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27Writing Workshop

Writing Workshop

Choose an ExperienceSeeing the World Have you ever had an experience like this?You are walking through the park when you come across a dogshow. You are thrilled to be seeing dogs of every breed. Mainlythough, you wish someone were there to witness the event with you.If you have ever witnessed something that you wanted to share witha friend or family member, write about that experience now. Choosean event that you think is interesting. Your goal will be to communi-cate your interest and enthusiasm to your reader.

PrewritingPrewriting

Writing anEyewitness Account

An account of the Titanic disaster in the words of a sur-

vivor…The story of a calf being born, told by the 4-H

member who witnessed it…These firsthand observations are called

eyewitness accounts. Through an eyewitness account, a writer can

share an experience with someone who has never seen the event. A

writer’s vivid retelling of an experience can create something like a

movie in the reader’s mind, allowing him or her to imagine every

detail and action.

It is your turn to create a mental movie for your reader. In this

workshop you will write a letter giving an eyewitness account of a

memorable event. You will use detail and sensory language to show

your reader an event.

W H AT ’ SA H E A D ?

In this workshop youwill write an eyewit-ness account. You willalso learn how to� narrate an experience

by using details andchronological order

� describe by showingrather than telling

� choose exact nounsand adjectives

� punctuate dialogue

Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.

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An eyewitness account takes the form of a narrative, or story.Therefore, choose an event you saw from beginning to end and canrecall clearly. Your reader should be able to see the account as youdid, so be sure you can remember plenty of details.

28 Narration/Description: Witnessing an EventChapter 1

K E Y C O N C E P T

When choosingexperiences, focus onevents that youobserved rather thanparticipated in. Forexample, you wouldwrite about the soccergame you saw instead ofthe basketball game youplayed in.

T I P

Brainstorm a list of events you have witnessed. You mightconsider

� sports events such as a soccer game or track meet

� school events such as a science fair or art exhibit opening

� natural events such as a flood or sunset

� neighborhood events such as a parade or street festival

Decide which events

� you find most interesting

� you remember most clearly

� you saw from beginning to end

� you observed without participating in

Choose the event you most want to write about.

Use these steps to choose an event for your eyewitness account.

THINKING ITTHINKING ITTHROUGHTHROUGH

THINKING ITTHINKING ITTHROUGHTHROUGH Choosing an Experience

� STEP 1

� STEP 2

� STEP 3

The writer whose example appears below chose the snowboard-ing exhibition because she had the most fun watching it and remembered the most details from that event.

state championship track meet Cinco de Mayo parade

my brother’s soap-box car race snowboarding exhibition �

Choosing an ExperienceUse the Thinking It Through steps above to brainstorm and evaluateevents you have seen and to choose an experience for your eyewit-ness account.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 44


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Think About Purpose and AudienceShare Your Vision Your purpose, or reason for writing, is toshare a memorable experience. You would not need to write a letterdescribing a snowboarding exhibition to a friend who saw it withyou. Instead, you would want to tell a friend who was not thereabout the thrill of watching people glide on the snow and flip throughthe air.

29Writing Workshop

Identifying Your AudienceTo identify the audience for your eyewitness-account letter, thinkabout a person who would be interested in the event but who didnot get to see it.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 55

Gather Events and DetailsWhat Happened? You are thinking about the snowboardingexhibition and all you can remember is the woman who amazed youby flipping through the air. Your mind may jump to the most excit-ing moments or to your favorite part of the experience. However,there is more to an eyewitness account than the big moments. Youare telling a story, so think about and list the small events that madeup the experience from beginning to end.

Who, What, Where, How A good eyewitness account will giveplenty of specific information to create a complete picture of theevent for the reader. You can flesh out details from the events by ask-ing yourself these four questions.

questions about people, such as Who took part in this event?Who caught my attention?

questions that get at sensory details, such as What did I hear(including dialogue), see, smell, feel, or taste?

questions about places, such as Where did this event take place?

questions about feelings, such as How did I feel watching thisevent?

Who?

What?

Where?

How?

Check your listfor unnecessary events—those that don’t reallyadd to the narrative.Think about these ques-tions: Does each eventadd something to mystory? Can I make eachevent vivid for my audience?

T I P

K E Y C O N C E P T


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As you list details, you may include terms or information that yourreader may not know. Support your descriptions and details withdefinitions or background information.

