SqueakyCleanLegacy,16.3:RomanesIteDomumPartII

InPartOneofthischapter,wereturnedtotheRomansofPleasantview,largelybecauseFlaviusinsistedandhehasconnec=onsaroundhere.Ipromisedalargescaleweddingpalooza.Onward!

SinceCassiusgotbackfromcollege,he’sbeenrollingoddwants.Like“EarnaSkillPoint.”Iamsoproud.Healsoseemstohaveacquiredsomeofhisfather’scluelessness.Cassius:What’swiththedress,De?Specialoccasion?

De:Teehee!SimMe:OW,Cassius!IfyouPunchMethathardagainnext=me,youaregoingrightthroughthewall.

Marcus:Mom!Mom,look!

BunthorneGoodytwoshoes:Hello?

Marcus:IgotanA+!GrammahelpedmewithmyhomeworkandI’msmartandIgotanA+andIbroughthomeafriendfromschool!Hey,that’sapreVydress.Bunthorne:Yoohoo?

De:Oh,Marcus,Iamsoproud.Ihaveatreatforyou!We’reallgoingtoacommunitylottogether!Oh,dear...Yournewfriendcan’tcomealong.Marcus:Eh,he’llbeherewhenwegetback.

Andsoitis=metoshuffleofftotheShuffleOffWeddingPalazzo...

...Openedfortheoccasionbyitshardworkingproprietor.

Ikeepexperimen=ngwithweddingcommunitylots.It’sprobablyadeepcharacterflaw.AndIlikeoneswithglasswalls,thoughthiscanbeabittricky.Thecherrytrees,however,stay.

(NotethatthedancefloorhasgliVerballswithnovisiblemeansofsupport.)

TheShuffleOffalsosellsthoseglamorousweddingcakes,andtheownertendsbar.Soallitneeds...

...IsareallygoodDJ.Gilbert:AndIhope,voyez‐vous,thatitisnottedious,theplayingoverandoverofthe“Yahoo,itisacelebra=on”song.Cassidy:Heckno!

Ithinkhemeantthat.

AndsotheliVleRomanfamilypartyarrivesattheShuffleOff.

Impa=ent,De?De:Justmakeeverybodygetinhereandsitdown.Theguestlistismostlysimselves.Goodluckwiththat.

Foronething,OrikesandTer=usinsistondancingtogether,justasthoughtheycouldn’tdoitathome.Lousythreebolts.

Marina’stryingtositdown,butsomeoneisinherchair,andTinaisholdingupMarina’shusbandSabinus.YouknowsomethingiswrongwhenDontheZombieisthewell‐behavedone.

Andlet’snotevenmen=ontheidiotsoutatthedancefloor.Thereisaweddinggoingon!Doyoumind?***Roughlylectoright:SamaraUglacy,DocNerd,Dicreasy,Candi,EphemeralToast,Stacilee,CassidyastheDJandGilberttendingbar.

Oh,well,De,Iguesyou’regoingtohavetomakedowiththepeopleactuallythere.

NotthattheyaremuchbeVer.Di’sVictoriansseemtohavebecomealiVlebitclumped.Theo:Onlyyou’rejustabitinmylineofsight,Stanley.Idowishyouwouldsitdown.Eddie:Psst,it’snotthepub,Stanley,sit down.

Honestly,Itrytosetagoodexample.Flaviusevenmanagedtositdownnexttome.Idon’tknowwhatailstheseSims.

Marcus:IwisheveryonewouldseVledownsoMomandDadcouldgetmarried.

Augh,disgus=nglysappy.

Alldone,ANDStanleyevenfoundaseat!Thatwasn’ttoohard,nowwasit?

Marina:Youdidn’tshowthebigredringoverhishead.

Oh,CassiustookquitetheliVleAspira=onalhit,butitdoesn’tseemtohaveaffectedhim.

He’sprobablyfocusedonthecakeorsomething.

De:It’schooooocolate.

Oh,comeon,Cassius,noonewantstohearwhatyou’recongratula=ngyourfatherabout.Nothingtoseehere.

Inlawinappropriatenessisrifeatthiswedding.PurpleBunny,Idon’tthinkyoushouldbetellingyourmotherinlawadirtyjoke.PurpleBunny:Joke?Orikes:Shh,shh,Iwanttoknowwhatcomesnext.

ThereisalsomuchLegacySimandSimselfjollifica=ononthedancefloor.

