10.9 Human Relationships

8/19/2019 10.9 Human Relationships

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Human Relationships UNIT NINE



Using our understanding of who we are as human

persons, as Christians and members of the Church andusing the lens of discernment, conscience andprudence, we are to look at key issues in our societyand apply our key understandings to respond.



What is the Christian understanding of

?How can we respect and valuehuman relationships?human relationship s genuine



Another Lens



LOVE



What is LOVE?



4 Cases Is LOVE present or not present

in the situations given?



I define love thus: The will to extend one's

self for the pu rpose of nu rtu r ing one 's ownor another's spiritual growth.M. Scott Peck. (1978). The Road Less Travelled.



Authentic love rises above feelings, which aretemporary and goes away.

Love is an act of the will and therefore, entailsa free decision and effortful commitment, or adaily yes to love the other even at times when

they are difficult to love.



How were we able to derive thisunderstanding of love even if we

have no or limited experience?



What does our understanding of who we are tell us about LOVE?

We human beings are created in God'simage and likeness and therefore, called tolove in the way God loves.




We are relational beings. It is our verynature to share our lives with others and inthis sharing, we become more and more who God intended us to be.




Because God is love, it is what enabled us tobe and it is ingrained in who we are.



It is through Jesus Christ

that Godshowed how

much He

loves us.



4 LOVES

EROS

STORGE

PHILIA

AGAPE

Agape suggests that there is more toloving than what the other three can give- a love manifested by Christ.



Howdoes

Christ

love?



Merciful

Love is not only for those who are love-able or those who are easy to love.

True Christian loving involves those whoare difficult to love - our enemies. Theydeserve love too.

In our day and age, Pope Francis calls thepeople who are difficult to love as those inthe peripheries. We find them difficult to

love because they are different from us.

God loves each and every person equallywith the same passion and intensity.



Selfless/Sacrificing

Great love involves sacrifice. It is alwaysother-directed and not self-directed.

It takes delight in being given away even

when there is nothing received in return.

God did not have to create us but he didso out of love. He gave us freedomknowing that we may use it not to

respond to him in love but in sin. Godallowed himself to be vulnerable.

Jesus on the cross is the proof of God’simmense and gratuitous love for us.



Faithful

The agony in the garden may not specifically

say something about love but it shows us

how Christ passionately loves the Father.

His love comes in the form of fidelity orfaithfulness. It was so great that even in themidst of his doubts and fears, he entrusted

himself to the will of God.

Fidelity is about our daily yes to our beloved

even if we do not know what lies ahead.

God continued to be faithful despite our

shortcomings. He still loves us no matter

what.



Look at the quality of your relationships

with your friends, family or your specialsomeone, rate your love for them in termsof how Christ shows his love for us.



…did not just practice humanloving. He showed us what an

authentic practice of human

love is. Christian love.

Jesus …elevated human love to a

divine love. But, he showed usthat divine love is possible for us

human persons.

…showed us that if we remain

true to who we are, we can

achieve the perfect love heshowed.



Love oneanother as Ihave loved

you.- Jn 15:11-13 -



What is ‘LOVE’?

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous,[love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it isnot rude, it does not seek its own interests, it

is not quick-tempered, it does not brood overinjury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoingbut rejoices with the truth. It bears all things,believes all things, hopes all things, enduresall things.

Paul’s Hymn of Love (1 Corinthians 13)

So faith, hope, love remain, these three; butthe greatest of these is love.



God created man in His own image andlikeness… God is love and in Himself He lives amystery of personal loving communion.Creating the human race in His own image

and continually keeping it in being, Godinscribed in the humanity of man and womanthe vocation, and thus the capacity andresponsibility, of love and communion. Love is

therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.



Family




?How can we respect and value

human relationships?

human relationship s genuine




? Why is family important bothin providing and valuing


family genuine



CASE B: Jim was the eldest child of the Tan family. His dad was grooming him to take over

their paper products family business. It is now an enterprise but it had humblebeginnings and it was his grandfather that made it a success story. Jim is actuallyinterested in what they do because every week, his dad used to bring him to work to meetthe people and see their products. So in preparation for his future, Jim took up BusinessAdministration and Entrepreneurship to be able to get the necessary skills to be able tohelp out in the business. However, there came a heated exchange between his parentsand Jim after lunch one Sunday. His parents told him that they would prefer that hepursue a girl from rich Chinese families to safeguard the hard work of their grandfather.Jim was contesting it because his choice of a partner should not affect his work in their

business. To make matters more complicated, Jim is already in a three-monthrelationship with a girl he met in school. She is not Chinese and she is not that wealthy.What should he do?