Order Up Once you list the events and details involved in yourexperience, you’ll need to put them in order. The best order for aneyewitness account is chronological (or time) order. Tell the events inthe order they happened—first, second, third, and so on. Chrono-logical order helps the reader follow the story.

To make the chart below, the writer first listed the events thatmade up the experience. Then, for each event, she listed details thatanswered the Who, What, Where, and How questions.


K E Y C O N C E P T

Events

1. arrived and waited forthe competition to begin

2. half-pipe jam session

3. big air session

4. drove home

Details: Who, What, Where, How?

who: crowd of peoplewhat: cold; people stamping feet to keep warm; crunchy snowwhere: around the exhibition area; overlooking the half-pipehow: surprised at how many people were theredefinition: a half-pipe is a U-shaped snow structure, about 10feet high and 360 feet long; it is like a pipe cut in half

what: cheers of the crowd and crunch of the snowhow: amazed by the skill of the athletes

what: a woman doing an inverted 720; riders framed by the skywhen they were in the airhow: impressed by the tricks; want to take more lessonsbackground info: riders fly off a jump and do tricks in the air

how: asked Dad to let me take more snowboarding lessons

Snowboarding Exhibition

Gathering and Organizing Ideas� Create a chart like the one above for your event. In the first col-

umn, write the events of your experience in chronological order.

� In the second column, include details for each event. Use the ques-tions on page 29 to find details.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 66


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MINI-LESSONLESSON

MINI-LESSONLESSON WRITINGWRITING

Showing Instead of TellingThe stomach flu keeps you away from thestate championship basketball game. Later,when you ask a friend about the game, hesays, “It was fun. We won.” “That’s it?” youthink. “I want to hear more!”

What you want is a dazzling descrip-tion. You want to hear the stomping of thecrowd’s feet, smell the sweat of the packedgym, and sense the thrill of cheering yourteam on to victory. You want your friendto show you the victory, not tell you, “Wewon.”

Showing rather than telling allowsyour style, the way you express ideas, tocome through. Showing lets the reader seethrough your eyes and hear your voice,which indicates your attitude toward theevent.

There are several ways to show anevent rather than tell it. Show by adding

� dialogue—actual words of the peopleinvolved in the events

� precise words—strong verbs, vivid adjec-tives, precise nouns

You can also show details through fig-ures of speech, expressions that describeone thing in terms of another. Two figuresof speech you can use are similes andmetaphors.

A simile uses like or as to compare twounlike things.

The runner looked as graceful as a cheetah.

A metaphor says directly that onething is another thing.

Her eyes were a well of disappointment.

Here is an example of the differenceshowing can make.

Telling: Betsy is a clumsy girl.

Showing: Betsy usually trips through adoorway, her arms flailing toward any ob-ject that might keep her from falling. “Mymom keeps telling me to wear more sensi-ble shoes,” she says to cover up the nearfall. She then teeters along, looking like aflamingo with a twisted ankle.

This example shows by using strongverbs (trips, flailing, teeter), a simile (look-ing like a flamingo), and dialogue.

ACTICEACTICEPRPR

Turn the following telling statements intodescriptive showing passages.

1. I look forward to lunch every day.

2. Anna-Marie was fascinated as shewatched the play.

31Writing Workshop

3. Jordan was angry that his parents hadtaken him to the symphony.

4. My dog misses me when I am at school all day.

5. Paco looks happy today.


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Directions and Explanations

Conclusion� Your feelings or questions

about what you observed� Importance of the event� Closing for the letter

Body� First event and details� Second event and details

and so on

Framework

� Open with a greeting, or salutation. (For more onletter form, see page 798 of the Quick ReferenceHandbook.)

� Use a question, a story, or a personal note to getyour reader’s attention. Try two different attentiongrabbers. Then, ask a peer which is better.

� Put each event of your experience in a paragraph.Combine two or more short events into one para-graph.

� Elaborate on each detail from your prewritingchart by using descriptive language that shows,rather than tells, what the experience was like. Pro-vide additional background information, includingdefinitions, for anything that might be unfamiliarto your audience.

� Leave your reader with an understanding of the im-portance of the event. You might summarize whyyou liked the event and wanted to share it. Remem-ber the reason you decided to write this letter.Then, close with a personal note to your reader.

