Post on 19-Jan-2016
Residential Life
Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor Training
Residential Life
Sidney Pacific, Hall Councilor
TrainingAugust 12, 2003
Residential Life
6 to 6:15 >> Dilbert
6:15 to 7:30 >> Councilor Training
7:30 to 8:15 >> Break & Practicum
8:15 to 9 >> Food and safety
9 >> SPEC wrap
Schedule
Residential Life
I. Pre-a n s inform int rv ntion
2. A ious inform and f rm l int rv ntion
III. St ing back
C nc l r Tr n ng
Residential Life
6 to 6:15 >> Dilbert
6:15 to 7:30 >> Councilor Training
7:30 to 8:15 >> Break & Practicum
8:15 to 9 >> Food and safety
9 >> SPEC wrap
Schedule
Residential Life
I. Pre-acrimonious informal intervention
II. Acrimonious informal and formal intervention
III. Stepping back
Councilor Training
Residential Life
1. Preparing never to have a problem
2. Listening
3. Facilitating conversation and solution
4. Keeping records
5. Confidentiality and privacy
I. Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention
Residential Life
Groundwork
Initial meetingexpectations, role
roommate styles (next slide)
early eventsaccessibility, impartiality
casual, broad appeal
examples?
Never Have a Problem
Residential Life
Get them to think about
it
Get them to talk about it
Open up a channel
Before anything happens
Before they come to you
StylesSchedules•morning•evening
Food•shopping•cookingCleaningGuestsShared space
Roommate Styles
Residential Life
1. Preparing never to have a problem
2. Listening
3. Facilitating conversation and solution
4. Keeping records
5. Confidentiality and privacy
Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention
Residential Life
What is the issue?are you sure?
how long has this been going on?
Talk to both parties yourselfit is easy to forget that there are usually two sides to the story
impartial
If they want to talk, let them talkoften this is all they want
Listening
Residential Life
Eye contact, Engaged
Questions, when necessary
Resist the urge to jump in yourself, with a solution or a similar experience
Be careful not to become “the only one I can talk to”
Always be ready to ask if you can ask for help
Listening, II
Residential Life
1. Preparing never to have a problem
2. Listening
3. Facilitating conversation and solution
4. Keeping records
5. Confidentiality and privacy
Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention
Residential Life
Have they talked to each other?amazing number of solutions start this way!
What role do they want you to play?ask
“help us to work it out” vs “work it out for us”
facilitator
Investment, ownership, collaboratefair, lasting
on compromise and collaboration
Conversation
Residential Life
Identify the problem, ground rules
Find a goal and agree on it, an objective
Organize and guide the conversationon topic, and one (topic) at a time
remember your goal
You are a semi-permeable barrierdirect heated comments through you
paraphrase possibly inflammatory remarks
on topic, and one (person) at a time
share the job if you can
Facilitation
Residential Life
Negotiating parties assume attitudes along these two (of many) vectors:
Interests and Positions
Interests:collaborative, cooperativeintegrative, mixed motiveproblem solving as opposed to “justice”, rights and power
Positions:competitive (or avoiding), assertive (or unassertive)
distributive
“justice”, rights and power rather than problem solving
Interests vs Positions
Adapted with thanks from Mary Rowe, Kelvin Chin, MIT Ombuds Office
Residential Life
Vectors of Resolution
avoid
compete
accommodate
compromise
collaborate
Adapted with thanks from Mary Rowe, Kelvin Chin, MIT Ombuds Office,and Kenneth Thomas, The Handbook of Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 1976.
I ssue
Relationship
ass e
rti ve
cooperative
Residential Life
Avoidingunassertive and uncooperative
neither issues nor interests are pursued
Accommodatingunassertive but cooperative
interests sacrificed for relationships
Competingassertive and uncooperative
interests pursued at others’ expense
5 Modes of Resolution
Residential Life
Compromisingbetween assertive and cooperative
partial solutions,
find common points of at least minimal satisfaction
Collaboratingboth assertive and cooperative
more robust and satisfactory solutions than compromised ones
aim for both parties to achieve goals
look together beyond issues and assumptions
Adapted with thanks from Mary Rowe, Kelvin Chin, MIT Ombuds Office,and Kenneth Thomas, The Handbook of Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 1976.
