Transcript of How to work in Difficult times 2
- 1. How To Work In Difficult Times 2 Making Friends with Stress
Peter Gowers / Mark Wilson
- 2. The presenters Pete and Mark are IT managers with MBAs not
psychologists or HR professionals We have an interest in the
subject area and are just sharing what weve read or discovered from
professionals and experts This stuff works for us, but your mileage
may vary HR, Medical professionals and occupational health are
always available if needed Pete Mark
- 3. Key Themes Making friends with stress Understanding yourself
and others Working in even more difficult times Productivity and
performance
- 4. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4.
PHILOSOPHY Knowing yourself is the beginning of all Wisdom
- 5. Aristotle 4. PHILOSOPHY Knowing yourself is the beginning of
all Wisdom
- 6. Making Friends with Stress
- 7. WHAT IS STRESS ? Stress is caused by two things. Primarily
it is down to whether you think situations around you are worthy of
anxiety. And then it's down to how your body reacts to your thought
processes. This instinctive stress response to unexpected events is
known as 'fight or flight The Stress Response 1930s Dr. Hans Selye
Dr. Walter Cannon Flight or Fight Response
- 8. BBC Fight or Flight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnpQrMqDoqE Whole video
- 9. Dealing with Stress Breathe Create a list (HTWIDT 1. The Art
of Control) Get Social Seek out things that calm you Use
distractions T h
- 10. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz So the problem is, nowadays, with modern man, when we
feel in danger, we still fill up with our own chemical but because
we can't kill traffic wardens or eat our boss, the fuel just stays
in our body over and over, so we're in a constant state of
alarm
- 11. 3. PSYCHOLOGY Ruby Wax So the problem is, nowadays, with
modern man, when we feel in danger, we still fill up with our own
chemical but because we can't kill traffic wardens or eat our boss,
the fuel just stays in our body over and over, so we're in a
constant state of alarm
- 12. So how do we train our responses to not be scared of
stress, what if we could embrace it, accept it, harness it? Turn
Negative stress to Positive Stress
- 13. Kelly McGonical How To Make Stress Your Friend
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en
Video approx 1.20 to 3:30 minutes.
- 14. Making Stress Your Friend - Re-framing Re-framing is a
technique to change the way you look at things in order to feel
better about them. There are many ways to interpret the same
situation so pick the one you like. Re-framing does not change the
external reality, but helps you view things in a different light
and less stressfully. Im rubbish at presenting, it makes me feel
awful and uncomfortable becomes When I am talking about something I
like it doesnt matter how many people are watching it just
flows
- 15. Making Stress Your Friend - Positivity Stress leaves us
vulnerable to negative suggestion so focus on positives; Focus on
your strengths Learn from the stress you are under Look for
opportunities Seek out the positive - make a change Compliment
others regularly
- 16. Positivity Tips Do more of what you like Your relationship
with your boss is the single most important relationship to your
overall happiness and wellbeing, make it a priority No one comes to
work purposely to annoy you, so work out why you are upset to give
you strategies to overcome stress People are very fun, we are all
different, learn from people that inspire you
- 17. Larry King I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say
this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must
do it by listening
- 18. Understanding Yourself and Others
- 19. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz I don't like that man. I must get to know him
better.
- 20. Abraham Lincoln1. BUSINESS 4. PHILOSOPHY I don't like that
man. I must get to know him better.
- 21. So a question Who are you? YOU Parent Partner Employee Boss
Personality Type Colleague Worker Thinker Strengths/ Weaknesses
Friend
- 22. People Change We get older Circumstances and relationships
change We learn An optimistic view Neuroplasticity We become what
we do and where we focus Our brain chemistry changes Can be for the
better Mindfulness What do you want to do and how do you want to
think?
- 23. How tough are you with you? When you catch yourself feeling
youre not as good as you should or could be, especially when thats
in the past Look at who youre comparing yourself with If you
compare yourself with other people, chances are youd realise they
are a mix of strengths, weaknesses and middle stuff Normally people
realise they stack up pretty well/ok Wed suggest you may be
comparing yourself to super You!
- 24. Super Pete and Super Mark
- 25. Super Pete He has no downtime He never gets frustrated He
doesnt speak too much and always listens attentively He has a time
machine because hed do things differently in the past He can do an
infinite quantity of tasks Hes universally positive He can take
criticism always just as opinions Unfortunately: - he doesnt exist,
comparing with him is frankly bonkers!
- 26. Super Mark He only works his hours and gets everything done
He can forget things that happened to him because theyve passed,
just like that! He can concentrate on one thing only at a time and
really enjoy it He gets up at 0600 every day and is never tired
Unfortunately: - he doesnt exist, comparing with him is frankly
bonkers! If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If
you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama
- 27. So when are we Superish? At our best thats often in flow
states Totally engaged in a task Hours pass in minutes Concept from
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Studied people who loved what they did
Artists, musicians, chess players, rock climbers
- 28. Flow Flow is the state in which people are so involved in
an activity, that nothing else seems to matter; the experience
itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost,
for the shear sake of doing it. It does not seem to be true that
work necessarily needs to be unpleasant. It may always have to be
hard, or at least harder than doing nothing at all. But there is
ample evidence that work can be enjoyable, and that indeed, it is
often the most enjoyable part of life. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
- 29. Flow High Challenge High Skill
- 30. Flow High Challenge High Skill Use Signature Strengths,
especially in a new area. Do you know what your strengths are?
http://www.authentichappiness.org Select Tasks for Intrinsic
Motivation, where you can bring your high skill levels Develop
Skills in a challenging activity Can your workgroup redistribute
tasks to make that better?