Among those who are filial toward their parents and fraternaltoward their brothers, those who are inclined to offend against

their superiors are few indeed. Among those who are disinclined to

offend against their superiors, there have never been any who are

yet inclined to create disorder. The noble person concerns himself

with the root; when the root is established, the Way is born. Beingfilial and fraternal — is this not the root of humaneness?

filial piety



filial piety

PRO v. CONDo we really have to follow them all the time?



What is the importance of ? family



WIDOW’S SONLuke 7:11-15

JAIRUS’ DAUGHTER

Luke 8:40-42,49-56



WIDOW’S SONLuke 7:11-15

Why was raising the son significant

to the widow?



JAIRUS’ DAUGHTER

Luke 8:40-42,49-56

Why would Jairus throw himself in

front of Jesus?



What truths about can we inferfrom these Gospel passages? family



The mere reality that Jesus was born in and raisedby a family tells us that it is essential to the life ofevery human person.

“So great was his love that he [God] began to walk with mankind, he began to walkalongside his people, until the right time came and then he gave the greatestdemonstration of love: his Son. And where did he send his Son? To a palace, to a city,to an office building? He sent him to a family. God came into the world in a family.And he could do this because that family was a family with a heart open to love, afamily whose doors were open.”

Pope Francis, Address at the Feast of Families, Philadelphia, 27 September 2015



The family is the first school of humanity.

It is through our families that we learn how to be human - to decide, to interact, torelate, to love, to face our fears, to celebrate our triumphs and to rise up from ourfailures.

The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband andwife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a lifeof relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, andfraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one canlearn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is aninitiation into life in society.

Catechism of the Catholic Church 2207



The family is the domestic Church.

It is in the family that we first know about God and it is there that we get anexperience of how God loves. Our family teaches us about what it means to behuman and it is in this family that we are nurtured and cared for. It is here that weget to experience parental love, a love that is almost similar to God's love. At the sametime, the family provides us with the basic unit of evangelization. It is through ourfamily that we can share God's love to the world. By fulfilling our roles andresponsibilities as parent or child, we become instruments of God's love to the worldvia our families.



The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesialcommunion, and for this reason it can and should be called a domestic church. It is acommunity of faith, hope, and charity; it assumes singular importance in theChurch. The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of thecommunion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit. In the procreation andeducation of children it reflects the Father's work of creation. It is called to partake ofthe prayer and sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God

strengthen it in charity. The Christian family has an evangelizing and missionarytask.

The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections andinterests, arising above all from the members' respect for one another. The family is aprivileged community called to achieve a "sharing of thought and commondeliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the

children's upbringing."

Catechism of the Catholic Church 2204-2206



What would have happened to me had Inot been born in a ? family



Does the understanding of filial pietymatch how our faith views the ? family



Does this understanding match how ourfaith views the ?

family Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those

who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their

children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom,and grace. "With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget

the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents

you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their giftto you?”

Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. "My son, keep

your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's

teaching. . . . When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down,they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with

you." "A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not

listen to rebuke."

CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH 2215-2216



Does this understanding match how ourfaith views the ?

family 1.Filial Piety. There is an understandable misconception about filial piety, that it is an

absolute order of being subordinate to our parents’ whims. However, we realize that

filial piety is more than just being properties of our parents. Filial piety is the basic

respect given to parents as a result of gratitude toward their gift of life, love, and work

—and this respect can be shown in particular ways.

2.Honor. Honor makes social order possible. Honoring parents is not only an individual

responsibility, but also a societal necessity. Honor is a product of love, however to

honor does not mean to follow in blind obedience. Children should also be wary and

prudent enough to recognize when the parent is leading him/her to sin, and succumb

instead to their well-formed consciences.

3.Respect. Children obey their parents by being more compassionate, moreunderstanding of what their parents are thinking, of what they need and what they

afraid of. That way they can assess the best way to fulfill their wishes. However, this

obedience should extend even during the advanced ages of their parents, where they

are now subject to the consequences of old age. This is the reason why the son was so

important to the widow who had no other source of livelihood.



