Post on 06-Apr-2018
8/2/2019 STAY SICK fanzine issue 9
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forad
ult
sand
juven
ile
d
elinquen
ts
only
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Well,thingshavebeenquietintheStaySick
batcaveafterakillerdillershowlastmonthwith
KingSalami&theStompinRiffRaffs,tearingit
upatourbusiestStaySickever.AndaftergoingontourwiththeWildEvelTrashbonefrea
ktrain,
spinnin6Tsgaragetunesfortheeurotrashersin
Austria(morelater).
Wehavebeenplottingsomenewandexciting
stuffforallyoufreaksoutthere.Timestheyare
achangin,wearelookingtogetTheeOh-Sees
backthisyear,alongwithouroldcrampsfriend,
MrKidCongo.Wehavestartedapodcastfullof
screwballgarage,surfandrevveduprockabilly,
whichyoucanfindoniTunes&mixcloudunder
theStaySickRadioShow.Thebignewsisthat
STAYSICKisventuring,likesomanyfoolhardy
beforeup(orshouldthatbefools?),intothecut-throatworldoftherecordbusiness.Weareplan
ningto
releasea7VinylEP(inlimitededitionmidnight
black)ofourfavouriteunsignedbandsthatwe
haveputonoverthepast4years.
WealsomournthelossofEttaJames,the
originalR&Bwigger,JohnnyOtis(moreaboutthisguylateron)andMichaelDavis,the
bassist
ofinfluentiallate1960srockband
MC5.
RestInPieces
ChrisSick&NeilSick
Welco me to t he Sinful wor ld o f S TA Y SICK ! ! !
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Its mid-February. Englandis freezing. So what better place to
go to than Austria? The week before
it was -9C there. Had we lost our
minds? Nah, that was years ago.
Stay Sick have been invited to the
land of Mozart, Schnapps and, er,
Red Bull (?), as tour Djs by Austrias
6ts primitive caveman punk craziesWild Evel and The Trashbones.
Were picked up at the airport, a tad
whiskeyd up and driven into snowy
Vienna, and Evels downtown cave.
You know how the next fve days aregonna go when youre introduced and
sat next to, a full keg of beer that hasbeen, ahem, acquired along with a
chilled draught system
for your drinking pleasure. Oh, AND
to a guy who used to play sax with
Screamin Lord Sutch! Kicks are
never far away if Evel and his gang
are involved.
T h e
frst show is at The Chelsea, in theheart of the sleazy go-go dancing
world of vice that is Viennas red light
area. A trashy, dark tunnel of inequity
beneath the arches of the rumbling
under(over)ground. The place is
noisy, sweaty and the air thick with
the haze of smoke and stage lights.
Yep, cigarette smoke, at a venue.Remember that?
Im roped into compering somehow,
and before you know it, thrust
onstage.
First up, I introduce the beautiful
young burlesque performer, Bayou
Mystere, who teased, delighted andmesmerised a full house with her
performances to Link Wrays The
Rumble and Eddie Burams Riot in
Thunder Alley.
By Neil Sick
wildevelandthe
trashbonesaustriato
ur
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Next up,
the tours
supporting
a c t ,
Switzerlands femme fronted
garage-beat trio The Jackets.
Woah! Screw Toblerone, cuckoo
clocks and penknives for Swiss
exports, and who said they just siton the fence all neutral and all? The
Jackets do not. This was a Swiss
invasion!
Led by singer/guitarist Jackie
Torera, all white shades, hiding thick
eye linered doll-like hypnotic eyes,
Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction hair,
(and donning a monster handle bar
moustache!) the simplicity of their
matching b&w dress and collars
was as effective as their no messin,
pounding killer beaten up 6Ts fuzz
and beat.
Thankfully the crowd were
tolerant to my drunken ramblings
introducing the bands. Now the
headliners and our hosts took to
the stage. Wild Evel is a modern
day savage. Taking no time he
whips the crowd up with his
b-movie sci-f monster poses,
three fnger Farfsa stabbings andNeanderthal-teenpunk antics.
Backed by The Trashbones, AKA
king of fuzz Murphy Morphine,
the youthful Powl Howl on lead,
the sultry Miss Bloody Mary on
bass and the unmerciful caveman
clubbed skin hitting, Vikinghelmeted rhythms of Bernado,
their Keith Moon of a secret
weapon. This bone necklaced,
striped teenage-shutdown t-shirt
wearing band are as tight sonically
as they are trouser-ed. Not to
mention onstage guests from The
Jailbirds and the honking andgrowling of ex- Screaming Lord
Sutch sax man Buddy Grabner.
