Dedicated to Pie and all of its lovers…

ContentsIntroduction……………………….pg2

Joseph…….…………………pg3 Pi………………………….pg3-5 Joseph Lovers……………….pg6

101 Reasons why Josef is Annoying

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JosephFirst of all, you must learn about

Joseph. He is the most annoying, beastly, crazy, dumb, evil, foul, gross, horrible, irritating, jail prisoner, knavish, loathsome, mangy, negative, odious, papoose, quarrelsome, ratty, stupid, terrible, unpleasant, verminous, wicked, X-rated, yucky, zero person in the whole world. The only thing that is worse than Joseph is…pi.

PiThere were once twin angels

named Pie and Pi. They did everything together and lived in a big, white, gold, and silver palace in the most

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magnificent kitchen in the whole world in Pie-world. For some random

reason, they agreed Pie was a little bit awesomer. Than, one day Joseph came to the palace and with him came a sack full of gold. No, 2 sacks. Wait, a whole truck full of gold. He spoke to each angel individually. Each time he said, “If you let me stay, I will give you this.” Pi was immediately amazed and agreed to let Joseph stay. Pie, on the other hand, was not fooled. Pie

4Joseph Lovers

packed up and left for the emergency castle. But Joseph was evil, so evil he gave off rays of wickedness. So Joseph stayed and rays spread over Pi. And slowly, very slowly, Pi became evil and suddenly detested Pie. In fact, Pi became ∞ more evil than Joseph. We will never forget what Joseph did. So this is why our general plan is to get rid of Joseph so that Pi will be equal again. You, my young apprentice, will learn our ways and help to do that!

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The followers of Joseph are called Joseph Lovers. They don’t love him but, well, you get the point. They include most of the boys unless they’re Pie Apprentices. Joseph Lovers are very evil and know about Pie but refuse to believe that it is good. Instead, they honour Pi. But remember, a good Intermediate must know that when they say stuff like, “Pie is bad,” do not go after them and beat them with a stick. Instead, you must simply ignore them unless it’s like huge or one of the Pie Masters tells you to.

62

7This reason describes Joseph.

101 Reasons Why Joseph is Annoying

Ok, technically speaking, there is ∞ reasons why Joseph is annoying and I could go on and on but these are the basic 101 reasons.

The first reason is that he just is annoying. (Duuuuuuuh!!!!!!!!!)

1. Joseph is annoying.Any fool would know that.

The next ones are also pretty obvious but it is also horrible.

2. Joseph hates pie.3. Joseph doesn’t like pie.4. Joseph thinks pie is dumb.

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By Raintalon, Musketeer #2, one of the Pie Masters.

5. Joseph is a mad man because pie is not inside his life.Without pie, you are simply lost in a maze of your pie. If pie blesses you and follows you, it will help you make good decisions.

One of the consequences and what might happen to you if you don’t stay loyal to pie.6. Joseph should go to juvenile because he doesn’t honour pie.

This one really annoys us.7. Joseph likes Barney.I mean, who can listen to Barney songs all day?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

9This is a huge insult to us.

8. *This following rule is not permitted on paper. (Seriously.) Instead we shall replace it with:*Joseph does not listen to any thing we say.

This is just more of his weirdness.9. Joseph says, “BOOM!” instead of, “Pwned!” It’s just unnatural. That is also more evidence that he is an alien. (See rule #18.)

Something is really wrong about his brain.10. Joseph puts people’s belongings on the ground. (A.K.A. JLo’s water bottle.)

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11. Joe hates the 3 musketeers.Can you believe it?

These next 4 are also big insults.12. Joseph hates Pizza-Pollen.13. Joseph hates Pizza-Pie-Pop.14. Joseph hates koo-ka-trasa. 15. Joseph hates anything we say.Gasp! Cry! Horror! Faint!

This one might be a little insulting.16. Joseph makes stupid Newspaper articles.

Ok, I know Alex.T, one of the Joseph Lovers also likes Bob too much but this book’s point is to focus on Joseph.17. Joseph likes Bob too much.

11This is a true fact. Trust me.

19. Joseph is annoying to the 3 musketeers.20. Joseph makes our lives miserable.That is why we have to write this book.

Does it ever occur to you that:21. Joseph is too tall.22. Joseph is too fat.

If it does, congratulations! You’re on your way to becoming a Pie Master.

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Bob

18. Joseph is an alien.

23. Joseph is too weird. Seriously. If you look at…well all of the 101 reasons why Joseph is annoying you’ll find out that he is weird but these reasons emphasize weird.24. Joseph’s hair is green and greasy.25. He has lice. (Continued on reason #26.)26. He keeps his lice as pets.27. Joe has a moustache.28. Joseph has a beard.

