Post on 10-Mar-2016
description
Publication Team
Elias HageEditor-in-Chief
•
Anthony HalsteadCopy Editor
•
Monica RectoLayout Editor
•
Courtney ShingleExecutive Assitant
•
Jacob Baugher and Emma Lipnicki Cover Artist
Featuring Kathryn Carnell
Cover Model
Table of Contents
Letter from the Editor- 4 -
Highlighting Our Neglect of Self-Love - 5 -
On Love and Atheism- 8 -
Did Jesus Really Love Peter?- 11 -
How Far is Too Far?- 14 -
On Love and the Liturgy- 16 -
Pull at my heart
Pull at my heart and tug at my tears,The danger of love is losing in fear.
The Powerful voice to which I once clung Has slipped through the cracks like dust in the rug.
´,·OO�ORYH�\RX�IRUHYHUµ�EULQJV�MR\�WR�P\�KHDUW��WKHQ�WKH�FRQÁLFW�LW�VWLUV�WHDUV�PH�DSDUW�She rocked me like mamma, She held me like daddy.
Both parts she played, both songs she sang.Forever she’ll have my heart.
Words reach the surface, Action reaches the heart.6DFULÀFH�OLIWV�WKH�VRXO�
“I’ll love you forever” no matter your endeavorAnd to her heart she held.
Love him she did;Love him she does;
Love him she always will.
No limits to love that comes from above;-XVW�VLPSOH��VHOÁHVV��VDFULÀFH�RI�ORYH�IRUHYHU�
-Elizabeth Collins
letter from the editor.
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April letter from the editor.
4
This is the last issue of the semester and my last issue as editor-in-chief. I can honestly say that I have learned so much from my time on staff and from the many mistakes I have made over the span of this last year. I have learned that most efforts will go unnoticed; I have learned that a great team is not just a necessity, but a blessing; I have learned that sometimes people just need something to be angry at; I have learned the importance of admitting my mistakes; but most of all, I have learned that – clichés aside – if I am not acting out of love then my actions are either harming myself or, and more importantly, someone else.
When I was young(er) I used to wish two things didn’t exist: sleep and love (we’ve all been 10 and bursting with energy so I’ll leave the explanation for sleep aside). After the death of my Grandfather – I was 12 at the time – I thought that love was the cause of the worst kind of pain. “If I didn’t love him so much I wouldn’t be hurting so much now that he’s gone!” It was love’s fault that my friend came into school crying after his parents got that divorce – why does he have to care so much! I held such a disdain for the pain that I saw and felt from separation, from a break in the relationship between the lover and the beloved. I couldn’t understand why anyone would go outside loving blood relatives and put himself on the stand for unnecessary hurt.
Years later I experienced such a love followed by an “unnecessary hurt.” Everything clicked. When you love someone so much you are willing to experience any hurt for the sake of the other person. Love gives everything meaning, even pain. Pain which stems from love becomes sacrifice. Love is what made my hurt holy.
Elias Hage
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Mature followers of Christianity have sur-
passed simplistic, Disney-esque notions of what love
is. We know that love is not a feeling. We know it’s
not merely meeting a friend or partner’s expecta-
tions, nor endless attention, nor devotion of resources
(though at times it may involve similar things). To
love someone is to desire the highest good for them,
and to strive to attain that good.
Love is not a passive verb, where you cuddle
your beloved and hope that things work out for them.
It is an action verb that requires staying up all night to
listen to someone cry, lending money when you need
it yourself, and maybe even breaking up with some-
one, if that truly is what’s best.
I propose that this active love is essential to
live life as a faithful Christian, especially when love
that is between oneself and… oneself. Self-love is
the cornerstone of all Christian virtue, as without an
awareness of our own value, we have no reason to
VWULYH�IRU�JRDOV�KLJKHU�WKDQ�ÀHHWLQJ�SOHDVXUH��3HUVRQDO�experiences, however, have lead me to believe that as
Christians, we are so afraid of sin, we press ourselves
and our peers to never, ever do anything wrong. We
go so far to stop sin that we even threaten to withdraw
our love from the sinner—which is highly detrimental,
especially if that sinner is oneself.
But this is not an article about guilt. This is an
article about virtue. I propose that in order to be vir-
tuous, it is not enough to avoid evil, but one must do
good. A simple example of virtue would be a man of-
fering his coat to a freezing young woman. If he were
merely to neglect passing judgment on her for forget-
ting to dress warmly, he has not sinned, but has missed
an opportunity to grow in virtue. As Chesterton said:
“Mercy does not mean not being cruel, or sparing
people revenge or punishment; it means a plain and
positive thing like the sun, which one has either seen
or not seen.” I believe that action is that “plain and
positive thing” Chesterton speaks of, and that action
should be motivated by self-love.
