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DISCLAIMER

The jokes collecTed in This e-book are conTribuTed by people all around The world. we are claiming no copyrighT on mosT of The individual jokes found in This e-book. mosT of Them are, To The besT of our knowledge, in The public domain. iT is possible ThaT some of The jokes wiThin The collecTion are acTually copyrighTed. if There is any unfair misuse of copyrighT in This e-book, iT was noT willful. conTacT supporT@TinTumon.com and we will remove iT.

This collecTion is copyrighT © 2009 by TinTumon.com. all righTs reserved. we are noT claiming This for The jokes on This book. we are claiming an “ediTor’s” or “collecTion” copyrighT.

1Tintumon in Bus

Busil vadi kuthi nilkunna oru vayassan seatil irukkunna tintumonod “mon enne onnu sahayikkanam”

tintu: ”aa vadiyingu thannekoo,njan pidicholam”

2Dr.Tintumon

“MBBS” passaya Tintumon adhyamaayi operation cheyyan thudangumbol daivathod prarthichu:

“Joly kittiyathinte 1st gift itha njan angot ayakkunnu.sweekarikkane.”

3Frank Tintu

Teacher: Now tintumon, Tell me frankly. Do you say prayers before eating?

Tintumon: No sir, My mom is a good cook!!

4Chemistry genius

Tintumon : Eureka , I have found out the chemical TOILET

Calcium Cupric Sulphide…

To be precise , CaCuS ….

5Vazhipad

Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..

Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.

Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!

6

Pranayam

“Nashtappedam pakshe pranayikkathirikkaruth”-kamala surayya

“Pranayikkam pakshe thalayil aavaruth”-TINTU MON

7Tintu’s beach visit..

A man jumped into sea and never came out….

Nxt day, 2 men jumped into sea and never came out…

Tintumon after watching this concluded that:

MAN IS SOLUBLE IN WATER..!!

8Tintu’s Temple Visit

Tintumon: The youth nowaday is getting Worse!!

Friend: Y do u say that?

Tintu: I was in Temple, When a Guy next to me lit a Cigarette from the Aarathi. I was Shocked and almost dropped my Beer Bottle!!

9Strong Love

Tintumon to girlfriend:- “Theegolangal panju vannalum, Kodumkattu veeshi adichalum njan ninne swantham aakkum…..

Girlfriend:- naale varumo chetta?

Tintumon:- Nokkatte mazha illengil varam…

10Professor

A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”

tintumon: “JIMBALAKDI BAMBA”

professor: “i dont understand anything”

tintumon: “same 2 you”

11Sandwiches

One day tintumon went into a pub with his girlfriend Tintumol and after ordering two

drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the pub-owner.

So they exchanged their sandwiches…!!

12Similarity

Teacher: What is common between Gandhi, Budha, Krishna and Jesus…?

Tintumon: They were all born on public holidays

13New Boyfriend

Tintumon : My girl friend broke up with me and sent me pics of her with her new boy friend.

Appukuttan : Really bad.. what did u do??

Tintumon : I sent that pics to her dad :)

14SSLC

SSLC 10 vattam ezhuthi thotta Tintumon thante PEN, examination board nu ayachu koduthu.. Oppam oru kurippum:........“Aayudham vechu keezhadangunnu!” :D

15Group photo

Classinte Group photo eduthathinu sesham athu vangan kuttikale motivate cheyyunna teacher

Teacher: Ningal ellavarum valuthayikkazhinjal ningal ee photo nokki santhoshikkum. Appol mathrame ningalkithinte vila ariyoo..

Oral parayum.. ithu ramu.. ivan innu doctor aanu.. ithu kuttan… ivan ippol americayilanu…

Pinnilathe benchil ninnu Tintumon: Ithu teacher.. Iyal thattippoyi.

16Sangathi

Achan:Ethenthaadaa nee 5 kilo ulli vangikkondu vannathu?

Tintumon:Njaan naale pattu paadaan pokuvallai?

Achan:Athinenthinaada ulli?

Tintumon:Achan kettittillai Star Singeril sangathi ulleennu varanam eenu paranjathu..

17Water

Teacher:What is the formula of water?

Tintumon:H2MgClNaClHNO3CaCO3Ca(OH)2SnTnHg NiHCl(COOH)O

Teacher:What is this?

Tintumon: This is Corporation Water!

18Techy Tintumon

Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..

Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!

19Mother!

Father to Tintumon: Why can you not think every woman as your mother?

Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?

20Petrol

Friend: Entha ithra vegathil angottum ingottum odunnath?

Tintumon: Brandiyanennu karuthi nhan petrol eduthukudichu. Athu oditheerkkukayanu!

21Goa

Teacher:Tintumon,Where is your native place?TintuMon: checkoslovakia.Teacher:Tell me the spelling…

(kure neram alochichathinu sesham tintumon)

Tintumon:Patticheeee…….!!!!!!my native place is GOA..

22Theater

Chicken Biriyani kazhichittu cinema kaanaan poya Tintumon veetil madangi vannu.

Tintumon : “Ini orikalum cinema kanan chicken thinnittu kerilla”

Didumol : “Enthu patti ?”

Tintumon : “Vayattilulla kozhi vare koovi …”

23Tintumon as god

Tintumon: appurathe veettukar enne daivamayitta kanunne.

Amma: athu ninakkengane manassilayi?

Tintumon: Njan avarude veetilekk chennappol avaru parayukaya……

“DAIVAME, NEE PINNEYUM VANNO…!!!”

24Stupid

Tintumon went to his Dad’s Friend’s home late night.

Uncle offered him to Sleep in Baby’s room.

Tintumon refused because the Baby might Cry at Night and went to sleep in the drawing hall.