SEXUALITY




?How can we respect and value


human relationship s genuine



What is the Christian understanding of? How can an authentic

understanding of human sexuality helpus in building and promoting


sexuality

genuine



SURVEY STATEMENTS1. Most sixteen-year olds cannot have a deeply loving sexual

relationship.2. Boys are more interested in sexual intercourse; girls are more

interested in romance.3. Sexually explicit movies, videos or magazines are harmful and

should be illegal or at least highly restricted and regulated.

4. Sex sells. The advertising industry thrives by using sex as ameans to sell their products.5. I would be very upset if I were to be treated as a sexual object.



Do we really understandsex & sexuality?



What comes to mind whenwe hear the word SEX?



Categorize your answers. Group

them according to similar threads.



How must we

understand sex &sexuality, then?



SEXUALITY

The word SEX comes from secar e, to separate. This ishighlighted by the gender differences but thesedifferences show our complementarity.

SEXUALITY is part of our lives that draws us out ofourselves and urges us to seek union with others.

SEXUAL ACTS result from behaviors, experiences orfeelings brought about by our sexuality. Sexuality isnot all about sexual acts.



SEXUALITY is partof our lives that drawsus out of ourselves andurges us to seek union

with others.

AUTHENTICCHRISTIAN LOVE

NATUREOFTHE

HUMANPERSON

GOD



SEXUALITY signifies an essential dimension of thewhole person, by which he/she enters intorelationship with others. It thus touches every

aspect of personal life, and has to be developed byall men and women just as life itself must be.

Catechism for Filipino Catholics 1069(NCDP 287; cf. CCC 2332)



BASIS FOR OUR

SEXUAL NATUREMan and woman constitute

two modes of “imaging” Godand they fully accomplish

such a vocation not only assingle persons but also ascouples, communities in love.

cf. CFC 1070-1073



“In creating the humanrace ‘male and female’God gives man andwoman an equalpersonal dignity,endowing them with theinalienable rights and

responsibilities proper tothe human person”

CONSEQUENCE 1



By their distinctivesexuality, man andwoman are bothdifferent andcomplementary, not onlyin their physical andbiological being, but

reaching down to thedepth of their moral andspiritual being.

CONSEQUENCE 2



Man and woman arecalled to mutual gift of

self, to a reciprocity. Oursexuality then becomes arelational power through

which we can show

understanding, warmth,openness and compassionto others.

CONSEQUENCE 3



Sexuality is for love. Itorients every man andwoman towardinterpersonal dialogueand contributes to theirintegral maturation byopening them up to the

gift of self in love.

CONSEQUENCE 4



Sexuality, oriented, elevated and integrated by love, acquirestruly human quality. Prepared by biological and psychologicaldevelopment, it grows harmoniously and is achieved in the fullsense only with the realization of affective maturity, whichmanifests itself in unselfish love and in the total gift of self



AL is already in his teenage years. He noticed that he startsdeveloping attraction towards ladies. He remembers pretty

faces of girls he met in school. More and more, he discoverschanges in his body. As he continues to think about the girlshe met, there is this one girl who makes his body warm upand he feels the need to satisfy his bodily urges. He talked tohis older brother about it and his brother said, “It’s just likequenching your thirst. If you need to satisfy it, you have to do

it.” From then on, to satisfy himself, he keeps on looking atthe pictures of this girl and stores them in his iPad.



The way we view our bodies reflect theway we view our sexuality.



So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall uponthe man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribsand closed up its place with flesh. And the rib thatthe Lord God had taken from the man he madeinto a woman and brought her to the man. Thenthe man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and

flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman,for out of Man this one was taken.” Therefore aman leaves his father and his mother and clings tohis wife, and they become one flesh. And the manand his wife were both naked, and were notashamed.

Genesis 2:21-25



EMBODIED SPIRITS



EMBODIED SPIRITSGod created us both body

and spirit in complete unionwith one another.



EMBODIED SPIRITSHuman persons are not only

bodies, subject only tobiological processes. We are

both body and spirit.



BODY | FLESH

As Christians, we view ourselvesas God’s creation - our lives asgift. Therefore, our body must beconsidered sacred.

Also, as rational beings, we werecreated to be bigger than oururges. We were given thecapacity to use our will anddiscern.



And the Word becameflesh and lived among us,and we have seen hisglory, the glory as of afather’s only son, full ofgrace and truth.

John 1:14

The sacredness of our bodies can be found in theperson of Jesus Christ. In the Incarnation, God chose to

be with us and be like us in everything but sin.

