Post on 30-Jun-2015
Mistakes Mentors (and mentees) May
Make
Key PointsMentoring
The WhatThe WhyThe Mistakes
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A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.
Oprah Winfrey
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"Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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The What
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"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill
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The essential mentoring attributes
Set high standards; live your standards
Create and share a vision; make the hard choices when necessary;
Instill hope in those who follow.
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The Why
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Benefits to Mentors?
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Benefits to Mentees?
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The Mistakes
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1. Work with someone you don’t like or respect
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I think part of being a mentor is you have to have confidence in the people you're guiding and mentoring.Sidney Sheinberg
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2. Being negative and critical about your boss
and the Service
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Your observations and subsequent conclusions about others reveal more about yourself than those whom you observe.
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3. Break a confidence
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"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting and trusting again is sometimes impossible.
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4. Not holding yourself or your mentee
accountable
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What you allow is what will continue
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5. Not being balanced in your feedback – only being allpositive OR all negative
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It’s hard to stay positive when all you get is negative feedback
It’s hard to improve when all you get is positive feedback.
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6. Trying to create a “mini me”
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The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.Steven Spielberg
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7. Blur lines between personal and professional relationships
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“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” ― Brené Brown,
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8. Put all the responsibility on the Mentoree
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No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
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9. Focusing too much on the mentor's experience rather than on the mentoree's development.
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Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action. Daniel Goleman
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10. Faking your experience, expertise, knowledge
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“Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It'll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called "perfection," which will open the doors to the most important relationships you'll ever be a part of.”
Dan Pearce, Single Dad LaughingPitsel & Associates Ltd.
"No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself." -- Conrado I. Generoso
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"You can't push anyone up the ladder unless he is willing to climb himself." -– Andrew Carnegie
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