Theo:            Don’t know much about dancin’, that’s why I gots this song,              One of my legs is shorter than the other and both of my feet’s too long;             Course now right along with ‘em, I got no natural rhythm:             But I go dancin’ every night, hopin’ I might get it right, cause I’m a            Dancin’ foool . . . .  (“Dancin’Fool,”FrankZappa)           

Doc,I’monlygoingtosaythisonemore=me;pickoneands=cktoit.Idon’twanttoletyouputastakeinpoorUlysses’fragileliVlevampiricheart.

There’snothinglikeagooddoorjam,isthere?Thisisactuallythelinetowashupplates.

Despitethis,agood=mewashadbyall,withtheolderSimselvesandRomanssoakinginthehotspring.

Hopeyoudon’tmindthechaos,De.

De:AweddingthrownbyCassbert?Areyoukidding?

DeandCassius:sappilysweetinareallyscarykindofway.

GageUglacy:So,wazzittake,huh?ImeanImean...whycomeIdon’tgetnothingandhegetsthatgirl.ImeanwhaevverhegotIgotatleasttwiceofitwhaevveritis.

Gilbert:Thisis,howdoyousayit,ahardtownfortheRomanceSims,M.Gage.

TitusreturnedhometotheofficialCaesar’sPalace,thoughhisfatherDomi=anpreferstodownplaythisandgoesby“Mr.Caesar.”TitusisactuallyPenelope,Ulysses,andAchilles’firstcousin,becauseDomi=anmarriedSophia’sindolentandpleasantlyvagueyoungersisterDiana.

Ah.ItlooksasthoughtheofficialMariuscon=ngentinvitedthemselvesover.

Ter=us:Youprobablydon’tremembermefromourfratdays,butI’maPleasureSim,too!Domi=an:Cool!Sorry,we’vebeenmeaningtogetthatbowlingalleyputin.You’llhavetocomebacklater.

Penguingirl:WethoughtthatifwestrolledbyastheWelcomeWagon,wecoulds=ckaroundforthewedding.Domi=an:Wedding?

Yes,Ithinkwe’llbehavingoneofthoseanymomentnow.

IthinkthisdressissoMeadow.

It’salovelysetup,buttherearealwaysSNAFUswhenIthrowweddings.

IwishI’ddoublecheckedontheformalwear.You’llseealotofladiesintheirweddingdresses,andIdon’tknowwhathappenedtoSophia’sformalwear.Shelooks...Flavius:Amazing.Well,yes.She’sSophia.

Algernon:Yourweddingdresslooksso...Penelope:SoWHAT,Algernon?MydresslookssoWHAT?Algernon:...Nice?Penelope:Oh.Well,that’sbeVer.

Onceagain,afairnumberofpeopleseemtobeunclearabouthowtositdown.

Penelopealsostubbornlyposi=onedherselfrightinfrontofthebridalcouple.

OritcouldbethatshewasenjoyinglookingathermotherandherauntDianasiingnexttoeachother.IknowIwas.(ThegentlemansiinginbackbetweenJackandAchillesisBrandonBroke,whohappenedtobestrollingby.)

Isn’tthispreVy?Allinall,itwasalovelyceremony,andIdon’tknowwhysomepeoplecouldn’tgetittogethertositdownordressupor...

Scratchthat.I’msuretheyallhadperfectlygoodreasons.

Onceagain,it’sTituswhogetstheAspira=onpointsformarryingMeadow,whilesheswoonsoverAchilles.Nevermind,shedidrollthewantforababy,atleast.

PenelopeseemstohaveforgivenAlgernonforno=cingthatshewass=llinherweddingdressandisexplainingallabouttheLegacyethos.

Orsomething.

ThisiswhyIdidnotallowAlgernonandPenelopetohangaroundtogetheralotincollege.

Waytogo,Ter=us,strollinfrontofthehappycouplerightduringthecake‐cuing.

Turningthecameraaroundisn’tmuchbeVer,asMeadowtenderlystabsherlovinghusbandintheeye.

TheblueofOrikes’WaterfordManorandtheweddingthemeandthepinkofMeadow’sdresshasacertainBarbiefeeltoit.

Flavius:WhentherearelotsofRomanshavinglotsofpar=esandgeinglotsofface=me,IfeellikeI’mdoingmyjob.

IthinksomepeoplearepuzzledaboutwhymySimselfkeepsmarryingFlavius.

Facialexpressionslikethis.Honestly,doesn’thelooklikeabigenthusias=cSpaniel?

LikesomanySims,mySimselfisuVerlyuninterestedintheceremony,butrightin=meforthecake.Youmustadmitthatit’sanicelookingcake,though.