By living the way he did, Jesus redeemed our bodies aswell. Rather than it being a source of sin, it is a vesselfor holiness.



BODY | FLESH

Our bodies become a sacred signof God’s love in us. Our bodies

serve as the visible instruments ofGod’s love to others.

Our daily decisions in using our

bodies should reflect God’s loveat all times.



Have I been using my body to showGod’s love to others? How?



FRANKIE questions how masturbation is “sin” because (1) ofits private nature and that it does not affect or hurt others and(2) studies show there may be scientific benefits from

masturbation.

If we were to talk about masturbation from the perspective ofembodied spirits, how must we view masturbation then?



SEXUALITY

As embodied spirits, when we seek union withothers, it is not only a physical union, it is anintegrated physical-spiritual-psychological-emotionalunion. INTEGRAL SEXUALITY

SEXUALITY is part of our lives that draws us out ofourselves and urges us to seek union with others.

This gift allows us to express and fulfill our identityas human persons, which is to image God, love theway God loves and participate in His creative actionto “be fruitful and multiply.”

WHAT IF



WHAT IF…I’m with the one I love.

We respect our bodies.We feel that it’s the right time.We are in the heat of the

moment.I want to raise the way werelate to one another.

CAN WE?

SHOULD WE?



Why hold back?



3 POINTS-OF-VIEW



If it feels good, do it.This POV requires only mutual consent for the

sexual act. Thus, it views the act only as recreational.

No need to get to know the other. No need for longlasting commitment and responsibility for the other.



As long as we’re in love,we can do it.

This POV presupposes an emotional relationshipbefore engaging in the act.

Emotions are temporary. When it’s not there, therules of the game change.



We are in a committedrelationship anyway.

What’s stopping them from being married?

It shows lack of commitment andresponsibility for the other.

The act is compartmentalized and not

viewed in an integrated manner.

INTEGRATED VIEW f



INTEGRATED VIEW of

SEXUAL INTERCOURSE



SEXUAL INTERCOURSE

Sex is good. It is the highest form of expressing one’sauthentic love. Sex has to mirror the love of God forus. Because of this, it does not only involve pleasureor physical attraction, it involves the entire being.

Understanding INTEGRAL SEXUALITY, we must alsounderstand that the act of SEXUAL INTERCOURSE should be viewed & treated in an integrated manner.

Sexual intercourse should be both physical andspiritual. If authentic love involves spiritual growth,then the act should reflect one’s authentic love for theother.



Sexual intercourse must increase the unity betweenindividuals who engage in them. The act involves full self-giving to the other - surrendering oneself to the other’s loveand care. It is the highest and deepest form of love

expression because it is an integrated love expression.

UNITIVE PURPOSE



Sexual intercourse involves procreation. It is the only actthat allow us to participate in God’s creative power. Wehave to know that in engaging in such activity, we must beopen to the possibility of new life. Having children is the

fruit of the integral love that exists between two people.

PROCREATIVE PURPOSE



It is disordered to separate the twopurposes of sexual intercourse.

This does not mean that

every act of sexual intercourse

must result in conception!

It ’s wrong to

deliberately deny or hinder

either aspect of the act -

unitive or procreative.

H d k th f



How do we make sense then of…

PORNOGRAPHYCONTRACEPTION

SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE

POLYGAMYHOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY

SEXUAL ACTIVITY



SEXUAL ACTIVITY must…

Take place within marriageBe of loving intent & actionComplete in a way that doesnot refuse the possibility offertility

PRUDENT SELF EXAMINATION



PRUDENT SELF-EXAMINATION:• Are you violating one of the basic

principles of the sexual act?

• Examine your intentions. Is itreally a loving act?

• Is there something about the actitself that prevents it from beingloving? For example, is itsomehow degrading, abusive,dangerous, or obviously selfish?



Marriage is just a

license to engage insexual intercourse.



Marriage provides context forsexual intercourse.

What makes it an appropriate context?

Sexual intercourse realizes



Marriage provides a way for twopersons in love to show love and

commitment to one another.

Sexual intercourse realizesits true meaning in loving

commitment.

“Sexual intercourse is an act ofself-revelation, self-expression, &self-giving which is so completethat it bears the potential ofcreating another human being.”

I N

P U R

S U I T O F L

O V E

V i n c e n t G e

n o v e s i , S . J .



