10 rules to text to girls

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How to Text Girls to Get Dates, Phone Calls and More

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Transcript of 10 rules to text to girls

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How to Text Girls�to Get Dates, Phone Calls and More

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Table of Contents Part 1: What’s Wrong with Texting Today 3

Relying on guesswork ………………………………………………………………………………… 5 Failing women who like you ………………………………………………………………………… 7 Losing focus on the goal ………………………………………………………………………………… 9

Part 2: 10 Rules of Texting 10

Part 3: Conclusion 17

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Part 1: According  to  2011  data  from  AT&T,  roughly  5  billion  text  messages  are  sent  every  day  in  the  United  States  alone.  That’s  a  100%  increase  from  merely  2  years  earlier,  in  2009.  Text  messages  have  become  an  ever  greater  part  of  our  communicaIon  –  parIcularly  between  single  men  and  women.    But  we  have  to  ask:  does  texIng  work  for  geLng  dates?  

What’s Wrong with Texting Today  

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We’re  all  looking  for  ways  to  more  efficiently  and  effecIvely  communicate  with  the  people  we  like  and  want  to  get  to  know  beQer.  The  great  advantage  of  text  messaging  has  been  that  it  enables  individuals  to  communicate  in  short  snippets  that  let  the  recipient  respond  when  she  has  a  chance  instead  of  having  to  decide  in  the  moment  whether  to  respond  or  not,  as  she  would  with  a  phone  call.  But  despite  text  messaging’s  ubiquity  and  familiarity,  most  men  sIll  haven’t  figured  out  how  to  use  it  to  get  dates.  

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In  fact,  out  of  all  the  emails,  messages,  and  comments  we  receive  at  GirlsChase.com,  guys  wan)ng  to  know  what  to  text  next  to  a  girl  or  how  to  interpret  a  girl’s  tex)ng  behavior  remain  some  of  the  most  frequent  requests.  TexIng  remains  a  mysterious  and  poorly  understood  medium  for  communicaIng  between  the  sexes.  

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Relying on guesswork

Guessing  doesn’t  get  you  dates.    Quick  –  what’s  your  process  for  geLng  dates  via  text  message?  If  you’re  like  the  vast  majority  of  guys  out  there,  your  answer  is  this:  “I  don’t  have  one.”    Know  anyone  who  guesses  their  way  to  success  regularly  with  anything?  So  why  do  so  many  men  keep  trying  to  guess  with  something  as  important  as  geLng  dates  with  the  girls  they  like?  

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Guessing  frequently  leads  to  bea)ng  around  the  bush    Guys  texIng  girls  they  like  frequently  resort  to  trying  to  be  interesIng,  sound  cool,  be  funny,  or  –  even  worse  –  build  a  connecIon  with  a  girl  over  text  message  before  asking  her  out.  A  connecIon  built  over  text!  Sounds  preQy  silly  when  you  put  it  that  way,  doesn’t  it?  But  guys  keep  doing  it.  What  happens?  The  girl  knows  they’re  beaIng  around  the  bush  and  it’s  a  turnoff.  

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Most  guys  cause  their  own  frustra)on.    You’ll  find  most  guys  come  in  1  of  2  styles:    

•  Too  safe  (beaIng  around  the  bush),  or  •  Too  forward  (leLng  it  all  hang  out)  

And  if  styles  don’t  work…  they  keep  using  them  anyway!  

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Failing women who like you

Imagine  for  a  second  that  you’re  not  you,  but  rather  a  girl  that  you  like.  And  you  meet  some  guy,  and  think  he’s  cute,  and  you  hope  he’s  cool…  and  that  he’ll  ask  you  out.    Then  he  starts  texIng  you  funny  things  about  his  day…  and  trying  to  be  clever…  and  sending  you  lots  of  long  geLng-­‐to-­‐know-­‐you  style  texts.  And  this  goes  on…  and  on…  and  on.  He  doesn’t  ask  you  out…  he  just…  keeps…  TEXTING.    S)ll  hoping  he’ll  ask  you  out?  

