My Life in Twenty Graphs

Tom Scott

Number of times per dayyou posttoTwitter

Arat’s ass

Two hoots

A damn

A monkey’s

A hootAmou

nt I c

ould give

0 51 2 3 4

Effortrequiredto post

Commentsreceived

Average perceivedintelligence of audience

InternetComments

Hours per day spentatwork

Prob

ability

ofm

yres

igna

tion

0 963 12

2

0

1

Number of audiencesI’ve shown this

chartto

Number of audienceswho laughedat it

Percentage of people that understandthe difference between line graphs and bar graphs100%

0%

50%

Understand Do not understand

Propriety of“your mum” jokesby location

With close friends Atwork Audience withthePope

Withyour mum

Pantomime

Ohyesit is

Oh noit isn’t

Time I intendto goto bed

Time I

actu

ally goto

bed

9pm 10pm 11pm 12am 1am 2am 3am

about2am

How m

uch I a

ppre

ciate

my B

lack

Berry

Number of people tryingto contact me

Time spent in academia

Chance of beingknown as“that guy”

Procrastination

Willingnesstoleave

Actualreal-worldachievement

2am

“I shouldreallygoto bed.”

Check RSSfeedsone last time

“Ooh, that’squitecool.”

Look it uponWikipedia

Click links inarticletext

“Noway, thatcan’t bereal”

Lookforrelatedvideo onYouTube

“Aww, lookat thelittlekitten”

Danger

Awes

ome

Real Life

YouTube

Amount of flashy graphics

Info

rmat

ion co

nvey

ed

Disturbing freaksof nature

Normal,well-adjustedmembers of society

People who arered-green colourblind

Time and effort spent on idea

Chan

ce of s

ucce

ss

How much theDJ talks

How m

uch Iw

ant t

hem

to die

Me

Morrissey

Time spent in America

Probability ofusing thewords“cell phone”“Ohmygod, like,your accent is,like,totallycool”

Expectation offreerefillsatdiners

Weight

Do it

Don’t do itAwes

ome

Effort