1 Vorhexen 2520 : Humans Gridiron Gazette: Humans 1 Vorhexen 2520 Issue #1 Everyone knows the...

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Transcript of 1 Vorhexen 2520 : Humans Gridiron Gazette: Humans 1 Vorhexen 2520 Issue #1 Everyone knows the...

  • Gridiron Gazette

    : Humans 1 Vorhexen 2520

    Issue #1

    Everyone knows the Reikland Reavers . . . but what about the other Human teams who take to the astrogranite??

    Edition one of the Gridiron Gazette casts its eye over the ‘lesser’ Human

    teams to have played the great game.

    INSIDE

    __

    Middenheim Marauders

    You can smell the Chaos

    from here!

    __

    Albion Wanderers

    Kicking the ball . . . ?

    Strange but true.

    __

    Bad Bay Hackers

    From underdogs to over

    lords!

    __

    Creeveland Crescents

    Talent wasted?

    __

    The Other Reavers

    Prepare to go oooh-la-la

    at Port D’Acquitaine!

    __

    Who’s Who

    The full player directory

  • Gridiron Gazette - Humans

    Trophy Cabinet

    Blood Bowl winners

    (2469)

    Blood Bowl Runners Up

    (2477, 2483)

    Whiteskull Challenge Cup

    Winners (2432)

    Chaos Cup Winners

    (2490)

    Famous Players

    The Marauders have

    always enjoyed the taint

    of Chaos, despite the fact

    they are a Human team.

    They have never been

    afraid to take on players

    who are different to the

    ‘norm’ shall we say.

    Famous faces to have

    worn the Marauder jersey

    includes –

    ➢ Bob Bifford (Ogre)

    ➢ Karla von Kill

    (Human)

    ➢ Withergrasp

    Doubledrool

    (Beastman)

    ➢ Massif “Hungry”

    Bofine (Minotaur)

    ➢ Uthar Hagg (Half

    Orc).

    Staff

    The Marauders were

    coached by Goran Slaver,

    a man of particularly

    violent tendencies. One

    season he killed his own

    assistant with a chainsaw!

    When the Marauders

    became the Maulers, ex-

    club captain Uther Hagg

    became the Head Coach.

    The club’s mascot was a

    goat named Janet. Alas

    the whereabouts of poor

    Janet remain a mystery!

    The Middenheim Marauders - By Dolf Ungerhaagen

    The Middenheim Marauders franchise still exists, but they have changed quite a

    lot over the years. We’re covering here their early history where they played as a

    Human team before a merger and the inclusion of Dwarfs and Halflings on the

    roster.

    Stadium

    In earlier and simpler times, the Marauders played in the Karl Franz arena, formerly

    known as the Middenheim Arena. It was a large stadium seating up to 83,000 people for

    each game. The stadium was known for its temperate weather during games and

    officials who were surprisingly good!

    History

    2465 – After a successful season, the Marauders were all killed in a mysterious flying

    carpet accident. The following season, the Blood Bowl winning Champions of Death

    team looked strangely like the lost Marauders. Tomolandry assured everyone that this

    was purely a coincidence!

    2472 – Bob Bifford comes out of retirement and is signed for one game by the

    Marauders to play against the Chaos All-Stars. The game is famous for the clash

    between Bob and Morg N’Thorg. Bob came out on top, flattening Morg and scoring the

    winning touchdown while whistling the Middenheim city anthem.

    2477 – The Marauders lose the Blood Bowl final to the Skavenblight Scramblers 3-1 in a

    torturous match that lasts a massive 9 hours! Exhausting!

    2486 – Karla von Kill is signed for the Middenheim Marauders and quickly goes on to

    make her name

    2489 – After the collapse of the NAF, the team get into financial trouble. They change

    their name to The Marauders, sell their stadium and become a touring team. The

    financial troubles continue to follow them however and so in order to stay in business,

    they merge with the Middenland Maulers. The new team, the Middenheim Maulers, are

    very multi-racial but the Marauders had rarely just fielded humans historically.

    Cross Code

    The Marauders famously played in a Blood Bowl exhibition match against the Blood Axes

    who are normally a Dungeon Bowl team. The Blood Axes failed to understand the fact

    that one teams starts with the ball rather than needing to find it. This led to a crushing

    15-0 defeat as they frantically tried to find non-existent chests!

