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How Children How Children Differ:Differ:

Temperament & Temperament & PersonalityPersonality

“Every child brought into the world increases the responsibility of the parents. . . . Their

dispositions, their tendencies, their traits of character are to be studied. Very carefully should

the discriminating powers of the parents be educated, that they may be enabled to repress

the wrong tendencies and encourage right impressions and correct principles. Violence or

harshness is not required in this work. Self-control must be cultivated and leave its impression on the mind and heart of the child.” Child Guidance,

p. 205

What Is Temperament?

• A Set of Inborn TraitsA Set of Inborn Traits

• It Does Not Dictate It Does Not Dictate WhatWhat You You DoDo

• It Influences It Influences HowHow You Do It You Do It

• It Can Be Directed Positively It Can Be Directed Positively or Negativelyor Negatively

The Nine Temperament Traits

Activity Activity LevelLevel

On the go . . .On the go . . .

. . . Or Sedentary?. . . Or Sedentary?

The Nine Temperament Traits

DistractibilDistractibilityity

Distracted or Distracted or Attentive?Attentive?

The Nine Temperament Traits

IntensityIntensity

Intense . . .Intense . . .

. . . Or Calm?. . . Or Calm?

The Nine Temperament Traits

RegularityRegularity

Predictable . . .Predictable . . .

. . . Or . . . Or Unpredictable?Unpredictable?

The Nine Temperament Traits

Sensory Sensory ThresholdThreshold

The Nine Temperament Traits

Approach/Approach/WithdrawalWithdrawal

Extrovert . . .Extrovert . . .. . . Introvert?. . . Introvert?

The Nine Temperament Traits

AdaptabiliAdaptabilityty

Easily Adaptable . Easily Adaptable . . .. .

. . . Or Slow to . . . Or Slow to Adapt?Adapt?

The Nine Temperament Traits

PersistenPersistencece

The Nine Temperament Traits

MoodMoodHalf Full . . .Half Full . . . . . . Or Half . . . Or Half

Empty?Empty?

The 3 Basic Types of The 3 Basic Types of TemperamentTemperament

• Easy – Easy – Tranquil, Calm, Consistently Easy to Tranquil, Calm, Consistently Easy to ComfortComfort

• Difficult – Difficult – Fussy, Hard to Satisfy & Comfort, Fussy, Hard to Satisfy & Comfort, AnxiousAnxious

• Slow to Warm Up – Slow to Warm Up – Timid, Reluctant, Wary of Timid, Reluctant, Wary of New ExperiencesNew Experiences

40%40%

10%10%

15%15%

What Is Personality?

• Combination of Nature & Combination of Nature & NurtureNurture

• Developed Over TimeDeveloped Over Time

• Foundation for Character Foundation for Character DevelopmentDevelopment

• Influenced by Many FactorsInfluenced by Many Factors

Birth Order, Family Size, Life Events, Birth Order, Family Size, Life Events, Serious Ilnesses, Deaths, Family Moves, Serious Ilnesses, Deaths, Family Moves,

Economic Status, Gender, Inteligence, Economic Status, Gender, Inteligence, Age, Health, ParentingAge, Health, Parenting

The 5 Factor Model of The 5 Factor Model of PersonalityPersonality

OCEANOCEAN OROR

CANOECANOE

The 5 Factor Model of Personality OpennessThe 5 Factor Model of Personality Openness

•I have a rich vocabulary. I have a rich vocabulary. •I have a vivid imagination. I have a vivid imagination. •I have excellent ideas. I have excellent ideas. •I spend time reflecting on things. I spend time reflecting on things. •I use difficult words. I use difficult words. •I am not interested in abstractions. I am not interested in abstractions. (reversed) (reversed) •I do not have a good imagination. I do not have a good imagination. (reversed) (reversed)

•I have difficulty understanding abstract I have difficulty understanding abstract ideas. ideas. (reversed) (reversed)

The 5 Factor Model of Personality ConscientiousnessThe 5 Factor Model of Personality Conscientiousness

•I am always prepared.I am always prepared.•I am exacting in my work.I am exacting in my work.•I follow a schedule.I follow a schedule.•I get chores done right away.I get chores done right away.•I like order.I like order.•I pay attention to details.I pay attention to details.•I leave my belongings around. I leave my belongings around. (reversed)(reversed)•I make a mess of things. I make a mess of things. (reversed)(reversed)•I often forget to put things back in their I often forget to put things back in their proper place. proper place. (reversed)(reversed)•I shirk my duties. I shirk my duties. (reversed)(reversed)