13I’m sorry if you find this weird. It

Because of Joseph being annoying:33. Joseph isn’t awesome.Which means:34. Pie hates Joseph because Joseph hates Pie so there will be a war.Which means that we will all die. No one wants to die unless it’s like SDS, or stuff like that. But you get the point.

Some things that he does not understand:35. Joseph does not understand, “Be Quiet!”36. Joseph does not understand, “Shut up!”

Sadly, this is true. 37. Joseph does not honour Pie.

15He is not allowed to become a Pie

might have been PieGrrrrl’s idea because we created the rules but other than that…yeah.29. Joseph’s butt is too fat.

30. Joseph sings the Barney theme song.Ok, this is similar to reason #7 except more in depth. It’s important when you are the followers of Pie and are studying stuff about it.

This one really stands out.31. Joseph is a boy.

Emphasizing reason #31:32. Joseph is too much of a boy.

1441. He should not be in GATE.

Apprentice because:38. Joseph has failed/dishonoured Pie more than once.Like hugely. We make small mistakes but Joseph does stuff like honouring Pi.

39. Joseph dares to insult us.It’s true. I have no idea how he has the nerve to challenge us when he is supposed to be a coward.

40. Joseph is trying to take over the world.By:42. He is secretly making an army of clones of himself which means ∞ more of this.

16love for it.

There’s still something wrong with his brain.44. Joseph has mental problems.So…45. He should go to a brain surgeon.TEE-HEE

43. He is ugly.Not just like, ugly, as in his appearance, but his heart and soul are evil too.

46. If anyone compared Joseph to trash, there would be no difference.…Seriously. You try it.

47. He tortures us by being annoying.Why does he have to be evil?!?!?!?

1745. He should go to a brain surgeon.

Because:54. Joseph’s brain must have ∞ glitches.Because:55. Joseph’s head is full of rubbish.So:52. Joseph is dumb.53. Joseph is stupid.

The most daring thing he does is that he DARES TO INTERFERE WITH OUR LIVES.56. Joseph dares to interfere with our lives.

57. Pie means nothing to him.It’s just impossible!

19Too ugly to say but…*gulps*

Joseph

Just a friendly suggestion. But on the other hand:48. I can’t believe scientists didn’t see Joseph as an alien.I mean it’s obvious! I think the best suggestion would be to go to Joseph and jump off a cliff. I mean, he’s alive so that’s why Pi is so evil which leads us to our next reason.49. Joseph is alive.

50. Joseph tortures us.Ok, skip that one. You know why.

51. Joseph doesn’t have any love for the world.Since Pie is the world/everything (except for some things), Joseph has no

18Mrs. Gorzo says that when she hears

58. Joseph has warts on his feet.Ok, moving on!

Joseph has done all those ugly and horrible things and the military still isn’t after him?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?59. The military should be after Joseph.

60. His life isn’t devoted to pie.Instead:61. He honours Pi.

62. Joseph was deputy in warriors.He could have led us to our doom!!!!!!

63. He is retarded.Not the medical meaning because

20Words describing Joseph.

the word, “retarded.”

64. He is evil.Soooooooooooooooooooo…well, you get the point. Really evil!!!!!!!!!!

65. Every word he says is torture.

66. Joseph moves shoes.A.K.A. JLo’s.

67. *This following rule is not permitted on paper. (Seriously.) Instead we shall replace it with:*Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi, etc.

TEE-HEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!21

77. He insults Egyptians.

68. Joseph is an idiot.69. Joseph is a moron.70. Joseph is a jerk.71. Joseph is C.O.O.L.72. Joe’s a N.E.R.D.

73. He insults cheese by liking it.He is so mean!!!!

74. He exists.Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.TEE-HEE! Ok, maybe I should stop doing that.

75. He insults life.By existing….

76. He insults…22

80. Joseph likes Pi.

(Not my idea!)

78. He speaks Arabic.The language of Pi…………………

79. ……………………. Hi……..Ok, that isn’t the rule but this book of reasons comes from the ancient text book written by Pie Masters that are a million years old. It isn’t even a text book, an ancient scroll actually. Therefore, it has been through the coldest blizzards and winters, the burning sun, monstrous floods and winds, huge tornadoes and typhoons, giant…well, you get the point. So, I cannot read the writing. 23

That’s bad. Very bad.

81. Joseph is a devil.If you shave his hair you’ll find horns.

82. Joseph is Egyptian.I don’t get that either.

83. Joseph loves to draw faces with moustaches.Seriously, what’s the point?

Dear Reader,

Please note that this is incomplete. Thank you.

May pie bless you. And may you be free of the wrath of Joseph.