The previous example is easy to understand, as virtue through loving others is easy to exemplify. In this modern age, however, fear of sin has driven many Christians to neglect or misunderstand the self-love that virtue requires. To recount a personal example, I often hear girls explaining modesty as “helping a brother out,” making sure that a man isn’t tempted by a woman’s body. This line of reasoning makes sense. You are making sure he avoids evil, and making sure you avoid evil. But, by accepting the mere absence of temptation as the definition of modesty, we miss an opportunity to practice the virtue. The nature of the virtue of modesty is recognition of the dignity of our own bodies. We must consider ourselves and our dignity of primary importance in order to cultivate the virtue of modesty. If the virtue of modesty simply consists of avoiding tempting other people, how do we grow? As inherently valuable children of God, we deserve love from everyone, ourselves included. When dealing with a virtue, it is not prideful or selfish to ask, “What’s in it for me? How can I improve myself as a person?” Thus I propose that you should not consider modesty as a service to other people, but a service to yourself. The solution to the question of modesty is easy: Dress in a way that is respectful of yourself. This simple rule eliminates the question of specifics. “Can I wear a bikini?” and “Do I have to wear straps?” become irrelevant. If I go running in a sports bra because it’s hot outside, I am not disrespecting myself. I am, in fact, treating myself respectfully, by avoiding heat stroke. In his book Love and Responsi-bility, Pope (soon to be Saint) John Paul II described a similar situation: “When a person uses...a form of dress in accordance with its objective function we cannot claim to see anything immodest in it, even if it involves partial nudity.” If I am objectified by a man while I am treating myself respectfully,
Highlighting Our Neglect of Self-LoveKathleen Monin
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I would argue that he is at fault. Perhaps it would be charitable, not modest, of me to consider this man’s concupiscence, and help him avoid temptation, but that is another matter. One should never mistake self-love for the sin of pride. In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle says that “the man is thought to be proud who thinks himself worthy of great things, being worthy of them; for he
who does so beyond his deserts is a fool, but no virtu-
ous man is foolish or silly.” In this passage, Aristotle
distinguishes the vice of pride from proper self-love,
by showing that pride is the vice of a fool who thinks
himself worthy of things he does not deserve. In this
passage, Aristotle alludes to the spectrum on which
DOO�VLQ�DQG�YLUWXH�OLH��3ULGH�LV�D�VLQ�WKDW�LQYROYHV�DQ�excess of self-love, while sins such as immodesty,
fornication, and gluttony, which involve some abuse
or misuse of a person’s own body, clearly spring from
LQVXI¿FLHQW�DSSUHFLDWLRQ�RI�RQH¶V�YDOXH��6HOI�ORYH�provides the personal sense of integrity and value with
which to combat these sins.
If we continue to disregard the self-love that is
the cornerstone of virtue, we will see ourselves merely
as individuals whom other people have an obligation
to value. Thus, we encounter a paradox where we
are constantly guilted into taking care of ourselves
only for the sake of someone else. In his book, On the
Genealogy of Morality, Nietzsche regards the common
Christian morality as reactive, and based on nega-
tive reinforcement. Christian morality, he believes,
is often believed to merely be a list of many things
we must not do and must stay away from, and is only
concerned with the attention and opinions of others. I
believe that this common perception of Christian
morality is not what Catholicism truly teaches. Christ
came to save man because there is an element of man
which is inherently good, not because man had the
potential to avoid evil. Our redemption through Christ
ought to inspire us to pursue the highest goods, and to
neglect the lower and lowest ones. Too often, however,
a lack of self-love leads us to encourage each other to
pursue lesser, easier goals than the perfection to which
we are called.
For example, we are told that we should
abstain from sex and other arousing activities before
marriage because “How would your future spouse
feel if he/she knew you did that?” Honestly, if he’s
really meant to be my future spouse, he should have a
great enough love of the goodness in me to forgive my
weaknesses and mistakes. As well-intentioned as the
reminder of my future spouse’s feelings may be, such
reminders cannot be the cornerstone of my chastity.
Avoiding future marital stress is a lesser good than
preserving my integrity and value, which self-love
naturally provides. If we place too much stress on a
hypothetical spouse’s feelings, we neglect to recall
the importance of ourselves. Isn’t it more important
that I make decisions based on the well-being of my
soul than on the potential feelings of my husband? As
Christians, we should redirect the energy that we aim
at sin into self-love. I am an invaluable subject, and
because of this my self-love should guide me to use
my sexual capacities for the purposes they are intend-
ed—not because a potential partner might experience
jealousy.
Flawed though we are, we must recognize the
love which we deserve and the beauty to which we are
called. This recognition is the soul of self-love, and the
foundation on which we can rise to the challenge of
virtue and grace. This burden is great and this journey
is long. As I’m sure any saint would tell you, there is
JUHDW�GLI¿FXOW\�LQ�OLYLQJ�D�OLIH�RI�YLUWXH��EXW�QR�IXO¿OOHG�life is easily lived.
“If the virtue of modesty simply consists of avoiding tempting other people, how do we grow?”
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I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt,only more love.
-Mother Teresa
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On Love and AtheismJames Germain
As Catholics we hold that love is the highest
good for which we were made and for which we live.
,W�LV�LQ�ORYH�WKDW�ZH�¿QG�PHDQLQJ�DQG�SXUSRVH���,W�LV�RQO\�LQ�D�FRPSOHWH�GHYRWLRQ�WR�ORYH�WKDW�ZH�FDQ�¿QG�true happiness and satisfaction. My controversial
claim is that you do not have to be Catholic, or even
believe in God, in order to hold this view. I would
like to put forth that a purely philosophical argument
VXI¿FHV�WR�UHYHDO�WKH�ORJLF�RI�RXU�SRVLWLRQ�DQG�HYHQ�DQ�Atheist can be convinced that it is for the sake of love
that we ought to devote our lives.
