X-Ray ListeningJudy Rees

Judy Rees•Passionate about connecting minds

and bodies via metaphor, to catalyse change

•Co-author of Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds

•International coach and trainer

Asking About Metaphor

•When you are listening at your best, you are like... what? (Starter question only)

•What kind of X (is that X)?•Is there anything else about X?

What did you notice?

Listening Benefits•Brings you clarity about what people mean

•Reduces misunderstandings and conflict

•Helps listenees to think precisely•Builds rapport and trust•Conceals your ignorance!

Are You Listening?1.Listen2.Be distracted3.ListenNotice what happens!

What Makes A Good Listener?

Your suggestions

Deeper Listening?1.Person A talks about

something important to them2.Person B listens without

speaking (can smile and nod)Notice what happens!

What Happened?• When you were being listened

to?• When you were the listener?• To the relationship between

you?

Parrot Phrasing

Parrot Phrasing1.Person A talks about something important to them

2.Person B encourages them by repeating selected words and phrases

3.Person C listens for metaphors and makes some notes for later

A waitress increased her tips by 70% simply by repeating the

customer’s order back to them in their own words, rather than

saying “okay” or “coming right up”

University of Nijmegen, 2005

Metaphor

MetaphorThought is made of

metaphor - the native language of the

unconscious mind

MetaphorDescribes one kind of

thing in terms of another kind of thing

Surfaces And

EssencesDouglas Hofstadter and

Emmanuel Sander

Metaphors In Mind•Categorising•Creating•Interpreting•Deciding •Learning

Coins Activity

•Take a handful of coins•Arrange them to represent either: •you and your family, or •you and your colleagues

Metaphor In Language

•Six metaphors per minute•Side-effect of metaphoric thought•Can be used to connect with the

unconscious mind

Metaphor in Thought

•Change in metaphor in language can lead to change in thought

•Change in metaphor in thought “rearranges neurology” - everything changes

The Mind

David Grove’sClean

Language

Precision toolkit for working with

metaphor in thought

Noticing Metaphors

Natural Metaphors•Cliches and proverbs•Common metaphors - eg. journey,

game, space, force•“It’s like...” is stated or implied

Directing attention with questions

Clean Language Questions•Precision tools for working with

people’s thoughts and directing attention

•Designed to minimise content input

•Include as few presuppositions and metaphors as possible

•Use only the given question, with one or more of the person’s own words

•“And when...” with a parrot-phrase is used as a connector

Clean Language Questions

David Grove

1950 - 2008

Clean Language•Created by David Grove for therapy•Modelled/codified by Penny Tompkins

and James Lawley•Now ideas applied in multiple contexts

- management, coaching, marketing etc

•Increasingly supported by academic research

“Constraint inspires creativity”

What happens when you are asked

a question?

The art of directing attention

The 2 Lazy Jedi Questions

2 Lazy Jedi Qs: Uses

•Finding out more about anything!

2 Lazy Jedi Questions

•What kind of X (is that X)?•Is there anything else about X?

Words Are Personal

•Think of a flower•What kind of flower is your flower?

Using The 2 LJQs•What’s one of the goals you have in

life? (Starter only)•What kind of X (is that X)?•Is there anything else about X?

What did you notice?

The Dark Side Of Metaphor

Discovering A Metaphor•Listen for, and notice, natural

metaphors•Or ask: “And that’s... like... what?”•Ask very slowly, with long pauses

•Metaphors are personal•Ask Clean Language questions - the

details are always different

Handling The Dark Side•Notice - is this a metaphor for a

problem or an outcome?•If it’s a problem, take care! Either:•Use Power Switch immediately or•Ask up to two LJQs before asking

for a metaphor, then use the Power Switch

Exploring A Metaphor•Start with “What would you like to

have happen?”•Explore that outcome with Clean

Language questions•Listen for, and explore, metaphors •If drifting into problem, use Power

Switch

The Power Switch

•And when <problem>, what would you like to have happen?

The Power SwitchUses•Changing focus from negative to

positive•Changing mood/state •Unsticking•Persuasion, influence, sales•Conflict resolution

Power Switch Practice

•Start by stating a minor problem •“And when <problem>, what

would you like to have happen?”

Power Switch Practice

•This time, start with a metaphor for a minor problem

•And <problem> is like... what?>

Practice•Person A talks about

something/someone they love (or a metaphor for that)

•What kind of X?•Is there anything else about X?•“And when <problem>, what

would you like to have happen?”

Feeling to Metaphor•Person A mentions a feeling

•What kind of X?•Is there anything else about X?•Where/whereabouts is X?•And that’s like... what?

Unlocking The Emotional Brain

Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, Laurel Hulley

Coaching With Clean

•Get a “towards” outcome•Get a metaphor for that outcome•Develop the metaphor until chimes•No fixing! Elicitation is the

intervention

Coaching With Clean•What would you like to have

happen (as a result of this module)?•What kind of X?•Is there anything else about X?•Where/whereabouts is X?•And that’s like... what?

Necessary Conditions

•What needs to happen for X?•Conditions are often “nested”

When you are working at your

best, you are like what?

Starts 3 Octoberhttp://bit.ly/181xxx

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Judy Rees www.xraylistening.com - blog

www.learncleanlanguage.com - resources

www.judyrees.co.uk - coaching

Tom Petershttp://youtu.be/D7r

Fhf7G84U

James Gearyhttp://youtu.be/2c

U56SWXHFw

Caitlin Walkerhttp://youtu.be/aV

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