Post on 28-May-2020
The Felt Sense AphrasethatyouwillhearusedoftenwhiletalkingaboutFocusingis“feltsense”.Whatdoesitmean?Agoodwaytobegintounderstandistoimagineanicebergfloatinginthesea.Youseethetipabovethesurfaceandyetyouareawarethat
thereisamuchlargerportionofitbeneaththesurface.Thepieceabovethesurfacerepresentsouremotions—feelings—
bodysensationsthatarereadilyavailabletousinourawareness.(e.g.throbbingheadache,clammypalms,poundingheart,lumpinthethroat,love,tendernessetc.)Inrealityourbodyknowsmoreaboutanissuethatwehaveinafeeling—oremotion—orsensationwayorcanthinkwithourminds.
Beneaththesurfaceofthewaterit’sanotherwholeworld,aplacewedon’tknowmuchabout.Dr.EugeneGendlincalledthisthe“felt-sense”.Yourbodyknowsthings—andyouknowitknowsthem,butyou’renotsureofthemoreofthestory.Forexampleyouwalkintoaroomandimmediatelygetanuncomfortablefeelinginyourgut—somethingisup!Thepeopleintheroomareactingasifeverythingisfineandwhenyouasktheytellyoutheyarefine.Perhapsyourwerewrong.Yetlateryoulearnthattherehadbeenanargumentandsomeonehadstormedoutofthehousejustbeforeyouarrived.Yourgutdidn’tlie.
YoumayaskwhywouldIwanttospendtimewiththesefeelings,especiallyifthefelt-senseseemsscary,sad,angry—oneofthefeelingsthatImayconsider“bad”feelings?Itisacommonconcernthatpayingattentiontoourfeelingswillmakethembiggerandmoreintenseandevengivesthempermissiontogooutofcontrol.Weevenusenegativephraseslike“don’twallowinyourfeelings”.Youwillfindthatjusttheoppositeisthecase.Yourfeelingsgetbiggerandmorepainfulwhentheyaren’tallowedtobe.Wearesuggestingthatitiswisetopayattentiontothewhispersofourbodyratherthanmakingitshoutforattention.Whenfeelingsareacknowledged,theybegintosettledownandtellyouaboutthemselves.Inthiscaringrelationshipofacknowledgingandrespectfullistening,thefeelingsbegintoshiftandchange.Thisissomethingthatneedstobeexperiencedtobebelievedandtrusted.Focusingallowsustobedowninourbodiesinawaythatletsthemtellthestorythat’shiddeninside—butalsoconnectsustothelargerworldofspirit.Theheartoffocusingistheawarenessthatmysourceoflifeiswithinme.. AnnMcGlone,1991
CaringFeelingPresence
TheCaringFeelingPresenceishowwedescribeanalternatewayofbeingwithhurtingplacesinsideourselves.Insteadofrunningfromortryingtocontrolthem,welookforabodyapproachthatisdifferentfrompushingthemaside.Thisisn’tamentaloperation,like“thinking”wewillbenicetothem.It’ssensingwhetherwecanfindabody-feelofopenness,understanding,respectfor,orgentlenesstowardfeelingsthatweroutinelyignoreorreject.
Oneofthehardestthingsisfindingapositivewaytobewithdifficultfeelingsinsideourselves.Mostofuswerenevertaughthowtodothisaschildren.So,weimitatedtheadultsarounduswhoroutinelyranawayfrom,numbed,orignoredtheirrealfeelings.Sometimes,ithelpstoplaceyourhandinacaringfashionwhereverinyourbodyyoufeelthepainofsomedifficultfeelings.Whatyouaredoingisre-establishingkinshipwithanalienated,forgotten,neglectedorrejectedpartofyourself.Thathurtisyou!Ithasastorytotell.Willyoutaketimetolisten?
Usewhateverapproachhelpsyoubealittlemoreopen,acceptingandfriendlytowardyourbody’scarryingofyourhurt.Perhapsjustsaying“hello”toit.
Remembertoaskyourself:“IsitOKtobewiththis?”Nevertrytobulldozeyourwaythroughtosuchcloseness.Ifit’stooscary,backoff.Yourdefensesarethereforareason.Respectthem.Thenratherthantryingtobewiththeissuethatfrightensyou,beinsteadwiththefeelingofhowdifficultitiseventogetnearsuchpain.Canyoubealittlemoreopen,evengentlewithfeelingofyourresistancetoFocusing?Thefeelingofsuchresistanceisreal.Itisyou!Itisaplacetostartonyourjourneytowardchange.Focusingisfilledwithrespect.Inneverforcesyouintoinappropriateplaces.Thatiswhyitissoimportanttofindyourownapproachtoacaringpresencethatyourbodycanfeel.
FiveImportantLearnings
1. Mybodyknowsthingsaswellasmyhead. 2. How does my body try to tell me what it knows?
Through feelings, body-sensations, and things I know, but can’t put into words.
In Focusing we call these “FELT SENSES”. 3. My body has its own language through which it wants to talk to me. WheneverInoticefeelings,sensations,and“feltsenses”inmybody,thereisalwaysastorywaitingtobetold.
4. How do I let my body tell its stories? By learning a special way of caring for, holding, and listening
to my body’s own language. 5. This special way of owning my body is called FOCUSING. The BioSpiritual Questions: +What is between me and really feeling good and peaceful right now? +What in my body needs my loving, caring presence? +How do I carry this feeling in my body? What is that like? +What Feels like it wants my attention? +Is it OK to be with this? Might I be near it? +If “NO”, is it OK to be with the “NO”? + How does the whole thing feel in my body right now? +What does this feeling need? +What might it feel like in Resolution? +Is there “more to the story” here? +Is there more to this symbol or felt shift? (recycle)
The Body’s Role in Spiritual Transformation:
Rediscovering the Lost Body-Connection within Christian Spirituality
The starting point for any path to wholeness is our personal inner journey of growing into communion with ourselves. You are invited to experience a process of inner exploration into your own body’s wisdom called “BioSpiritual Focusing.” This spiritual practice offers opportunities to assist in developing a quality of listening presence—both within oneself and with another person. Learning this new way of listening to your body can facilitate spiritual growth, creativity, healthcare, decision making and stress reduction. “In developing this into a habit in your body, the hidden depths and breadth of God’s Presence can then break through in renewed and often surprising ways.” – Peter Campbell BSF Founder “I didn’t realize that all the sadness, fear and hurt that I carried within me was in need of my own listening and kindness. I learned that by being a friend to my most difficult feelings rather than pushing them down, was a pathway into profound healing and release. This journey led me to the place inside my body where God resides, the place of compassion in my heart. This journey led me home to myself.” -BioSpiritual Focusing Retreatant