As Christians we can hold to this view simply
on the basis of Scripture which tells us in
1 Corinthians 3:1-3,
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but
do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or
a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy
and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all
I possess to the poor and give over my body to
hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I
gain nothing.”
And concluding in verse 13,
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and
love. But the greatest of these is love.”
We might also consider Matthew 22, when
Jesus is asked, “Teacher, what is the greatest com-
mandment?” and Jesus responds, “‘Love the Lord
your God with all your heart and with all your soul
DQG�ZLWK�DOO�\RXU�PLQG��7KLV�LV�WKH�¿UVW�DQG�JUHDWHVW�commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your
QHLJKERU�DV�\RXUVHOI�¶��$OO�WKH�/DZ�DQG�WKH�3URSKHWV�hang on these two commandments.” The two greatest
commandments are to love.
If the greatest commandment is to love, does it
not follow that the greatest sin is to violate this man-
date? That is, the greatest sin is not something we do,
it is not murder or rape or abortion or homosexual
conduct. The greatest sin is to not love. In any other
sin we simply violate our purpose in being. In refusing
to love we utterly fail at it.
At the heart of all sin is this, a failure to love.
If I truly loved my fellow drivers I would never be
rude to them or impatient with them. Would you ever
view pornography if you truly loved the people in
those pictures? This is what it means to live for love;
that I consider other people before myself, that I place
their good before my own, that their happiness is the
source of my joy.
When we are children, heaven is often present-
ed as a type of reward for a life well lived. We come
to think that if we are good and virtuous then God will
reward us with eternal life in paradise. When we enter
more fully into the mystery of life we come to real-
LVH�WKDW�ORYH�LV�WKH�UHZDUG��LW�LV�LQ�ORYLQJ�WKDW�ZH�¿QG�SDUDGLVH��:H�¿QG�LQ�ORYH�WKH�SXUSRVH�DQG�PHDQLQJ�DQG�joy that we are seeking, not as an arbitrary reward, but
as the natural ends of the act.
As Catholics we hold that God is love and as
we devote ourselves more fully to love we enter more
fully into relationship with Him. Thus, our love deter-
mines the state of our eternity. If there is a heaven, and
our life there is dependent upon how well we loved
here, then clearly we should make every effort to grow
in this virtue. Living for myself may have momentary
pleasures but carries eternal consequences. If there is a
heaven, live for love.
What if there is no heaven and this world is all
that counts? Consider that no matter how great you
may become, how famous, how rich, how powerful,
someday you will die and in time so too will everyone
who remembers you. Someday the very universe will
grow cold and there will be no one left to remember
87KH�*DGÁ\��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
anything. If this world is all there is then the future
and the memories we leave behind are pointless. They
DUH�DV�ÀHHWLQJ�DV�ZH�DUH��� What of the past? It is already over. It can only
matter in so far as it impacts the present. One can
strive to live for the past, but what does this accom-
plish? The past is past and irretrievable. We cannot
change or alter it in any way. All we accomplish by
GZHOOLQJ�RQ�WKH�SDVW�LV�VDFUL¿FLQJ�RXU�SUHVHQW��,W�FDQ�offer us knowledge and guidance, but not purpose or
meaning. To live for the future is pointless. To live
for the past is simply foolish.
All we have then is the present, the now, this
very moment. Does it then follow that I should seek
from this moment what joy I may, what pleasure and
FRPIRUW�,�FDQ�¿QG"�,W�PD\�EH�WKDW�WKLV�FDQ�RQO\�EH�learned with time, but no matter how much pleasure,
power or fame one may gain, it will never satisfy
them. No one has ever found meaning through living
for themselves and their own happiness. The only
thing I am left with is love of another.
Now, you could point out that I never estab-
lished that there is purpose to life, maybe existence
is actually meaningless. If you are raising this point
as a counter to my opening claim then you should
pat yourself on that back, because you win. I cannot
refute you and must acknowledge the possibility that
there is no true joy to be had in this life and momen-
tary pleasures are all we have. I can, however,
present you with a dichotomy, or rather, two dichot-
omies.
The question at hand is this, to live for myself
or my neighbor. It does not matter, for our purposes
here, if there is a heaven and a hell. It only matters
whether or not you believe in them. If you do, then
consider this; every action, every inaction and every
thought, trains us to focus either on others or on our-
selves. Every time you choose yourself over another
you are training yourself for hell. Every time you
choose another over yourself you are training your-
self for heaven. Every action, inaction and thought,
QR�PDWWHU�KRZ�VPDOO��KDV�HWHUQDO�UDPL¿FDWLRQV� Even if you do not believe in heaven, I still
IHHO�FRQ¿GHQW�LQ�WKH�FODLP�WKDW�HLWKHU�WKHUH�LV�QR�meaning in life or the meaning of life is to love. If
there is no meaning in life, recognizing that there is
at least momentary pleasure in serving others, then
you might as well try loving. After all, you have
nothing to lose. If there is meaning to be had, then
we should pursue it. What else matters? Imagine if
your life could have had meaning and you chose to
VHW�LW�DVLGH�IRU�PRPHQWDU\�JUDWL¿FDWLRQ� You know, what makes hell into hell is not
VRPH�JUHDW�¿UH�RU�GHPRQLF�WRUWXUH��+HOO�LV�PDGH�KHOO�by the total and utter despair of the people within, the
¿QDO�UHDOL]DWLRQ�RI�WKH�FRPSOHWH�SRLQWOHVVQHVV�RI�WKHLU�existence. Even if you do not believe in a supernatu-
ral hell, believe in this one, for you do not need to die
to experience it.
