IntegrityIcebreaker: Ask students to provide two true facts about themselves and one false statement about them. http://www.character.org/lessons/lesson-plans/elementary/pembroke-elementary-school/

http://www.character.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Pembroke-Elementary-Stand-up-for-Your-Beliefs.pdf

ASCA Standards:

PS:A1.2 Identify values, attitudes and beliefs

PS:A2.1 Recognize that everyone has rights and responsibilities

PS:B1.1 Use a decision-making and problem-solving model

PS:B1.2 Understand consequences of decisions and choices

PS:C1.5 Differentiate between situations requiring peer support and situations requiring adult professional help

Materials:Youtube video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFcbpGK9_aw)Sticky notesDefinition of bystander and list of strategies for students to use

Introduction: Begin the group session by asking the students if they understand the meaning of integrity. If they do not know, explain that it is “doing the right thing even when it is hard”.

“Today we will be learning about how Martin Luther King, Jr. stood up for what he believed. He believed that all people should be treated with respect. He had the courage to stand up for others who weren’t treated fairly. Have you even stood up for someone who was being teased?”

Draw following chart on whiteboard or chart paper:

Yes No Wanted to but was afraid

Show the group a short clip of Martin Luther King Jr.’s, “I Have a Dream,” speech. Discuss with the students how Martin Luther King Jr. showed integrity and the obstacles he may have faced.

Activity: Give one sticky note to each student and have them place it in the appropriate space on chart (yes, no, wanted to, but was afraid) anonymously. Discuss the following questions (try to find opportunities to incorporate the character traits):

Invite students to share why someone might be afraid to stand up for someone who is being teased:

“If you said yes, what gave you the courage to speak out for the other person or group? How can we help one another to have the courage to stand up for one another? How might you stand up for a classmate who is not being treated nicely? “

Introduce the term bystander and what it means to be a bystander. Brainstorm and share a few strategies students can use to stop a classmates behavior.

WHAT DO BYSTANDERS NEED

• Courage to do the right thing and recognition of that courage from classmates and teachers when bystanders intervene directly or get adult help; adults need to thank bystanders for sticking their neck out.

• A safe way to report (where their anonymity is protected by adults and the aggressor isn’t informed who told.) Adults need to tell reporting bystanders not to tell their friends that they reported – friends can talk and word can get back to the aggressor. Also, bystanders must be told to come back to the adult immediately if the behavior continues or worsens after intervention with the aggressive student has occurred.

• Knowledge of the research – it takes only one student to use a shutdown and the bullying will end within 10 seconds in 50% of the cases. The majority of the other 50% of the time, it takes only 2-3(rarely) students to use a shutdown to make the mean behavior stop in 10 seconds.

• Strategies for intervening and reporting and practice curing role-plays and class discussions. (supporting material attached)

• Behaviorally specific adult praise to acknowledge how their positive bystander behaviors have made a difference to the school climate. Adult recognition of these helping behaviors is important or they get extinguished.

• Accountability – if bystanders were present during a bullying episode, adults need to ask each of them, “What did you do to help” or “What could you do next time”. Adults must create the expectation that bystanders can and must help either directly (use a shutdown, verbally support the target in private) or indirectly (report to an adult what they saw/heard.)

• Visual reminders of what we expect bystanders to do (tell the bully to stop, reach out in support to targeted students, report it to an adult.)

• Infuse good bystander strategies into the curriculum (“How did the Holocaust treat people? Are there people in this country who are not treated fairly? Are there students in this school who are not treated well? What can we do to help?)

STRATEGIES TO BE A GOOD BYSTANDER

• Use a “shutdown” and encourage other bystanders to use them too: Knock it off. That makes you look bad. That’s weak. Cut it out. Nobody likes that. Give it up. Quit it. Lay off. Just stop. That’s messed up. That’s low. That’s mean. That’s rude. That’s cold. Back off. Chill out. Relax. That is not cool. Ease up. That’s annoying.

• Privately support the target: That was really mean and rude. That was so wrong. Are you alright? Are you OK? I wanted to make sure you are OK. I saw what happened and it really stinks. I can’t believe they just said that. Are you all right?

• Report it to an adult quietly and privately:

1) Who did it?

2) What happened?

3) When did it start? How long has it been going on?

4) Where did it happen?

5) Who were witnesses who saw/heard it?

DO NOT TELL EVEN ONE FRIEND THAT YOU TOLD. GO IMMEDIATELY TO THE SAME ADULT IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN.

• Encourage friends who are being bullied to report it. Offer to go with your friend. Tell them “You shouldn’t have to put up with that. I will go with you to report it if you want me to.”

• Tell mean friends to “chill out” before they get reported: To try to stop their behavior, tell them “You could get in major trouble if you keep doing that. Chill out before you get caught. Someone could report it and I don’t want you to get into trouble.