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Bea)ng  around  the  bush  destroys  girls’  pa)ence…  and  their  interest  in  YOU.    No  girl  wants  to  wait  forever  for  some  guy  to  pull  the  trigger.  And  very  few  girls  will  wait  forever  –  most  of  the  Ime,  you’re  not  the  only  guy  who’s  texIng  her.  And  if  you’re  not  geLng  down  to  business  with  her,  there’s  a  good  chance  someone  else  a  liQle  more…  moIvated,  perhaps…  will.    Being  too  forward  can  be  a  kiss  of  death  though,  too.    Whether  that’s  too  forward  as  in,  “I  really  like  you,”  or  too  forward  as  in,  “Here,  take  a  look  at  this  picture  of  my  mem    ,”  leLng  it  all  hang  out  is  NOT  an  effecIve  texIng  strategy,  unless  you’re  overpoweringly  aQracIve  and  she’s  already  dying  to  see  you.  And  even  if  she  is,  she’d  probably  sIll  like  a  liQle  intrigue  to  keep  her  guessing.  No  need  to  disappoint  her  by  holding  up  a  glaring  sign  that  says,  “HEY,  I  REALLY  LIKE  YOU!  YOU  FEEL  THE  SAME?”  

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Losing focus on the goal How  oien  have  you  taken  a  girl’s  number  because  you  really  wanted  to:    •  Get  into  hours-­‐  or  days-­‐long  text  conversaIons?  •  Finally  have  someone  to  text  all  the  details  of  your  day  to?  •  Find  a  new  buddy  for  comparing  notes  on  the  latest  romcom  with?  •  Discuss  the  latest  trends  in  fashion  –  what’s  “in”  this  season,  anyway?  •  Have  someone  to  complain  to  about  your  teacher  /  boss  /  turtle?    Probably  none  of  those,  right?  So  why’d  you  get  her  number  again?    Oh,  right  –  so  you  could  see  her  again.    But  if  that’s  the  case,  why  do  so  many  guys  start  doing  all  that  other  stuff  instead?  

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Part 2: As  wonderful  a  tool  as  texIng  is,  its  actual  value  as  a  medium  for  connecIng  people  more  oien  than  not  falls  short  –  both  for  the  person  trying  to  do  the  connecIng,  and  the  person  he’s  trying  to  connect  with.    Understanding  the  rules  of  texIng  can  help  you  to  make  beQer  decisions  about  how  to  do  your  own  texIng  –  and  both  create  a  beQer  experience  for  the  women  you  meet,  and  a  much  greater  chance  that  you’ll  see  them  again.  

10 Rules of Texting  

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10 Rules of Texting 1.  Above  all  else,  sIck  to  the  

point  

2.  Break  the  ice  fast  

3.  Don’t  be  silly  or  crack  too  many  jokes  

4.  Keep  things  brief  

5.  Don’t  take  too  long  

6.  If  it  feels  like  it’s  taking  too  long,  it  is  

7.  Don’t  “tell  all.”  Just  don’t  

8.  Don’t  pretend  you  aren’t  interested,  either  

9.  Get  her  schedule  

10.  Tell  her  what  to  do  (it’s  easy)  

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10 Rules of Texting Most  guys  today  have  never  bothered  to  get  down  the  basic  fundamental  rules  of  texIng.  They  (and  the  women  they  text)  then  suffer  for  this.  We  think  that’s  terrible.  Up  next,  we’re  going  to  go  through  (and  explain)  each  of  the  10  Rules  of  TexIng.  

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1.   S)ck  to  the  point  One  of  the  reasons  texIng  works  is  because  it’s  a  short,  direct,  and  efficient  means  of  communicaIon.  Just  like  you  feel  annoyed  every  Ime  you  get  a  pointless-­‐feeling  text  (“Why  is  this  person  texIng  me  this?”),  girls  do  too.  SIck  to  the  point  –  and  the  point,  with  texIng,  is  that  the  two  of  you  should  meet.  

2.   Break  the  ice  fast  Ever  get  a  first  text  or  phone  call  from  someone  you  met  ages  ago?  Felt  weird,  right?  Don’t  put  girls  in  that  situaIon  –  a  simple,  “Hanna,  great  meeIng  you  today!  –  Mark,”  a  few  hours  aier  meeIng  her  will  do.  Oh,  and  don’t  forget  your  name  –  just  in  case  she  does!  