If there is a life after death and how we live
now determines the state of our life then, then we
should live for love. If there is no life beyond this
realm and this life is all we have then live for love,
for love is all there is. Truly, the most important per-
son in the world is the person I could be loving right
now.
9
“What if there is no heaven and this world is all that counts?”
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If you love somebody, let them go,for if they return, they were always yours.
And if they don’t, they never were.
-Khalil Gibran
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Did Jesus Really Love Peter?Courtney Shingle
Whenever someone criticizes us, it’s easy to
jump to the conclusion that they don’t care. It makes
us feel like they aren’t on our side anymore. It’s easy
to fall into the “If you really loved me, you would ac-
cept me for who I am” trap. But this line of reasoning
LV�SDWHQWO\�IDOVH��,W�EHWUD\V�WKH�LQÀXHQFH�RI�VRFLHW\�RQ�our view of love that we would so quickly subscribe to
the idea that love is the same as acceptance or toler-
ance. It shows how little we understand love.
Ask me to show you an example of this;
I’ll direct your attention to the social war that is the
marriage debate and LGBTQ activism. We constantly
hear that we are supposed to accept individuals for
who they are and allow them to express themselves
any way they choose – because that’s what it means
WR�ORYH�\RXU�QHLJKERU��$Q\�&KULVWLDQ�ZKR�¿JKWV�WR�GH-fend marriage and the family is branded “hateful” and
“intolerant.” But popular opinion fails to recognize an
unpopular truth: true love does not tolerate.
Here at Franciscan, I think we can all agree
that the epitome of Love was Jesus Christ. If we are
to believe that love and tolerance are the same, cer-
tainly His example will reinforce this, right? But it
doesn’t. While Jesus and His Disciples are in Caesarea
3KLOLSSL��3HWHU�FRUUHFWO\�LGHQWL¿HV�-HVXV�DV�WKH�&KULVW��the Son of God, and Jesus responds saying, “Blessed
DUH�\RX��6LPRQ�%DU�-RQDK��IRU�ÀHVK�DQG�EORRG�KDV�QRW�revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.
$QG�,�DOVR�VD\�WR�\RX�WKDW�\RX�DUH�3HWHU��DQG�RQ�WKLV�rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades
shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:17-18). But
a short time later when Jesus is telling His Disciples
DERXW�+LV�IRUWKFRPLQJ�GHDWK�DQG�5HVXUUHFWLRQ��3HWHU�rebukes Jesus and Jesus responds, “Get behind Me,
Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mind-
ful of the things of God, but the things of men” (Mat-
thew 16:23). Can Jesus be acting out of love in the
¿UVW�LQVWDQFH�DQG�QRW�DFWLQJ�RXW�RI�ORYH�LQ�WKH�VHFRQG"�Of course, we know that Jesus can never contradict
Himself, and since he is the very essence of Love,
both examples must be motivated by love.
� 7KHUHIRUH��ZH�ORRN�WR�RXU�GH¿QLWLRQV�RI�ORYH�and tolerance. To love means literally “a feeling of
strong or constant affection for a person.” Tolerance
is “willingness to accept feelings, habits, or beliefs
that are different from your own,” which seems nice
enough in theory. That’s as far as language can take
us, which makes it easy to misuse our language and
include tolerance as a key component of love. But if
we look to the implication of each, we can see a vast
difference between the two ideas.
Tolerance is passive at best and indifferent at
worst; it says about the other’s actions, “I don’t care
what you do, so long as it doesn’t interfere with my
life.” It declares its inability to care about the other,
VHO¿VK�DQG�GHWDFKHG��,W�FDUHV�QRW�IRU�WKH�RXWFRPH�RU�well being of the other, and so it doesn’t bother to
address the problems that the other may need to face.
� /RYH�LV�DFWLYH�DQG�DOHUW��LW�LV�VHOÀHVV�DQG�SD-tient. It proclaims, “I care about your actions because
you matter to me.” It is involved in the other’s life so
much that it would risk great personal discomfort for
the other’s well being. To tolerate is to feign concern;
to love is to show it.
Being intolerant does not, however, mean that
ORYH�VHHNV�WR�KDUP��,�&RULQWKLDQV����DI¿UPV�WKDW�ORYH�is kind and does not dishonor others, but rather pro-
tects. What would you rather hear your beloved say:
“I tolerate you” or “I love you?” It is much like the
parent of a small child. When I was three years old,
my parents said time and time again that I was not al-
lowed to put my hands on the top of the stove - which
I could just barely reach. One fateful day I ignored
their instructions and did what I was forbidden to do,
117KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
burning my right hand in the process. I cried and my
PRP�FRPIRUWHG�PH��¿[HG�P\�KDQG��DQG�GULHG�P\�tears. But by no means did she allow me to believe
that what I had done was right. She made it very clear
that I had caused myself harm by not listening to her,
and she was angry because she cared about my safety.
Does tolerance seem suitable in this instance?