Introduction� Salutation� Attention-grabbing opener� Statement of the event

WritingWritingEyewitness Account

Writing Your Eyewitness AccountNow it is your turn to write a letter about an eyewitness account. Asyou write, refer to the framework above and the Writer’s Model onthe next page.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 77


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33Writing Workshop

(continued)

1825 E. Avenue BSalt Lake City, UT 84103

January 21, 2000

Dear Jake,Have you ever seen a snowboarding exhibition? I

have been wanting to see one ever since I took a lesson amonth ago. This past Saturday, my dad and I went to seea competition. I had a great time, and I got to see some ofmy favorite professional riders.

When we arrived, we were surprised by how manypeople were there. We worked our way through a crowdaround the exhibition area and waited for the first sessionto begin. People were stamping their feet to keep warm inthe twenty-degree weather. The gray snow crunchingunder our feet sounded like pieces of plastic foam rub-bing together. My skin felt tight and prickly, and I couldsee my breath in puffs of fog on the chilly air. As wewaited, we talked about how good the half-pipe looked.A half-pipe is snow packed into a U-shape, about 10 feethigh and 360 feet long. It is like a big pipe that has beencut in half. Riders drop in from the top at one side andglide down and then up the other side and perform tricksin the air above the pipe. The tricks involve twisting andflipping in the air, usually while grabbing the board withat least one hand.

As the half-pipe jam session began, I could sense arush of excitement from the crowd. The whooshing andcrunching sounds of the boards in the snow were soonmuted by the whooping cheers of the crowd. We were allamazed by how graceful the athletes looked. Once in awhile, a rider would fall. One rider missed the edge of

A Writer’s ModelA Writer’s Model

Attention-grabbingbeginning

Salutation

First and secondevents

Descriptive language

Details (sensory)

Definition

Third event

Precise words

Details (sensory)

Detail (feelings)

The final draft below follows the framework for a letter relatingan eyewitness account.


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the pipe and fell to the other side of the wall. “Ouch!”Dad said, “Did you see that fall? You know that hurt.”

The second part of the competition was a “big air” ses-sion. In this event, riders go off a jump to perform tricksin the air. Sometimes the riders would hang in the airwith one arm extended. It looked like they were holdingon to a handle in the sky. The last woman in the exhibi-tion performed an inverted 720, which means she rotatedtwice in the air while flipping!

I was so excited that I talked the whole ride home, try-ing to convince my dad to let me take more snowboard-ing lessons. He must have been impressed, too, becausehe is going to let me. Next winter when you visit, I willshow you what I have learned.

All my best,

Detail (dialogue)

Fourth event

Detail (sensory)


Last event

Closing

Importance ofexperience

(continued)

PEANUTS reprinted by permission of United Feature Syndicate, Inc.


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35Writing Workshop

A Student’s ModelA Student’s Model

Detail (dialogue)

First event


Second event


Third event

Details (sensory)

It was 6:30 in the morning, and I was in dream-land. Suddenly, my dad threw open my bedroom doorwith a loud bang and started tickling me until I got alltangled up in my covers and fell out of bed.

“Gosh Dad, how can you be so energetic at 6:30 ona Monday morning?” I asked with a bit of an attitude.

“Look outside and that will answer your question,”he said. It was amazing! There were snowflakes ofevery imaginable size. Some were as big as twoinches, and some were as small as an eraser on a pen-cil. I could hear the wind howling past my window, asthe snowflakes flew in every direction. . . .

Dad drove slowly to the school because he couldn’tsee. On the way we saw fallen trees and damagedhouses. About a block away from school we saw a treethat had fallen on a car. The whole back of the carwas smashed. As we turned the corner to school, I no-ticed that the whole east side of the school was cov-ered with snow and ice. . . .

I put my book on my desk and sat down. I kept thelights off because I liked to listen to the silence of anempty school.

For some odd reason, I was counting the lines onthe chalkboard when all of a sudden I heard a buzzingsound and a green glowing light filled the room. Iwhirled around and to my astonishment, I saw apower box outside, exploding. After about four sec-onds, the explosion stopped as abruptly as it hadstarted. I walked to Mrs. Hall’s room where it wasalso dark. She was sitting at her desk.

“Pretty cool huh,” I said. . . .“Very cool,” she said. . . .

When you write an eyewitness account you want to show the eventto your reader. Matthew Hutter, a student from Lansing, Illinois,uses vivid descriptions and dialogue to pull readers into a snowymorning event. The following excerpts are from a letter he wrote.

Fifth event

Fourth event


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RevisingRevising

Tips

Underline the personal note,question, or story that grabs thereader‘s attention.

Put stars next to terms thatmight be unfamiliar to readers.Circle information that helps thereader understand the terms.