- 31. Working in even more difficult times
- 32. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4.
PHILOSOPHY The number of stressors has multiplied exponentially:
traffic, money, success, work/life balance, the economy, the
environment, parenting, family conflict, relationships, disease. As
the nature of human life has become far more complicated, our
ancient stress response hasn't been able to keep up.
- 33. Andrew Bernstein Ph.D 4. PHILOSOPHY The number of stressors
has multiplied exponentially: traffic, money, success, work/life
balance, the economy, the environment, parenting, family conflict,
relationships, disease. As the nature of human life has become far
more complicated, our ancient stress response hasn't been able to
keep up.
- 34. Motivation Were at our best when doing things for which
were intrinsically motivated. autonomy, mastery and purpose. -
Autonomy: the urge to direct our own lives. - Mastery: the desire
to get better and better at something that matters. - Purpose: the
yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than
ourselves. Dan Pink Get those conditions where you can, be creative
What if you cant have those? Get help, delegate or tough it out,
grit
- 35. Grit
http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit?language=en
Video approx: 1m to 3:30
- 36. Grit Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term
goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future,
day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but
for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality.
Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint. Angela Lee
Duckworth If I persist long enough I will win. ~Og Mandino
- 37. Increase your Grit you can bear what you think you cannot
bear, particularly if you see that doing so has a purpose. Windy
Dryden Try doing tough things for 30 days Willpower gets tired, use
it in the morning Basics, sleep and exercise Associate with people
with Grit Meditation/Mindfulness
- 38. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4.
PHILOSOPHY Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're
a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge
player
- 39. Bill Gates Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter
whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a
bridge player 2. TECH/SCIENCE
- 40. Supporting Others Here we advocate listening Listening
allows learning and gains clarity Listening minimises resistance
People like being listened to Listening coaches and empowers,
people often do have the answers that will work for them
Unfortunately Listening is hard, you have to consciously work at it
and practise how
- 41. Active Listening 1 Asking open questions: any questions not
requiring a yes/no answer eg How? What? Where? Who? When? and Why?
2 Summarising: a summary helps to show the person that you have
listened and understood them. 3 Reflecting: simply repeating back a
key word or phrase encourages the person to go on and expand on
what has been said. 4 Clarifying: sometimes a person will gloss
over an important point or emotion. Phrases such as Tell me more
about... can help the person clarify these points for themselves. 5
Short words of encouragement: A simple yes, go on, or I see help
the person to continue, and shows that you are interested. 6
Reacting: People are often looking for empathy and understanding.
Phrases that show youve really understood what something was like
for them can help build rapport and trust.
- 42. "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never
listen." - Ernest Hemingway
- 43. Productivity and Performance
- 44. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY Quote Quiz 4.
PHILOSOPHY Be true to yourself, stay positive and always find a way
to leverage your strengths. Be authentic, dont follow the
herd.
- 45. Alan Mulally Be true to yourself, stay positive and always
find a way to leverage your strengths. Be authentic, dont follow
the herd. 1. BUSINESS
- 46. Email So many people tell us email is their problem You
need a system, it wont get better on its own Well tell you about 2
quickly
- 47. Petes email Method in minutes Key disconnects: Everyone
expects their requests responded to yet people dont believe they
can handle their responses. Many use email as a task list, but an
inbox blurs importance and urgency People value email as a way of
getting things done, yet most people feel overloaded by it. Many
people spend a lot of time filing and increasing backlogs
- 48. Basics of Petes Model File only by date and use search,
save time and avoid piles of filing Dont delete anything Get good
at search Use a task list outside of outlook. New PST every 6
months Batch and touch an email once, add to a task list
- 49. Or for the more Adventurous
- 50. Marks method/Email Diet in minutes Choose that volume is
not the goal Big emotional leap, you may not be ready Get out of
the inbox quickly, most things dont need a response at all Accept
that you get email because you send it and regulate what you send
to get less back Answer emails with calls, meetings or save to
discuss in 1:1s. Tell people when youd prefer not to receive email,
workgroups, subordinates, vacation Remind people that you hate
email often!
- 51. Marks method/Email Diet in minutes Email is a jumping off
point for discussions Talking is sooooo much more fun Still send
emails when necessary, but maybe 50-80% less (I aim for 20-30 a
day) Never stay late to send email, youll have loads more when you
get back, if you have to, compose it and save it, send
tomorrow
- 52. Other email Methods Peter Cooke Taming the tide Digital
worker, Yammer - #email Find something that works for you. Just
dont expect others to change without intervention
- 53. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE 3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to
it
- 54. Hans Selye 2. TECH/SCIENCE Its not stress that kills us, it
is our reaction to it
- 55. The Final Word
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en
Video approx: 6:45 to 7:30
- 56. Any Questions
- 57. References/More reading
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_
make_stress_your_friend?language=en
http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the
_key_to_success_grit/transcript?language=en
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation?l anguage=en
http://www.ted.com/talks/ruby_wax_what_s_so_funn
y_about_mental_illness?language=en Sane New World: Taming the Mind
Paperback 27 Feb 2014, by Ruby Wax How to work in difficult times:
1. the art of control http://x.ford.com/htwidt