The interaction between the adulterous woman
DQG�-HVXV�LQ�-RKQ���LV�VLPLODU��7KH�3KDULVHHV�EULQJ�D�woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus, hop-
ing to force him to choose between compassion and
righteousness. They inform Jesus of her crime, with
great pride reminding the crowd that the punishment
for adultery is death by stoning, and ask him what
should be done. Jesus asks that any man without sin
EH�WKH�¿UVW�WR�FRQGHPQ�KHU��DQG�+H�VSDUHV�WKH�ZRPDQ�– but instructs her to “Go and sin no more.” He spares
her, but He doesn’t declare her actions acceptable; He
commands her to be better than she has been and to
leave her sinful life behind. Would tolerance here be
more compassionate?
As Christians we are called to love one anoth-
er. Sometimes that means there is disappointment and
disapproval. Sometimes it means that another person’s
actions or beliefs are wrong, but we are still willing to
embrace those who fall because we know that we have
all fallen. We just love them too much to let them stay
fallen. We make every effort to help them stand up tall
and live righteously.
The epitome of the relationship that Jesus had
ZLWK�3HWHU�FRPHV�ZKHQ�&KULVW�UHVWRUHV�KLP�LQ�-RKQ�����&KULVW�IRUHWROG�WKDW�3HWHU�ZRXOG�GHQ\�KLP�WKUHH�WLPHV��DQG�WKRXJK�3HWHU�ZDV�YHKHPHQW�WKDW�KH�ZRXOG�rather die than do so, when the time comes he denies
Him. One can only imagine the burden of guilt and
shame he must have felt. Upon Jesus’ resurrection and
DSSHDUDQFH�WR�+LV�GLVFLSOHV��+H�DVNV�3HWHU�WKUHH�WLPHV�ZKHWKHU�KH�ORYHV�+LP��HDFK�WLPH��3HWHU�DQVZHUV�\HV�and the Lord responds, “Feed My sheep.” This act of
IRUJLYHQHVV�GRHVQ¶W�MXVWLI\�3HWHU¶V�DFWLRQV��5DWKHU��LW�shows him that Christ continued to love him though he
had done wrong, and reminds him to act rightly in the
future.
In the book Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis is
talking about why Christians attempt to do good when
he makes the following statement: “[The Christian]
does not think God will love us because we are good,
but that God will make us good because He loves us.”
Love is not contingent upon who I am or what I’ve
done; but it doesn’t allow me to go on believing that
ZURQJ�LV�ULJKW�DQG�DOO�WKLQJV�DUH�DFFHSWDEOH�RU�SUR¿W-DEOH��'LG�-HVXV�UHDOO\�ORYH�3HWHU"�$EVROXWHO\��+H�ORYHG�him abundantly like He loves each and every one of
us. He loves us even though we are stained with sin.
He was willing to give His very life to remove that
stain and set us free. But He was never willing to leave
us that way. True love acts in the best interest of the
other – not to maintain the status quo, not to keep from
upsetting someone, but to care for that person more
than anything and protect that person, even if it’s pro-
tecting them from himself. Love as Christ loved, not
as the world loves, and then you will see a real change
in people.
12
“Love is active and alert; it is VHOÁHVV�DQG�SDWLHQW�µ
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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
-Albert Einstein
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Love is messy. Love is complicated. Love –
and I don’t just mean Eros (romantic love) here, but
DOO�NLQGV�RI�ORYH�±�À\�LQ�WKH�IDFH�RI�D�&KULVWLDQ�ZRUOG�view which wishes to see things clear-cut, black and
white, safe.
� 7KLV�LV�RIWHQ�D�GLI¿FXOW�WUXWK�WR�IDFH�IRU�WKH�VRUW�of Catholic who attends Franciscan University. Many
of us come from tough backgrounds. Despite the mean
stereotypes, the so-called “Frannie” isn’t sheltered.
We’ve seen the world and we don’t like it. Our pasts
are peppered with broken hearts and abuses, sexual
DGGLFWLRQV�DQG�TXLFN�¿[�VROXWLRQV�WKDW�QHYHU�UHDOO\�¿[HG�DQ\WKLQJ�� But now we’ve found Christ. We’ve made it
here to Franciscan where it’s relatively safe and we
FDQ�¿QDOO\�UHOD[��*RQH�DUH�WKH�KLJK�VFKRRO�³IULHQGV´�who bullied us, far behind us are the boyfriends or
girlfriends who made us feel ashamed, and out-of-
sight are the parents who – despite their best efforts –
never quite gave us what we were searching for.
$QG�KHUH�ZH�¿QG�RXUVHOYHV��)RU�XV��)UDQFLVFDQ�8QL-versity isn’t a bubble (no matter what anyone says).
It’s a nest. Here in this nest, we can retreat from the
chaos and cruelty, danger and depravity of the secular
world below us.
And with our wounded pasts still fresh our
PLQGV��ZH¶UH�RIWHQ�RYHUMR\HG�WR�¿QG�WKDW�WKLV�QHVW�KDV�just what we need to feel safe and secure: rules. The
rules aren’t too oppressive of course (here’s looking at
you, Christendom College), but they’re just strict and
present enough to give us an often-much-needed sense
of security.
There are rules for everything in this nest: rules
for living quarters, rules for sleeping, rules for how to
pray; and for a while, that’s enough.