The 5 Factor Model of Personality ExtroversionThe 5 Factor Model of Personality Extroversion

•I am the life of the party.I am the life of the party.•I don't mind being the center of attention.I don't mind being the center of attention.•I feel comfortable around people.I feel comfortable around people.•I start conversations.I start conversations.•I talk to a lot of different people at parties.I talk to a lot of different people at parties.•I am quiet around strangers. I am quiet around strangers. (reversed)(reversed)•I don't like to draw attention to myself. I don't like to draw attention to myself. (reversed)(reversed)•I don't talk a lot. I don't talk a lot. (reversed)(reversed)•I have little to say. I have little to say. (reversed)(reversed)

The 5 Factor Model of Personality AgreeablenessThe 5 Factor Model of Personality Agreeableness

•I am interested in people.I am interested in people.•I feel others’ emotions.I feel others’ emotions.•I have a soft heart.I have a soft heart.•I make people feel at ease.I make people feel at ease.•I sympathize with others’ feelings.I sympathize with others’ feelings.•I take time out for others.I take time out for others.•I am not interested in other people’s I am not interested in other people’s problems. problems. (reversed)(reversed)•I am not really interested in others. I am not really interested in others. (reversed)(reversed)•I feel little concern for others. I feel little concern for others. (reversed)(reversed)•I insult people. I insult people. (reversed)(reversed)•I like being isolated. I like being isolated. (reversed)(reversed)

The 5 Factor Model of Personality NeuroticismThe 5 Factor Model of Personality Neuroticism

•I am easily disturbed.I am easily disturbed.•I change my mood a lot.I change my mood a lot.•I get irritated easily.I get irritated easily.•I get stressed out easily.I get stressed out easily.•I get upset easily.I get upset easily.•I have frequent mood swings.I have frequent mood swings.•I often feel blue.I often feel blue.•I worry about things.I worry about things.•I am relaxed most of the time. I am relaxed most of the time. (reversed)(reversed)•I seldom feel blue. I seldom feel blue. (reversed)(reversed)

Realistic ExpectationsRealistic Expectations

• Differentiate Childish Behavior from Differentiate Childish Behavior from Challenging TemperamentChallenging Temperament

• Differentiate Tired Irritability from Negative Differentiate Tired Irritability from Negative Behavior TraitsBehavior Traits

• Make sure you are not the problem by the Make sure you are not the problem by the way you reactway you react

• Don’t discourage seemingly difficult Don’t discourage seemingly difficult temperament traits temperament traits They may prove They may prove valuable in adult life (persistence)valuable in adult life (persistence)

Avoiding LabelsAvoiding Labels

““Four Eyes”Four Eyes”

““Book Book Worm”Worm”

““Bully”Bully”

““Class Class Clown”Clown”

Making AdjustmentsMaking Adjustments

At At Home . . .Home . . .

. . . Or . . . Or AwayAway

Coping with Your Child’s Coping with Your Child’s Personality Personality Parenting Strategies

For Very Intense Children:•Provide activities that are soothing. •Recognize cues that signal that intensity is rising. •Help child learn to recognize cues that signal that intensity is rising. •Use humor to diffuse intensity. •Teach child to use time-out as a time to calm self-down. •Avoid escalating intensity of child by reacting intensely. •Give calm, clear, brief feedback.

Coping with Your Child’s Coping with Your Child’s Personality Personality Parenting

Strategies for Slow-to-Adapt Children:

•Establish clear routines. •Prepare child by discussing plans for the day when routine changes. •Prepare child for transitions. •Give warnings a few minutes before transition between activities. •Allow time for closure of one activity before going on to next. •Stay aware of number of transitions required.•Keep transitions to minimum if possible.

Coping with Your Child’s Coping with Your Child’s Personality Personality Things to Things to

RememberRemember• Become a Manager of Your Child’s Become a Manager of Your Child’s TemperamentTemperament

• Prepare by Pre-planningPrepare by Pre-planning

• Learn to Distinguish Between Temperament Learn to Distinguish Between Temperament and Learned Behaviorand Learned Behavior

• Help Your Child Understand Their Help Your Child Understand Their TemperamentTemperament

• Teach Your Child that He/She is Precious to Teach Your Child that He/She is Precious to GodGod

A Final ThoughtA Final Thought“Everything leaves its impress upon their minds -- the countenances they look

upon, the voices they hear, the places they visit, the company they keep, and the books they read. It is impossible to overestimate the importance for this

world and the next of the associations we choose for ourselves and, more

especially, for our children.”

Adventist Home, p. 459