Still having his rock n roll cake
and eating it at 72!
They scream and holler through
tracks from Tales From The Cave,
launching their debut album,
for which this
rock n roll circus
of musicians,
burlesque and
disc jockeys was
assembled. High
lights have to be
the awesome teen
anthem, Lets Go
Right Now, the
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blistering Oh Yeah! and harmonica
laden, I Wanna Be Your Caveman.
Evel treats his red vintage Farfsawith as little respect as you dare
imagine. One second its falling intothe front row, the next its upside
down on his shoulder as he punches
chords. The fact this keyboard is
still alive after a song, let alone the
years its been in Evels possession
is a miracle.
It feels late as they depart leavingtrash(boned)equipment all over the
stage. However, in this part of the
world the night is still young and
we almost forget, we havent even
started playing records! Alongside
Stay Sick, there are three more dee-
jays ripping it up. Viennas own Phil
Vega$, Germanys fnest, Traxel,wax spinning heavyweight and
founder of SoundFlat Records,
plus DJ Lemon Squeezer, a self
confessed Cramps addict.
We spin, the bar plies us with rum,
the bar spins! The rider seemingly
never ends and the crowd doesnt
thin out. Stay Sick is in love with
Austria. I lean and shout in Chris
ear, Things just dont get much
better than this! followed forgetfully
by, Whats that? Oh fuck. yeah,
as he reminds me this is ONLY the
start and weve got two more
dates to go in Graz and Aenz!!!England maybe freezing but
Austria is on fre!
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Releasedin68, thesameyearas2001:aSpaceOdyssey. ThisvastlysuperiorB-moviewinsoverthebloatedKubrickfartfor5good
reasons:1. 90minutesvs139 minutes
2. Dialoguewrittenbytheco-creatorofthesixtiesBatmantvseries
3.ABondgirl DominofromThunderballwascast, notforheractingchopsbutforherabilityto
wearbaco-foildressesasherroleascosmic-nurse
4.AnAcidPsychGaragetheme.WritenbyCharlesFoxandlatercoveredbytheFuzztones,thisfuzz&fluteclassic rivals the BlobforbestB-movietune.
5. CheapmodelsspaceshipsthataremoreThunderbirdthan StarWars
6.Properaliensvsamonotonousstandbylight
FilmedinJapan withamostlyAmericancast(many oftheextraswereUSsoldie
rsfromYokataAirbase), thissci-fi base-under-siegehasmoreplot-holesthanplot.The story is-anasteroid isonacollisioncourseforEarth,likeintheBruisedWillisfilmArmegedeon.Ateamissentup todrillaholeinthemeteor, likeinthe filmArmegedeon,and putanuclear
chargeinandblowitup, like inthefilwellyougetthepicture.ButwherethisfilmsdiffersfromthebigA,isgreenslime wibblymidget
aliens(perhapsinthesequel,huhMrBruckheimer?).Theastro-heroesreturntoSpacestationGamma3, bringingbackgreenalienspunk. Itmutates
intoangryspacesquid,hungryforelectricitydadadaaaaahhh
TheresalovetrianglebetweenBondGirl, hernewBF:Vincethelugheaded stationcommander, andherex:Jackanarrogant,ginger-quiffedCuprinolsupermanwithapenchantforinappropriatethumbs-ups.
With dialoguesostiltedandactingsowoodeditmightaswellbe inthegardenfurnitureisleatB&Q.For example,BondGirlstaresatablackenedsmokingcorpse andannouncesherprofessionaldiagnosishesdead. Noshit!
Aridiculousplanofgettingridofthe
one-eyedocto-blobsinvolvingagiantMag-litegoeshorriblywrong(who-da-thunk-it?)soanepiczero-gravspacefirefightensues. EPICSTUFF!!!
B -M O V I E O F T H E M O N T HGreen Slime
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R.I.P. Johnny Otis28/12/21 17/01/12
Johnny Otis; bandleader,drummer, vibes-man, DJ, T.V.host, preacher: Otis is creditedas the Godfather of R&B, andnot without reason. Get this;
beside his own considerablecontributions to rock androll history, Johnny Otis isresponsible for turning upenough talent to keep anyreasonably sized record labelhappy for at least a decade, ortwo.Born in 1921 to a family of
Greek immigrants and growing up innorthern California, Otis soon decidedhe felt a closer connection to the localblack community than he did to his ownwhite neighbours. Learning the drumsand playing with local jazz bands led Otis
to put his own band together. By the timeWWII was over, Otis had a successful
outfit, playing blues inflected jazz andswing, with a band stripped down by thenew economic necessity a blueprint formany R&B bands to come.