Number each event in the let-ter. Check that the numbersmatch the order in which theevents happened.

With a colored marker, high-light details and vivid descrip-tions.

Put a check mark next tostatements that explain why theevent was important.

Evaluation Questions

Does the introduction includean attention-grabber?

Does the account providebackground information tohelp the reader understandunfamiliar terms and ideas?

Are the events retold inchronological order?

Are there enough details tomake the experience real forthe reader?

Does the letter’s conclusionshow why the experiencewas important?

Revision Techniques

Add an interesting question orbrief story, if necessary.

Add information or replace un-clear information with morehelpful details.

Rearrange events in the orderthey happened, if necessary.

Elaborate on the experience byadding descriptive language tohelp the reader “see” it.

Add thoughts or feelings thatwill show the importance of theevent.

Eyewitness-Account Letter: Content and Organization Guidelines for Self-Evaluation and Peer Evaluation

Eyewitness-Account Letter: Content and Organization Guidelines for Self-Evaluation and Peer Evaluation

1

2

3

4

5

Evaluate and Revise Content,Organization, and StyleChecking It Twice When revising your first draft or evaluatinga peer’s, read through it at least twice. In the first reading, look at thecontent and organization of the letter, using the guidelines below. Inthe second reading, examine the letter at the sentence level, usingthe Focus on Word Choice on page 38.

First Reading: Content and Organization Use the chart belowto evaluate and revise your eyewitness account so it is clear and interesting.


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Second Reading: Style You have already evaluated and re-vised what you say in your letter. Now look at how you say it. Lookclosely at each of your sentences to polish your writing. For this as-signment, focus on using precise nouns and adjectives to create clearand descriptive writing. Use the following guidelines and the Focuson Word Choice on the next page to see if you need more exactwords in your writing.

37Writing Workshop

People were stamping their feet to keep warm in the

twenty-degree weather. The snow was crunching under

our feet. My skin felt tight and prickly, and I could see my

breath on the chilly air. As we waited, we talked about how

good the half-pipe looked. A half-pipe is snow packed into

a U-shape, about 10 feet high and 360 feet long.

ONE WRITER’S REVISIONS This revision is an early draft of theletter on page 33.

Responding to the Revision Process1. Why do you think the writer added a sentence to the end of this

passage?

2. What is the effect of the other additions the writer made to thepassage?

sounded like pieces of plastic foam rubbing together.

in puffs of fog

It is like a big

gray add

add

add

add

If you are evaluating apeer’s eyewitnessaccount, ask yourself:� Can I picture the

events the writer isdescribing?

� Does the order of theaccount make sense?

PEER REVIEW

Reference Note

For more on precisewords, see page 31.

Tip

Draw a wavy line under precisenouns and adjectives.

Evaluation Question

Does the account use precisenouns or adjectives thatclearly describe the event?

Revision Technique

If you see few wavy lines, lookthrough your letter for dull nouns or adjectives. Replace them withdescriptive ones.

Style GuidelinesStyle Guidelines

pipe that has been cut in half.


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Precise Nouns and Adjectives“How was that thing you went to?”“It was nice.”That brief dialogue did not tell you much, did it? Nouns like

“thing” and adjectives like “nice” are vague. Vague words—wordsthat are not clear or precise—cannot give the reader of an eyewit-ness account enough information to understand what happened.Precise words quickly tell a reader exactly what a writer means.

� Precise nouns illustrate particular persons, places, or things. Anoise can become a clank, squeak, clatter, shriek, or rattle.

� Precise adjectives describe nouns specifically. A fun amusement-park ride can be transformed into a thrilling, exhilarating, pulse-pounding ride.

Do not settle for vague, dull words in your eyewitness accounts.Make an impression with precise words.

Word Choice

If you cannotthink of the precisenoun or adjective forwhat you are describing,use a thesaurus. Lookup the word you wantto change and you willfind many synonyms—different ways of ex-pressing a similar idea.

T I P

The loud sounds of the boards in the snow were soon

muted by the loud sounds of the people.

ONE WRITER’S REVISIONS

Responding to the Revision ProcessHow did adding precise words improve the sentence above?

whooshing and crunching

whooping cheers crowd.

Evaluating and Revising YourEyewitness Account

� First, evaluate and revise the content and organization of your let-ter following the guidelines on page 36.

� Next, use the Focus on Word Choice above to help you use moreprecise nouns and adjectives.