Wrap Up: Discuss why showing integrity and standing up for what you believe in is important in life. How can the students show integrity at school? At home? In their community?

Achievement MotivationIcebreaker“Would you Rather?” gamePlace a line of tape down the center of the room. Ask the group to straddle the tape. When asked ‘Would you rather?’ they have to jump to the left or right as indicated by the leader.

Would you rather… Visit the doctor or the dentist? Eat broccoli or carrots? Watch TV or listen to music? Own a dog or a cat? Have a beach holiday or a mountain holiday? Be invisible or be able to read minds? Be the most popular or the smartest person you know? Make headlines for saving somebody’s life or winning a Nobel Prize? Go without television or fast food for the rest of your life? Become famous singer or famous actress? Not hear or not see? See the future or change the past?

ASCA Standards:

A:A1.1 Articulate feelings of competence and confidence as learners

A:A1.2 Display a positive interest in learning

A:A1.3 Take pride in work and achievement

A:A3.3 Develop a broad range of interests and abilities

A:B1.1 Demonstrate the motivation to achieve individual potential

A:B2.4 Apply knowledge of aptitudes and interests to goal setting

C:A1.3. Develop an awareness of personal abilities, skills, interests and motivations

C:A1.6 Learn how to set goals

PS:A1.10 Identify personal strengths and assets

PS:B1.9 Identify long- and short-term goals

PS:B1.10 Identify alternative ways of achieving goals

Materials:

Amazing Grace

Goal setting page Female Empowerment video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqmrANg5r6I

http://www.character.org/lessons/lesson-plans/elementary/duncan-elementary-school/

Introduction: Read the book Amazing Grace to the group. Have the following group discussion:

What did Grace want to do in the story? How did she prepare to obtain her goal? Why was there a problem? How did they decide who would get the part? Who changed their perspective/attitude about Grace? How did Grace show determination? What talent did Grace show? What are you good at?

Pass out the worksheet and give examples of what Grace's paper would say.1. Grace wanted to be Peter Pan2. She practiced and learned her lines3. Girl and black4. Nana and Mother

Wrap-up Each student will complete her goal‐setting paper. Make a goal and steps to achieve that goal. Discuss the obstacles. Include someone who will support you in achieving your goal.

**If time allows, watch video about Female Empowerment and discuss what the students liked about the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqmrANg5r6I

GOAL SETTINGMy goal is:

_______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________.

I will reach this goal by:

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________.

I might have trouble reaching my goal because:

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________.

People who can help me reach my goal:

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

Positive Family CommunicationIcebreaker: Interview: Divide the young people into pairs. Ask them to take 3 minutes to interview each other. Each interviewer has to find 3 interesting facts about their partner. Bring everyone back together and ask everyone to present the 3 facts about their partner to the rest of the group.

Materials: Die with hard topics to discuss with parents Handout of strategies for students

Introduction: Begin the group by brainstorming various topics that the students do not feel comfortable discussing with their families (i.e. getting a bad grade, being bullied, feeling frustrated about problems with friends at school). Ask the students why they feel like it is hard to discuss these topics with their parents/guardians (i.e. being embarrassed/worried/upset, feeling like they wouldn’t understand the situation, trying to sweep the situation under the rug etc.). Reassure the students that although these discussions can sometimes be embarrassing, their parents have been their age before so may understand better than they think. Talking with your parents can help you feel less stressed.

Review some strategies and steps the students can do to talk to their parents/guardians in a positive way:

Planning Your Talk: o Who do you want to talk to? o When do you want to talk to them?: Look for the time in the day where you both

have time. o Where do you want to talk to them?: Find a quiet place.

How to Starto Make sure you communicate to your parents what you need:

Just listen and understand what you’re going through Give permission or support for something Offer you advice or help Guide you back on track if you’re in trouble, but without getting mad at

youo Conversation Starters

“Mom, I need to tell you about a problem I’m having.” “Dad, I need to get your permission to go on a class trip next week. Can I

tell you about it?” “Grandma, I need your advice about something. Can we talk?” “Mom, I did something I know was wrong. You might be mad, but I want

to fix things, and I need your help. Can I tell you?” **Reassure students they don’t have to plan the conversation, their parent/guardian will

contribute to the conversation.

o Communication Tips Be clear and direct. Be honest. Try to understand their point of view. Try not to argue or whine.

Activity: Roll die with various hard topics to discuss with partners and allow each child an opportunity to practice how they would start the conversation with their parent/guardian and how they would handle the rest of the conversation. Some topics might include:

You broke your grandmother’s favorite flower vase. Other kids at school are bullying you. Your friends are pressuring you to make bad choices that will get you in trouble. You received a bad grade on your last big project. You got in trouble with your teacher at school. You find out one of your friends might be involved in activities that are not safe.