But then, one day, something terrifying comes
along. Something big and scary and messy and gritty
which threatens the balance of the protective, rule-
bound nest we value so deeply. And try as we might to
stop it, it comes for all of us in the end.
I’m speaking, of course, about love. It’s easy to
gloss over love when one isn’t experiencing it, when
one isn’t facing it headlong. But in all truth, love is a
terrifying prospect.
The Church describes love as an act of self-gift
(“Man, who is the only creature on earth which God
ZLOOHG�IRU�LWVHOI��FDQ�IXOO\�¿QG�KLPVHOI�RQO\�WKURXJK�D�sincere gift of himself” GS #24) which is “the oppo-
site of escape.” For those of us who treasure the safety
of the nest, these facts are precisely what make love
scary. Before love, we could turn inward and live by
the safety of rule. In love, however, we feel the call
to turn outside of ourselves, towards and for the good
of another, and the prospect of being lead into this
XQFKDUWHG�WHUULWRU\�LV�XQGHUVWDQGDEO\�DQG�MXVWL¿DEO\�nerve-wracking.
In Eros (romantic love), the situation’s even
scarier. Now not only do we have to deal with the
troublesome Divine call to step outside of ourselves,
EXW�DOVR�WKH�FRQIXVLQJ��FRQÀLFWLQJ��SULPRUGLDO��DQG�sacramental desire to consummate our love via the
nuptial act (that’s sex, for those of you who are won-
dering).
Some choose to avoid this chaos all together.
If you’re the man who’s decided that girls are just
not worth the trouble, or the girl who’s decided that
passivity is her only option while all her friends go off
with their boyfriends, my heart goes out to you.
But for many more of us, love is somewhat
WHPSWLQJ�GHVSLWH�LWV�FRPSOH[LWLHV��$QG�VR�ZH�¿QG�ourselves entering into relationships. We go on night
walks, watch movies in groups of friends, and do all
the other things that twitterpated Frannies love to do
together.
And yet, try as we might, the fear that we
experienced at the prospect of love does not go away.
While we enjoy our time with that person, we often
walk away feeling confused or ashamed. We’re not
7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
How Far is Too Far?Jacob Popcak
VXUH�ZKDW�WR�GR�ZLWK�WKH�GHVLUHV�WKDW�QRZ�¿OO�RXU�VHQVHV��We’re afraid of what we might do. We’re afraid of the
mistakes we might make. We’re afraid what we might
do to our beloved. We’re afraid of what our beloved
might do to us.
And just like that, our focus has turned inward
once again. No longer can we turn our attention out-
ward towards our beloved in love. Now we retreat in-
ward, scared of what might happen. And as the relation-
VKLS�ZH�¿QG�RXUVHOYHV�LQ�VWDUWV�WR�IHHO�D�OLWWOH�WRR�PXFK�like the world of our wounded pasts, we start longing
for the safety of that nest.
And so we incorporate into our relationships
WKDW�ZKLFK�PDGH�IHHO�XV�IHHO�VR�VDIH�ZKHQ�ZH�¿UVW�DU-rived in the nest: rules.
� 6XGGHQO\��RXU�UHODWLRQVKLSV�DUH�¿OOHG�ZLWK�UXOHV��rules for when we can be together, rules for how we
can be together, and – worst of all – rules for how far is
‘too-far’.
For the past several years, I’ve worked as
Theology of the Body-based speaker and writer. I’ve
studied at the Theology of the Body Institute under
Christopher West and I’ve been blessed and privileged
to do a number of talks on the themes of Theology of
the Body, some through Franciscan and some not. But
no matter where I go and no matter who I’m speaking
to – whether he be a young teen or an angry blogger – I
can’t seem to get away from this question of “How far
is too far?”
No matter how many times I’m asked this ques-
tion, it always breaks my heart. Because, no matter who
asks it, it’s almost always being asked because he or she
is longing for the safety and security of the rule-bound
nest. This may not be the nest of Franciscan University
(though it often is), but it’s always a nest of rules. It’s a
nest which sees love (if only implicitly) as a dangerous
thing, and therefore seeks to temper it with rules and
order. “Ah-hah!” says the “how-far-is-too-far” person.
“At last, I have discovered the solution to the scariness
of love! I shall come up with rules for my partner and I
to follow, and then mistakes are impossible”.
But here’s the problem with that outlook: when
someone asks it, they’re not really asking, “How far is
too far?” What they’re really asking is, “How close can
my partner and I get to sin without sinning?” To even
ask the question is to fundamentally take the wrong
approach.
Now don’t get me wrong: certainly, there are
several behaviors which – though not wrong – are in-
trinsically nuptial (sex is one, of course, but also some
of those things which one might consider “foreplay”),
and should therefore only be performed in the proper
context (marriage). However, outside of those acts,
there’s no objective, across-the-board, same-for-every-
one, “too far” line.
Instead, there remains the Divine call to step
outside oneself for the love and good of another person.