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Otis struck gold in the late40s when he recruiteda 13 year old singer,Little Ester Phillips, tohis orchestra (the band
could also boast a certainWynonie Harris at the time).As a talent scout for labelssuch as Cincinnatis Kingrecords, Otis continued tomine a rich seam of talentover the coming decade,unearthing Jackie Wilson,Big Jay McNeely, Little
Richard, Little Willie Johnand Etta James (who was
neitherbignorlittle,apparently),
tonameafew.
In1951,Otis introducedalittlek
nownsingertoapairof
buddingsongwritersBigMam
aThornton,meet Leiber
andStoller.ThepairlikedBigMa
maand,decidingtowrite
a dittyfor her, penned Hound Dog in 15 minutes!The
recordingsessionwassettobep
roducedbyJohnnyOtis,
butthedrummerthatwasbooke
dwasnotuptoscratch.
Otissatinondrumsforwhatwas
tobecomeacornerstone
ofrockandroll,allowingLeiber&
Stollertheirfirstchance
behindthedesk.Historywasmad
e.
OtisbandscoredR&Bhitsthrou
ghoutthefiftiesandinto
theearlysixties,hisbiggestbeing
WillieandtheHandJive.
Hecontinuedtomakerecordsintothe70
s,whiledabbling
inlocalpoliticsandreligion,butitisforhisoutputfrom
the
mid-fortiestothelatefiftiesthat
werememberhimmost
fondly.Checkoutthew
onderfulmusicofthe
JohnnyOtisOrchestraontheDoxy
records
compilationTheJohnnyOtisSho
w.
RockonJohnny.
ShamblinSexton
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raquelwelch
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These
are notthe
officialviewsofStay Sick,justabitterlittlewhinger.
1.LUXURYFood: Asparagus expensiveandleavesyouwith abland
soapyflavourinyourmouthmmmm?
Oh, andthe finalstinginthetailis
pissthatsmellsofburntrubber,
howisthatpossible? Samegoes withexpensiveversionsofnormalveg,
theyareeithersmaller,likeshallots
orchantenaycarrots, oradifferent
colour likeblue potatoesandpurple
sproutingbroccoli guesswhat?
stilltastesofbroccoli.Chocolate
girlsgoloopyforit, apparentlyit
releasesthesame endorphinsasthe
onesafter sex. Illtake thelatter
everytimeover aCadburysfinger(nudge nudgewinkwink)
2.TheRollingStones Iknow. Itsbeenhangingover meall
mylife,timeto confess.TheStones
donothingforme.Theyrippedof
classic blues songsbadly (andIlove
theoriginalChessrecords)take
HowlinWolfsLittleRedRoosterfor
example, eventheirnameis ripped
offfromaMuddyWaterssong. Even
coveringtheBeatles IWannabe
yourManfortheirsecondsingle,
clearingupthatage oldBeatlesvs
Stonesdebate. Comparingthemis
likecomparingEinsteinwithanape
scratchinghisnuts. Anythingafter
BeggarsBanquet isabsolutetosh.They dontevenhavethedecencyto
die(exceptBrian, Iguess)
3.WillFerrellcomedygeniusorunfunnychancer,
renownforad libbingbarelyamusing,infantile,flaccid banter. Sticktothescript,jackass!4.Psych Ilovethe sixties:garage, beat,mod, frat butthat psychedelicLSD wish-washofsitar, reverb-drenchedgirlysingingand tripped outlyricsabouttheicecreamsuncrying cosmictearsintoabucketofpeace,justgrateson mewhichleadsmeto
5.PinkFloyddarksideofthemoonis6thformpoetry settoanover-workedsoundtrack,alltheearlystuffistweenonsenseandohsovery, veryBritish,whatwhat.NowonderSydwentmental. Itallleaves meuncomfortablenumb(apartfromLuciferSam, I will givethemthat)
6.Football Ineverhad ateamwhenI wasakidsowithoutsomeonetoback, itsjust aloadofoverpaidapesplayingasimplegameofluck.2-1, 1-0,0-0draw, eventhescoresareboring.Ifyou hangaroundmusicians(like Ido),conversationwillalwaysendupwithachataboutfootieandIend upfeeling aswelcome asaleperatapicnic.