IthinkPenguingirlchosetositwithTitusandMeadowbecauseTitusisNelsonPenguino’sgrandson.You’llno=cehe’sinheritedNelson’selfears,whicharefairlyunusualforaRoman.

DianaandDomi=anoriginallybondedovergames,andDomi=anpromisedthathewouldfilltheirhousewiththem.(HewassomewhatquietaboutbeingEmpress—Ithinkhe’sjustashappytoignorethatpart.)

Hekepthispromise,andseveraloftheweddingguestsgothungupontheGamerpinballmachine.FirstPurpleBunny‐‐‐

‐‐andthenCassiusandJack.

It’snotunusualformypartythrowerstobeinbedasleepbythe=metheirpartyends.MeadowandTitusdidn’tjustre=reforsomeWooHoo—theyreallywereexhausted.

Obviously,therewassomeWooHooinvolved,too.

Orikes:Ididn’tevenhaveachancetogohome.

Theremayalsohavebeenafew=mecheatsinvolved.

AndsoMeadowbecamethemotherofthenextCaesarboy,thoughthereissomethingaboutherexpressionthatcreepsmeout.Meadow:Mine!Allmine!

TheynamedhimVespasian,whowasofthesamedynastyasTitusandDomi=an.Inactualhistory,VespasianwasTitusandDomi=an’sfather,butthat’satadconfusing.Vespasianhashisdaddy’sbrownhairandhismother’sdarkblueeyes.Onceagain,owingtotherebuild,mySimsarehomozygous.There’sreallynohelpforit.S=ll,Ithinktheresultswouldn’thavebeenmuchdifferent,asTituswasbrown/blackandbrown/green.

Oncethebabywasborn,Meadowreallybeganac=nglikeaFamilySim.

Infact,TitusinsistedongivingVespasianaboVlebeforehewouldagehimup.Ifeltabitguiltyaboutthis.Itwasclearthattheywouldhavelikedtoenjoytheirbaby,butIreallyamworriedaboutmyLegacy’sstasisandbabyhoodissomethingIdon’treallymiss.

HasanyonegoVenarunoftuxedos?Alotofmykidsareagingupintuxedosthesedays.

Anyway,thisiswhatVespasianlookslikeaceraquicktriptothemirror.He’saclassicallyneatandmeanRoman:aTaurus,9/9/3/10/1.

Tituslosesno=meingeingtotheimportantbitofVespasian’seduca=on.

Titus:WhatdidDaddysayaboutwhatmakesaRomanRoman?

Vespasian:Plumbing.Titus:Goodboy!

Atanotherhouse,anotherweddingistakingplace.Tolookathim,youwouldscarcelyknowthatAlgernonisRomanatall.ThismayhavesomethingtodowithhisfatherEarnest’sKnowledgeSimunconcernwithoutwardappearances.OritmighthavesomethingtodowithrunningoutofRomanaireforboys.

TheweddingguestsaremostlyRoman,however.Algernon’sfatherEarnest,onceofmyfavoritegrandchildren,isfirst,nexttoTitusCaesar;FlaviusandIalsocame,ofcourse.TheotherredheadinbackisDaniellePleasant,whocrashedtheparty.

VictoriaGoodytwoshoeswasagoodfriendofthebrideincollege,andasaPopSim,shelovesagoodparty.Soofcourse,shehadtobethere.Andnaturally,CassiusandDewereinvited.You’llno=cethattheguestsareinalongline?That’sbecausewhilethishouse,designedbyBastDawn,isafabulouslyplayableone,thereisn’talotofroomforweddingpar=esoutside.

MadeleineandAlgernondidn’tseemtoworryaboutittoomuch.

AndneitherdidCassiusandDe,whohadotherthingstotalkabout.

Cassius:Psst!YouknowRhys?Cassius,doyoureallyhavetoaskifDeknowsRhys?

Cassius:Youknowwhohecan’tstand?

De:No,who,who?

Cassius:SpiderJerusalem!De:KKkkt!Noway!Cassius:Way!I’mafraidRhysandSpiderJerusalemdidgetintoaregreVableearlysmackdown,attheLegacyhouse,noless.

Everyonemanagedtomakeitinsideforthecake.You’llno=cethatCassidy,Algernon’sadoptedbrother,invitedGilberttobehisplusone.

Somepeopledon’tknowwhentogohomefromawedding.

Somepeopledon’tknowhowtobehaveatall.

Cassidy:Algernon really seems happy.  Huh.