If one heeds this call, one is not faced with the question
of “how far is too far?” but rather, “What can I do to
PDNH�P\�EHORYHG�IHHO�ORYHG�DQG�GLJQL¿HG"´ Suddenly, a question that’s as intrinsically
LQZDUG�IRFXVHG��VHO¿VK��DQG�JODVV�KDOI�IXOO�DV�³+RZ�IDU�is too far?” becomes an ongoing conversation, a series
of questions like, “What’s going to make my beloved
feel loved and adored?”, “What can I do to communi-
cate my beloved’s worth?”, and, “How can I make it so
that my beloved walks away from this particular time
WRJHWKHU�IHHOLQJ�PRUH�FRQ¿GHQW��SURXG��DQG�UHVSHFWHG"´ When a couple asks, “How far is too far?”
they’re hyper-focusing on the potential sin. It’s a cyni-
cal view to take, and one which essentially asks, “What
can I get out of my partner and how many desires can I
satisfy before I have to go to confession?”
But imagine a relationship in which you and
your beloved, rather than setting an objective, all-or-
nothing rule of what is and what is not “too far” have
an ongoing, prayerful, and almost daily conversation
in which both of you come before God and evaluate
maturely what will best make you both feel most loved.
This is the truly Catholic approach. By follow-
LQJ�RXU�'LYLQH�FDOO�WR�VWHS�XQVHO¿VKO\�RXWVLGH�RI�RXU-selves, we simultaneously must embrace the messiness,
organic-ness, and potential for failure that comes with
love. Is it scary? Of course. But it’s love.
157KH�*DGÁ\��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
Love and the LiturgyTyson Murphy
Through the words of institution (“This is my
ERG\´��WKH�VDFUL¿FH�LV�PDGH�SUHVHQW�DQG�ZH�VHH�KRZ�much the Lord loves us. St. Augustine speaks of this
in relation to the great commandment to love one an-
other as the Lord has loved us. He speaks of this be-
ing a demonstration of the degree to which the Lord
loves us and that if the Lord loves us so entirely then
we too must love others in the same fashion. Indeed,
if we truly acknowledge the dignity of the human
person and its profound tie to the Incarnation, then
we will see the Lord in all persons and treat them
with a similar love with which we treat the Blessed
Sacrament. The poor are especially privileged to
this because of their status in the eyes of God and
the opportunity they present to us to be expressions
of God’s love and mercy for mankind. This we can
only experience and express properly with a devotion
to the Eucharist. The Eucharist, being Jesus Christ,
who is God and God is love. Love the sinner, hate
the sin. Love and do as you will. Love God with all
your mind, heart, and soul and love your neighbor
as yourself. Love others as I have loved you. From
Deuteronomy to the Gospels, the Epistles to St. Au-
gustine, our faith is clear, we need to love as we have
been loved. How have we been loved? What compels
us to love? Why is it that the human beings who have
loved more than any other, like St. Francis and Moth-
er Teresa have all been Catholic? The simple answer
is the Eucharist and what it does for us.
The Eucharist shows us that we are loved,
what that means, and allows us to participate in the
very nature of Love Himself. The Mass is the class-
room in which Truth Himself teaches us what it is to
be loved by the profound testimony of Love Himself
proclaiming that we are His beloved by His total and
FRPSOHWH�FRQGHVFHQVLRQ�QRW�MXVW�LQWR�KXPDQ�ÀHVK�but as bread. He does this so that He might give
+LPVHOI�HQWLUHO\�WR�XV�WKURXJK�WKH�3DVFKDO�P\VWHU\��inviting us to participate in the deepest recesses and
self-givings of Trinitarian love. As the Son totally
DQG�FRPSOHWHO\�RIIHUV�+LPVHOI�DV�D�VDFUL¿FH�LQ�REH-dience to the Father out of love for us and the Holy
Spirit pours out from His pierced side so that we may
enter into the most intimate moment of self-giving,
VHOI�VDFUL¿FH��DQG�UHFHSWLRQ�EHWZHHQ�WKH�SHUVRQV�RI�the Trinity. He does this so that He might live in us
and we might live in Him through partaking in the
Divine Nature that is love. The total self-giving of
the Father to the Son and His return to the Father
and Their Love who is the Holy Spirit is what we
partake of at every Mass. Not only do we partake of
this nature but we are invited into the mystery! We
are able to participate at table! We are allowed to be
sons in the Son and have a Father, to be members of
the family in the most intimate way! This is what I
see every time I see the classic Icon of the Visitors to
$EUDKDP��7KH�3HUVRQV�RI�WKH�7ULQLW\�JD]LQJ�LQWR�HDFK�others eyes and an empty spot at the table for you,
the viewer. They are waiting for us to surrender more
and more and participate more and more so that we
might be more and more involved in their life, which
is a life of love. The same Divine nature that resides
LQ�XV�WKURXJK�%DSWLVP�DQG�VHQGV�XV�RXW�ZLWK�&RQ¿U-mation is renewed and increased at the Eucharistic
table, the wedding feast of our souls to their bride-
groom. He professes to us that we are the mystery
that Truth seeks and the beloved of Love Himself,
that we are the children of the Father, and that we
share in the Holy Spirit that sustains all creation.