10ThingsIJust
DontGet
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7. Twitter I have tried fora month now, and I have no ideawhat its for. An inferior versionof facebook, which is an inferiorversion of real life. People raveabout it but I just dont have thatmuch to say. It just highlights how
boring and self-obsessed people are.But if you are into it then find me at#staysickuk
8. 2001: a Space
Odyssey- living on a greasydiet of B-movie sci-fi trash may havetainted my views on this pretentious
swollen 3 hour snorefest. If RogerCorman had produced it he wouldhave sliced it down to 90mins andadded a cyber space squid attack.And Russ Meyer would have addedsome anti-grav boobage. You mightas well string up your Airfix models,and spend an evening watching themslowly spin whilst muttering Dave
under your breath. Its 2012 now, sowheres my spaceship, Mr Kubrick?
9. The Eighties- what the fuckhappened between Punks implosionand Grunges explosion? A wash ofdreary new romantic bullshit andthe colourful meaninglessness ofMTV, which was like being shot in
the face with a glitter gun. I nowknow it wasnt all bad, the birthof hip-hop, Joy Division, Gang ofFour, the Cramps (obviously), theViolent Femmes, Aussie Rockers RadioBirdman & The Saints, Psychobilly,the Garage revivalists like BillyChildish and Thee Milkshakes, TheMummies & The Fuzztones, The Gun
Club. And the awesome goth voodooblues of THE BIRTHDAY PARTY whichsingle-handedly makes up for all theMadonna, Michel Jackson, Fame, shitsynth & sparkle and pop music ofthat decade.
10.Champagne/Sparkling
Wine Irealisedat theripeoldage of25,that sparklingwine isthe
pissofthe Devil.Itis suchashow
offanddeliversnothing buta dry
(orshouldI sayBrut-al) aftertastesimilar tobleach,andthemost unfair
hangovers-to-drinks-drunkratio
knownto man.People(bywhichImean
girls)seeitasA BITOFFUN.When
did drinkingthisshit becomefun?
Becauseofthebubbles?Youmightas
welldownabottleofMatey.Youd
bebetteroffstickingaMarlborough
SauvignonBlancinaSodaStream
(othercrushinglymediocre80s
crazesare available). Istillhaveso
many friendswhowakeupthenext day,
sickintheirhairand aheadache like
arapist onredbullisskull-fucking
them, andnotblametheonethingthey
dontusuallydrink:
Ihad acouple ofbeers(asusual), 3
glassesofProsecco(cos itwasAnnas
birthday), andhalfabottleofwhitewine(asusual).SowhydoIfeelso
bad? CaseClosed!
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Th e sh a d o ws wer e clo s in g i n , a n d I co u l d se e t h r o u g h t h e
mis t , t he ir br u i sed, bl eeding bod ies . The ir f ea t u r es o oz ing
down t he ir f aces , s t a ined wit h a mix o f
con g eal ed bl oo d an d pus s . They inched
cl o s e r a n d cl o s er . Hu n d r ed s o f t h em, a n d
t hey meaned bus ines s , i f t he ir bus ines s
wa s t ea r in g f o l k s l i mb f r o m l i mb. I s wu n g
a p u n ch a t o n e a n d my h a n d j u s t p a s s ed
t h r o u g h h im, l i k e t e a t h r o u g h a vica r . I h a d
a f is t f u l l o ' g u t s , bu t I k ep t o n s win g i n g
an d t hey k ept 'a comin '. Cl awing a t I vy an d
me, h u n d r ed s o f bo n y f in g e r s s cr a t ch in g
a n d p u l l in g . On e g o t me r o u n d t h e n eck a n d
I h ea r d I vy s cr ea m. I wa s p in n ed t o t h e
g r o u nd an d j u s t a s o n e o f t h es e g o of ba l l s
wa s a bo u t t o bit e, t h e Ch u r ch bel l s s t a r t ed
r in g in g .