� Finally, have a peer evaluate your paper. Think carefully about yourpeer’s comments as you revise.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 88


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ACTICEACTICEPRPR

Writing Workshop

PublishingPublishing

Punctuating Dialogue

39

You may include dialogue, exact wordsspoken by people, in your account. Punc-tuate dialogue correctly so your reader cantell the dialogue from the rest of the text.

Use quotation marks to enclose a person’sexact words.

Incorrect Ouch Dad said did you see thatfall?

Correct “Ouch!” Dad said. “Did you seethat fall?”

� A direct quotation begins with a capitalletter. Commas, a question mark, or an ex-clamation point can separate the dialoguefrom the rest of the sentence.

Examples:The weather person said, “There is aseventy-percent chance of snow today.”“Should I wear boots?” Grace asked.

� When the expression identifying thespeaker interrupts a quotation, commas setoff the expression. The second part of thequotation then begins with a small letter.

Example:“I like to ski,” Ian said, “but I don’t liketo wait in the lines.”

� A period or comma always goes inside theclosing quotation marks.

Examples:“The snowboarding exhibition begins at9:00 A.M.,” said the ticket taker.

Dad remarked, “We have time to getsome hot apple cider.”

Punctuate the dialogue in each of the fol-lowing sentences.

1. It’s too bad that snowboarding can beexpensive said Henry.

2. When you think about it Isabel sighedeverything can be expensive.

3. Do you think individual lessons are lessexpensive Naomi wondered.

4. Let’s take lessons during the winter breakRoshanda suggested.

5. I really like the clothes snowboarderswear Cesar added especially the hats.

For more information and practice on punc-tuating dialogue, see pages 630–635.

Proofread Your Eyewitness AccountSecond Opinions Errors in your final letter will distract yourreader. If you ask another person to proofread the letter after youhave gone through it, you will be more likely to find all the mistakes.


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Publish Your Eyewitness AccountShow the World It is finally time to send your letter. You cannow put it in an envelope and mail it, or you can e-mail it in a flash.However, with a few changes you can also use your letter in otherways. Take off the salutation and cut out any direct references toyour audience, and you simply have an eyewitness account. Whatare some things you can do with an eyewitness account?

� Submit your eyewitness account to your local or school newspaperas an article describing the event.

� Submit it to your school’s yearbook as a historical record of eventsin your area, or include it in a class chronicle of the year’s events.

� Narrative and descriptive writing are often read aloud. You mightread your eyewitness account to classmates.

Reflect on Your Eyewitness AccountBuilding Your Portfolio Take time to reflect on your finishedletter. Reflecting will help you strengthen your narrative and de-scriptive writing skills. Think about how you can use this kind ofwriting for other projects.

� What was the best description in your paper? Why do you think itwas effective?

� How did you use sensory language, precise words, dialogue, andfigures of speech in your writing? How could you use these typesof descriptive language in other forms of writing?

� In what other forms of writing could you use narration? In whatkinds of writing assignments would chronological organization behelpful?


COM P UTE R T I P

If you choose to e-mailyour letter, you do nothave to write it in one sit-ting. Most e-mail pro-grams will let you save adraft, so you can work onyour letter in stages.

Proofreading, Publishing, andReflecting on Your Eyewitness Account

� Correct any grammar, usage, and mechanics errors. Be especiallycareful to punctuate dialogue correctly.

� Publish your eyewitness account.

� Answer the Reflect on Your Eyewitness Account questions above.Write your responses in a learning log, or include them in your portfolio.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 99

P O R T F O L I O


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Connections to

41Writing Workshop

Writing a Descriptive EssayEyewitness accounts and descriptive essaysare both based on observation. A descrip-tive essay focuses on an object, such as astatue or car; on a place, such as a room orpark; or on a person.

Two important skills to master in pre-paring to write a descriptive essay are mak-ing observations and using spatial organi-zation.

What You See Is What They’ll GetClose, accurate observation is essential towriting a descriptive essay. After all, howcan you describe something unless youknow exactly what it looks like? Once youchoose the subject of your essay, you shouldspend at least twenty minutes observing it.

When you write the essay, you’ll wantto use descriptive language: sensory de-tails, figures of speech, and exact words.You will show your object rather than tellabout it. Asking questions about your sub-ject can help you develop and record spe-cific details for your essay.

� What colors do you see?

� What size is the object, person, or placein relation to the surroundings?

� What shape or shapes do you see?

� What specific adjectives describe the ob-ject, person, or place?

� Can you create a simile or metaphor bycomparing the object, person, or placeto something else?