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3.   Don’t  be  silly  or  crack  too  many  jokes  A  lot  of  guys  hear  the  well-­‐known  fact  that  women  like  a  guy  with  a  sense  of  humor  and  take  that  thought  to  its  seemingly  logical  conclusion  –  “If  girls  like  guys  with  a  sense  of  humor,  then  just  wait  unIl  they  get  a  load  of  my  rainbow  wig  and  Bozo  nose  –  they’ll  love  ME!”  But  what  people  actually  mean  when  they  say  women  like  a  guy  with  a  sense  of  humor  is  that  they  love  a  guy  who  makes  casual,  wiQy,  effortless  remarks  –  not  a  guy  who’s  a  laugh-­‐a-­‐minute  and  comes  across  like  he’s  playing  the  role  of  entertainer.  So  go  easy  on  the  laughs,  Chuckles.  It’s  actually  beQer  cracking  no  jokes  than  too  many.  

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4.   Keep  things  brief  Have  you  ever  goQen  one  of  those  really  long  text  messages  people  someImes  send,  looked  at  it,  and  silently  thought  to  yourself,  “Why?”    Don’t  do  that  to  girls  –  don’t  be  a  burden.  Instead,  keep  texts  short,  brief,  and  easy  to  reply  to  –  or  not.  Like:    “Heading  to  the  café  on  Main  near  you.  Let  me  know  if  you’re  around  and  down  to  grab  a  tea.”  

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5.   Don’t  take  too  long  By  “take  too  long,”  what  I  don’t  mean  is  you  just  spent  20  minutes  carefully  craiing  the  perfect  text.  It’s  debatable  whether  that’s  a  good  use  of  your  Ime,  BUT  she  doesn’t  know  so  it  won’t  hurt  you.  Rather,  what  I  mean  is,  don’t  spend  weeks  tex)ng  back  and  forth  before  you  ask  her  out.  If  you  wait  that  long,  you’ll  have  built  it  up  into  a  much  bigger  deal  than  it  should  be…  and  if  you  wait  that  long,  you’d  beQer  have  one  heck  of  an  impressive  pitch  to  get  her  to  go  out.  Instead,  just  casually  ask  her  out  first  thing  aSer  geTng  her  number.  Easy.  Much  easier  than  trying  to  figure  out  how  to  do  it  weeks  later.  

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6.   If  it  feels  like  it’s  taking  too  long,  it  is  Ever  start  geLng  that  feeling  that  things  have  been  dragging  on  too  long  and  you  should  do  something…  or  should’ve  done  something  ages  ago?  Well  guess  what  –  if  you’re  feeling  that  way,  she  probably  is  too.  Or  worse  –  it’s  already  too  late.  Learn  to  listen  to  this  feeling:  it’ll  save  you  a  lot  of  wasted  Ime  (and  wasted  phone  numbers).  

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7.   Don’t  “tell  all.”  Just  don’t  You  know  what  I  mean:  “Casey…  look…  I  like  you  a  lot.  I  don’t  know  if  you  feel  the  same  way,  but  I  really  care  about  you.  I  just  had  to  tell  you  that.”    First  off,  there  are  a  number  of  things  technically  wrong  with  doing  an  emoIon  dump  on  a  woman  via  text.  For  instance,  you’re  effecIvely  communicaIng  to  her:  “Okay,  I  told  you  I  liked  you…  now  YOU  do  everything!”  in  an  arena  (daIng)  where  women  are  waiIng  for  MEN  to  take  the  lead.  But  besides  that,  this  just  drips  of  not  really  knowing  much  about  her  (otherwise  you  wouldn’t  need  to  ask)  and  pushes  a  girl  away.    No  maQer  how  tempIng  it  may  be  to  “get  it  off  your  chest,”  don’t  do  this  one.  Trust  me  here,  you’ll  thank  me  later.  

