Post on 25-Jan-2015
description
Love in the
Age of
By Eveline Todd
Photo by mkh marketing
Before Facebook and other social media,
dating meant asking for someone’s
phone number
and getting to
know each
other
in person
Photo by JD Hancock
Generally,
only close friends
and family
knew about a
couple’s
relationship
Photo by TheAlieness
Cutting off communication with an
ex-partner and his or her friends in real life
was enough to move on from an ended
relationship Photo by you are your atman
If the ended relationship was a marriage,
divorce lawyers often had to
do a large amount of sleuthing
and spying to uncover
evidence
of
misbehaviour
Photo by pasukaru76
However, now there is
Facebook.
Because Facebook has
reached the point of being
“pretty much real life,”
it has affected almost every stage of romantic relationships
Photo by Alessio85
Research has found that Facebook
can have both
positive
and
negative
effects
on
couples
Photo by Nanagyei
For example, exploring a potential
partner’s Facebook
profile can reveal
mutual likes and
interests, as well as
potential points of
disagreement,
and can help
remove
some
of the
uncertainty
in dating Photo by Red Flags
On the flip side, finding out everything about
a partner before actually getting to know them
In person takes away much of the intrigue and
mystery that contribute to the excitement of
a new relationship.
Photo by K. Sawyer Photography
Facebook offers
a new challenge: to become
or not to become Facebook Official Photo by sebastien.barre
Where once there was the exchange of
class rings, now there is the relationship
milestone of changing one’s
Facebook relationship
status
to
“in a relationship.” Photo by limetom
“Deciding to go FBO means laying your
emotional cards on the table, face up.”
– Tom Jacobs Photo by Ludie Cochrane
When both partners in a couple list themselves
as “in a relationship,” they are more likely
to still be together six months later, and may
experience greater relationship
intimacy
and
satisfaction
overall.
Photo by catlovers
However, Facebook can
also be detrimental
to relationships.
There is a great deal
of potentially
ambiguous information
available that can
lead to relationship
jealousy. Photo by Kikishua
The information available on
Facebook can also make breaking up
very difficult. Facebook makes monitoring an
ex-partner’s activities tempting
and easy, which research suggests
may slow emotional
recovery after a break up.
Photo by woodleywonderoworks
Even when one does not wish to
track their ex, it can be hard
to escape information about
them on social media.
“People have so
many online strings
that bind them that
cutting one does not
sever the relationship.
There are always more.”
– Liz Perle
Photo by mikemol
As well as affecting the
emotional side of a
breakup, Facebook
and other social
media may affect
the legal side
as well.
Photo by steakpinball
A survey released by the American Academy of
Matrimonial Lawyers in 2010 showed 81% of its
1,600 members has used
something from social
media to support a
divorce case in the
past five years.
Photo by nikc.org
“Facebook has become an open book of
people’s lives …
…..you can’t get better evidence than what
comes from their own mouths or their own
computers.” – Linda Lea M. Viken
Photo by Andalib
Viken’s comment on Facebook becoming an
open book of people’s lives rings true –
real life dating, relationships, and breakups
are initiated through, maintained via,
and affected by Facebook and other social media.
Photo by Reeding Lessons
It remains to be seen whether Facebook’s impact
on relationships will increase or decrease in the
future. Whatever the future link between Facebook
use and relationships, Allison McCann has
some words of advice:
“Don’t treat it any
differently than you
do dating
OUT THERE.
Be normal, be cool,
be nice.” Photo by Neal
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continued
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