謝麥寶霞婚姻及家庭治療師

Protect and Prepare our children to survive and thrive in this society and serve God

Character building:Respect

ResponsibilityCooperation

CourageSelf esteem

Control

Leader’s Guide: page 34 SLIDES 12a-b

Power = 100%

1% < Power < 100%Influence

SUCCESSFULFAMILIES Handle their problems Handle their problems

and learn from themand learn from them

UNSUCCESSFULFAMILIES

Make problems worse Make problems worse and don’t learn how to and don’t learn how to improveimprove

Leader’s Guide: page 48 SLIDE 18

Leader’s Guide: page 49 SLIDES 19a-b

WhoWho Owns the Problem?

TEENTEENADULTADULT

ProvideDiscipline

ProvideSupport

Who is the problem behavior directly affecting?

Whose goals are being blocked?

Does the problem involve health, safety, or family values?

Is the problem one that you can reasonably expect your teen to solve?

Leader’s Guide: page 50 SLIDE 20

Dictators DEMAND cooperation.Doormats HOPE for cooperation.Active parents WIN cooperation.

Leader’s Guide: pages 52-53 SLIDE 21a-c

MutualRespect Participation

Two or more people working togetherin a mutually supportive manner

for a common goal

Leader’s Guide: page 54 SLIDE 22

Who Owns the Problem?TEENTEENADULTADULT

ProvideDiscipline

ProvideSupport

Avoid communication blocks

Let teen handle, but offer support using

Active Communication

The road to cooperation is paved with good communication.

The Three Channels: Words Tone of voice Nonverbal cues: body language

and facial expressionLeader’s Guide: pages 54-55 SLIDES 23a-b

Leader’s Guide: page 57 SLIDE 24

Any words, tone of voice, or body languagethat influences a person sharing a problem

to end the communication

COMMANDING

CRITICIZING

DistractingNegative ExpectationsInterrogating

Sarcasm

Moralizing

Psychologizing

Placating

Being a know-it-all

Focusing on Mistakes

Advising

Perfectionism

Leader’s Guide: pages 58-59 SLIDES 25a-d

Courage =The confidence to take a known risk

for a known purpose.

Courage positive action success

Discouragement negative action failure

En-couragement positive action success

Avoid dis-couraging!

Leader’s Guide: page 60 SLIDE 26

“One thing I like about you is _________.”

Be direct. Be specific. Be sincere. Say, “Thank you.”

Leader’s Guide: page 62 SLIDE 27

5. Follow up later.

1. Listen actively.

2. Listen for feelings.

3. Look for alternatives/evaluate consequences.

4. Offer encouragement.

“People don’t care how much you know—until they know how much you care.”

— John C. Maxwell

Leader’s Guide: pages 62-63 SLIDES 28a-b

1. Attention

2. Acknowledgement

3. Empathy

Four ways to offer encouragement to teens:

1. Focus on strengths.

2. Show confidence.

3. Stimulate independence.

4. Value who they are.

Leader’s Guide: page 66 SLIDE 30