10 rules to text to girls
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Transcript of 10 rules to text to girls
How to Text Girls�to Get Dates, Phone Calls and More
Table of Contents Part 1: What’s Wrong with Texting Today 3
Relying on guesswork ………………………………………………………………………………… 5 Failing women who like you ………………………………………………………………………… 7 Losing focus on the goal ………………………………………………………………………………… 9
Part 2: 10 Rules of Texting 10
Part 3: Conclusion 17
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Part 1: According to 2011 data from AT&T, roughly 5 billion text messages are sent every day in the United States alone. That’s a 100% increase from merely 2 years earlier, in 2009. Text messages have become an ever greater part of our communicaIon – parIcularly between single men and women. But we have to ask: does texIng work for geLng dates?
What’s Wrong with Texting Today
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We’re all looking for ways to more efficiently and effecIvely communicate with the people we like and want to get to know beQer. The great advantage of text messaging has been that it enables individuals to communicate in short snippets that let the recipient respond when she has a chance instead of having to decide in the moment whether to respond or not, as she would with a phone call. But despite text messaging’s ubiquity and familiarity, most men sIll haven’t figured out how to use it to get dates.
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In fact, out of all the emails, messages, and comments we receive at GirlsChase.com, guys wan)ng to know what to text next to a girl or how to interpret a girl’s tex)ng behavior remain some of the most frequent requests. TexIng remains a mysterious and poorly understood medium for communicaIng between the sexes.
Relying on guesswork
Guessing doesn’t get you dates. Quick – what’s your process for geLng dates via text message? If you’re like the vast majority of guys out there, your answer is this: “I don’t have one.” Know anyone who guesses their way to success regularly with anything? So why do so many men keep trying to guess with something as important as geLng dates with the girls they like?
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Guessing frequently leads to bea)ng around the bush Guys texIng girls they like frequently resort to trying to be interesIng, sound cool, be funny, or – even worse – build a connecIon with a girl over text message before asking her out. A connecIon built over text! Sounds preQy silly when you put it that way, doesn’t it? But guys keep doing it. What happens? The girl knows they’re beaIng around the bush and it’s a turnoff.
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Most guys cause their own frustra)on. You’ll find most guys come in 1 of 2 styles:
• Too safe (beaIng around the bush), or • Too forward (leLng it all hang out)
And if styles don’t work… they keep using them anyway!
Failing women who like you
Imagine for a second that you’re not you, but rather a girl that you like. And you meet some guy, and think he’s cute, and you hope he’s cool… and that he’ll ask you out. Then he starts texIng you funny things about his day… and trying to be clever… and sending you lots of long geLng-‐to-‐know-‐you style texts. And this goes on… and on… and on. He doesn’t ask you out… he just… keeps… TEXTING. S)ll hoping he’ll ask you out?
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Bea)ng around the bush destroys girls’ pa)ence… and their interest in YOU. No girl wants to wait forever for some guy to pull the trigger. And very few girls will wait forever – most of the Ime, you’re not the only guy who’s texIng her. And if you’re not geLng down to business with her, there’s a good chance someone else a liQle more… moIvated, perhaps… will. Being too forward can be a kiss of death though, too. Whether that’s too forward as in, “I really like you,” or too forward as in, “Here, take a look at this picture of my mem ,” leLng it all hang out is NOT an effecIve texIng strategy, unless you’re overpoweringly aQracIve and she’s already dying to see you. And even if she is, she’d probably sIll like a liQle intrigue to keep her guessing. No need to disappoint her by holding up a glaring sign that says, “HEY, I REALLY LIKE YOU! YOU FEEL THE SAME?”
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Losing focus on the goal How oien have you taken a girl’s number because you really wanted to: • Get into hours-‐ or days-‐long text conversaIons? • Finally have someone to text all the details of your day to? • Find a new buddy for comparing notes on the latest romcom with? • Discuss the latest trends in fashion – what’s “in” this season, anyway? • Have someone to complain to about your teacher / boss / turtle? Probably none of those, right? So why’d you get her number again? Oh, right – so you could see her again. But if that’s the case, why do so many guys start doing all that other stuff instead?
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Part 2: As wonderful a tool as texIng is, its actual value as a medium for connecIng people more oien than not falls short – both for the person trying to do the connecIng, and the person he’s trying to connect with. Understanding the rules of texIng can help you to make beQer decisions about how to do your own texIng – and both create a beQer experience for the women you meet, and a much greater chance that you’ll see them again.
10 Rules of Texting
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10 Rules of Texting 1. Above all else, sIck to the
point
2. Break the ice fast
3. Don’t be silly or crack too many jokes
4. Keep things brief
5. Don’t take too long
6. If it feels like it’s taking too long, it is
7. Don’t “tell all.” Just don’t
8. Don’t pretend you aren’t interested, either
9. Get her schedule
10. Tell her what to do (it’s easy)
10 Rules of Texting Most guys today have never bothered to get down the basic fundamental rules of texIng. They (and the women they text) then suffer for this. We think that’s terrible. Up next, we’re going to go through (and explain) each of the 10 Rules of TexIng.
