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Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work RelationshipsWork Relationships
Prepared ForPrepared ForMontana State University
November 3, 2010
Suzanne McCorkle Ph DSuzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.
What happens when conflictsWhat happens when conflicts are not managed well?
To the work group
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To the individual
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?
?
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?? ?
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Causes of Conflict
Emotions
StyleInformation
Relationships Values
Substance
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Ab t d t Information Conflicts
•About data
•Misinformation
•Having different information
•Which data to use
•Not having enough information
•Withholding informationWithholding information
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Emotion conflicts •About feelings, ego, self-esteem, feelings
of entitlement
•Arise when other conflicts get too ripe
L d t ti ll thi ki•Lead to exceptionally narrow thinking
•Emotions short-circuit the ability to reason and to listen
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V lValue
conflicts
•About deeply rooted beliefs and feelings
•Religion, politics, work ethicsReligion, politics, work ethics
•In some ways, easiest to manage in work context
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Relationship fli t
About who we are to each otherBoss/subordinate, working relationships
conflicts
Who has what authority?Are we friends?Can co-workers, students/professors have deep relationships?Do we have the same goals about ourDo we have the same goals about our relationship?
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About how to do things, how to communicate, which way to act is bestCommon with strong personalitiesFrequent cause of annoyancesCauses conflict when style difference is seen as obstruction
Style
conflictsconflicts
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•About real or perceived scarce resources
•Money, time, space, equipment ….
•Amenable to regular problem solving once the issue is isolated
Substance conflicts
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Common Style Differences•Meeting management style
•Single-taskers vs. multi-taskers
•Verbal conversational style•Verbal conversational style
Dialect
Rapport vs ReportRapport vs. Report
Pause Gap
•Personality styley y
•Conflict style
Escalators/Fractionators
General Conflict Style
•Cultural style
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1 Competitors 3 Collaborators
What’s Your Conflict Style?
1. Competitors 3. Collaborators
2. Compromisers
5. Avoiders 4. Accommodators
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What are the Problems withWhat are the Problems with Relying on One Style?
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What is the First Response toWhat is the First Response to Types of Conflict?
InformationEmotionEmotionSubstantiveV lValuesRelationship
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Smart Negotiation
Recognize the positive power of multiple perspectives and stylesp p yAlways start with interests
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In Stress or ConflictIn Stress or Conflict…..•People revert to their basic style.
•Make Self-Serving evaluations.
“I am thoughtful; you take all day
and can’t make a decision ”and can’t make a decision.”
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Recognizing Perception DifferencesRecognizing Perception Differences is a Skill
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Perception Differences Cause Misunderstandings: Make Negotiation HarderMisunderstandings: Make Negotiation Harder
Moral =
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Quick Quiz: What’s Your Decision-Making Preference?Making Preference?
Long Term Short Term
Fact Gut
By the Book Just Do It
Slow FastSlow Fast
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What’s Your Work Preference?What s Your Work Preference?Social Task-Oriented
Agenda Free-formAgenda Free form
A bl A t tiAgreeable Argumentative
Critical Creative
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What’s Your Cultural Style?
Loud Soft-spoken
Passionate Controlled
Confront Indirect
Say What You Think Concern for Other’s FeelingsSay What You Think Concern for Other s Feelings
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Go back and mark the style of your boss (or a co-worker). )
Are there style differences? IfAre there style differences? If unrecognized, do these differences make
negotiation harder?
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Quick Chat1 D h i ifi l1. Do you have a significant style
difference with a boss or co-worker?2. What can you do (mentally or in
discussion with the other) to preventthe style difference from hindering work happiness, productivity, or making negotiations more difficult?
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Smart Negotiation #2:Always Work From InterestsAlways Work From Interests
Positions and demands are on the Surface
Interests or needs lurk under the waterline
Working at the “position” level is inefficient and may
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harm relationships.
Conflict itself is normal.It is what we do during conflicts
that makes it beneficial orthat makes it beneficial or harmful.
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Positive Responses to DifficultyPositive Responses to DifficultyUnderstand what to do first in each type of conflict.Give up being the center of the universe.Don’t “help” others improve their personal style.Understand how unrecognized perception differences can make conflict and negotiations crazy
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For Further General Reading g
Personal Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (textbook)
Edition: 1stAuthors: McCorkle Suzanne;Authors: McCorkle, Suzanne; Reese, Melanie J.ISBN10: 0205499880ISBN13: 9780205499885Format: PaperbackPub. Date: 1/1/2010Publisher: Allyn & Bacon
Available at your personal favorite on-line book purchasing site
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book purchasing site.