Wrap Up: What if It Doesn’t Work?

If you can’t talk to your parent/guardian, seek out other adults you can trust. Find a relative, a teacher, or a counselor who will listen, understand, encourage, believe in you, and care.

Planning Your Talk

Who do you want to talk to?

When do you want to talk to them?: Look for the time in the day

where you both have time.

Where do you want to talk to them?: Find a quiet place.

How to Start

Make sure you communicate to your parents what you need:

Just listen and understand what you’re going through

Give permission or support for something

Offer you advice or help

Guide you back on track if you’re in trouble, but without

getting mad at you

Conversation Starters

“Mom, I need to tell you about a problem I’m having.”

“Dad, I need to get your permission to go on a class trip next week.

Can I tell you about it?”

“Grandma, I need your advice about something. Can we talk?”

“Mom, I did something I know was wrong. You might be mad, but I

want to fix things, and I need your help. Can I tell you?

Resistance SkillsIcebreaker: Backward clumpsDivide into pairs. Ask each pair to sit on the floor with their partner, backs together, feet out in front and arms linked. Their task is to stand up together. Once everyone has done this, two pairs join together, and then a group of four tries to repeat the task. After they succeed, add another two and try again. Keep adding people until your whole group is trying to stand together.

Bag of Trickshttp://elemschoolcounselor.blogspot.com/2012/03/peer-pressure-bag-of-tricks.html

ASCA StandardsPS:B1.2 Understand consequences of decisions and choicesPS:B1.3 Identify alternative solutions to a problemPS:B1.6 Know how to apply conflict resolution skillsPS:B1.8 Know when peer pressure is influencing a decisionPS:C1.9 Learn how to cope with peer pressure

MaterialsBag of TricksRole Play ScenariosWarning Flags and Bright Ideas handout (http://guidance.spps.org/uploads/Intermediate_Friendship_Support_Group.pdf)

Introduction: Begin with a group discussion about the "tricks" kids use to influence you to make decisions, either good or bad.  It breaks the "tricks" down into spoken and unspoken.  In the lesson, you introduce the peer pressure "bag of tricks,” a diagram to show the different unspoken and spoken tricks.

Activity: give each pair of group members a role-play scenario.  After giving students adequate time to practice their role-play, you ask them to perform them for the group.  After each performance, students have to guess which type of "trick" is being demonstrated.

After all of the roleplay scenarios, you talk to students about the different ways to resist peer pressure.  We will first talk about how you are ultimately responsible for making your own choices.  After giving students the opportunity to brainstorm ideas, we talk about the following ideas:

saying "No, I don't want to" in a firm voice, looking them in the eye, and standing up tall.

Suggesting something else to do Walking away from the situation Finding something else to do with other friends

Role Play Scenarios You are walking to school. Your friend who skips class a lot tries to get you to cut with

him. What do you do? You are going to the store for your mom and you see two of your friends hanging around

the store. They try to get you to steal a bag of chips for them, and promise to let you ride in their car in return. What do you do?

You just received your license. You are not allowed to have more than 2 friends in the car, are not allowed to leave town, and must be home by 11. Three of your friends want you to drive them to a party 30 miles away. What do you do?

Your friends don’t like one of the teachers and make a pact to not study for the social studies test and not to do their homework. What do you do?

It’s after dark and you are hanging out with friends outside. Some of your friends decide that it would be fun to throw rocks at cars. What do you do?

Your friends on the bus decide to target one girl to bully and tease her about her being “ugly” and “fat”. What do you do?

Wrap Up: What other obstacles do you think may make it hard for you to resist peer pressure? What are some other activities you can do to avoid spending time with people who are making bad or unhealthy choices?

WARNING FLAGS and BRIGHT IDEAS Saying to NO to friends around risky and wrong situations can be hard. Use these steps to help you.

First: Recognize when a situation is wrong or risky. Does it break the law? Would

my parent get angry?

Second: Be smart about warning flags.

Third: Use a bright idea to say NO.

Warning Flags: Bright Ideas:

*Come on, no one will know. *Just say NO: NO WAY! I CAN’T!

*If you were my friend, *Make an excuse: My mom will

you would do this for me. ground me if I’m not home on time.

*What are you-chicken? *Act shocked: Are you CRAZY!

*We won’t get caught! *Ignore or just leave abruptly.

I dare you. *Better idea: Hey let’s go to the shop at the mall instead.

*Get help from someone you trust.

*Change the topic: Oh, did I tell youwhat I get to do this weekend?

*Use humor: Oh man, you always make me laugh with your crazy things!

Role Play Scenarios

You are walking to school. Your friend who skips class a lot tries to get

you to cut with him. What do you do?

