Post on 14-Jan-2015
description
Self-compassion versus self-esteem
Kristin Neff, PhD
University of Texas at Austin
Self-Esteem Movement
• For decades, self-esteem was seen to represent optimal psychological health
• Widespread movement (largely failed) to promote self-esteem in the schools
• Self-esteem no longer held in such high esteem
Two forms of self-esteem
• William James: Perceptions of competence in important domains
Perfectionism – some feel it’s important to be good at everything
“Slacker” phenomenon – some only value things they’re good at (ex. basketball vs. school)
Two forms of self-esteem
• Charles Horton Cooley: Looking-glass selfSelf-esteem based on social approvalMore emphasis placed on approval from
acquaintances than close othersCan lead to conformity and lack of authenticity
Problems with self-esteem
• Hard to raise self-esteem• Lake Wobegone effect – need to be special and above
average to feel okay about oneself
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Garrison Keillor
The pursuit of high self-esteem may be linked to:Narcissism and self-centerednessMe Generation - Self-esteem movement has led to
an epidemic of narcissism among college students
The pursuit of high self-esteem may be linked to:PrejudicePeople often derive self-esteem from feelings of
superiority (race, politics, religion, culture)
The pursuit of high self-esteem may be linked to:Ego-defensiveness (anger and projection)Anger and aggression is often higher among those
with high self-esteem
Isn’t it going to be fun to get the respect we deserve?
The pursuit of high self-esteem may be linked to:• Self-esteem often contingent on appearance,
competition, putting others down
The pursuit of high self-esteem may be linked to:• Self-esteem can be highly unstable, going up and
down depending on our latest success or failure
Self-compassion vs. self-esteem
• Both self-compassion and self-esteem involve positive emotions toward the selfSelf-esteem based on evaluations of the self as
worthy, likable or competentSelf-compassion does not involve self-evaluation, but
entails positive feelings of care and connectedness• Both self-esteem and self-compassion offer protection
against depression, anxiety, etc.• Self-compassion does not have the same drawbacks as
self-esteem
Self-compassion vs. self-esteem
Unlike self-esteem, self compassion:• Is not associated with narcissism• Helps buffer against ego-threat (less anxiety)• Associated with taking increased responsibility for past
mistakes while also being less distressed by them• Is more stable and less contingent• Provides greater connectedness - fewer social
comparisons, less anger, better relationships
Self-compassion versus self-esteem
• Self-compassion de-emphasizes view of self as separate from others
• Does not require defense of the ego• Self-compassion is (theoretically) always available• May be a healthier way to experience positive
emotions toward the self