As you observe, focus on the specialcharacteristics that draw your attention tothe object, person, or place.

Filling Up Space An effective way toorganize a descriptive essay is by describ-ing items according to their location. Usingthis spatial organization technique, youwill start your description at a certainpoint and then move in a logical wayaround your subject. For example, if youwere describing a dog, you might startwith the dog’s face and then move alonghis body to his tail. Organize the descrip-tion in your essay so that it moves

� from top to bottom or bottom to top

� from near to far or far to near

� from left to right or right to left

� from inside to out or outside to in

Picture This As you read the descrip-tion on the next page, notice how authorJamaica Kincaid uses specific details andspatial organization when describing achild’s bedroom.

next to

down

close

across from

up

far

between

around

near

Words Showing Spatial Organization


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Now You Try Think of the object,person, or place you want to describe.Choose a subject with plenty of details.

After you have written a first draft, re-vise your essay by following the sugges-tions in the next column.

� Add details about the subject’s shape,size, or color.

� Include information about its overall ap-pearance or atmosphere.

� Rearrange information to make the spa-tial organization clearer.

Lying there in the half-dark of my room, I couldsee my shelf, with my books—some of them prizes Ihad won in school, some of them gifts from mymother—and with photographs of people I was sup-posed to love forever no matter what, and with myold thermos, which was given to me for my eighthbirthday, and some shells I had gathered at differenttimes I spent at the sea. In one corner stood my wash-stand and its beautiful basin of white enamel withblooming red hibiscus painted at the bottom and anurn that matched. In another corner were my oldschool shoes and my Sunday shoes. In still anothercorner, a bureau held my old clothes. I knew every-thing in the room, inside out and outside in. I hadlived in this room for thirteen of my seventeen years.I could see in my mind’s eye even the day my fatherwas adding it onto the rest of the house. Everywhere Ilooked stood something that had meant a lot to me,that had given me pleasure at some point, or could re-mind me of a time that was a happy time. But as I waslying there my heart could have burst open with joy atthe thought of never having to see any of it again.

Jamaica Kincaid, Annie John

Description ofimportant

objects in room

Descriptionmoves from

wall down to corner

Descriptionmoves from

corner tocorner

Explanation ofthe room’s

meaning to the writer

Writing a Descriptive EssayBefore you write your descriptive essay, observe your subject for atleast twenty minutes and record details. Then, use spatial organiza-tion to organize your observations and write your essay. Finally, re-vise your essay to make it clearer and more descriptive.

YOURTURNYOURTURN 1010


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Connections to

43Writing Workshop

A Descriptive PoemAn eyewitness account captures an event.A haiku captures a moment. A haiku is aspecial form of poetry that vividly de-scribes a moment in nature.

Short and Sweet Japanese poetsbegan writing haiku hundreds of years agoto capture a quick, clear image from nature.

The elements of haiku are simple. Thepoem has only three lines with a total ofseventeen syllables. A syllable is part of aword that can be pronounced by itself. Forexample, the word thunder has two sylla-bles, thun– and –der. In a haiku, the firstand last lines contain five syllables each.The middle line has seven syllables. Noticethe syllables in the following haiku.

It’s Natural The traditional topic for ahaiku is a moment in nature. Possible top-ics include a scene, such as a park or na-

ture trail; an event, such as a tornado or asunrise; an action, such as a bird flying; afeeling, such as an ocean breeze.

Choose a moment that you can describevividly. Then, brainstorm details about themoment. You can use the senses of smell,hearing, taste, or touch, as well as sight.

Not all details are equal, though. A de-tail such as a pretty beach doesn’t paint aspecific picture for readers. However, thewords pebbled sand, scattered footprints,and abandoned sand castles do. Notice theprecise details in the example haiku. Seepage 38 for help in using precise words.

Get Choosy To write your haiku,choose your best details and arrange theminto three lines. Then, rearrange and re-place words until you have re-created themoment and the feeling you want.

Once you have written a first draft ofyour haiku, revise it to make sure it

� clearly describes a moment in nature

� uses precise words

� captures a feeling

� contains five syllables in the first and lastlines and seven in the middle line

The light•ning flash•es! (5)And slash•ing through the dark•ness (7)

A night-her•on’s screech. (5)Matsuo Basho–, translated by Earl Minor

Writing a HaikuFollow the steps above to write and revise a haiku. Share your haikuby reading it aloud or illustrating it and putting it on display.

YOURTURNYOURTURN1111


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1123 account writting

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