This total and complete giving of Himself to
XV�DW�]HUR�EHQH¿W�WR�+LPVHOI�DQG�RQO\�EHQH¿W�WR�XV�LV�what it means to be loved; it is total and complete self
VDFUL¿FH��7KLV�LV�ZKDW�ZH�DUH�WDXJKW�WKDW�ORYH�LV�E\�WKH�Gospel, and this reality is made manifest to us at
7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
the Mass. We are commanded by the lover of our
souls to love others as He has loved us. To obey this
commandment we must follow another by following
Him by living the cross. The Christian’s way of life
is the horizontal and vertical beams of the cross. Our
life should not merely be one of a vertical relationship
with God, it must include a horizontal relationship
with our fellow man. Indeed if we are “actively and
consciously participating in the Mass” and are not
loving our neighbor then we are not really participat-
ing at the Mass. If we are loving our neighbor without
actively participating at the Mass then we are not truly
loving our neighbor. If we are feeding the hungry and
not offering them the bread of life, then we are not
feeding the hungry. If we are giving drink to the thirsty
and not offering them the endless fountain of living
water, then we are not giving drink to the thirsty. If
we are giving shelter to the homeless and we are not
offering them the refuge of the Lord, then we are
not giving shelter to the homeless. If we have a very
strong relationship with the Trinity and do not share
this love with others or if we are extremely charitable
with others and do not have a strong and solid rela-
tionship with the Trinity, then we are living a lie.
“The Christian’s way of life is the horizontal and vertical beams of the cross.”
The Mass is the “and” between Love God and
Neighbor. Christian love and life must be the cross.
There must be the vertical dimension of adoration, de-
votion, and care for the Lord and a horizontal dimen-
sion of a deep spirit of charitable service to His peo-
ple, the poor and the marginalized. It is how He loved
us and we are commanded to love others in the same
fashion. Without a devotion to the Eucharist and the
other sacraments we cannot love as we should because
we cannot know how to love. Through the sacraments
we partake in the Divine Nature and the Holy Spirit
lives within us through our response to the profession
of love displayed to us at the Mass. If we are properly
disposed to the grace, it will compel us to move to-
ZDUG�DFWV�RI�VHOI�VDFUL¿FH�IRU�RXU�IHOORZ�PDQ�DV�ZH�DUH�more deeply conformed to the Trinity by Him living
within us and us living within HIm. Our response to
His love for us will mimic His love and will lead us to
JLYH�RXUVHOYHV�VHOI�VDFUL¿FLDOO\�WR�RWKHUV�DV�LV�SURSHU�to our vocation and our state in life.
The greatest moment of love that has ever
RFFXUUHG�WKURXJKRXW�DOO�RI�WLPH�LV�WKH�VHOI�VDFUL¿FH�RI�Jesus Christ on the cross so that we might know we
are loved, have life, live it abundantly, and be children
of God. We have the opportunity to witness and partic-
ipate in that moment at every Mass. Through the ex-
ample of love that we see at Mass we are taught how
to love others. Through love living inside of us we are
compelled to love others by taking up our cross daily
and living as Life Himself lives. We do this so that we
might live inside love. Let us live the truth that we are
the children of God by living our lives following His
example set before us by the Mass. Let us strive to live
the Mass at every moment and with every person that
ZH�PHHW�VR�WKDW�ZH�PLJKW�VHW�WKH�ZRUOG�RQ�¿UH�ZLWK�His all consuming love.
Eucharistic Lord who are all good, all loving,
DQG�DOO�GHVHUYLQJ�RI�DOO�RI�RXU�ORYH��3URYLGH�IRU�XV�WKH�grace to know and to see more clearly every moment
WKH�LQ¿QLWH�ORYH�<RX�KDYH�IRU�ZH�ZKR�DUH�\RXU�FKLO-GUHQ�DQG�WR�EH�FRQVXPHG�E\�WKH�ÀDPHV�RI�ORYH�ZLWK�which your Sacred Heart burns. Virgin most pure, put
in us the desire to respond to this love as your did,
fully and completely every moment of your existence.
$OORZ�RXU�KHDUWV�WR�EOD]H�ZLWK�WKH�¿UHV�RI�ORYH�WKDW�surround your Immaculate heart for love of God and
neighbor so that we may more properly live the Mass
in our daily lives.
Look Up
When all you want is nothing more than a peaceful breath, when all you need is something more than that tearful sweat.With a simple smile, life is all yours to change. in a simple way you can make a name.As the leaves change and summer turns to fall, will the reality of life slowly seep through the wall.Your heart feels the longing, your soul hears the crying; of the pure angelic voice you keep denying.You know He is Love, yet sometimes you doubt; leaving yourself to wonder what Love is about.
When all you want is nothing more than a peaceful breath, when all you need is something more than a fearful fret.With a simple smile, Love is yours to change. in a simple way you can learn a name.As the leaves die and the winter takes the fall, will the reality of love slowly seep through your wall.Your heart feels to rejoice, your soul hears the voice; of the one He meant for you for even before the choice.You know He is Love and that he Loves you, yet sometimes you wonder why you never saw truth.
When all you want is nothing more than a peaceful breath, when all you need is something more than your next step.With a simple smile, Love is yours at last. in a simple way you both can grow so fast.As the leaves begin to bud, and the winter melts into spring, the pureness of this newfound Love presses you to sing.Your heart feels the totality of complete, your soul hears the beat; of the prayer He will speak.You know He is Love, and you no longer doubt; there is always more to what Love is about.
When all you want is nothing more than a peaceful breath, when all you need is something more than clarifying depth.Don’t be afraid to just look up.
-Elizabeth Collins7KH�*DGÁ\���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������
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