sky. Thus the Asteroid Belt was formed

145. Rajnikanth once made a Robot for his science class. We now know this robot as the Terminator

146. Rajnikanth saw The Ring video, then watched it again a week later

147. The only time Rajnikanth made a mistake was when thought hed made a mistake

148. Why does the sun rise in the East? Because Rajnikanth is chasing it from the other side.

149. Rajnikanth can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit

150. Rajnikant died 20 years ago. Death hasn't built the courage to tell him yet!