Cassidy:Gilbert,Iknowyoureallyaren’tthemarryingkindandIdidn’tthinkIwasgoingtobe,butIreallydoloveyouandIdon’twanttobedroppedbytheMatchmakerand...

Cassidy:AndeventhoughtheguyinthehottubismakingmealiVlenervous—

Flavius:Oh,don’tmindme.Ienjoyeavesdroppingonareallygoodproposal.

Cassidy:‐‐Ireallywishyou’d,like,getengagedtomeanywayandI,um,boughtyousomething.

Cassidy:Ithoughtitlookednice.It’sapresent.Youcankeepit,evenifyoudon’twantto.

Gilbert:Cassidy,IdonotkeeptheringwithoutIalsokeepyou,cheri.

OK,soGilberttooka=nyliVleAspira=onalhit.ButCassidywashappierthanGilbertwasunhappy,andIneversawanymeltdowns.

Gilbert:Well,yes,itisthe“mee=ngsomeonenew”we‘aveincommon,n’est‐cepas,M.Marius?

MadeleinehadherandAlgernon’sbabyboy,Worthing,shortlyacerwards.

AlgernonisactuallyalsoMarina’sgrandson—MarinamarriedSabinus,andtheirdaughterPoppaeamarriedEarnest,andtheyhadAlgernon.Iknowshewillbepleasedtohaveared‐headedgreat‐grandbaby.Worthingisactuallymygreat‐greatgrandsononononesideandmygreat‐great‐greatgrandsonontheotherside.Romansmarrytheirownrela=ves:that’sallIhavetosayaboutthat.

Otherthan“isn’thecute?”

D’aw.

Fortherecord,Worthingisalsosuper‐Nice:anAquarius,4/1/6/8/10.

Cassidyfeltthatthehousewasgeingkindoffull,andsoGilbertaskedhimtomovein.Andthen,unbelievably,therewasyetanotherwedding.

FullofmisbehavingRomansandSimselves.

Marina:Ihavesomeredheadedgreat‐grandbabies,trala...

Cassius,thisisn’tthesameoldthingaboutRhysandSpiderJerusalem,isit?

Flavius:Kkt,that’shilarious...Whyisithilarious,again?

SpiderJerusalem:Don’taskme.Idon’tthinkit’sfunnyatall.

DocNerd:Meeither.

SpiderJerusalem:AndthisoldbroadhasaboutfiveminutestogetoffofmylapbeforeIgetseriouslyannoyed.

GilbertandCassidyactuallyhadtoholduptheceremony...

Becausesomepeoplewouldnotsitdown.

PurpleBunny:My,you’vegrownsincemywedding,Cassius.

IgaveuponDeniseacerawhileandjustmovedherwithMoveObjectsOn.

Andsomepeoples=llwouldnotsitdown.

Cassius:AndhebeatupSpiderJerusalem!Doyoubelievethat?De:Teehee!It’sjustashilariousthetwen=eth=me!

Flavius:You’llhavetoexcusehim.Hewasbroughtupinabarn.Webroughthimup,Flavius.Flavius:You’llhavetoexcusehim.He’saspecialsnowflakeanditisinnowayourfault.

Well,noone’sgoingtoruinthispartoftheceremony,right?

De:I’mborednow.IthinkI’llwalkrightinfrontofthearch.

Notthatourboysno=ceorcare.

Cassidy:Wereallyshouldgetsomegirl‐girlandboy‐boycaketoppersintheshop,don’tyouthink?

Gilbert:Nowthis,itisagenoise.Youknowthegenoise?Esponge,andabuVercreamwithItaliansilkmeringue.Cassidy:Mphm.Noshoptalk.

SpiderJerusalem:Ah,Idon’tcareaboutthegossipaslongasthere’skickybag.

AndDoc,you’vejustmadeFlaviusveryhappybybeingsomeoneNewforhimtoMeet.

Cassidy:Hasyourmothersaidanythingaboutgrandchildren?

Gilbert:No.Itisprobablethatshewouldwishforgrandchildren,butsheknowsitisathingimpossible.

Cassidy:Well,maybenot.Imean,Iwasadopted.IwastakenawaybytheSocialWorker,soIdon’trememberanything,butIhearmyfatherwasanastypieceofwork.AndDadadoptedmeandgavemeachance.Maybethere’sakidouttherewho’sbeenbadlytreated—maybehedeservesagoodeduca=onandsomelove,too.

Gilbert:Itisathingtothinkof.

