Post on 21-Nov-2014
description
Youth Ideas - 10 Characteristics of
Successful Mentors
According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world
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1. Be a friend• Don’t act like a parent• Don’t try to be an authority
figure• Don’t preach about values• DO FOCUS ON THE BOND
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2. Have realistic goals and expectations
• Focus on overall development, not performance and change
• Center initial goals on the relationship itself
• Emphasize friendship over performance
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3. Have fun together• Youth spell love – TIME• Informal activities lay the
foundation for formal ones• Shared activities become great
discussion starters
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4. Give your protégé voice and choice in deciding activities
• Help them to explore possibilities and then make their choices
• Listen more than you talk• Question more than you Preach
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5. Be positive• Praise and encouragement build
self-esteem• Be supportive rather than critical
– focus on solutions rather than problems
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6. Let the protégé have much of the control over what the two of you talk about
• Don’t push, be patient• Be sensitive and responsive to
cues• Let them know that can confide
in you without you becoming judgmental
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7. Listen• Let youth vent without
criticizing them• When you listen they see you
as a friend, not an authority figure
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8. Respect the trust your protégé places in you
• Respond in ways that show you understand. This is not the same as agree
• Reassure the protégé that you are there for them
• Advice should not be dispensed but mutually discovered
• If you have to convey concern or displeasure, do it with caring and understanding
• Sound like a friend not a parent… youth easily discern the difference
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9. Remember your relationship is with the youth and not the youth’s parent
• Maintain cordial contact, but you are not there to be a spy for parents. You are there to be a champion for the youth
• Keep your focus on the youth• You are not there to bring about
the parents wishes, but to help the youth discover their potential
• Be non-judgmental about the family
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10.You are responsible for building the relationship
• Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact
• Don’t expect adult to adult relationships
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