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8.   Don’t  pretend  you  aren’t  interested,  either  Why?  Simple:  if  you  ACT  like  you  just  want  to  be  a  girl’s  friend,  she’s  going  to  TREAT  you  like  you’re  just  a  friend,  THINK  of  you  like  just  a  friend,  and  meanIme  she’ll  be  out  daIng  guys  who  didn’t  hide  their  interest.  Think  she’s  going  to  realize  what  a  great  guy  you  are?  Guys  always  think  this,  and  always  end  up  disappointed.  Even  if  she  asks  you  what  you’re  aier  or  whether  you  like  her,  don’t  say  no  –  instead,  build  intrigue,  like:    “Ask  me  the  next  Ome  we  hang  out.  I’m  sOll  making  up  my  mind…”  

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9.   Get  her  schedule  What  happens  if  you  text  her,  “Hey,  are  you  free  Saturday?”  and  the  answer’s  “no”?  She  instantly  becomes  a  lot  less  likely  to  ever  agree  to  meet  up  with  you  again  (it’s  a  psychological  thing  –  precedence,  effecIvely),  and  you’re  now  chasing  aier  her  and  scrambling  to  find  a  date  she’s  open.  Instead,  text  her  this:    “Annie,  what’s  your  schedule  like  this  week?  Let’s  grab  a  bite  before  the  weekend.”    

10.   Tell  her  what  to  do  (it’s  easy)  Many  men  will  try  to  leave  it  up  to  the  girl  to  pick  what  to  do  –  “Okay,  I’ll  just  let  her  decide,  then  she  can  pick  something  she  likes  and  she’ll  be  more  likely  to  want  to  go,”  they  think.  Truth?  Most  women  have  no  idea  what  they  want  to  do  on  a  date.  Women  look  to  men  to  lead  here  –  so  once  you  know  when  she’s  free,  pick  a  Ime,  pick  a  place,  tell  her  to  meet  you  there  at  that  Ime,  and  ask  her  if  that  sounds  good.  Easy,  right?  

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Texting that actually works Too  commonly  guys  put  a  lot  of  pressure  on  themselves  to  make  their  text  conversaIons  “perfect.”  They  want  to  have  enough  wit,  be  impressive  enough,  and  get  a  real  conversaIon  going  over  text.  This  misses  the  fact  that  text  is  a  far  poorer  medium  for  doing  any  of  this  than  being  live  and  in-­‐person  –  or  than  even  a  simple  phone  call.  Here’s  the  most  effecIve  way  you  can  come  to  view  text  messaging:  as  a  da)ng-­‐planning  tool.  Use  it  for  handling  your  logisIcs  –  nothing  more.    Not  every  girl  whose  number  you  get  will  meet  up  with  you,  of  course  –  but  trust  me,  if  she  isn’t  open  to  the  idea  of  meeIng  up  with  you  right  aier  you  trade  phone  numbers,  she  isn’t  going  to  be  any  more  open  to  meeIng  up  with  you  weeks  or  months  down  the  road,  either.  So  go  for  the  meet  fast  –  you’ll  save  yourself  (and  her)  a  lot  of  Ime,  a  lot  of  hassle,  and  a  lot  of  heartache.  

ABOUT  THE  AUTHOR  Chase  Amante  is  the  founder  and  president  of  Girls  Chase,  a  rapidly-­‐growing  (and  mildly  controversial)  men’s  daOng  advice  company  based  in  Southern  California.    You  can  connect  with  Chase  at:  hVp://twiVer.com/chaseamante  

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Girls Chase’s Alternative to Traditional Dating Advice

(Otherwise  known  as  “Stuff  that  gets  the  job  done”)  

Ferris  Bueller  Completed  Girls  Chase  programs  on  his  day  off  (SIll  has  some  homework  to  do,  though)  

1.  Downloaded  programs  

2.  Did  homework  &  assignments  

How  our  stuff’s  different:  

•  Usable,  pracIcal  informaIon  that  gives  you  what  you  need  to  get  results,  and  nothing  you  don’t    

•  No  lines,  games,  or  rouInes  –  just  easy-­‐to-­‐follow  instrucIons  you  can  match  to  your  own  style    

•  Start  where  you  need  to  start  –  beginner,  intermediate,  or  advanced  

7  days  later  

Met  Sloane  

First  date  –  goes  great  

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