Cassidy:Well,wedon’thavetothinkaboutitrightnow.

Holdit.Ithoughtyousaidyouweren’tgoingtothinkofitnow.Cassidy:It’slater,isn’tit?I’msureGilbertwon’tmind.

Andthusthewaitbegins.Ittakesaboutadayandahalfforanadoptedchildtoshowup,andit’simportantthatheorshearriveonaweekend,unlessyouwanttofacegradetroubleandtheSocialWorkershowingupagain.Sowehavesome=metokill.

Stanley:Didyoujustmovein?

Cassidy:Yes,IjustmovedinwithGilbert.We’rewai=ngforachildtoarrive.Ihopeyoudon’tfindthatodd.

Stanley:Huh,well,ifyouknewmyfamilyarrangements,you’dknowwhyIdon’tfindthatoddatall.Idon’tevenlivewithmyliVlegirl,butIseeherallthe=me,andeveryoneseemstobehappythatway.

Stanley’snottheonlyonetopassby.

Gilbert:Mlle...Didyousay“Kiko”Tellerman?

Gilbert:AndperhapsIoughttoknowyou,Mlle.?

Dicreasy:IbelieveyouhaveoneofmySimsonthepremises.

Dicreasy:CanItellyouhowmuchIadmireyou,Stanley?

Stanley:No.

Atlastthenewadoptedboyarrives.

Boy:Mr.Jacquet?Theladysentme.Shesaidyouwantedaboy.MynameisZane.

Gilbert:I...amnotrememberingthis.Andhowdoesthiscometobe?

Zane:Well,IwasstayingwiththisveryniceladynamedDonna,andwereadtogetheronthecouch,andIneverwenttoschool,andIwasn’t=redofea=ngpopcornyet.

Zane:Andthenthisotherladycametogetme.

Zane:AmIreallysupposedtobesomeone’sboy?CanIcomebackandstaywiththenicelady?

SocialWorker:No,youmaynot.

Don’tworry,Zane.DonnaLotharioisquitefondofboys.You’rejustabitoutofheragerange,butI’msureoneofthemwillkeephercompany.

Zane:Sotheotherladybroughtmehere.ButIguessitwasallamistake,andIdon’twanttobeabother,so...

Idon’tthinkyou’llbeabother,Zane.

SocialWorker:Bye‐bye,boys!

Zanealsoquicklymakesfriendswithhisotherdaddy.

Zane:IknowImusthavehadamotherandafather.Ijustdon’trememberanythingaboutthem.AndsomenamelikeDe...Dev...Cassidy:Iknow.Idon’tremembermine,either,exceptforanamelikeVet‐something.‐‐It’sprobablybestnottotrytoremember,Zane.We’reyourfamilynow.Zane:But‐‐‐

Gilbert:Ithinkitwillnotdoanyharm,justthisonce.

Zane:Isthatcake?

‐‐Idon’tthinkIeverhadcakebefore.IknowIwouldhaverememberedcake.

Gilbert:Thereismorecake.TodayyouareaJacquet,yes?Andsobeginstheeduca=onofyourpalate.

Cassidy:Oh,God,don’ttalkcookingtothepoorkid,Gil,hejustgothere.

Zane:ButMr.Jacquet—Gilbert:Papa—Zane:Um...Papa.Idon’tunderstand.Ilikeeggs,butIdon’tunderstandwhythey’resoimportant.Youjustfrythem,right?

Gilbert:(sharpintakeofbreath)

Gilbert:Ah,enfant.Itisclearyouhavemuchtolearn.

ManythankstothewriterswhoseSimselvesandSimsI’veborrowed:DocNerd:VeFnari Dualegacy:Cassidy,SpiderJerusalem,andhersimself;

Marina/Smoothiequeen:Villainous Apocalypse,RhysFitzhughandhersimself;

PurpleBunny:PiraFcal Legacy,JackandEddieBuccaneerandhersimself;

Orikes:Pseudo Legacy,hersimself;

De/Fireflower314:Morgan Legacy,hersimself;Ben/Blite27:Ten Caesars,FlaviusandCassiusMarius;

Dicreasy:Victorian Legacy,EddieandStanleyLegacy,TheodoreHarrison,andhersimself;

Candi:Chili Catastrophe,Don,Samara,andGage,andhersimself;

Penguingirl,Penguino Legacy;EphemeralToast,RubyBlue,WriterTina,Stacilee,andothersimselves—AndspecialthankstoPeasant007,Devereaux Legacy,forallowingmetogiveZaneahappierlife.