    Tanks very much

    The Marauders played in the only game so far to feature a Goblin tank fielded, by the Evil

    Gits. Luckily Massif Bofine was on hand to rip open the tank with his horns and scoff

    Stranglegut the unfortunate goblin tank driver. He was soon spat out however, as Massif

    explained later, he didn’t like “canned meat”!

  • Gridiron Gazette - Humans

    Albion Wanderers - By Gerhardt Schtumpf

    The Wanderers are a secretive bunch! Hailing from the far-off misty isle

    of Albion and coached by Bob Berobsson , they proved to be a better

    cup than league team.

    The Wanderers took a long while to adapt to Blood Bowl outside of Albion

    where the rules were slightly different. Their first games were a disaster,

    including an incident where the Gouged Eye spit roast and ate 3 of their

    players in front of them on the sidelines!

    They played in the AFC Northern Division but rarely made an impact. That

    contrasts heavily to their record in the other majors where they enjoyed

    significant success. They won the Whiteskull Challenge Cup in 2433 and

    then after it changed its name to the Chaos Cup, took it home a further 5

    times (2444, 2454, 2457, 2474, 2488).

    Alas they never survived the collapse of the NAF. Financially destitute, they

    returned to Albion to take a up strange game where you kicked the ball

    instead!

    In name only!

    The Blood Bowl world is vast and so

    there are loads of teams out there that

    we know exist . . . but we don’t know

    anything about them at all!

    Here is a quick shout out to the Human

    teams we know in name only…

    ➢ Albion All-Stars

    ➢ Altdorf Griffons

    ➢ Armageddon Avengers

    ➢ Bordeleaux Ravens

    ➢ Carroburg Crusaders

    ➢ Golden Griffons

    ➢ Leitdorf United

    ➢ Lions of Couronne

    ➢ Middenham United

    ➢ Nuln River Boaters

    ➢ Paravon Penetrators

    ➢ Reikland Riot Girls

    ➢ Rostov Renegades

    ➢ Talabheim Morningstars

    ➢ Team Errant

    Altdorf All-Stars

    The All-Stars were only formed for one

    brief and glorious season. They were

    made up of players from the Reikland

    Reavers, Middenheim Maulers and the

    Altdorf Avengers.

    Led by Griff Oberwald they made the

    Blood Bowl final in 2503 only to see

    their dreams crushed at the hands of

    Count Luthor von Drakenborg.

    Fighting Talk!

    Both the Nuln Oilers and Nuln

    Ironflanks are famous for just one

    thing – losing bar room brawls!

    Creeveland Crescents

    This former AFC Eastern team has a long history of underachieving. Yes, they won the Blood

    Bowl in 2476, but the player strike was just starting and their opponents were the Greenfield

    Grasshuggers!! The Green and Whites have always boasted rosters full of talent but rarely turn

    it into results. They were the first outfit Bob Bifford played for in his rookie year, gave a home to

    Rotten Rick Bupkeis while he was alive and enjoyed the Ninja skills of Hoshi Komi as well as the

    dancing thrills from the deadly Harry “The Hammer” Kehry. Just a shame they couldn’t build on

    such talents! Now they’re a shadow of themselves, reduced to being a touring team since 2488

  • Gridiron Gazette - Humans

    Trophy Cabinet

    Whiteskull Challenge Cup

    Winners (2431)

    Purity Cup Winners

    Those paying close attention

    to the dates will note that

    somehow, the Crusaders won

    the Whiteskull Challenge

    Cup 10 years before they

    were officially formed. . . .

    Recruitment Policy

    All players must be extremely

    physically fit (it’s a tough

    game after all) and need to

    prove they are mentally sane

    (as outlined in the Holy

    Guidelines of the sixth

    Appendix) and to have

    memorized the rules by heart

    inside out. As the rules

    currently come in 14

    volumes, each 1000 pages

    long, that’s a lot of reading!

    Typically, only Humans tend

    to play on the Bright

    Crusaders but that there have

    been instances where Dwarfs

    have been signed.

    Staff

    Ingrid the Pious was the

    owners and spiritual leader of

    the Bright Crusaders, but

    over the years she employed

    a string of different head

    coaches including –

    ➢ Dolph “The Saint”

    Gurmann

    ➢ Father E.A. “The Padre”

    Matten

    ➢ Kurt Heilger

    Clearly coaching the

    Crusaders requires the

    patience of a saint!

    The Bright Crusaders - By Rusty Hoelle

    The Bright Crusaders have veered between the