I N

P U R

S U I T O F L O V E

V i n c e n t G e

n o v e s i , S . J .

Not only do I care for you, but I

also want to take care of you.Not only do I respond sensitivelyand physically to you, but I alsowant to be responsible for youunconditionally.

For an act to be moral it



Sexual intercourse should occur withinthe context of marriage, which is a

social institution designed both to assista couple in living their vocation aslovers and to offer them some protectionagainst the enemies and abuses of lovethat arise from immaturity and self-

centeredness.

For an act to be moral, itmust be truly human. For

an act to be human, itmust be socially sensitive.

Marriage publicly testifies to theloving commitment of two people. I N

P U R

S U I T O F L O V E

V i n c e n t G e

n o v e s i , S . J .

Everything we do towards



Sexual intercourse is an act thatmust also reflect this kind of

loving. It’s integrated unitive andprocreative purpose reflect how wecan love the way God loves.

Everything we do towardsothers must reflect God’s

love for us.

It would be very difficult to beopen to taking care of anotherhuman person and to promisepermanent fidelity if not in thecontext of marriage.

I N

P U R

S U I T O F L O V E

V i n c e n t G e

n o v e s i , S . J .



I have taken you in my arms,and I love you,

and I prefer you to my life itself.For the present life is nothing,and my most ardent dreamis to spend it with youin such a way that we may be

assured of not being separatedin the life reserved for us. .

.

.

I place your love above all things,and nothing would be more bitter

or painful to me than to beof a different mind than you.

St. John Chrysostom



A sacrament is a privilegedencounter with God. It is throughsacramental acts that we receivesanctifying grace.

Marriage is a sacrament.

Entering into marriage, a couple promiseslove, fidelity and commitment the way Godwas loving, faithful and committed to hispeople and Jesus to His Church.

I N

P U R

S U I T O F L O V E

V i n c e n t G e

n o v e s i , S . J .

In this encounter, couples receive God’s graceto help them live out their covenant to oneanother - including in the practice of sexualintercourse.

FOUR GOALS



FOUR GOALS• Physical-sexual activity is linked to

bearing and raising children.• Physical union represents full and

complete sharing of life in love betweentwo people.

• Sexuality finds meaning in relation tocommunity.

• Marriage is a sacrament, thus, sexualityand sexual expression must reflectmarriage’s sacramentality.



CHASTITY

INTEGRAL SEXUALITY



INTEGRAL SEXUALITY

Therefore, for sexuality to be true to itself as anexpression of love, the virtue of CHASTITY isnecessary.

INTEGRAL SEXUALITY tells us that the humanperson is both body and spirit. The human personwho loves is not just body and not just spirit. It is thewhole person who expresses oneself sexually.

Chastity is the successful integration of sexuality inthe inner union of man's body and soul. It maintainsthe integrity of the person and the integrality ofsexuality.

CHASTITY



CHASTITYIt is the virtue that helps us control our sexual desires and use

them appropriately according to our situation in life. It is tiedto the virtue of temperance.

It enables us to treat our sexuality and that of others with

utmost respect.



CHASTE LIFE

To live a chaste life in marriage requires a husband and wife tobe sensitive to how they relate

to each other sexually andalways to be faithful to theirmarriage vows.



CHASTE LIFECouples engaged to be marriedare chaste when they exercise

self-control and refrain from anysexual activity, like intercoursethat God intends for married

couples alone.



CHASTE LIFE

Single people and men andwomen who have taken

religious vows must practice

self-restraint by abstaining fromsexual activity.



ABSTINENCE

Abstinence is the positive choice not to engage insexual intercourse outside of marriage. To decide

for abstinence is a mature and responsible

decision and frees people to relate to others aspersons of dignity, not objects for self-gratification.

VIRTUE OF CHASTITY



VIRTUE OF CHASTITY

We can resist sexual temptation by exercising prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance. We are to understand thecommandments and the teachings of the Church. We canresort to prayer.

Chastity requires SELF-MASTERY. It trains us to be truly free.We can either control our passions or we allow them toenslave us. We can consciously and freely choose the rightthing to do even if it’s against our urges.

Chastity entails patience. It is a life-long endeavour. Itrequires discipline at all stages of life (may necessary be extraeffort at some stages).

Chastity is grace. We need to exert effort and yet continue toask for it from God in prayer.



How must I practice chastity?

10.9 Human Relationships

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