aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

Aim #12 - Types of Relationships

Do Now:As a group brainstorm at LEAST 15 examples for your category of relationship. (Everyone should be recording examples on their own separate note paper as well as creating the poster.)

(For example: "Healthy Relationships = Effective Communication")

1. Healthy2. Unhealthy3. Abusive

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

­ acceptance

­ can have an independent life

Healthy:­honesty­ understanding­ effective Communication­ sacrifice/compromise/equality­ able to openly express emotions

­ respect

­

­ trust

­ speak openly (face to face)­ common interests

­ supportive

­ humor but can be seriouswhen needed

­reliable

­ love/attraction

Unhealthy­ miscommunication­ a lot of disagreements and fights

­ lack of: trust ,honest,love and caring­ jealousy/ intensity­ cheating­ lying

­ possessive­ insecurities­ confined­ too clingy

­ lack of freedom tohave other friends(too much time together)

­ drifting away from family

Abusive­violence

­ verbal and emotional abuse­ sexual abuse­ victim shaming and blaming­ guilt

­ manipulation­complete control­ stuck or trapped­ brain washed­ fear

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

Yeardley Love George Huguely

Disturbing new evidence in Yeardley Love murder trial ­ Fox News

Missed warning signs for Yeardley ­ ABC News

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ekBYYkpFVw

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

They were very cute but got very serious very quick; "honeymoon phase" from day 1

You don't truly know the person and know if you are compatible or if you really want to be with that person.

"You guys are so cute it's gross" - they reinforce the idea that he is a great guy, is really into her and they have a great relationship

They can interfere your own feelings and instincts about the relationship and even start to convince you things are good/great when they really aren't.

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

Sex? other stuff? just cuddling?

"What happened?" - might have been drunk and didn't really remember

or she knew and regretted it or she wasn't sure if she made the right choice

She may be afraid of what he'll do if she tries; she loves him and wants to give him another chance because she knows he "didn't mean it."

"He did this really cute thing" so she hung out with him and binge watched Vampire High instead of going to her study group.

She is trying to keep up appearances on social media as the "perfect couple" everyone thinks they are and she is also probably trying to convince herself that he still is the "perfect boyfriend"

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

For Sarah it is when she realizes Chase has access to her social media Or

When they fight at the party, leave to go home and find out Chase stayed over and they are back together now.

They a silent for a second, exchange awkward glances and then laugh it off. You can tell they are uncomfortable because it was a strange comment for Chase to make in such a serious tone of voice.

They could have said to him "Okay, chill out... no need to a make a comment like that" or "TMI..." or "Have a little more respect for your girlfriend, don't talk about her that way."

Sit them down for a one on one conversation first. If they still aren't hearing your concerns get other friends who feel the same way and make it a group intervention - there is power in numbers!

It is common but there are usually limits... they may not share EVERY detail of their relationship but definitely share some details.

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

Chase calls Meg a "hooker" because he doesn't like her; alcohol probably played a role since they were both drinking at the party and emotions were heightened.

It shows the same problems keep driving them apart and are never resolved.

She knows he doesn't take "No" for an answer and because she loves him so she wants to make him happy.

He can use these photos as leverage in situations and threaten to use them against her if they are in a fight.

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

She is scared and doesn't know what to do.

She still loves him and he's saying "sorry" so she allows it but is still upset.

She may love many things about Chase; She wants to help him conquer his demons and thinks she can change him; Stockholm Syndrome?

• She is embarrassed and worried her mom will judge her for being in an unhealthy relationship.

• She may be worried that her mother would feel troubled and doesn’t want to burden her.

• She may be trying to fulfill what she believes to be her parents’ expectations.

• She wants to avoid being told what to do by her parents and wants to “work it out on her own.”

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

They may feel embarrassed and don't want to be judged; They are stubborn and want to work things out on their own; They are worried it may cause more problems if their partner finds out they told someone about their problems.

• I didn’t want to get involved.• All couples have their problems.• It didn’t seem that bad.• I didn’t want to see what was in front of me — more comfortable to deny the truth.• It seemed like their private drama.

aim 12 One Love.notebook

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October 02, 2018

• Calmly start a conversation on a positive note• Be supportive• Focus on the unhealthy behaviors• Keep the conversation friendly, not preachy• Don’t place the blame on your friend• Allow your friend to make their own decision• Offer solutions to your friend• Expect more conversations in the future

Adults who can help!!!:• a parent or guardian• parent or guardian of a close friend• get a group of friends (strength in numbers!)• a teacher/coach• school guidance counselor• school social worker

How To Help A Friend Who May Be In An Abusive Relationship