If you want to live,you must die!!!a punk noir periodical
episode 4:
Myn ame's Chris Sick,a man
who
whistl es his own tun es and
h er e's
th es ong s o far .I 'vebeen f
r amed
for th emur der ofa girl ca
ll ed
Ivy,a girl a s dang er ous a s
a tig er
with a h ang over ,anda s bea
utiful
a s a warmwhiskeyin wint er .I g o
t o a Speakea syt o cl ear my
h ea d
with a fewshot s ofrum.S o
me
g oon kn o cks meout andI
end
up wearin g a coffin .I g et b
u st ed
out ,andcr awl fr omth egr
ave,
andwh adya kn owit ! it 's Iv
ywith
th eshovel .But th er e'sn o timet o
fin dout h owa girl can g o
fr om
corp s et o a 60mph in onen
ight .
Wewer esurroundedbysh a
dows ,
andth eywer eg ettin g cl o s e
r ."th e
Endis comin g"Ivyex cl aime
d,I
ju st h opedshewa s wr ong e
r th an
midg et porn .Th at 's myst or
y,you
g ot a bett er on e!
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Thema s s es
r et r ea t ed,l ike
kids being ca l l ed
in fo r din er , g o ing
ba ckt o a g r a ve,
ea ch s t a r t edbur r owing with
their bl eeding
fing er s ,a nd
ba th ing deep in t o themud l ikes wines
in s ummer . I l o okedover t o I vywho
wa s s ca r edbu t a l ive.
"comeon , weg o t t a g et o u t t a her e"a ndI wa s n 't g onna a r g uewith tha t .
Ico u l ds eet h el ig h t s o fa t ruckin t h edis t a nce,coming s t ra ig h t fo ru s .Wit h a n appet is erl iket h a t ,Iwa s n 't g o ing t o wa it fo rt h ema in cou rs e.
S o wes t a rt edrunn ing awayfromt h echu rch .No t knowing wheret o g o weendedup in a dea dend,t h eh ig h churchya rd wa l l s bl o cking o u rp a t h .Thet rucks creechedt o a h a l t a nda do zen p ries t s j umpedou t ,t h eirfa ces
cover ed likeninj a s ,ninj a s
with s emi- aut omatics .
I
kn ewwhat wa s coming
,I
h a dpl ayedthis g ameb
ef or e.
With a dea dlysil en ce,t
h ey
a dvanced,If elt th ech
illin g
bl owof a crucifix t o t
h e
ba ckof myn eckan dI wa s
out col der th an a p enguin's
p ecker (I mean beakyo
u
bun ch o'p ervert s !) .
S O WHO ARE THE NI NJ AVI CARS ?
WHO'S CONTROLLI NG THE
ARMY OF UNDEAD?
WHAT WI LL HAP P EN TO
S I CK AND I VY?
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RoycePorteratTheBostonArmsRockabillyClub03/03/12
It'sSaturdaynightandthe15thAnniversaryPartyoftheBostonArmsRockabillyClubatTufnell
ParkLondon.UpstairsattheDomethevenueispackedfullofrockersfromfarandwide,anticipatinganightofwildmusicandthechancetoseerockabillylegendRoycePorter.GuestDJskickthenightoffasthe
placellsup,followedbytheRhythmRiverTriowhoplayagreatsettowarm
uptheexcitedcrowd.TheAudienceishushedascompereSteveStackO'WaxannouncesRoycePortertothestage,backedbyanallstarbandincludingmembersofCarlosandtheBandidos,legendaryguitaristDarrelHighamandImeldaMay!ThisrockabillystarfromSweetwaterTexasis72yearsoldbutbeltsouth
issongsincludingclassics'YesIDo','Lookin'and'AWomanCanMakeyouBlue'likeit's1956!HisvoicesoundsgreatandthebandcomplimenthimperfectlywithDarrelandImeldaalsotakingturnstoperformsongs.
Roycerecordedhis1stsingleagedjust17andearned$350anightforhisliveshowstravellingaroundinhis1949Ford.HehasplayedalongsideElvisPresley,metmostoftheearlySunrecordingartistsandhasbeenfriendswithDollyParton,WaylonJennings,WandaJackson,DeanBeardandJohnnyCashtonameafew.Hehasalsowritten13no.1singlesandproducedvariousrecordingsartists.AshissetdrawstoacloseresidentDJsDaveCrozierandCosmicKeithkeepthepartygoingplayinghotboppers,jiversandstro
llersonoriginal45s.ThedanceoorisbusyasMrPortersignsautographsandtalkstofansforwelloveranhour.Atruegentlemanandwellworthseeinglive. ThenightcomestoanendintheearlyhoursofSundaymorning,afantasticshowandgreatatmosphere.IfhereturnstotheUKdoIplanonseeinghimagain?..YesIDo!
Rockin'Ratman
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the bettie page
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