You are going to the store for your mom and you see two of your friends

hanging around the store. They try to get you to steal a bag of chips for

them, and promise to let you ride in their car in return. What do you do?

You just received your license. You are not allowed to have more than 2

friends in the car, are not allowed to leave town, and must be home by

11. Three of your friends want you to drive them to a party 30 miles

away. What do you do?

Your friends don’t like one of the teachers and make a pact to not study

for the social studies test and not to do their homework. What do you

do?

It’s after dark and you are hanging out with friends outside. Some of

your friends decide that it would be fun to throw rocks at cars. What do

you do?

Your friends on the bus decide to target one girl to bully and tease her

about her being “ugly” and “fat”. What do you do?

Personal PowerIcebreaker: At the beginning of the group session, each student will have the opportunity to share her proudest accomplishment. If they cannot brainstorm an idea, the students can describe a goal they would like to accomplish in the future.

ASCA Standards: PS:A1.3 Learn the goal-setting processPS:A1.10 Identify personal strengths and assets

PS:A2.3 Recognize, accept, respect and appreciate individual differencesPS:B1.9 Identify long- and short-term goalsPS:B1.10 Identify alternative ways of achieving goals

Materials: TED Talk video: http://www.ted.com/talks/adora_svitak.html Coat of Arms worksheet

Introduction: Show students the following TED talk video that describes the power children possess: “What Adults can Learn from Kids”

Following the video, as a group, brainstorm some characteristics that the students like about themselves that will help them resist peer pressure in the future and achieve their goals (i.e. outgoing, determination, etc.).

Activity: Once the students have come up with a list of their own outstanding characteristics about themselves, they will pick 6 of these traits to add to their own personal Coat of Arms. For each of the 6 traits, the students will choose a symbol that they feel best represents that specific trait in their lives. As the students are completing their Coat of Arms, the group leader will explain the history of the Coat of Arms (provided below).

Coat of Arms history (http://medievaleurope.mrdonn.org/heraldry.html)The concept of using a coat of arms as a form of identification goes way back to Roman

times, and possibly further back than that. In Roman times, a coat of arm was used to identify groups of fighting men within the Roman legion. In the Middle Ages, a distinctive coat of arms was used to identify each noble family. Each item in the design had meaning.  

Once a coat of arms was adopted by a family, the design was placed on shields held by knights of the manor, embroidered on tapestries, and carved in stone throughout the castle or manor house. It was placed on swords and on banners and even burnt into the top of breads on special occasions. A family's heraldry was important. It said, "This is who we are, and we are special." That is heraldry.

Each noble family not only had its own heraldry, each employed a herald. A herald was a person. 

A herald's job was to make sure that the family's heraldry was properly used, displayed, and understood.   

The herald was responsible for teaching the sons and knights of the fief to recognize the heraldry of other noble families. In these violent times, it was important to be able to quickly recognize friend from foe. 

The herald also acted as the announcer or the scorekeeper at a joust. He shouted out what was happening, who was winning, and why.

Wrap Up: Allow each student the opportunity to share her own Coat of Arms. The group leader will then explain that the traits these girls selected to include in their own personal Coat of Arms will protect them and provide them with their own personal power in the future to overcome the obstacles they may face in their lives.

Worksheet website: http://www.slowfamilyonline.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/COAT_OF_ARMS_P.jpg&w=2102&h=2876&ei=ytD0UOvhBOrE0QHM7YEY&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=961&vpy=93&dur=849&hovh=263&hovw=192&tx=128&ty=140&sig=103229448954314359237&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=120&start=0&ndsp=23&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0,i:102

Developmental Assets Post-SurveyPurpose: The purpose of this assessment is to evaluate how the students’ knowledge and confidence has changed because of the group sessions. Additionally, the assessment will be used to make adjustments to the group content and/or activities as necessary.

Directions: For questions 1-11, please circle the number below that best shows how you think or feel about the statement. On the 1-4 scale, 1 is the lowest number and 4 is the highest number. For the first column, think about what you knew before our group sessions began and, for the last column, what you know now at the end of our group sessions.

First Group Session Last Group Session (Now)

1. I can explain what the word integrity means.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

2. I live a life of integrity in school.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

3. I can accomplish a goal I set for myself.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

4. I can explain how my passions will help me succeed in school.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

5. I can identify at least 3 people outside of school who can I can talk to for support.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

6. I feel that my family communicates in a positive way.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

7. I feel comfortable talking to my family to improve our communication.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

8. I can describe at least 3 strategies I can use to resist peer pressure.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

9. I am confident using the peer pressure resistance strategies in future.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

10. I can identify at least 3 traits about myself that will help me to succeed in the future.

1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4

Please use the space provided below to answer the following questions:

12. What was your favorite activity?

13. Which activity would you have changed? How so?

14. If you would like to meet individually about something else, please write your name and reason here.