Residential Life
They have probably thought about the problem
They may have determined their‘Worst Possible Outcome’ (wpo)
‘Best Possible Outcome’ (bpo)
‘Acceptable Outcome’ (ao)
Help them to look for a collaborative solution (cs)
Towards Solution
Residential Life
Solution
Position A Position B
(ao)
possible solution
possible solution(cs)
(cs)
Residential Life
1. Preparing never to have a problem
2. Listening
3. Facilitating conversation and solution
4. Keeping records
5. Confidentiality and privacy
Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention
Residential Life
Importance:for you >> what works, what not-so-much
for others >> housemasters, medical, etc., legal
How? journal
dated, organized, stored
remember confidentiality (more on this next)
post yourself a letter
postmark dated, official record
safer confidentiality
Keeping Records
Residential Life
1. Preparing never to have a problem
2. Listening
3. Facilitating conversation and solution
4. Keeping records
5. Confidentiality and privacy
Pre-acrimonious Informal Intervention
Residential Life
Really “Confidentiality and Privacy”
What can you promise?You are morally (and probably legally) obliged to break whatever confidentially you promised if your student poses a reasonable risk of harming themselves or others, or is a risk to national security, or is a risk to damage property on a large scale
Best not to talk about “Confidentiality” at all, but instead...
Confidentiality: Trap
Residential Life
What should you promise?
Privacy
How about something like this:“I will do everything I can to protect your privacy, but I cannot promise you that - no matter what you tell me - I’ll never tell another soul. If you tell me something I am extremely uncomfortable with, or something I am not prepared to handle, then, after talking to you about it first, I may have to seek advice.”
Confidentiality: Should
Residential Life
ExamplesWhat kind of thing? Advice from whom?
What is privacy?
Your role >>> First step
Who else can help?
Other kinds of confidentiality?Medical, CSS
Police
Ombuds
Confidentiality: Help
Residential Life
I. Pre-acrimonious informal intervention
II. Acrimonious informal and formal intervention (another time)
III. Stepping back
Councilor Training
Residential Life
When and why?
How?
Where?
Preparation
Following up
III. Stepping Back
Residential Life
Anytime
Always remember: you are not a trained counselor and are not expected to be one
Good reasons to step back:uncomfortable, unqualified
not (or not perceived to be) impartial
legal issues in the wings
MIT is already involved
your own schedule is prohibitive
When and Why?
Residential Life
When and why?
How?
Where?
Preparation
Following up
Stepping Back
Residential Life
Ask permission of your student
Share with them your reasons (roughly)
Explain that you are not abandoning them, and will help them find the right person
importance of familiarity with MIT
follow up
Ask if you can accompany them
How?
Residential Life
When and why?
How?
Where?
Preparation
Following up
Stepping Back
Residential Life
MIT is resource rich (good and bad):Housemasters
Dean on Call
Night Line (def tuv tuv oper oper)
SLP
CSS
Medical
Ombuds office
Department
http://web.mit.edu/lifesites/
http://web.mit.edu/residence/tutor/resources.html
Where?
Residential Life
When and why?
How?
Where?
Preparation
Following up
Stepping Back
Residential Life
Always ask your student (see ‘How?’)
Notes? (see ‘Keeping Records’)
Talk to the Housemasters
Talk to SLP
representation?
Preparation
Residential Life
When and why?
How?
Where?
Preparation
Following up
Stepping Back
Residential Life
Probably difficultprivacy, confidentiality
Re-entry
Fairness and respect
Rumour control
Following Up
Residential Life