Often,oneofthefirstwordscongregationsusetodescribethemselvesis“friendly”.However,theexperienceofseveral“SneakyVisitors”hasshownmanyofourcongregationstobelessfriendlythantheythink.

Beingfriendlyandwelcominggoesbeyondthelookthatacknowledgesanewface,andbeyondasmilefromacrosstheroom.Itevengoesbeyondthegreeterswhowelcomepeopleatthedoor,andbeyondtheusherswhohandoutbulletins.FriendlinessismeasuredjustasmuchinthesmalltalkthathappensasworshipperswaittoexitthesanctuaryorgatherforcoffeeintheFellowshipHall.

Itisperhapsthefaultofourstoicancestorsthatthevalueofsmalltalkandhowtodoithasnotbeenapriority.However,conversingwithpeoplewehaveonlyjustmetdoesrequiresomeintentionality,andyes,friendliness.

Belowarejustafewtipstogetyoustartedtalkingwiththevisitorinyourmidst:

~Goodmorning.Idon’tbelieveI’vemetyouyet.Mynameis….…Thisallowsthatthepersonyoudon’tknowmayhavevisitedbefore.Theymayevenbeamemberwhohasn’tbeentoworshipinawhile.Itisawayofgreetingwithoutmakinganyassumptionsoroffendingsomeonewhoconsidersthemselvesamember.

~Doyouliveinthiscommunity?Thisisalowriskquestionthatsimplyasksaboutpastresidences.Ifthey’velivedforeverinwhatevercommunityyou’rein,thenitgivesthemachancetotalkaboutit.Ifnot,thenitopensuptheconversationtomorequestionsaboutwheretheyhavelivedbeforeandwhatbroughtthemtothiscommunity.

~Wehavecoffeeandtreatsnow,wouldyouliketohaveabitetoeat?Inotherwords,invitethemtocoffee,andsitwiththem.Ifcoffeefellowshipisbeforetheservice,invitethemtoarriveearlierthenexttimetheycome.

~Doyouhavefamilyinthearea?Whatbringsyouheretoday?Iloveyourscarf,wheredidyougetit?Thankyouforjoiningustoday,I’mgladyou’rehere.WouldyouliketoserveontheCouncil?(justkiddingJ).~Whatareyoulookingforinacongregation?

Thisisaquestionthatbringstheconversationtoadeeperlevel,andallowsthepersontoreflectmoremeaningfully.

Ifyouareagreeter,~Positionyourselftogreetpeopleastheycomeintothebuilding,andnotjustastheyenterthesanctuary.Especiallyifthereissomedistancebetweenthetwo.

~Say“Welcome”.“Haveyoubeenherebefore?”Ifnot,showthemwheretheycanhanguptheircoat.Letthemknowwherethenurseryis,therestrooms,thesanctuary.

Ifyouareanusher,~DoNOTsay,“Wherewereyoulastweek?”Itwillbeexperiencedasaccusation,notconcern.Rathersay,“Nicetoseeyouagain.Gladyou’rehere.”

~Ifnecessary,helppeoplefindaseat.Besuretheyhaveabulletin.Indicatewhereyouwillbeshouldtheyneedanything.Ifapersonshouldleavethesanctuary,makeyourselfavailable.Feelfreetoask,“CanIhelpyouwithanything?”

Ifyouarethepastor,

~Especiallyifyounoticeavisitor,pleasegiveverbalinstructionsastoyourcommunionwelcome.Ifyouofferanalcoholicalternative,makethisclear,evenifitiswritteninthebulletin.

~Considerofferinganon-alcoholicalternativetothewine,andprovidinggluten-freewafers.Moreandmore,peoplehaveveryrealdietaryrestrictionsandvalidaversionstowhathasbeenstandardwafers/breadandwine.

~PleasedoNOTmakevisitorsstandupandintroducethemselves,unlessyourcongregationisinatouristareawherepeoplemightexpecttobenoticedandcalledupontospeak.(suchasFirst,GrandMarais.JacobsvilleChapel.ShepherdoftheSeas).Foryouraverage,non-traveling,visitor,theydonotwishtobeputonthespotandforcedtospeaktothewholecongregation.

~Moreandmore,theunbaptizedadultwhoisonlybeginningtheirfaithjourneymaycometothetablesincethatiswhateveryotheradultinworshipisdoing.Considerwhatyouwilldointhatmoment.Beforethatmomentcomes,ifithasn’talready,considerastudyofTheUseoftheMeansofGracealongwithcongregationmemberstoclarifyyourresponsetoculturalshiftsthatbringsunbaptizedfaithseekingadultstoyourcommuniontable.

Othertipsforbeingawelcomingcongregation:

Pretendyouareavisitorenteringyourchurchforthefirsttime.

~Isthereadequateparking?Handicappedparking?

~Isitclearwhichdooristhemaindoor?Whatdoyousmellwhenyoucomein?Isitmusty?Istheentrywaycluttered?Isthenarthexusedforstorage?Dothewallsneedpainting?Isitclean?

~Aretheresignspointingthewaytothesanctuary?Thenursery?Therestrooms?Thecoatroom?

~Aretherebusybagsforchildren?Isitclearwhatagesarewelcomeinthenursery?

~Iseverythingthatyouexpectthecongregationtosayduringworshipeitherprintedinthebulletin,clearlyreferredtointhehymnal,orprojectedonthescreen?(Forexample,whentheministersays,“ThewordoftheLord.”Is“thanksbetoGod”printedanywhere,isitisassumedthatthey’llknowit?Samefor“TheLordbewithyou.”Is“Andalsowithyou”printedanywhere?NoteveryoneknowstheLord’sPrayerorthecreedorthemelodiestothehymns.Please,ifpossible,printthemusicalnotesifyouarenotusingthehymnal.

~DoyouexpectthecongregationtosingthePsalm?Thenprintoutthemusicthatwillbeused,andinstructionsforwhoshouldsingwhatpart.

Somefollowupideas:~Sendacardtoyourvisitorexpressinghowgladyouwerethattheyjoinedyouforworshipandyourhopethattheyfounditmeaningful.

~Tryaphonecall,simplytouchingbase,askingiftheyhaveanyquestionsoranywaysthatthepastor/congregationcouldbeprayingforthem.

~SomechurchesevensendanotewithagiftcardforStarbuckscoffee.

Otherideas:~Yourtownortownshiphasarecordofwhoisnewintown.Dropthemanote,dropoffaWelcomebasket,sendapostcardthatwelcomesthemtotheneighborhoodandtoworshipatyourchurch.

~Buydoorknobhangersbeforesomeevent(RallySunday,VacationBibleSchool,anoutdoorworshipservice,HomecomingSunday)andplaceonneighborhooddoors.

~SendapostcardtoyourzipcodeandinvitefolkstoChristmas/Easterworship.

Resources:Evangelismbulletininsertsanddevotions:www.elca.org/dcm/evangelism

http://www.elca.org/en/Our-Work/Congregations-and-Synods/Faith-Practices/eTips?_ga=1.201481553.1555249452.1456331964

StudyfortheUseoftheMeansofGrace:http://download.elca.org/ELCA%20Resource%20Repository/The_Use_Of_The_Means_Of_Grace.pdf?_ga=1.25302781.1555249452.1456331964

http://download.elca.org/ELCA%20Resource%20Repository/The_Use_of_Means_of_Grace-Why_It_Matters.pdf?_ga=1.25302781.1555249452.1456331964