Next morning he saw a Beautiful young Girl at the breakfast table,

Tintumon : Who are you?

The girl replied,”I am Baby and You??”

Tintumon : I am a Stupid!!! :p

25Dosa

Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated

Tintumon: Dosa

26Tintumonoda kali

To be is to do(Socrates)

To do is to be(Plato)

To be or not to be(Shakespeare)

Aaha angane vittal pattuo..Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..

27Sign Board

Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.

He wrote“Drive carefully! Don’t kill the students, wait for the teachers”

28Exam

Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa….

Kurach divasam kazhinju…..

Achan: Enthayeda result???

Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!

29Sleep with dad

Tintu: Im sleep with dad last night

Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night..tintu: appo njan urangikazhinjayirikkum teacher vannath alle..?

30Achante upadesham

Achan: Daivam thamburan Molinnu vilichal nammalellavarum ponam tintumone….

Tintumon: Daivam thamburan molinnu vilichal moli mathram poya pore acho…??

31Mandan

Teacher: “Eee classil mandanmar undenkil ezhunnettu nilku”

Aarum ezhunnettilla. 10 second kazhinjappol Tintumon ezhunnettu.

Teacher: “Oho… Ne mandanano ?”

Tintumon: “Teacher ottakku nilkunnathu kandappol sankadam thonni”

32Motta

Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4 jeevikalude peru parayu?

Tintumon jumped and said:“Physics missEnglish missMaths missSocial miss!!”

33Tintumon’s Diary

14-11-2009: Nhan avalod oru poo chodichu.

Aval oru poochedi thannu.

15-11-2009: Avalod oru page chodichu.

Aval oru book thannu.

16-11-2009: Avalod oru umma chodichu.

Umma mathramalla…….

uppayum angalamarum koodi nallonam thannu……

34Chandranil vellamundu

Vartha..” Chandranil vellamundu-ISRO”

TINTUMON: pedikkenda, athu pandu NEIL ARMSTRONG kulichappo oorivacha mundaayirikum…edukkan marannu kanum!!!

35Cigarette

Achante munpil ninnu cigaratte valikunna tintumonodu achan.

“Enthada ithu ? Achante munpil ninnano cigarette valikunnathu ? ”

Tintumonte cool marupadi – “Achanalle … petrol pump onnum allallo ! “

36Tintumon in classroom

Classil urangunna tintumonodTeacher: uushmav alakkunna upakaranam etha?

Tintumon: Chatukam

Teacher: nhan entha chodichath?

Tintumon: uppumav ilakkunna upakaranamalle teacher….

37Puli

Tintumon went to forest with his friend ,

pettenne oru puli munnil chaaady.!!

friend puliyude kannil mannu variyittu.

Friend: oodikko??

Tintumon: njan ethina odunne nee alle mannu vaary ittathu..!!!

38Red Beautiful

Teacher: nigalude achande name englishil parayamo?

Tintumon: RED BEUTIFUL UNDERWEAR

Teacher: Appol,Entha Achande Sharikula name

Tintumon: SUDERLAL SHETTI

39PTA meeting

Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..

Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?

Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !

40Traffic sign board

Teacher : entha classil ethan vaikiyathu?

Tintumon: Traffic sign board kaaranam.

Teacher : Enthu sign board?

Tintumon : road side il ezuthi vachathu “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

41Indicator

caril pokunna achan tintumonod:”indicator kathunnundo?onnu nokku”

tintumon:”undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…undu…illa…”

42Medical shop

Tintumon in medical shopTintumon:- chetta! chumakulla oru marunnu tha.

Shopkeeper:- tonikkano?

Tintumon:- ‘Tony’kalla ente ammakkaa…

43Rajesh

Tintumon: a rajesh enne thalli,ini thaliyal njan shemichu enu varilla

Achan: nee mashodu paranjille?

Tintu: Hmmm…………avan thanneyanu ee rajesh!

44Revenge

Achan: eda tintuve…..nhan ninne vazhaku parayumbol ninaku feel aaville..appol nee ninte vishamom mattan enthu cheyum ?

Tintumon: njan veetile toilet nallapole vrithi aakum

Achan: athu kond ninte vishmom engane marana??

Tintumon: Nhan Toilet vrithi aakunath Achante toothbrush kond aanu!!!

45Good News

Tintumon : Achaa,Oru santhosha vaartha undu!

Achan : Entha ?

Tintumon : Achan Paranjille njan ee thavanthe exams enkilum pass aayaal enikku 1000 Rs tharaamennu !!!!

Achan : Uvvu !!!

Tintumon : Achante 1000 rs poyitilla….happy aayeelle…?

46Auto

Autoyil ninnirangiya tintumon:ethrayayi

Driver:100 roopatintu mon 50 roopa koduthu,appol choodaya driver:ivide vare sughich irunnallo ennit 50 roopayo

Tintu:thaanum ivide vare sughich irunnathalle,thante paisa enthina njan tharunnath

47Chemistry Class

Teacher : What is “Al2 O3 ?

Ramu : Alumina.

Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3 ?

Tintumon : “Filomina”

48Tintumonte Kalyanam

Tintumon: Njan ninte veetil poyirunnu,nammude kalyanam nadakkumennu thonnunnilla …

Tintumol :Endha, Achane kando ?

Tintumon: illa, ninte aniyathiye kandu.

49Tintumon and bus conductor

Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?

Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Chillara”, Is your father a Beggar ??

50Tintumonte Budhi

Vakkyathil Prayogikkuka

“Kriyathmagam”

Tintumon: Teacher classil Kriyathmagam enna vakkinte artham chodhichappol aarum onnum mindiyilla… !!!

Tintumonoda Kali…

www.tintumon.com