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1. S)ck to the point One of the reasons texIng works is because it’s a short, direct, and efficient means of communicaIon. Just like you feel annoyed every Ime you get a pointless-‐feeling text (“Why is this person texIng me this?”), girls do too. SIck to the point – and the point, with texIng, is that the two of you should meet.
2. Break the ice fast Ever get a first text or phone call from someone you met ages ago? Felt weird, right? Don’t put girls in that situaIon – a simple, “Hanna, great meeIng you today! – Mark,” a few hours aier meeIng her will do. Oh, and don’t forget your name – just in case she does!
3. Don’t be silly or crack too many jokes A lot of guys hear the well-‐known fact that women like a guy with a sense of humor and take that thought to its seemingly logical conclusion – “If girls like guys with a sense of humor, then just wait unIl they get a load of my rainbow wig and Bozo nose – they’ll love ME!” But what people actually mean when they say women like a guy with a sense of humor is that they love a guy who makes casual, wiQy, effortless remarks – not a guy who’s a laugh-‐a-‐minute and comes across like he’s playing the role of entertainer. So go easy on the laughs, Chuckles. It’s actually beQer cracking no jokes than too many.
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4. Keep things brief Have you ever goQen one of those really long text messages people someImes send, looked at it, and silently thought to yourself, “Why?” Don’t do that to girls – don’t be a burden. Instead, keep texts short, brief, and easy to reply to – or not. Like: “Heading to the café on Main near you. Let me know if you’re around and down to grab a tea.”
5. Don’t take too long By “take too long,” what I don’t mean is you just spent 20 minutes carefully craiing the perfect text. It’s debatable whether that’s a good use of your Ime, BUT she doesn’t know so it won’t hurt you. Rather, what I mean is, don’t spend weeks tex)ng back and forth before you ask her out. If you wait that long, you’ll have built it up into a much bigger deal than it should be… and if you wait that long, you’d beQer have one heck of an impressive pitch to get her to go out. Instead, just casually ask her out first thing aSer geTng her number. Easy. Much easier than trying to figure out how to do it weeks later.
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6. If it feels like it’s taking too long, it is Ever start geLng that feeling that things have been dragging on too long and you should do something… or should’ve done something ages ago? Well guess what – if you’re feeling that way, she probably is too. Or worse – it’s already too late. Learn to listen to this feeling: it’ll save you a lot of wasted Ime (and wasted phone numbers).
7. Don’t “tell all.” Just don’t You know what I mean: “Casey… look… I like you a lot. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I really care about you. I just had to tell you that.” First off, there are a number of things technically wrong with doing an emoIon dump on a woman via text. For instance, you’re effecIvely communicaIng to her: “Okay, I told you I liked you… now YOU do everything!” in an arena (daIng) where women are waiIng for MEN to take the lead. But besides that, this just drips of not really knowing much about her (otherwise you wouldn’t need to ask) and pushes a girl away. No maQer how tempIng it may be to “get it off your chest,” don’t do this one. Trust me here, you’ll thank me later.
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8. Don’t pretend you aren’t interested, either Why? Simple: if you ACT like you just want to be a girl’s friend, she’s going to TREAT you like you’re just a friend, THINK of you like just a friend, and meanIme she’ll be out daIng guys who didn’t hide their interest. Think she’s going to realize what a great guy you are? Guys always think this, and always end up disappointed. Even if she asks you what you’re aier or whether you like her, don’t say no – instead, build intrigue, like: “Ask me the next Ome we hang out. I’m sOll making up my mind…”
9. Get her schedule What happens if you text her, “Hey, are you free Saturday?” and the answer’s “no”? She instantly becomes a lot less likely to ever agree to meet up with you again (it’s a psychological thing – precedence, effecIvely), and you’re now chasing aier her and scrambling to find a date she’s open. Instead, text her this: “Annie, what’s your schedule like this week? Let’s grab a bite before the weekend.”
10. Tell her what to do (it’s easy) Many men will try to leave it up to the girl to pick what to do – “Okay, I’ll just let her decide, then she can pick something she likes and she’ll be more likely to want to go,” they think. Truth? Most women have no idea what they want to do on a date. Women look to men to lead here – so once you know when she’s free, pick a Ime, pick a place, tell her to meet you there at that Ime, and ask her if that sounds good. Easy, right?
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Texting that actually works Too commonly guys put a lot of pressure on themselves to make their text conversaIons “perfect.” They want to have enough wit, be impressive enough, and get a real conversaIon going over text. This misses the fact that text is a far poorer medium for doing any of this than being live and in-‐person – or than even a simple phone call. Here’s the most effecIve way you can come to view text messaging: as a da)ng-‐planning tool. Use it for handling your logisIcs – nothing more. Not every girl whose number you get will meet up with you, of course – but trust me, if she isn’t open to the idea of meeIng up with you right aier you trade phone numbers, she isn’t going to be any more open to meeIng up with you weeks or months down the road, either. So go for the meet fast – you’ll save yourself (and her) a lot of Ime, a lot of hassle, and a lot of heartache.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Chase Amante is the founder and president of Girls Chase, a rapidly-‐growing (and mildly controversial) men’s daOng advice company based in Southern California. You can connect with Chase at: hVp://twiVer.com/chaseamante
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